FamilyLife Today®

Speaker 1

Faith without works is dead.

And so I think getting into service and being in a body in the church and serving there is important. Whatever you do, do it for God's glory.

Because God wants to use your time, your effort, and everything to share His word. And you can do it. Create.

Speaker 2

Welcome to Family Life Today, where we want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most. I'm Ann Wilson.

Speaker 3

And I'm Dave Wilson. And you can find us at familylifetoday.com. This is Family Life Today.

All right, so we've got the Cronkites, Jonathan and Carrie. What I wrote down that we're going to talk about, hopefully this is okay with you guys, is making God real to your kids.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Is that where we want to go? But before we do that, I thought it'd be interesting. There's a lot of our listeners or, you know, people even watch on YouTube that have never been on the cruise.

Oh, and you guys just got off the cruise. In fact, you talked to us in the ballroom or the auditorium, whatever you want to call it.

What do you think of the cruise? If you're, like, listening and you've never been on it, would you say, go on it? You think it's good? What do you think?

Speaker 1

We've already talked, like, how many couples into going.

Speaker 4

Yeah, we've got three or four really signed up that are coming.

Speaker 3

Oh, good.

Speaker 2

And this was your first one?

Speaker 4

This was the first one.

Speaker 3

What'd you like? What was good?

Speaker 4

It was an amazing atmosphere. The atmosphere is completely different from past cruises that we've been on. I mean, because everything is uplifting, encouraging, God honoring the entertainment, the musicians, the speaking.

And then what, you know, even better was people like you coming and speaking and really encouraging, equipping and inspiring us as married folks.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it's really a great, great week.

Speaker 1

I thought all the speakers were incredible. And, you know, usually when you attend, or maybe we haven't been to one in too long, but, like, the speakers usually are like, look at me, I'm perfect. I've got it all together, you know, and you should be like me kind of thing.

And you're, you know, can't do that. But I felt like everyone was so real and authentic and shared their weaknesses, their struggles and connected with us. So it's like, wait, like, I even. Y'all said that from the stage. If they can do it, then we can do it kind of thing.

Speaker 3

Right?

Speaker 1

So that was encouraging.

Speaker 2

I think the thing that's unique about it, too, is you can go to a Weekend to Remember Getaway, which are phenomenal, and we would recommend anybody to do that.

But when you have time to process with your spouse, you're on the cruise for seven days, and that can feel like a long time to people.

But in the sun, in the sun.

Speaker 3

Process in the sun.

Speaker 2

Generally you go home to a chaotic home where kids are, you know, your life is crazy. You get back to work. This gives you a little time to have fun, to laugh, to tour, to dance.

Speaker 1

We had so much fun with the ballroom dancing.

Speaker 2

Yeah, we have lessons that you can take.

Speaker 4

Yeah, every night we went to a lesson and so.

Speaker 2

But you have time like, hey, what did you think of that? And you don't always have that in just regular.

Speaker 3

All right, that's enough of a pitch.

Speaker 2

Okay, that's good.

Speaker 3

Go to familylifetoday.com and we'll have a link there to sign up for the Love Like You Mean It cruise, and it's almost sold out. I mean, it really is. So you want to do it?

Okay, let's talk. Why do you have this passion for, you know, making God real to your kids?

Every Christian parent I know, this is what we want to do. We are hoping and praying that God can be real to our kids from their toddler years all the way through adulthood.

Speaker 2

And you have a passion to help disciple parents.

Speaker 4

Yes.

Speaker 2

So our listeners, like, oh, this is me. Like, help us. Help disciple us.

Speaker 4

Well, the passion came from being a student pastor for like 15 years at this point. And I went on a quest. I went on a quest that if I'm going to do this for my life, I want to be the best and most effective for reaching kids, for Christ to become, you know, and that they continue to be Christ followers. I just asked myself, okay, to be the most effective, I need to focus on what's most effective.

So what's most effective? Was it, you know, one-on-one discipleship, mission trips, retreats, you know, Sunday school, youth group, parents? I mean, what is it, frankly, that I'm doing that's most effective? And I need to do that. I made a list of those things and the list of the kids that we had known. We now know kids who are pretty old, you know, when they were just 12 years old, when they were in our program.

