The Boundless Show

Lisa Anderson

Your Dating Life on Social Media: Episode 760

August 25, 2022

Sharing your relationship on social media, plus responding to life’s “almosts,” and should a Christian remember the exact day of their salvation?


Featured musical artist: Phil Wickham


Roundtable: What Relationship Stuff Should You Post on Social?


You’re scrolling through social media when you see it — your friend is “in a relationship.” Now what? Is there an accepted etiquette for what, how and when you post information about your relationship online? Should a status be enough? What about photos, personal messages, and what some may consider TMI? Our guests this week have walked through this experience multiple times, and they break down the pros and cons of social media sharing about your significant other, including all the feels.


Culture: Trusting God in the “Almosts” of Life


You thought you were going to marry her, but she broke up with you. You were the perfect candidate for the job, but the company chose someone else. We’ve all faced the disappointment of getting close to something we want only to come up short. Jordan Lee Dooley joins us to explain how these opportunities, while painful, are the perfect time to trust God, grow as individuals, and see what better opportunities may come. Sometimes God uses “almosts” to steer us toward the “for sures” that we can’t yet see.


Get the Book: Embrace Your Almost: Find Clarity and Contentment in the In-Betweens, Not-Quites, and Unknowns


Inbox: Should I Remember When I Got Saved? 


Some churches teach that to truly be a Christian, you must remember the exact day you were saved. But is this biblical? And even if you do remember a certain day, how do you know if your profession of faith was real? Pastor Mark Bates weighs in.

