One day while browsing through a neighborhood computer store, I caught the eye of a man in passing. Thinking nothing of it, I continued shopping. What I did not notice, was that he had paced himself so that he could complete his shopping at the same time I did and make his way to whatever checkout line I chose. While in line, he said hello and began to strike up small talk. Desiring not to be rude, I engaged him, but very cautiously. About a minute into the conversation, he asked me if I were married. Knowing well where he was leading, I quickly responded, yes. Referring to my marriage, he asked if I was “happily” married. My response was this, “what difference does it make?” I’m married.”

Ironically, at the time of running into this very handsome man, my husband and I had just had a fight and were going through a challenging and humiliating time in our marriage. Therefore, the meeting of the man was an opportune moment. Nobody would know if I decided to take him up on his flirtations, right? I could have used the potential of this moment to justify my right to retaliate against my husband for the anger I felt towards him. I could have used it to fill the obvious voids that result from a marriage in trouble. I could have yielded to just about any temptation that arises in a broken marriage and is stimulated out of the defrauding of one another. I did not reject this man's advances because I was somehow special or that I believed my husband deserved my loyalty. It was not because I do not have sexual desires. It was DEFINITELY not because I am a woman and that my sex drive somehow differs from a man; as I have never agreed with these theories that minimize the capability of men over women to exercise self control. Finally, it was not because I was somehow a super saint.

It was God’s grace and my response to it. His grace was sufficient for me in that moment. God’s strength was perfected in me in a time of weakness. Because of it, I was able to see beyond the presence of my temptations, my so-called rights and my justifications. I was keenly aware of what I stood to lose with God. This is key because in our times of temptations, Satan is hard at work trying to neutralize our ability to think soberly and unselfishly. Think about it. How often is the question, “What were you thinking?” asked of those who make choices that cause devastation to themselves and those they love?

I had to decide if it was worth it for me to break fellowship with God for a few moments of illicit pleasure? I am not only a minister and leader, I have a young daughter (now in her 20’s) who has learned more from the examples I set for her more than any speech I've made about life, salvation and self-respect.

As for the man, he was confident that this pickup line would work or he would not have used it in the first place. His persistence to pursue me after I told him I was married was an indicator of disrespect for me as a woman and the institution of marriage. Furthermore, he did not know me from a can of paint and although he presented himself to me at a vulnerable time as someone who was interested in loving and caring for me, in spite of the state of my marriage at that time, he was not AUTHORIZED to deliver on these promises. He was also incapable of delivering; as he was motivated SOLELY by selfishness and the lust of the eyes. Love, does not seek its own. 1Cor 13:5

Adultery happens to the best of us. But, no matter how we justify it, it is a sin of selfishness. The same is true for lust. I thank God for the ability He gives us to THINK soberly and to resist in times of temptation. If we embrace the truth and God’s grace during these times, He can empower us to refrain from making life decisions and excuses that hurt ourselves and/or others.

Perhaps you are reading this, and you are on the verge of considering Adultery. I know he or she is drop dead gorgeous and it feels so right. It always does when you are feeling vulnerable or lonely. You might even feel justified. You might see the opportunity for Adultery as a means of filling the hole that was carved out of your heart by a love disappointed. You should know that the only remedy for the need for fulfillment that we mistakenly seek to find in human beings, sex, etc. and the only remedy for mending a broken heart is time, truth and the healing virtue of God's love. All else will fail you and make matters so much worse. He will fill you if you trust him with the very hurt and desires of your heart. Check out these beautiful scriptures. They speak volumes regarding our desires for fulfillment and justice.

"The full soul loathes a honeycomb, but unto him who is EMPTY every bitter thing tastes sweet" Proverbs 27:7. "O taste and see, that the Lord is good" Psalms 34:8.

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