But so I made that list of those kids that are lifelong, you know, adults that are following the Lord. I found the common denominator, and the common denominator wasn't anything I was doing as a youth pastor, as a student pastor. Yes, the common denominator from all those kids that had a lifelong faith in the Lord was that they had parents who effectively lived out their faith at home. They prayed together, made God real, a part of daily life, read the Word together, and just authentically made God a part of everything at home.

Speaker 2

Jonathan, we saw the same thing at our church because we started our church. I think we were both in our early 30s. I think I was 30, actually.

We did the same thing as the church got older. We're watching these students, these kids, and observing what's happening with their faith as they get older.

And we're asking those same questions: Why are these kids so on fire for Jesus? What's going on?

We discovered the exact same thing. It's the home that's making the difference.

Speaker 3

So what's that home doing? You mentioned several things, but I mean, sometimes as parents, we think, oh, they had the right curriculum or they did the right Bible studies or devotionals, or they didn't go to public school.

I mean, is it all that of the above? Well, every family wants to be that home. Coach them up.

Speaker 4

I don't want to speak for my wife, but I'm not the perfect parent.

Speaker 1

Neither am I.

Speaker 2

We wrote a book called no Perfect Parents.

Speaker 3

So there aren't any.

Speaker 2

There aren't any.

Speaker 4

So we know that. We actually have on our website a list of home impressions, things that you can do, things that parents can easily do to make God a priority and known in the home. Our greatest passion is teaching families how to do things.

Probably one of the two most important things would be praying together and reading God's word. Carrie and I came up with an acronym for pray. Pray is praise. R is for repent, A is ask for others, and Y would be ask for yourself.

So P finish the sentence: "God, you are..." and then they would finish the sentence with an adjective for God. We even, I think we still have on our website just a printout of adjectives that describe who God is.

And for our repent, we say, "God, forgive me for..." So when we go around and we're doing this as a family, we want kids to acknowledge that they've got faults and they are in need of forgiveness.

Speaker 2

So you would do that out loud?

Speaker 4

We would do this out loud and go around the table or couch, whatever. We were sitting down.

Speaker 3

I mean, is this happening when they're 5 years old and when they're 15 babies?

Speaker 1

So our little tiny ones would have a little rock in their hand? And while we're asking for others, you know, that's when they would use their rock. And.

Speaker 2

And people are like, wait, where'd the rock come in?

Speaker 3

Yeah, they've got a rock in their hand. Our cube. Our boys are gonna throw it at another brother, Right? I know.

Speaker 4

That's what a friend of mine Barkley said. I can't use rocks. My boys will be throwing them. Breaking windows and breaking heads.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 4

So we got. We got P for Praise God, you are R. Repent. God, forgive me for a. Ask for others. And then we'll come back to the prayer rocks after that. But that's when we would use the rocks.

And then, why ask for yourself? Because we want our kids to be thinking about others. We want them to be others-centered. We want them to, you know, not only be asking God for their things and their needs, but we want them to be sensitive to the needs of others.

So that's our acronym. Very simple, very easy. We would go around the table and the family would do it, and they would do it in that order. It was known and easy and yet meaningful. And so that's what we still do.

Speaker 3

I mean, did you continue that into, like, high school years still use them?

Speaker 1

And we always start with him, so he goes first, and then we go in birth order, you know, oldest to youngest. And then if there's friends or guests, they would join in after the youngest child. And then I always finish.

Speaker 3

You have friends do this when they're over?

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4

We kind of fill them in on our format and what we do so they feel more comfortable.

Speaker 2

How often do you do it?

Speaker 4

That changes based on the week and the year. But when our kids were young, life I thought was hard. Right. But it was actually easier. I mean, we would do it on a daily basis.

Speaker 3

Really?

Speaker 4

Yeah. And we don't want to put that kind of pressure on parents who are listening to this if they don't do this on a regular basis.

Because the point is, the goal is, and I'll keep saying it, to connect their hearts with God's. Nothing does that better, I think, than praying together, putting a prayer request on a rock, and seeing God at work, seeing God answer prayer.

That's what I think. Did youth ministry for a long time. And I really think kids grow up and grow out of their faith because they're not seeing God at work.

Speaker 2

So how did you come up with the rock?

