God, Change My Spouse
January 19, 2021
00:00
I’m wondering, should you pray for God to change your spouse?
If you’re married, you’ve probably prayed that prayer at least once. But how do we know if that’s appropriate or just shifting blame? Well, if your spouse is involved in sinful behavior pray for them to repent. And if they are abusive don’t tolerate it, get to safety, and pray they are convicted to change. But if it’s just a matter of preference, well, pray for your heart to change more times than you pray for them to change.
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Hey Ron, can stepparents discipline their stepchildren?
Periodically I get that question because someone heard a TV talk show host say that stepparents should not discipline, that only the biological parents should do that. To be candid, that’s poor advice. What if foster parents or adoptive parents did that? It’d be utter chaos. Now, stepparents should not act independently of the biological parent, work with them. And as long as you enforce the rules you have agreed to, you can discipline your stepchildren.
January 18, 2021
Corporations have business meetings all the time. Shouldn’t families do that?
Generally, the purpose behind a business meeting is to generate teamwork and productivity. A family meeting is so much more than that. It’s about facilitating family harmony as well as making vacation plans and discussing the family calendar. You can also work through hurt feelings and support each other in tough times. And there’s a bonus for blended families: regular family meetings become a ritual that strengthens a sense of family identity.
January 15, 2021
Watch out! It’s a trap!
Proverbs 22:14 speaks a great truth that we all need to hear. “The mouth of forbidden women is a deep pit.” Now, that pit is hidden, a trap that collapses under you. Of course, the “forbidden woman” could be a real person. But in this day and age, it could also be a video on the internet. Protect your heart from the forbidden woman, protect your home from her enticements, and point out that deep pit to your children so they can walk around it and not fall in.
January 14, 2021
Different kid, different parenting.
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” That’s a promise, right? No, actually, the emphasis of the verse is on the child, not the path. Train up a child and move them toward their giftedness and strengths. That is challenging enough, but imagine becoming a foster parent or stepparent. Where do you start? Study the child. Talk to their parent. Pray for insight to help them be who God has designed them to be.
January 13, 2021
She’s showing her true colors, Ron, and they’re not very pretty.
Sharon posted that she and her sister, both adults, were happy for their father when he remarried after their mother died. Their dad’s new wife seemed approachable but eventually she manipulated their dad, systematically cutting him off from them. That’s wrong. It’s a shallow person who confiscates someone’s love and divides a family. If God is your source, you’ll always have enough love for all and they’ll have enough for you. But if you’re possessive, you might be the one who gets cut out.
January 12, 2021
What sort of term of endearment do you give a spouse who has the soul of a pterodactyl?
That’s the question Pastor Tommy Nelson used to ask. Some people just make you want to run and hide. Proverbs 21 says, “Better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Now, I need to ask you. Are you that unkind person? We all have some rough edges to our personality but some have sharp, serrated edges that they don’t do anything about and they expect others not to mind. Come on. The call of discipleship is to take off your old self and put on the new.
January 11, 2021
Ron, I thought I was going crazy, but now I know I’m not alone.
Tina had read an article online about parents who get paralyzed and don’t set boundaries for their children. She and her husband were a blended family. She worked hard at structure and expectations with the kids but her husband—well, he just let his son do whatever he wanted. You can’t have two different parenting styles in the same home without conflict. You’re both going to have adjustments to make, but if you’re the paralyzed parent there’s hope. You can move again. Let us help you.
January 8, 2021
Okay, kids, we just gave some money to the homeless man at the last street corner. Do you give some more to the guy at this corner?
That’s actually what I said to my kids. It wasn’t a pop quiz or anything. It was a genuine dilemma for me. We had been talking about Proverbs 21:13 and “not closing our ears to the cry of the poor.” It’s just not easy to always know what to do. Here’s the takeaway. Share your faith dilemmas out loud with your children and stepchildren. It teaches them to wrestle with life issues in light of God’s word. It invites them to see your heart and the talk strengthens your family’s faith walk.
January 7, 2021
Benjamin Franklin said, “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”.
Believe it or not, sometimes people plan to fail. A designer in the Netherlands has a new concept for a floating house. Designed like two puzzle pieces, the house separates so if you’re unhappy you cast your spouse adrift. Now, when your marriage drifts apart, you can detach the two units and each partner can drift apart in their own home. It’s called, “Prenuptial Housing.” What? We’re designing houses prepared for failure. Why not invest that much energy and planning into being successful?
January 6, 2021
When kids live between two homes, you can’t win every parenting battle, but some issues are a hill worth dying on.
Single parents and blended-family parents know they can’t control how the other home parents the children but what do you do when there is an unhealthy influence? Decide together with your spouse which issues are worth the battle and how you’ll proceed. This will protect your marriage and help you brace for impact. Then, use respect to engage the other home and look for things you agree on. Remember, the battle is for your child’s wellbeing, not necessarily yours.
January 5, 2021
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.