Insight for Living

Chuck Swindoll: The first of the queen-like qualities I want to emphasize is what I find in Esther: a grace-filled charm and elegance. Here was a woman of great grace. Though she came to the harem somewhat reluctantly, she did not come with a sour attitude. I'm convinced she sensed God's hand in it.

Bill Meyer: As a woman of strength and dignity, Esther has become a model for the ages. And rightfully so. She not only demonstrated integrity, but her courage would alter history forever.

Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll continues his study of her life story. Chuck set the scene yesterday. Esther is in her late teens, perhaps early twenties, when we find her in the powder room of the palace. She's there with other contestants who are putting on their makeup for the Miss Persia pageant. With this imagery in mind, let's pick up in Esther chapter two.

Chuck Swindoll: The Bible is replete with examples of the significance and the strength and the power God has given the woman. Look at Proverbs 11:16, "A gracious woman attains honor. Violent men attain riches." Isn't that interesting? There is something about the grace and, as I shall say later, the charm of a woman that brings her a place of honor that we men would love to have but cannot attain.

Look at 12:4, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." She is the final jewel. She is the uppermost crown. She gives him a place of significance, personally and publicly. Look at 18:22, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." And 19:14, same book, next chapter, "House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." You have a wife who leads the family with good, reasonable sense that is in her realm of leadership. You have one who gives you prudent counsel. You have been given that person from the Lord. I wonder when the last time was you told her that, that she comes to you as His gift.

Best of all pieces of literature on the woman is chapter 31, Proverbs. It's the classic section, in my opinion, of anything I have ever read for upholding the dignity and honor of the woman. 31:10, "An excellent wife," the old version reads, "a virtuous woman who can find? Her worth is far above jewels." And then he begins after that opening to describe the worth of the woman. She has a husband who trusts in her, why, of course. He will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

And then it describes her diligence as she carries out her responsibility. Verse 21, she's not afraid of the snow for her household. She's prepared for it. Verse 25, my wife's favorite verse, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future." There is a strength of character and there is a sense of dignity about the godly woman that cannot be found even among godly men.

We're looking into the life of an Old Testament woman named Esther as we study this wonderful biography. I'd like to have you turn back to the second chapter. The land is Persia. The place is Susa, or as it's otherwise called, Shushan, the capital of Persia. The king is Ahasuerus, otherwise known as Xerxes. His wife Vashti has been demoted from the throne for reasons we'll not get back into, but we covered that last time. She is a forgotten soul, never to be mentioned again.

He comes back from war and he's lonely and in need of the affection and care and enjoyment and pleasure of a wife. His counselors say, "Here is a unique way to do it. Let's find every possible available beautiful young woman in the kingdom, in all the provinces, and let's bring her here and let you take your choice. And she will become the queen."

Notice in reading chapter two of Esther, verse three, the development of the story. "Let the king appoint overseers in all the provinces of his kingdom, that they may gather every beautiful young virgin to Susa the capital, to the harem into the custody of Hegai, the king's eunuch, who was in charge of the women and let their cosmetics be given them." It's plain and simple, a beauty contest. And the women come from all the provinces. The plan was that the finalist would be given an opportunity literally to have an audience with the king. They would spend a night with the king. They would bring with them all their elegance and charm and seduction and beauty that they could possibly muster in a year's time. And he would make his choice once he had been with these women.

Out of the midst of all of this, Esther comes on the scene. Now you might think, as you hear the story with the basis being perhaps the Rose Bowl Queen we're familiar with or Miss America or Mrs. America, you might think women from all over the kingdom clamored for an opportunity to be a part. I rather suspect they did, except for one.

Look at verse five. "There was a Jew in Susa the capital whose name was Mordecai." Verse seven, "And he was bringing up Hadassah." That's a Jewish word that means myrtle, as in the plant. "That is Esther." That's a Persian name meaning star, as in the star of the heavens. She was given that name later in her adult life. "He was bringing up Esther, his uncle's daughter, for she had neither father nor mother. Now the young lady was beautiful of form and face, and when her father and her mother died, Mordecai took her as his own daughter."

What you don't read, but you have to see between the lines, is that she is in the minority. She is living as a captive in a foreign land. Her home is Jerusalem, that is her people's home, the land of Palestine. And because of the turning and twisting of historical events, her people have been brought in exile to Persia. So she's living a life rather obscurely in the home of Mordecai. I'm sure it was a sheltered home, a monotheistic home, a home of great care and concern for character and for deep beauty.

On top of all this, she had a physical beauty that attracted people to her. Verse eight, "It came about when the command and decree of the king were heard and many young ladies were gathered to Susa the capital into the custody of Hegai." Now read carefully. "That Esther was taken to the king's palace into the custody of Hegai, who was in charge of the women." I don't know if there was coercion. We're not told that she was forced to go, but I think it would be fair to say there was reluctance.

I mean, just stop and think. Why would a young Jewish woman want to get involved in a plan that would involve time with a heathen king and the possibility of intermarriage outside her race? Why would Mordecai ever give his permission for such? Now, I think it's safe to say she went reluctantly. And by the way, isn't it refreshing to find a little reluctance in a beautiful woman?