Speaker 1

Well, you know, we were working at a church. And you know how when you're at church, you're talking to people and they're like, telling you about things that are going on in their life. And you're like, "Oh, I'll pray for you." And then you leave and I go back home. The next Sunday, as we're driving into the parking lot, I remember that I had told someone I was going to pray for them, and I forgot. You know, and I'm like, "That's so bad." I've got to think of a way to remember to pray for these people.

So, I was like, I need something visual because I'm a very visual person, as are a lot of people. I thought, I need it right in front of me. I had a journal where I would write the prayer requests and the answered prayers in the back, but then, you know, it's kind of out of sight, out of mind. We ended up messing around with different things, even like popsicle sticks. We'd write prayer requests and put them in a canister. You can really do anything, and that's nice when you're traveling or something.

But we wanted something that would be prettier and a monument of sorts. We came up with the idea of painting rocks, which was a craze at the time, and people were putting rocks everywhere. I thought, well, let's write it on a rock. He was looking up scripture about it and read Joshua, chapter four.

Speaker 4

This is really cool. To refresh our memory, Joshua's leading the Israelites into the promised land. They come to the Jordan River. God stops the Jordan River from flowing. The ark goes in. Everybody goes out. And then God says to Joshua, "Get 12 guys, go back to where the ark is and grab a rock, put it on your shoulder." So it's a big rock. Bring it out, place it here, and it's going to be a memorial.

God says, "And he said to the people of Israel, when your children ask their fathers in times to come, 'What do these stones mean?' Then you shall let your children know Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground. The Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan until you passed over as the Lord your God did the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over. So that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty and that you may fear the Lord your God."

So this visual reminder is what we use prayer rocks for. We write prayer requests on rocks. They're a visual reminder. We keep them in a bowl on the dining room table. They have just one word on them. But when we pray, we pass those out to our kids, whoever's praying with us. Sometimes my sister and niece are with us, and we use those rocks as reminders to pray for other people and things that are going on.

The cool thing is when God answers that prayer, it goes into our memorial, which right now is in our hallway around the kitchen. So every time our kids go to...

Speaker 1

The kitchen, which is a lot, they're.

Speaker 4

Young adults, of course, you know, so they've grown up with seeing a reminder of God's faithfulness, of God's power, of God's being, of God being at work in our family's lives.

Speaker 3

So you have like a memorial in your hallway.

Speaker 2

What's it in? Like a.

Speaker 4

It graduated into something bigger than this right here, but it's in a huge platter. It even has a bowl in the center of it because we're overflowing, you know, so we've been doing this for years.

So for listeners who may want to do this and get started, I want to make it very easy to get started because you could gather the family together and just ask, what are prayer requests that God has already answered?

And think about those. And then they're going to be challenged because we forget.

Speaker 2

And it creates a heart of gratitude, too, of like, look at what God has done. I think one of the reasons I like it, I was just telling our crew this, is I'm a very visual person too, and I think I see as God was appointing and telling the Israelites to do certain things, he used a lot of symbolism and reminders.

You know, if you look at Deuteronomy 6, it says, "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you're at home, when you're on the road, when you're going to bed, and when you're getting up."

This is the part 2: "Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

And I don't know if... Have you guys been to Israel?

Speaker 1

No.

Speaker 3

It's next.

Speaker 2

It was remarkable to me to go over to see Orthodox Jewish men on the plane going over, and I'm like, what are they doing? I had never seen these prayer boxes on their heads. And I even wrote it down. It's called a Tefillin. I'm probably saying that wrong, but they have scripture in it. They put it on their head and then they tie that also around their arms.

And then when they go in their house, there's something called a mezuzah that they put on the doorposts of their house. As they enter in, they touch it. And in this little scroll-looking thing inside, they have actual scripture of this verse.

But do you see that? How it's all symbolism. Remember the tassels on their robes? It's remembering to me. This is all about that. You're creating a way for your kids to visually be reminded. God is faithful.

Speaker 4

Yes.

Speaker 2

He's with us.

Speaker 3

Maybe we need to bring your memorial out of the backyard into the house. She's got one in the backyard.

Speaker 4

She mentioned that.

Speaker 2

I haven't heard very many people that have done this before either. So I was so intrigued that you guys are doing the same thing. My friend Michelle and I would fast and pray for our kids one day a week.

We ended up in my favorite woods by our house. I have a woods where I go, pray, and spend time with God. But on this day, Michelle was with me. I thought, let's write down our prayers and take these rocks as symbols of what we're praying for our kids.

