Deny Your Hunger (Luke 4)
August 13, 2018
00:00
So, what is your stomach saying after missing a meal?
It's growling--feed me! Well, imagine you missed 120 meals. I think your stomach is screaming. After fasting for 40 days, Luke 4 tells us Jesus was hungry. What an understatement! So, the devil temped him with food. Jesus replied, “Man shall not live by bread alone.” Ok, lesson 1: Satan knows what we’re hungry for. Lesson 2: denying yourself what is temporary for what is eternal is always the right call. Strive to trust your vulnerabilities to the Bread of Life, the One who truly satisfies.
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Let me ask you a question. Do you enjoy hanging out with people who are harsh, angry, and difficult to get along with? Yeah, me neither.
Veteran stepparents often give this advice--Round off your rough edges. If you’re a naturally angry, critical, quick-tempered, controlling, or stubborn person guess what? Don’t expect your stepchildren to warm up to you. Or your spouse to trust their kids with you either. I’m constantly amazed how some people think that just because they are an adult, they can treat a child poorly and still expect the child to like and honor them. No, round off your rough edges and be likeable.
August 10, 2018
Have you ever found yourself pushing away someone who means a lot to you? What’s that about?
When we feel insecure in a relationship we sometimes push the other person away so we don’t get hurt. One dad wrote to me, “I have a fear of trusting my new wife. So I push her away and at the same time I draw my kids closer.” In a blended family when one spouse draws close to their kids, to the detriment of their marriage, we have a big problem. So, what should this guy do? He should ask God for help to find out what he’s afraid of and start loving in spite of the risk with his whole heart.
August 9, 2018
Public embarrassment and humiliation, is not a good form of punishment.
When Kelsey turned 13 she and her mother celebrated by getting highlights in her shoulder-length hair. But later her dad and stepmom chopped off Kelsey’s hair for getting the highlights. We don’t know why. The pictures and Kelsey’s humiliation sparked outrage online. Okay, I don’t know every side to this story, but what I do know is that a child was hurt in the crossfire of former spouses. Please don’t do that to your kids. And somebody, please give the Kelsey’s of the world a hug.
August 8, 2018
Blended families…this is us.
Occasionally I get a look from a pastor or church leader like, “Why should we need to start a stepfamily ministry? Well, listen to these stats. The “Sandwich generation” couples—they have at least one parent still living and children of their own--now, for the first time, over half have either a stepparent or stepchild relationship--52%. And for sandwich couples under 55 the rate goes up to 62%. Increasingly blended families are going to be the norm of the future. Blended families, this is us.
August 7, 2018
Why can’t I see about me, what others see?
Humans have an uncanny ability to justify their own behavior. Have you noticed that in others? Of course, not in yourself. Proverbs 30 tell us that the adulteress eats, wipes her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.” What allows her—and us—to do this is a lack of humility. Humility readies our heart to be convicted by the Holy Spirit and without it, we can justify anything. Why not spend 10 seconds asking God to give you a humble heart. Then see about yourself what you previously couldn’t see.
August 6, 2018
Hey, in your opinion, what fast-food restaurant has the best customer service?
Customer service varies. In one restaurant, they smile and eagerly serve, while the next one does the opposite. Proverbs 11 suggests, “A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.” Simple kindness goes a long way whether we’re talking customer service or relationships. Try this experiment. For the next 24 hours, treat everyone in your home with kindness and see if it doesn’t bring benefit to you, too.
August 3, 2018
Now here’s one trap you don’t want your family to fall into: playing favorites.
Whether it’s the workplace, politics, or game shows we expect life to be fair. One Old Testament family who struggled with this is Rebekah, in Genesis 27, who favored her younger son, Jacob, over his older brother, Esau. On occasion, biological parents in blended families might be tempted to favor their child over their stepchild. Often it’s a subtle difference that says, “You’re mine and you’re not.” Make a better statement. We’re all in this thing together. Treat everyone the same.
August 2, 2018
Don’t rely on your judgment. Pray.
A dating couple in their early 40’s shared, “Ron, we want to get married, but some of our kids are opposed to it. What do we do?” Well, I don’t know specifically what the answer is for you but I do know getting married when a child—of any age—is strongly against it, is a bad idea. I also know extended dating makes managing sexual tension challenging. Ultimately, you’re caught between your desire for a spouse and what creates a safe environment for your kids. That’s why you must pray. And pray.
August 1, 2018
Their all-too familiar story made my heart sink.
Her children were suffering under the bully behavior of his kids. But dad and stepmom knew what was behind this. His former spouse had nothing good to say about their stepmom or her kids. Her venom turned her kids into bullies. If your children move between two homes, don’t make them little soldiers in your war of insecurity. If you do, they and everyone they touch will likely suffer great emotional wounds on the field of battle. Love them freely. Give them freedom to love others besides you.
July 31, 2018
I watched one fail; I watched one succeed.
“My parents divorced when I was 11,” the blogger explained. “It shattered my world. My mom’s remarriage was hard to accept at first, but this blended family has become very special to me. And my mom’s marriage taught me that love can last. I watched one marriage fail; I watched one marriage succeed.” Children of divorce don’t want to repeat the past. Sometimes they lose faith in the institution of marriage but a healthy stepfamily marriage can restore faith in God’s design for the family.
July 30, 2018
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.