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Archives

Trusting God in a waiting season, plus pursuing sexual purity with godly motives, and handling conflict well in dating.Featured musical artist: Je’kob ( https://www.facebook.com/iamjekob )Roundtable: When God Tells You to WaitWhat does it look like to trust God’s plan in a season of waiting? Our guests discuss times they’ve waited on God in their careers, relationships and faith journeys — even when doing so was hard. They’ll also address how to balance trusting God with taking action toward something you want.Culture: Lessons From Purity CulturePurity culture has gotten a bad rap — some of it for good reason. But don’t throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water. Purity culture placed a high value on God’s design for sexuality and its place within marriage. That said, pastor and author Dean Inserra acknowledges the movement’s shortcomings. While we should always prioritize sexual integrity, he reminds us that obedience around our sexuality shouldn’t become an idol in our efforts to serve God. Dean reframes the conversation around God’s truth and grace, allowing us to submit our sexuality to God for His glory and our good.Pure: Why the Bible’s Plan for Sexuality Isn’t Outdated, Irrelevant, or Oppressive Get the book "Pure: Why the Bible’s Plan for Sexuality Isn’t Outdated, Irrelevant, or Oppressive" for your donation of any amount: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-08-18?refcd=1454007Inbox: Different Ways to Handle Conflict She and her boyfriend are wondering: Is there a difference between compromising, yielding, and resolving conflict? Counselor M.T. Wilson breaks down different ways to handle conflict, and explains how you can determine if you’re applying it effectively in dating.
August 18, 2022
Having good boundaries while engaged, plus overcoming an eating disorder, and when to try to repair a damaged friendship.Featured musical artist: Darlene Zschech ( https://www.darlenezschech.com/ ) Roundtable: Boundaries Leading up to Marriage (Part 2)The temptation to blur lines and push physical, emotional and relational boundaries is often stronger during engagement than other phases of dating. It’s also tricky to navigate compromise and common ground in the areas of finances, family and more. We brought in marriage mentors Roger and Diane Ingolia to shed light on appropriate boundaries to set for yourselves and others during the critical pre-marriage season. You’ll also hear from newlyweds Gabriel and Hannah Nymeyer on how they tackled these challenges while engaged. In part two, the couples address the importance of healthy physical boundaries.Culture: Beating an Eating DisorderMany young adults live with an eating disorder. Because the struggle is rooted in shame, most suffer in silence, even denying that there’s a problem. Grace McCready shares her own journey with an eating disorder — something she still fights every day. She’ll address the lies Satan uses to trap us, how she wrestled with body image and wrong thinking, and ways that counseling and community provide much-needed hope.Link to Counseling Services: https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/?refcd=1060202Get the book "Real Recovery" for your donation of any amount: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-08-11?refcd=1454205Inbox: Should I Reconnect With a Friend Who Hurt Me? She was friends with a woman a number of years ago. While things weren’t always stable in their friendship, a bridge was burned when the friend made a very hurtful comment. Now, our listener is questioning if it’s best to reconcile or move on. Counselor Jenny Coffey weighs in.
August 11, 2022
Having good boundaries while engaged, plus important info before you get married, and is it OK to work alone with coworkers of the opposite sex?Featured musical artist: Jeremy Rosado ( https://www.instagram.com/iamjeremyrosado/?hl=en )Roundtable: Boundaries Leading up to Marriage (Part 1)The temptation to blur lines and push physical, emotional and relational boundaries is often stronger during engagement than other phases of dating. It’s also tricky to navigate compromise and common ground in the areas of finances, family and more. We brought in marriage mentors Roger and Diane Ingolia to shed light on appropriate boundaries to set for yourselves and others during the critical pre-marriage season. You’ll also hear from newlyweds Gabriel and Hannah Nymeyer on how they tackled these challenges while engaged. In part one, the couples address family dynamics and finances.Culture: Things to Know Before Getting MarriedThere are many cultural lies circulating around marriage, most making marriage out to be either a drudgery or a fairy tale. A good marriage takes work, intention, an open heart and a sense of fun. Dana Che, host of “Real Relationship Talk,” joins us to discuss a few things she wished she had known before walking the aisle. Whether you’re newly married or someday hope to be, this is a must listen.Link to RealRelationshipTalk.com ( https://realrelationshiptalk.com/ )Link to Real Relationship Talk Podcast ( https://realrelationshiptalk.com/podcast/ ) Inbox: Should I Work Alone With Someone of the Opposite Sex? She works as an EMT where her job requires her to be alone with male colleagues for long periods of time. Some of her Christian friends have cautioned against this, but didn’t support their opinions with Scripture. In this type of situation, what is necessary and wise? Counselor Jenny Coffey weighs in.
August 4, 2022
Launching into adulthood, plus Todd Friel on how to know if you’re a true Christian, and the pressure to use preferred pronouns.Featured musical artist: Daniel Bashta ( https://www.danielbashta.com/welcome ) Roundtable: Welcome to AdulthoodDo you feel like everyone else is independent: paying their bills, doing their taxes, making decisions and just generally “adulting”? It’s easy to feel left behind or experience anxiety around the many changes you must navigate in this season. Some of it is “life stuff” like the above. Some of it is relational — learning how to let go of your parents, make friends and find community. Our guests share the ups and downs of their own adulthood journeys and give encouragement for making the transition a smooth and (mostly) successful one. Culture: A Question of SalvationNews flash: Just because you walked an aisle or prayed a prayer doesn’t mean you’re saved. So what does? All of us have questioned our salvation at one time or another, so can we really be sure? Evangelist and apologist Todd Friel shows how the prosperity gospel, “get out of hell free” gospel, churchgoer gospel and other false gospels lull people into complacency, yet Scripture itself is clear on what it means to be saved. Get ready for an insightful and empowering conversation on what matters most when it comes to salvation and eternity. Link to Wretched.org: https://wretched.org/Link to Todd's "Ten Point Test to See if You Are Saved": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLIWG6JO6NMInbox: Should Christians Use Preferred Pronouns?As a Christian, is it lying or loving to address someone with their preferred pronouns — even if they don’t align with their biological sex? When asked to declare pronouns at work, school or on social media, how should we respond? Family and gender analyst Jeff Johnston weighs in.
July 28, 2022