So we planted these rocks with our kids. She has three girls, and we have three boys. I started going more and more often to that place, laying down these rocks and asking God for things. I would write them down too, but mine were outside, so they washed away. Even the permanent ones washed away. I like yours way better.

Can you remember a time when your kids' prayer was answered and they were excited?

Speaker 4

I don't agree with God necessarily on this answered prayer, but so we, we had 12 puppies. I don't know if you've ever bred.

Speaker 2

So it's like the tribe of Israel. All right, you had 12.

Speaker 4

So we had 12 puppies. I'll try to keep this short, but we had 12 puppies and we had mom and dad. So dad Pupp was our son, 19 years old. Now, Josh, his dog.

Well, of course, Bethany, who was like 10 at the time, wanted to keep one of the puppies. And we said, we cannot have another dog in this house, another big dog. So we said, as soon as Blue moves out, which was Josh's dog, we will buy you a puppy, but we cannot do it now.

And she helped so much with these puppies. So you keep praying about this. And so she wrote on a prayer rock: "Puppies."

And then, Josh moved out six months ago.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 4

So she didn't forget. And. And I'm like, Carrie, you know, is there. I will do anything. I will pay anything. Like, we do not need another dog, you know.

But God was faithful to Bethany. So we get a call one day. It's been a year since the puppies have been had, found new owners. This family had this dog, this puppy for a year and said, we can't keep it. Will you take it back?

And grudgingly, I was like, Bethany, God answered your prayer.

Speaker 3

There it is.

Speaker 4

Now we have two dogs.

Speaker 2

Oh, my goodness. What about when prayers aren't answered the way you want?

Like, we both shared some stories that, like, look what God did. And a lot of our listeners are thinking, I prayed for years and God didn't answer it the way I wanted.

What do you do with that with your kids and family?

Speaker 1

Well, we've had deaths, you know, amongst friends and family members. And we were praying for healing. And then, you know, we do. We put it in the answer prayer because they are healed, you know, they're with the Lord. And so we talked to our kids about that.

My sister, her family had a horrible loss of their daughter, my niece, and even my sister, who obviously every single day hurts, you know, as a result of it. She's even said, I can see how God has worked good from this. And my faith is so much stronger. My husband's faith is so much stronger. Every day is more meaningful as a result of what happened and the loss that they had.

And so we talk about those things so that the kids can see. Yes, it's tragic, it's horrible. But there is good. There's always fruit and growth.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 4

God always answers, yes, no, maybe not yet. You know, can we trust God? You know, in the midst of not answering the prayers, we think he should answer the way we think he should.

Speaker 3

I mean, maybe you've already answered this, but as a youth pastor and, more importantly, as parents, because every Christian parent is asking the same question.

How do I help my little boys and girls as they move through the middle school and then teenage years, adult years? How do I help them walk with God?

You said it already. Do you think it is praying? Of all the things, if somebody said, I need three, what are the top three?

Speaker 4

We've already talked about praying together. I really think praying together and seeing God at work, experiencing God at home, and not just hearing about the answered prayers from church and other places.

I think doing devotions together is also important. I remember when our kids were 4, 6, 8, and 10. They were crawling all over me, sitting on my lap, and one was behind me on the couch. We tried every morning, before I went to ministry, to do ministry in my own home and read a Bible story. We were very consistent with that.

So, I mean, those are two of the most important things.

Speaker 1

So the word and prayer, I would say, like, you know, faith without works is dead.

And so I think getting into service and being in a body in the church and serving there and also whatever gifts or talents that you have, using them for God's glory.

And so like our 12-year-old, the spoiled one, she's an aerialist and so she does like aerial.

Speaker 2

I have a niece that's doing that really cool.

Speaker 1

Yeah, like the Cirque du Soleil stuff. And so I'm like, I'm fine with doing this. I have to drive back and forth to the gym all the time and that kind of thing. I go, but we're doing it for God's glory.

She takes it on the road and we go to like assisted living places. We bring a portable one and we share the gospel. She does it to worship music and she plays the violin and all that kind of stuff too. But we do really, they should get together.

Speaker 2

It's a good idea to go to an assisted living because she's using her.

Speaker 1

Gift to serve and we hand out tracts. The kids color, you know. But I take my homeschool co-op; there's like nine or ten kids in the group right now. I teach the kids, "Whatever you do, do it for God's glory." Because God wants to use your time, your effort, everything to share His word.

