"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” Hebrews 10:35-36 (NIV)
One night I was cleaning our kitchen and found this little rubber thingy on our countertop. It wasn’t until after I threw it away that I realized it was the power button for our TV remote control. As I dug through the trash to find it, I regretted how quickly I’d thrown it away.
Then, as I reached to pull it out, I sensed God showing me that’s how easily I throw away my confidence—without recognizing it.
It’s usually very subtle. Sometimes I’ll be thinking about something I want to do or sense God calling me to, and a feeling of uncertainty comes over me and whispers to my heart, You can’t do that. You’re not good enough. Out of the blue, I’ll just get that awful, insecure feeling.
Too many times in the past I’ve gone along with it, tossing my confidence into the trash without even thinking.
For years, I didn’t tell anyone about my lack of confidence because I figured if I told them all the reasons I doubted myself, they’d see my flaws and agree with me. Honestly, I was convinced I was the only one who struggled with doubt.
However, I didn’t call it doubt. Maybe you don’t either. Sometimes I called it worry—worry that I was going to disappoint someone, worry that I might make a mistake and get criticized for it, worry that I might start something but not be able to finish.
Other times I’d call it fear—fear that I wouldn’t measure up, fear that I’d look stupid, fear that I’d look prideful thinking I could do something special for God. What I’ve realized over the past several years is that these feelings may end up as fear or worry, but their source is self-doubt.
Looking back, I see a pattern in my thinking that led to the pattern of my doubting.
As a child I thought I wasn’t worth keeping. My insecurity kept me from riding the carousel at an amusement park, because I doubted my dad would wait for me. In school, I thought I wasn’t smart enough. I avoided some great opportunities because they came with the risk of failure.
Even as a young bride, I doubted my worth in my husband’s eyes. Although he gave me no reason to fear he’d ever leave me, our newlywed memories include a lot of arguments based on my insecurities.
What about you? Do you ever question your worth as a woman? How often do you agree with the whispers of self-doubt and throw away confidence that should be yours as a child of God?
I’ve learned to ask God to show me when I’m tempted to throw away my confidence and then depend on Him to help me throw away my insecurities instead. Want to join me? Let’s hold onto God’s promises and depend on His truth for the security we need and the confidence we long for:
• When self-doubt whispers, “I can’t do that. I’m going to fail and look foolish.” Throw away that lie and hold onto this truth (even say it out loud): “The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6, NIV 1984)
• When self-doubt whispers, “I’ll never change.” Throw away that lie and claim this truth: “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6, NASB)
• When self-doubt whispers, “This is too hard for me. I don’t have what it takes to…” Throw away that lie and hold onto this truth: “No, in all these things [I am] more than a [conqueror] through him who loved [me].” (Romans 8:37, NIV)
Lord, I want to become a woman with a confident heart in Christ. Will you help me recognize when I throw away my confidence, and remind me to throw away my insecurities instead? I want to persevere in Your truth so that when I have done Your will, I will receive what You have promised. When doubt or insecurity tells me I can’t do something, I will remember that all things are possible to her who believes. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.