Qualities of a humble spouse, plus dating someone who confesses a sin pattern, and how to respond when your friend has a porn problem.Featured musical artist: Kerrie Roberts ( https://kerrieroberts.com/ )Roundtable: The Humble SpouseHumility is to relationships what gasoline is to cars; without it, a relationship can’t move forward. In marriage, humility is especially important since spouses are in covenant together as one flesh. Our guests are honest about where they were on the humility scale going into marriage, and how they’ve learned to be more humble since. They’ll also give insights on how to spot humility in the people you date.Culture: Spotting a Sin Stronghold in DatingAll of us have hang-ups and sins we must address. But what do you do when the person you are dating confesses a serious sin pattern like alcoholism, drugs or porn? Is there a way to balance grace with truth, and at what point do you need to cut off the relationship? Christine Snyder tells her story of facing an unwanted divorce due to her husband’s addictions and unfaithfulness, while counselor Glenn Lutjens provides expert advice on when to pull the plug on a problematic dating relationship.Link to Counseling Services: ( https://www.focusonthefamily.com/get-help/counseling-services-and-referrals/?refcd=1060202 ) Inbox: Does Everyone Have a Porn Problem?She’s known more than a few friends in her Christian community who’ve confessed a problem with pornography. She’s frustrated that porn seems to be “winning” in the hearts and minds of those around her, and doesn't know what to do. When the next friend confesses, what should be her response? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.
July 21, 2022
How women experience safety with men, plus leaving an abusive relationship, and navigating political differences in dating. Featured musical artist: David Dunn ( http://www.daviddunnmusic.com/ ) Roundtable: How Women Experience Relational Safety For women, safety is very important. Not just physical safety, but emotional, spiritual and relational safety. But what does this look like in everyday life? This week’s guests share what makes them feel safe when they interact with guys. They’ll also discuss how they feel when a man isn’t a safe person, and some cues for discerning the difference. Get the book "Do Hard Things": https://store.focusonthefamily.com/do-hard-things/ Culture: Leaving an Abusive Relationship Sadly, many people face the reality of an abusive relationship. Some are in toxic situations and don’t even know it. What are the signs, and is there a way and a time to get out? Counselors Glenn Lutjens and Jenny Coffey offer hope to those suffering abuse, whether manipulation, gaslighting, physical, emotional or spiritual. In this conversation they define the difference between an abuser and an everyday jerk, what to do in an abusive situation, and how you can support a friend who’s currently being abused. Inbox: When Dating and Politics Don’t Mix He’s dating a girl, and they’re both serious about their faith. But he’s curious if it’s important for them to agree on political and social issues that aren’t explicitly addressed in Scripture. How should they talk about it, if indeed they have a disagreement? Counselor Geremy Keeton weighs in.
July 14, 2022
Advice for marrying in your 30s, plus part two of a dating Q&A with Jonathan Pokluda, and maximizing your engagement season. Featured musical artist: Nathan Tasker ( http://www.nathantasker.com/ ) Roundtable: Marriage Challenges For 30-Somethings Marrying in your 30s gives you the benefits of a little more life experience, stability and (hopefully) maturity. But it also comes with unique challenges. You’ve become more settled in your ways, you’ve accumulated some baggage, and you’re maybe a bit more cynical. Nate and Melinda recently married in their 30s and did the hard work of addressing some of their individual issues before tying the knot. Dr. Trent Langhofer counseled them individually as well as together to help give their marriage the healthiest start possible. All three join us this week to share their journey. Culture: Dating Q&A With Jonathan Pokluda (Part 2) After years of working with young adults, Pastor Jonathan (JP) Pokluda has fielded just about every dating question you could imagine. He joins us to answer even more, and this time they’re your questions — asked by live audience members and submitted on social media. In part two this week, JP answers questions about reaching the commitment stage of a relationship, how to know if a guy is truly interested in you, and the worst dating advice he’s ever heard. Get the book: "Outdated" for your donation of any amount:: https://donate.focusonthefamily.com/don-boundless-2022-06-30?refcd=1436602 Inbox: Making the Most of Engagement She’s recently engaged and is wondering how to maximize this season. What are the best ways to prepare for marriage? What should she and her fiance keep in mind? Besides doing premarital counseling, should they read a book, set some goals, focus on certain conversations — or all of the above? Counselor Glenn Lutjens weighs in. Get the book: "How We Love": https://store.focusonthefamily.com/how-we-love/?refcd=1436602
July 7, 2022
Managing Money Despite Inflation: Episode 752 Featured musical artist: Aaron Shust ( https://www.aaronshust.com/ ) Tips for fighting inflation, plus part one of a dating Q&A with Jonathan Pokluda, and having boundaries with opposite-sex friends. Roundtable: Don’t Let Inflation Get You Down Inflation is hitting all of our wallets. From higher gas prices to the cost of groceries and travel, it seems like everything is getting more expensive. How do we cope? We share money-saving tips, corners we’re cutting, and investment opportunities we’re exploring for the future. We also admit what we’re not willing to let go. Join us for this fun yet practical conversation! Culture: Dating Q&A With Jonathan Pokluda (Part 1) After years of working with young adults, Pastor Jonathan (JP) Pokluda has fielded just about every dating question you could imagine. He joins us to answer even more, and this time they’re your questions — asked by live audience members and submitted on social media. In part one this week, JP tackles questions about crushing on a coworker, not having time to date, and how to handle it when someone doesn’t text you back. Inbox: Boundaries With Opposite-Sex Friends While having friends of the opposite gender is great, it’s important to have good boundaries to avoid confusion, false intimacy, and the dreaded “friendlationship.” The question is, which boundaries are recommended? Counselor Jenny Coffey weighs in.
June 30, 2022
Insider tips to express romantic interest, plus evangelism for everyday people, and when you struggle to make friends at church.
June 23, 2022
Letting go of what others think of you, plus Nick Hall’s modern vision for evangelism, and is it too early to define the relationship? Featured musical artist: Danen Kane ( https://danenkane.com/home ) Roundtable: Don’t Be a Slave to Others’ Opinions We’ve all been guilty of walking into a room and immediately wondering what everyone thinks of us. But truth be told, most people aren’t thinking about us — they’re thinking about themselves. How can we live confidently without constantly worrying about others’ good opinion? Our guests share their own struggles in this area and give helpful ways to be aware of how we are viewed by others without being ruled by it. Culture: An Evangelism Woodstock In 1972, a massive event called Explo ‘72 took place in Dallas, Texas. Thousands of young adults gathered from all over the country and were inspired and equipped to take the gospel of Jesus Christ into their communities and around the world. On this year’s 50th anniversary of Explo ‘72, evangelist Nick Hall is hosting a 21st-century version of that historic gathering. Called Together ‘22, this free event will take place at Cotton Bowl stadium in Dallas on June 24-25. Nick joins us to talk about how sharing the gospel in 2022 is both similar to and different from how it was done 50 years ago. What are the unique challenges and opportunities he sees today? Join us for this exciting conversation and details on this once-in-a-lifetime event. Sign up for Together ‘22 ( https://together22.pulse.org/ ) Inbox: Defining the Relationship Already? She’s been going on dates with the same guy for eight weeks, but neither of them has defined their relationship. Is it time for her to say something, or should she wait for him to take initiative and speak up? Our host Lisa Anderson weighs in. Article: Whose Job Is It to Define the Relationship? ( https://www.boundless.org/blog/whose-job-is-it-to-define-the-relationship/ )
June 16, 2022
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About The Boundless Show