Isn't it a delight to come across a young woman who has been beautiful, especially so in her growing up years, so that when she comes to full bloom, we say, in her young adult years, that she's still surprised that you find her attractive? Isn't it delightful to observe true beauty which carries with it a modesty and a reluctance to compete for honors physically? I see that in Esther and I'm impressed by it.

I mean, it doesn't take much imagination to realize that there was a competitive spirit in the harem. Harems are not places where great character is cultivated. Can you imagine the scene of dozens of finalists as they make their way to this harem to have their place in the sun? Can you imagine how tough it would be to maintain your spiritual equilibrium when everything in the scene around you is emphasizing the physical beauty of your body and that of all the other women in the harem?

Before I read James Hastings' colorful comments about that very subject, let me read from the Scriptures. I want you to see Esther in true beauty. You'll love her all the more. Verse nine, "The young lady pleased him," that is Hegai, the one in whose custody she was placed. "The young lady pleased Hegai and found favor with him. So he," watch closely, "quickly." Watch the verbs. "He quickly provided her with her cosmetics and food, gave her seven choice maids from the king's palace, transferred her and her maids to the best place in the harem."

I'll tell you, you've heard the old song, whatever Lola wants, Lola gets. Believe me, whatever Esther wanted, Esther could get because she not only won the favor of those who found her, discovered her, she has now won the favor of Hegai, who is the key to getting into the king's palace. And he says, "Whatever you want, you can have." Think of that. But none of it goes to her head.

James Hastings, an old writer who does a great work on this biography, writes these things. "The beauty of Esther's character is this, she was not spoiled by her great elevation. A weaker person would have been dizzy with selfish elation. The orphan girl who had grown up into beauty under the care of Mordecai was suddenly lifted from sheltered obscurity into the fierce light that beats upon a throne. The splendor of her career is seen in this very fact, that she does not succumb to the luxury of her surroundings.

"The royal harem among the lily beds of Shushan is like a palace in the land of the lotus eaters, where it is always afternoon. And its inmates in their dreamy indolence are tempted to forget all obligations and interest in securing every comfort wealth can lavish upon them."

Of course. Hastings calls this scene of the harem a hothouse of narcotics. I mean, this is the place to get high on seduction, cultivating the ability to put your charm to use to get what you want, namely the highest office a woman could hold in the kingdom. Turn it on! And here's how. Available to this woman was all the jewelry, all the perfume, all the cosmetics, all the clothing that would be needed to make her physically attractive to the lonely king.

Now, what we are about to read in the verses that follow, 9 through 17, are what I want to suggest are six queen-like character traits, not limited to Esther but available even in our generation. I want to say something rather candidly that I hadn't planned to say, but I think it perhaps will add emphasis to these qualities. These are the kind of things, dads, that are to be passed on to daughters. And it is never too late.

Last evening I realized at the end of my study that I hadn't talked to one of our daughters about this particular subject, and so Colleen and I planned supper together. And while we were eating, I had typed up the list that I'm going to share with you today. And I slid it across the table at the little restaurant where we were and I said, "Honey, I want you to read these things." And in the note, I suggested that she spend the next two weeks committing them to memory.

Here is a beautiful twenty-two year-old woman who has available to her what any other young woman in Southern California has available to her. In my daughter's case, she also happens to have a father, as I'm sure in your daughter's case, who wants only the best for her. And lest she become streetwise in knowing how to use her body to get what she wants, I much prefer that she use these character qualities to get what God wants for her.

Without trying to sound overpious, you know me better than that, I hope. We embraced and with some tears we said goodbye, and I left her with this little envelope I want her to read. It's with the same sense of care that I share these things with you today because I personally believe they are as needed as ever, perhaps more so in our seductive environment in the latter part of the twentieth century. So if I may have the ladies' attention for a while, and I'm sure when I say that, there isn't a man that won't be listening in, I'd like to say some things for you. And having said what I've said regarding my position on your worth and your significance, I hope you are free of any defensiveness because I have only your good at heart.

I'd love to know that out of this message come numerous godly lives on the part of our women. And it is never too late to do what is right, no matter what your background may be. Let me give them to you in a fashion simply that will seem rather pedantic, but it'll help get the point across. You may want to make notes of them.

Number one: a grace-filled charm and elegance. Verse nine. The first of the queen-like qualities I want to emphasize is what I find in Esther: a grace-filled charm and elegance. Will you observe again verse nine, the young lady pleased him and found favor with him. The original says, get this, she lifted up grace before his face. Beautiful expression. Here was a woman of great grace. Though she came to the harem somewhat reluctantly, she did not come with a sour attitude.

I'm convinced she sensed God's hand in it. Why else would she have been there? God has a right to bend whatever rules and to shape whatever size He wishes history to fall into. And she found herself unable to say no. She was commanded to go. And so she came and lifted up grace before the face of Hegai. So gracious was she that he, notice again verse nine, quickly provided her with all that she needed and then some. Talk about being pampered and indulged. There was every emphasis you could imagine on the cultivating the alluring, on the sensual techniques of lovemaking, of winning the heart of a lonely king. How charming this woman was. She lifted up grace before the face of this man.