And you can do it creatively; it doesn't have to be just from a pulpit or whatever that we're sharing the love of Christ. These people love it, and they love having these kids come.

Afterwards, I send the kids out amongst the residents, and they share the little tracts that they colored. They talk to them, pray for them, and hug them.

Speaker 2

That's really cool.

Speaker 1

I love it.

Speaker 2

It's getting their eyes off of themselves.

Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 3

I mean, in some ways it's what we model more than what we say. And everything you just said, you're not like, I got to do this. So my kids walk with God. It's your life, it's what you're doing personally and as a couple with God.

And it isn't like I have to find a Devo to. It's coming out of my own walk. Right. It's an overflow. And kids smell that. They know if this is.

Oh, they talked about this at church Sunday. And now dad is leading us in a thing. It's like, no, this is who he is. This is who she is. This is an overflow of their own walk with God spilling over into the family room.

Speaker 4

Yeah, well, that's why the scripture, the command is, love God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind, then impress these on your children.

Speaker 2

Right, exactly. It's on us first. We used to call it car time, table time and bedtime.

Speaker 1

Oh, that's cute.

Speaker 2

Because they're just natural places to be talking about God during the day and as we go about our day. Yeah.

Speaker 1

And we don't have to be perfect. We just have to show up spiritually for our kids. I get a lot of one-on-one time with Bethany, which is fun. I mess up a lot in front of her, and I think it's been great because I get a chance to repent and to tell her I'm sorry.

You know, mom didn't mean to say that. Do that. You know, I shouldn't have gotten upset about that. You know, will you forgive me? And you know, the neat thing is, she's one of the most, you know, quickest to repent kids. She'll be like, "Oh, I'm really sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to do that."

I think that me admitting my faults and bringing them out on the table where everybody can see them, like with the repent on the prayer rocks, helps kids to see we need a savior and we're not perfect. Yeah. And it's okay.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah. When you were saying that, I was thinking she's just doing what she's seen. You know, faith is caught, not taught. You have. She's catching it.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

It is your life.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

You know, some of us thinking, you know, how old's your oldest? 25.

Speaker 1

25.

Speaker 3

And that's the one that's married?

Speaker 1

No, the 23 year old.

Speaker 3

She'd bring him next year on the cruise. On a love like you mean it cruise.

Speaker 1

We talked to him about it.

Speaker 3

Yeah. I mean, a lot of. We met a lot of, you know, families on the cruise. They brought their kids or no kids. Some of them paid for them. Said, you're coming on this cruise because it's as good as a weekend to remember, only it's longer.

And like we said earlier, so again, I'm just plugging the cruise. If you guys want to sign up, go to familylifetoday.com. We'll get you signed up.

Speaker 4

Yeah. And seven days feels like a lot. I'm like, what are we going to do for seven days?

Speaker 2

And then it's gone.

Speaker 4

Yeah. Sixth day, we're like, oh, we have to leave.

Speaker 3

It's over already.

Speaker 2

I know you guys, this has been really good and helpful.

Speaker 3

Yeah. You're gonna help a lot of families.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Thank you.

Speaker 3

You should start a hobby. Lobby, rock cylinder.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Because I'm not. I'm not kidding, Ann. I don't know. We haven't talked. I'm literally listening to you thinking I was going in through my house. Where do we put this?

Speaker 1

Good.

Speaker 3

And I think near the front door, maybe in our favorite. I don't know. It's like, you want somewhere, you go.

Speaker 2

Buy it a lot.

Speaker 4

Right. And you want other people to see it and you want all the kids, obviously, to see it.

Speaker 3

We're done with the woods thing. Well, we'll have that too. But we need the house thing. It needs to be in the center of the house.

Speaker 2

I like it.

Speaker 1

I like it, too.

Speaker 3

Yeah. I think a lot of families might.

Speaker 2

Copy what you're doing as a listener or a viewer. If you have any good ideas, like, some of you are probably crafty, send a picture to us and we can post those somewhere. That'd be fun.

Speaker 3

We might just copy you. Thanks, guys.

Speaker 1

Thank you.

Speaker 4

You're welcome.

Speaker 2

Family life today is a donor supported production of family life, a crew ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most.