Boundless is a ministry of Focus on the Family that exists to see young adults mature in Christ as the foundation for marriage and family. Through our website, blog and weekly podcast, we help singles in their 20s and 30s navigate the path to marriage biblically and intentionally while providing sound resources and advice on key issues young adults face. We discuss everything from dating and relationships to faith, worldview, career and culture in a fun, engaging and relevant way. We’re also on Facebook (Boundless.org) and Twitter (BoundlessTeam).

The Boundless Show is a weekly podcast designed to build community among single young adults and provide a God-centered perspective on relationships, culture, career and faith. Hosted by Focus on the Family’s Lisa Anderson, The Boundless Show brings a voice to the interests and concerns of today’s 20- and 30-somethings.

About Lisa Anderson

Lisa Anderson is director of Boundless (www.boundless.org) and host of The Boundless Show — a weekly podcast reaching 20- and 30-somethings with the message of God’s design for marriage and family. The show also features practical tips for dating intentionally, owning your faith, navigating career and culture, and maturing in all areas of life.  

Lisa speaks frequently at churches, conferences and workshops, and her writing has been featured in newspapers, magazines, and in Streetwise and The Big Screen — two books in David C. Cook’s Custom Curriculum series.

When not challenging the next generation, she enjoys traveling, running, and quoting her mother, who is known to say outrageous things. She loves Jesus, people, ideas and guacamole, in that order.

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