Non-Traditional Is the New Traditional
January 15, 2019
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The gospel is the same. Families are not.
Noted scholar N.T. Wright says that every generation has to take a fresh look at the Christian faith and ministry. We can’t live on how ministry was done before because culture, language, and societal pressure points always change. Well, hear this: Non-traditional families are the new traditional family! Think again about your children’s ministry, student ministry, and how you prevent divorce. The gospel is the same, but families are not. If you want to stay relevant, take a fresh look.
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I love it when Jesus tells us how to do what he’s asked!
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” You recognize those words of Jesus in Luke 6 as the Golden Rule. Then he tells us this Rule follows the law of sowing and reaping—what you sow is what you reap—and practically how we live it out. Love your enemies. Be merciful. Don’t judge, or condemn others, but be giving and forgiving. You reap what you sow. Do you want to make your marriage, your home, your workplace, the world a better place? Lead with love and watch it come full circle.
January 14, 2019
When wisdom calls or speaks, do you listen?
In the Bible the book of Proverbs portrays wisdom as a woman who calls out to those who would live life well. A fool turns away and does not listen to her guidance resulting in distress and anguish. Scripture offers all of us, blended families included a great deal of life wisdom you can apply or ignore. The Bible is more than just a book of handy tips. It is THE source for godliness and wise living. Carve out some time and listen to her.
January 11, 2019
Do you know what happens when a boomerang child leaves your home? They come back.
Parents find themselves walking the line between life coach and landlord and children find themselves a lot more dependent than they’d like to be. Stepparents who have not lived with the child may be completely lost. Address this first as a couple by clarifying your expectations. Once you agree share them with the boomerang child and then listen to their needs and expectations. Trust God as you honor your marriage covenant and help the child plant their feet back on the path to independence.
January 10, 2019
With well over half of couples today living together before marriage there must be some really good benefits to doing so, right?
Research tells us that cohabiting couples are less likely to support one another financially, are less sexually committed and trustworthy and have more negative attitudes about marriage. If they later marry they’re more likely to divorce. They also have higher levels of domestic and child abuse. It sounds like God’s desire that you put a ring on it before you move in really is in your best interest and your child’s. I guess the only question is who do you trust more? Him or yourself?
January 9, 2019
What if we parented according to the beatitudes?
In Luke 6 Jesus offers a blessing on the poor, hungry, sad, and persecuted, but a caution to those who are rich, well fed, comfortable, and popular. Now, our job as parents is to provide for our kids. But to what degree? Many of us brag because we make our kids rich with material things…overly fed and popular wearing the latest styles. Think about it. What are we doing to our kids? Caution parents. Maybe we should keep their hearts humble, hungry for more than what this life offers.
January 8, 2019
We parents are not as in tune as we think.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in over 30 years of family ministry and being a parent myself since 1994, it’s that parents aren’t as in tune with their kids as they think. I’ve learned things about my kids I had no idea was going on inside them for years. I’ve known parents who thought their kids were fine until it was obvious they were being bullied or had a hidden addiction or had been devastated by family problems. Talk with your kids. Listen with fresh ears to what’s beneath their words.
January 7, 2019
Do you have a mindset for scarcity or abundance?
When it comes to giving, we can develop a scarcity mindset and forget that God provides for all our needs. Sometimes co-parents do the same thing. They have a scarcity mindset about time with their kids and fear they'll lose their affections. No, have an abundance mindset. Be flexible with schedules and know that a child has more than enough love and loyalty for you and every new member of their blended family. Scarcity means you’re scared. An abundance mindset brings an abundance of blessing.
January 4, 2019
We’ve all heard Romans 5:8; “while we were still sinners Christ died for us.”
We all need reconciliation to God but it is odd that we sometimes draw distinctions. I’ve actually heard some Christians in biological families talk down to singles, single parents, and stepfamilies as if their biological family somehow makes them more worthy of Christ’s loving sacrifice. Really? You think there are first-class Christians and second-class Christians? Listen; there are only sinners who need a Savior. So let’s all hold our heads up for if we are in Christ we are all forgiven.
January 3, 2019
Never ask your child to become a spy kid.
When my kids were young they enjoyed the movie, “Spy Kids.” Now if you have children living between two homes don’t ask your child to be a spy for you. Questions like, “is your dad still dating that woman,” or “how can she afford to give that to you?” put your child into a loyalty bind that makes them feel guilty for loving people. It hurts your child. So instead, give your kids your permission for them to love others. It won’t take anything away from you but it’s a huge blessing to them.
January 2, 2019
What you mean start one ourselves? Can we do that?
All over the world, couples are starting marriage education groups and churches are hosting events to help marriages. Roger said, “My wife and I started a small group for stepfamily couples in our home. It’s working! Everybody loves the fellowship and lives are being changed.” One ordinary couple plus a practical resource can equal changed lives for the glory of God. If you’ve ever benefitted from somebody sharing an encouraging word maybe it’s time you encouraged somebody else. You can do this.
January 1, 2019
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