Prenuptial Housing
January 6, 2021
00:00
Benjamin Franklin said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”.
Believe it or not, sometimes people plan to fail. A designer in the Netherlands has a new concept for a floating house. Designed like two puzzle pieces, the house separates so if you’re unhappy you cast your spouse adrift. Now, when your marriage drifts apart, you can detach the two units and each partner can drift apart in their own home. It’s called, “Prenuptial Housing.” What? We’re designing houses prepared for failure. Why not invest that much energy and planning into being successful?
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When kids live between two homes, you can’t win every parenting battle, but some issues are a hill worth dying on.
Single parents and blended-family parents know they can’t control how the other home parents the children but what do you do when there is an unhealthy influence? Decide together with your spouse which issues are worth the battle and how you’ll proceed. This will protect your marriage and help you brace for impact. Then, use respect to engage the other home and look for things you agree on. Remember, the battle is for your child’s wellbeing, not necessarily yours.
January 5, 2021
You know that last argument you had—it was definitely the other person’s fault.
We have an uncanny ability to be selfish and deceitful all while looking in the mirror and thinking well of ourselves. Proverbs made that observation a long time ago: “the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes.” (Proverbs 12:15) The most common person we lie to is ourselves…about ourselves. We exaggerate the other person’s contribution to an argument while minimizing our own. Ask yourself, “If I was my co-worker, child, spouse, would I be frustrated interacting with me?” Stop lying to yourself.
January 4, 2021
Now here’s a resolution for you. Colossians 3 says, “Set your mind on things above”.
The way to reach your goal is to set your mind to it. God knows how we are wired and what it takes to create change in our lives. Whatever you think about is what you tend to become. If you tell a child, “Don’t spill your milk.” You just made it more likely they will spill their milk. Instead say, “Walk slowly and hold your milk with two hands.” Set their mind on what you want. The same goes for you and me. Of course, setting your mind on the things of God is always a good resolution, too.
January 1, 2021
How do you love someone different than you—I mean really different?
You’re a talker; your son isn’t. You’re a saver, your wife isn’t. You’re have to-do lists, but your dating partner can't find her keys. Why does God make us so different? I think to force us outside ourselves. Think of it this way. If you’re a flaming extrovert and your spouse an introvert, neither of you is “wrong.” But both of you have to moderate who you are in order to serve the other. I move my personality closer to yours, you toward mine, and we both lose ourselves in order to find us.
December 31, 2020
What’s more important to you—possessions or people?
Have you seen the car commercial where the husband lies to his wife so he can drive his new car? The caption is, “You’ll do anything to take it for a drive.” Really? This car is so special you’d rather betray your wife than not drive it? The assumption people value possessions more than family seems ludicrous when you say it out-loud, but what if there’s some truth to it? If someone were to document how much time and energy you put into your possessions, might they believe you cherish them more?
December 30, 2020
Here’s an idea for all parents: Smile when you say “no”.
By his own admission, Steve was demanding as a parent. He had to be after his wife died leaving him with three teenagers to raise. Years later, when he married and became a stepdad, his authoritarian style was well set. But what worked as a parent backfired as a stepparent. I suggested he put a smile with his “no.” I explained we get more influential as parents when we are gentle, yet firm. When we’re calm while we set boundaries or handle discipline. Grace and truth is a powerful combination.
December 29, 2020
Did your mother ever tell you to save for a rainy day? So, did Solomon.
Many people struggle financially, in part because they are in debt and living paycheck to paycheck while buying cars and devices they can’t afford. Well, in Proverbs 27 Solomon encourages us to adopt a wise financial strategy. “Know the condition of your flocks,” he begins. “Give attention to managing what you have, for riches” he continued, “do not last forever.” Don’t waste what you have. Set some aside for a rainy day so when conditions deteriorate, you and your family will not be in need.
December 28, 2020
At the birth of Christ were there any unsung heroes?
Joseph married a woman of questionable reputation, lost his reputation in the process, and became a stepfather. He had to move to an unfamiliar place sacrificing his career then drift off the pages of history. It cost him everything to faithfully love and care for Jesus. Then Jesus grew up and taught that following him costs everything. "Deny yourself and take up your cross," he said. Joseph could relate. The cost for him was great and it will be for us, but in losing ourselves we find life.
December 25, 2020
Hmmm. Second wife, first ornaments.
For blended families, along with the good of holiday traditions, comes resurrected grief and reminders to new stepfamily members that they weren’t first. For example, what does a second wife do with ornaments that say, “First Christmas” or “Mommy?” Laura Petherbridge in her stepfamily devotional, Seeking a Silent Night suggests asking your husband and stepchildren what they want to do with them or save them until they get older. By honoring their relationship with their mom, you honor them.
December 24, 2020
One voice worth listening to is the voice of experience.
We asked our social media readers in what way they underestimated how living in a stepfamily would be hard on their marriage. Nicole said, “I didn’t know how hard it would be to deal with another household.” Stepmom Brittany and her husband have struggled to unite their parenting styles. And the eight kids in Kari’s home are all grieving a deceased parent. What’s the point? As Christina said, “Rely on Jesus to sustain you.” And, then she thanked us for helping her anticipate the challenges.
December 23, 2020
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.