Ham & Turkey
November 15, 2017
00:00
What, you mean we can eat ham and turkey at Thanksgiving?
Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something…no, I’m not talking about a wedding. I’m talking about the holidays for stepfamilies. One of the challenges for stepfamilies is combining traditions. Be flexible and keep something old, make something new, and borrow from each other till you find something that works. In other words, you might eat ham and turkey for Thanksgiving. There’s no one right answer. Be considerate of each other, talk, compromise, and ask for God’s wisdom.
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You know, sometimes the best thing you can do with the Bible, is live it.
Ask yourself as you listen to Colossians 3 how to live out these words today in your own home. “…clothe yourselves for compassion, perhaps for a friend. Kindness, in a relationship. Gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts and be thankful.”
November 14, 2017
So what do you think, do we grieve well?
First, no, we don’t grieve well as a society. It’s un-American to sit in our sorrow. And second, we think we have dealt with the past. That’s one reason people marry quickly again after a divorce or being widowed only to discover that grief is waiting for them on the other side of the wedding and the kids are grieving, too. And, now are resentful of your quick turnaround marriage. Look, grief needs your full attention. Don’t act like it doesn’t.
November 13, 2017
Courage means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die.
Throughout history, men and women of great courage have adopted the readiness to die in order that others might live. In a different kind of battle, I see people displaying the readiness to die to self in order that others might live. Many sacrifice their personal desires on a daily basis in order to serve one another. Parents and stepparents fight for the well-being of their children. This Veteran’s Day let’s celebrate both those who have fought for our country and those who fight for our homes.
November 10, 2017
Parenting over the long haul is tough. Stepparenting is really tough.
Not all stepparents feel like their job is tough, but clearly, on the whole, if you listen to stepparents you’ll see they have many challenges and they also have fewer rewards. Biological parents have challenges, too, but on a regular basis they also enjoy sweet, positive moments with their kids: a sincere “thank you” or a teachable moment that brings them together. Stepparents enjoy these kinds of moments, too, but far less often. And, that’s why stepparents need a really big hug.
November 9, 2017
Were there any rituals at your wedding?
Many modern stepfamily weddings include the Blending of the Family Sands ceremony in which each adult and child pours a vase of sand into a larger vase signifying the new family. The sand symbolizes the couple's journey into love, but it’s just the beginning for the kids and the entire family. The ceremony doesn’t create familyness…life does. Remain dedicated to the process of merging your sand while you embrace your evolving mosaic as a family. Pour yourself in and trust God with the process.
November 8, 2017
When the road gets long, just keep going.
It’s not true for all but some stepfamilies tell me they feel like Moses and the Israelites leaving Egypt for the Promised Land. They left something horrible but it's taking longer to get there than they thought. Besides, they’re carrying baggage and when children slow their progress, they wonder if they should have stayed in Egypt. So begins the grumbling and complaining. But I say, like the Israelites, God is leading your journey. In your weariness, trust Him, and He’ll see you through.
November 7, 2017
“Never satisfied are the eyes of man.”
When Proverbs 27 in the Bible says the eyes of people are never satisfied, it is warning us against being hungry for more wealth. But it’s not just wealth you’ll want more of. You’ll want your spouse to be more like your friend’s spouse. Of course, you don’t know what life is really like on the inside. This could be said about your children, your job, or your clothes. Eyes that are never satisfied are blinded by envy and jealousy. Find joy in what you have and trust God for what you really need.
November 6, 2017
Parents, what’s your role when it comes to your kids and the other parent?
Whether you’re married and raising your kids together, or you have a co-parent who lives in the other home, or maybe there’s a stepparent who lives with you; I’m wondering, are you a defender--speaking up for one side or the other or an interpreter who tries to translate and bridge the gap between the other two. You can play either one of these roles some of the time but don’t get stuck in them all of the time. And, as much as you can, stand with your spouse. Be united.
November 3, 2017
“Ron, I’m an adult, my mom is dating a guy, and I’m having a rough time with it.”
I heard from a listener who was struggling with her mom’s serious relationship. “My dad died five years ago,” she said. “Even though I’m happy for my mom, I’m not comfortable with her new relationship, but I’m trying to be supportive.” I don’t care how old you are, when a parent dates or marries, it dramatically changes your life in many unwanted ways. I appreciate her attitude. But this doesn’t necessarily make the adjustments easy. It does bring a grace to the equation and that always helps.
November 2, 2017
Do you want a good marriage? Start by doing some math.
Marital researcher John Gottman found that healthy long-term couple relationships maintain a 5 to 1 ratio of positives to negatives. In other words, they make five deposits for every one withdrawal. For every act of selfishness, there is one act of kindness and sacrifice. You know, no one puts money in your financial bank but you and if you don’t invest, you’ll have nothing for the future. The same is true for your marriage. Besides, the dividends you get in return are well worth the investment.
November 1, 2017
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.