Christmas: Giving All
December 25, 2020
00:00
At the birth of Christ were there any unsung heroes?
Joseph married a woman of questionable reputation, lost his reputation in the process, and became a stepfather. He had to move to an unfamiliar place sacrificing his career then drift off the pages of history. It cost him everything to faithfully love and care for Jesus. Then Jesus grew up and taught that following him costs everything. "Deny yourself and take up your cross," he said. Joseph could relate. The cost for him was great and it will be for us, but in losing ourselves we find life.
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Archives
Hmmm. Second wife, first ornaments.
For blended families, along with the good of holiday traditions, comes resurrected grief and reminders to new stepfamily members that they weren’t first. For example, what does a second wife do with ornaments that say, “First Christmas” or “Mommy?” Laura Petherbridge in her stepfamily devotional, Seeking a Silent Night suggests asking your husband and stepchildren what they want to do with them or save them until they get older. By honoring their relationship with their mom, you honor them.
December 24, 2020
One voice worth listening to is the voice of experience.
We asked our social media readers in what way they underestimated how living in a stepfamily would be hard on their marriage. Nicole said, “I didn’t know how hard it would be to deal with another household.” Stepmom Brittany and her husband have struggled to unite their parenting styles. And the eight kids in Kari’s home are all grieving a deceased parent. What’s the point? As Christina said, “Rely on Jesus to sustain you.” And, then she thanked us for helping her anticipate the challenges.
December 23, 2020
Do you know your heart?
In the Bible Proverbs 27:19 says, “…the heart of man reflects the man.” It’s the heart of a person—their mind, their passions, what they value in life—that makes it clear what someone is really about. Our world judges on the outside but God looks on the heart and so should we. Especially our own heart. We have this uncanny ability to fool ourselves and get so wrapped up in doing we forget to ask what that reveals about our passions and values. So let’s ask, “What does my heart reflect about me?”
December 22, 2020
What’s the best thing a father can do for his children?
If you believe the old adage, the answer is love their mother because together they provide a healthy environment for their children. Is that also true for stepfathers? Well, in the beginning a stepfather is, in effect, taking the mother away from the kids at least that’s the way it feels to them. But eventually, when the family has had time to bond and connect, the answer is yes. A loving marriage at first puts the kids in a jam, but eventually becomes the glue that holds the family together.
December 21, 2020
Healthy co-parenting is hard. So, is it worth all the hard work?
Co-parenting is increasingly common these days. When we get it right, there are a lot of benefits. It reduces loyalty conflicts in children. It decreases resentment between homes, making it emotionally safer for kids to move back and forth. It improves the psychological well-being of children. It fosters cooperative parenting, which means kids can’t play one home against the other. And it reduces stress in a couple’s relationship, strengthening their marriage. I’d say it’s well worth it.
December 18, 2020
How do you prevent divorce in the next generation?
You do that by preventing divorce in their parents. Children of divorce are less confident about the idea of marriage, often choose cohabitation over marriage, and are themselves 89% more likely to divorce when they get married. What do you do for kids who have already experienced divorce? Give them a healthy marriage model. You prevent divorce in the next generation by preventing redivorce in this generation. Healthy stepcouples lead by example which is reparative and that breaks the cycle.
December 17, 2020
Diligence secures a reward.
Proverbs 27 says, “Whoever tends a fig tree, will eat its fruit.” Apparently, faithful diligence brings reward. Now, that’s a speech we want to tell our kids before they go to college. And, one we need to give ourselves when we have a prodigal child. Or are looking for a job or struggling with a bad habit. In faithfulness, keep tending to the tree—the relationship or situation—season after season. It may not bring quick reward or bear the exact fruit you want, but reward it likely will bring.
December 16, 2020
Never let your parenting be held hostage.
Single parents and stepfamily parents know that their parenting is affected by how the other home parents. If they say, “Yes” to something you said, “No” to, you start rethinking your decisions. The fear of what an ex might do can paralyze you. Pray for courage to press in despite what the other home is doing. Keep your balance and practice good parenting. Trust that providing consistent boundaries and love over time will make all the difference.
December 15, 2020
Are you standing up…for the kid right next to you?
We’ll fly around the world to aid children suffering from war or poverty, but we'll do nothing when it’s a kid across the street. Rarely will Christians speak up for someone else’s child caught in ongoing battles between their homes. We don’t want to “get into their business” but we should do something. Respectfully, but assertively ask a parent who bad-mouths the other home and puts their child in the middle as a spy to stop. If it’s about a child, it’s not just “their business,” it’s ours.
December 14, 2020
If you’re a single parent or dating one, here’s a dating myth to avoid.
A new marriage does not restore the original family, it forms a different family. It doesn’t give back to your kids a missing parent; it gives them a “stepparent” and a parenting team that is very different than the biological family system they were born into. Don’t get me wrong, a stepfamily may work well for your kids but don’t decide to marry based on a myth. Blended families are not “repaired” first families; they are different families with their own dynamics, challenges, and rewards.
December 11, 2020
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.