So why do you think it was not good for man to be alone?
We all have a need to be seen. To be valued and known. I can know myself and what I’m good at but if I’m not seen by anybody else I remain invisible. In my opinion, people who feel like they can walk through life without friends or a church home are deeply misguided. One way we know who we are is in how we’re reflected in the eyes of others. And in the way we reflect back what we see in those we love. We’re made for community and for family and should do our best to remain connected to both.
August 22, 2018
Because you each love someone the other loves.
When a parent marries in later life, many adult children do not see themselves as stepchildren or think of their parent’s new spouse as a “stepparent.” Technically both are true but practically the adult child doesn’t need another parent figure in their life. The answer: relationship. Now that’ll happen when both the adult stepchild and stepparent open themselves to being friendly. Gradually build your relationship. Because you each love someone the other loves, strive to love each other.
August 21, 2018
Is your family playing “game of thrones”?
We all have a kingdom and we try to conquer other kingdoms. Whether it’s a bully at school, a business, or social-political agendas, it’s pretty much a game of thrones. When Satan offered Jesus the kingdoms of the world in Luke 4 Jesus replied, “You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only shall you serve.” Your kingdom is what you worship. We play this at home, too. My agenda becomes my kingdom. How do we stop? Submit to God’s rule, set aside your kingdom, and the game of thrones dies.
August 20, 2018
“Ron, I’ve been a stepparent for fifteen years now. When is it going to happen?”
Stepparents say, “my kids,” when referring to their stepchildren so they sometimes wonder why kids struggle to use the term, “mom" or "dad” when referring to them. Well, kids are loyal to their parents and they don’t want to hurt their feelings. Reserving the “mom” or “dad” label for just one person keeps it special. Stepparents, just relax about this. Labels are not the issue. Your role in the life of each child is. And that rose, by any other name, does smell just as sweet.
August 17, 2018
My single dad friend asked me a great question: “Should I get married someday?”
As far as the kids are concerned, no one can really say whether single parents should or should not remarry. Research confirms that kids raised in single parent homes do just as well as kids raised in stepfamily homes, so you’ll have to balance your needs and theirs and trust God with your decision. And if you’re divorced, consider what scripture says about reconciliation. No one can predict what’s best for your family but we can predict that trusting God will lead you down the best road.
August 16, 2018
Did you see the SNL skit about stepmoms? No, you didn’t.
Saturday night live has some funny skits but thankfully they never aired their sketch My Little Stepchildren. It advertises the perfect doll for children who want to play the wicked stepmother. Some kids gut instinct is to go dark, the skit claims. Really? Look perpetuating negative stereotypes that harm family relationships is going dark. The Bible says, “Don’t let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”
August 15, 2018
One way we honor our father and mother is to care for them as they age.
Numerous studies report that far fewer adult stepchildren think it their obligation to care for a stepparent like they would a biological parent. So aging couples can’t assume adult children will be there for the stepparent—and parents and kids need to talk through their expectations of one another. Now, adult children here is a thought. You may not think of your stepparent as family but one way to honor your biological parent is to care for their spouse.
August 14, 2018
So, what is your stomach saying after missing a meal?
It's growling--feed me! Well, imagine you missed 120 meals. I think your stomach is screaming. After fasting for 40 days, Luke 4 tells us Jesus was hungry. What an understatement! So, the devil temped him with food. Jesus replied, “Man shall not live by bread alone.” Ok, lesson 1: Satan knows what we’re hungry for. Lesson 2: denying yourself what is temporary for what is eternal is always the right call. Strive to trust your vulnerabilities to the Bread of Life, the One who truly satisfies.
August 13, 2018
Let me ask you a question. Do you enjoy hanging out with people who are harsh, angry, and difficult to get along with? Yeah, me neither.
Veteran stepparents often give this advice--Round off your rough edges. If you’re a naturally angry, critical, quick-tempered, controlling, or stubborn person guess what? Don’t expect your stepchildren to warm up to you. Or your spouse to trust their kids with you either. I’m constantly amazed how some people think that just because they are an adult, they can treat a child poorly and still expect the child to like and honor them. No, round off your rough edges and be likeable.
August 10, 2018
Have you ever found yourself pushing away someone who means a lot to you? What’s that about?
When we feel insecure in a relationship we sometimes push the other person away so we don’t get hurt. One dad wrote to me, “I have a fear of trusting my new wife. So I push her away and at the same time I draw my kids closer.” In a blended family when one spouse draws close to their kids, to the detriment of their marriage, we have a big problem. So, what should this guy do? He should ask God for help to find out what he’s afraid of and start loving in spite of the risk with his whole heart.
August 9, 2018