Second, will you note an unusual restraint and control. Another queen-like quality of this woman, an unusual restraint and control. Verse 10, "Esther did not make known her people or her kindred." In other words, she told no one she was Jewish. Why? Because Mordecai had instructed her that she should not make them known. None of the heady Himalayan heights of the harem caused her to break her covenant with Mordecai.

Ladies, let me say that God has given you an air of mystery. He's not given men the same. We are a pretty predictable bunch. Women, how often I have heard your husband say, "I just don't know how to figure her out. I just don't understand." For example, the woman will say, "What I need is a good cry." My friend, in all of my life, I have never known a good cry. My wife knows them. Your wife knows them. Your daughter knows them. How after a cry one feels better, I am still trying to figure out.

Here's my whole point. There is an air of mystery about you, an unpredictability that we find intriguing. Your ability to restrain yourself only heightens the mystery, especially as it relates to verbal restraint. It is interesting that Esther knew more than she told. Esther kept secret many things she never shared. Ladies, you're not alone in this, but you know if it is your weakness, verbal restraint can easily become a forgotten virtue. In other words, don't talk so much.

And you will discover that there will be about you an unusual restraint and control that will work in your favor, not against you. Learn to keep secrets. Learn to keep confidences, especially the secrets of your husband. And if you are not married, the secrets of your friends. I suppose I don't appreciate anything more in a woman than I do the ability to keep a secret. Keep the confidences that are placed on you. An unusual restraint and control, it's a queen-like character.

Number three: a continual teachable spirit. Verse 10 and verse 20. Listen to the words at the end of verse 10, "Mordecai had instructed her she should not make them known." Verse 20, "Esther had not yet made known her kindred or her people." She's now the queen by the time we get to verse 20, "even as Mordecai had commanded her." She is still teachable. Even becoming a finalist didn't cause her to flaunt her independence. Or becoming the queen. Isn't it lovely to come across great, dignified, well-traveled, wise women who still listen and are still willing to learn from whomever?

Some of you are wonderfully gifted teachers. You have the ability to stand before a group and to open the Scriptures or to open the subject of your field and hold an audience in rapt attention. Others of you have distinguished yourself in public service. You have served some prestigious roles and offices in the community. A few of you are well-traveled and you have sat in exclusive circles and you could drop the names of powerful men and women who know you personally. May I ask, has that changed your teachability? Do you now see yourself as the consummate authority, or has it simply made you aware of how vast your ignorance really is?

I hope the latter. Someone has said education is going from an unconscious to conscious awareness of one's ignorance. I think that's true. You have no corner on wisdom. All the name dropping in the world does not heighten the significance of your character, if anything it reduces it. Your need now more than ever, acute need, is to learn and to be teachable. Learning from your children, learning from friends, learning even from your enemies. How beautiful it is to find a teachable spirit in a significant woman.

Number four: an unselfish modesty and authenticity. This woman cannot be more than 20, 25 years old. This is a chance of a lifetime for her to have whatever she wishes, and she simply stands on her own character and the advice of the man who knew what seemed to be best. There's a real unselfish modesty, a withdrawal from extravagance and authenticity.

Bill Meyer: In a palace overflowing with extravagance, Esther stood apart. Not by demanding attention, but by quietly being herself. No grasping, no posturing, no leveraging her moment for personal gain. Just genuine character gracefully expressed.

Today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll has reminded us that authentic dignity is far more compelling than calculated ambition. And in today's world that rewards self-promotion, that's a counter-cultural truth worth holding onto and passing along.

Did you know that Chuck wrote a full-length biography of Esther? It's twelve chapters long and follows the biblical account in vivid detail. Here's something that stops most readers cold: God doesn't appear in the book of Esther. Not once. Yet His fingerprints are on every page. Chuck calls it one of the most breathtaking demonstrations of divine providence in all of Scripture. God didn't speak from a burning bush in Esther's story. He worked through a king's sleepless night, a beauty contest, an overlooked act of loyalty, and one woman's willingness to risk everything. If you've ever felt like God was silent in your own story, Esther's life will change how you see that silence forever.

To purchase a copy of Chuck's book on Esther, call us at 800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/offer. Insight for Living is supported in part by monthly automated gifts from our monthly companions. If you're one of those, we couldn't provide Chuck's teaching without you. And if you'd like to take that step today and join this family of loyal supporters, we'll say thank you for your first gift by providing chapter five from Chuck's book on Esther. Chapter five is titled "Thinking and Saying What's Right Regardless," and it features one of the most dramatic encounters in Esther's life story. Becoming a monthly companion is simple, and the compounding effect on your monthly gifts is dramatic. To become a monthly companion right now, call us at 800-772-8888 or go to insight.org/monthlycompanion.

I'm Bill Meyer. Join us when Chuck Swindoll continues this fascinating study on the life of Esther, Thursday on Insight for Living.

The preceding message, "Strength and Dignity on Parade," was copyrighted in 1989, 1990, 1997, 2005, 2008, 2018, and 2026, and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2026 by Charles R. Swindoll, Incorporated. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited.