A Bridge Finally Crossed
April 7, 2021
00:00
No, the bridge was always there. She just finally crossed it. Jennifer and her stepfather started on opposite sides of the ravine. She told me, “It took years to appreciate what my stepfather did for me starting at age 13.” Now she was a 28-year-old mother herself and she said, “He provided for us and loved me even when I couldn’t let myself love him. I don’t know why. But eventually I let him in and now we have an awesome relationship.” Adoptive parents and stepparents can be God’s provision for a child. When love builds a bridge cross it.
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Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.
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When a child misbehaves, make sure you lead with love. Jaylen’s teenage stepson cussed out and intimidated his own mother. Now Jaylen really wanted to unload on him, but he decided to take a different approach. With great compassion and a calm tone, he asked the young man what prompted him to be disrespectful. He led with genuine love. That got the young man to reflect on himself. His attitude softened and he apologized. Then, and only then, did Jaylen look that young man in the eyes and sternly tell him to never cross that line again.
April 6, 2021
Sometimes you have to step through the wilderness with trust and raw determination. Many of us have a wilderness to cross at some point in our lives. Like Moses and the Israelites headed for the Promised Land, often it takes longer to get there than we'd like. Stepfamilies have to step through their wilderness, too. They’ll reach a Promised Land when they’ve had time to create a family identity and smooth out the bumps in relationships. Because that journey can be long, it’s important to keep trusting God to provide direction and to stay determined to not look back at Egypt.
April 5, 2021
What’s so good about death? Today we acknowledge the death of Christ. We call it Good Friday. What’s good about it? In Jesus’ day when Rome conquered an enemy, a herald would announce the good news. They called it a gospel. For us, the cross changed everything. The suffering of one brought mercy to many. Good Friday announced the “good news” that the battle had been won, victory was ours, and the King was restoring peace to his people. This weekend join with your church family and celebrate the King. We have good news!
April 2, 2021
Patience is definitely a virtue. Growing in Christ often comes down to things we take off and put on, like when we say to a child, “Hold on. Be patient,” what we’re saying is “Put on some patience.” The Bible talks about patience as delaying something you want on behalf of someone else’s need. Like the way God is patient with us, slow to judge, and long-suffering. You put on patience when you let a child finish a task using their style, not yours. It’s showing mercy and restraint to keep on loving someone who is hard to love.
April 1, 2021
In marriage, is “separate” ever okay? A consumer magazine offered this financial advice. “Consider separate accounts for your expenses that are all your own.” They were talking to blended family couples and encouraging separate bank accounts. But that creates a trust issue doesn’t it? One man said, “I thought the point of marriage was oneness. How can couples become one if they keep their money separate?” Stepfamily finances are tricky. Consider all the factors, consult with a financial planner, and make a decision together.
March 31, 2021
You’ve heard me say it before, “As parents united you stand, but divided they fall.” Parents who are united in their parenting approach provide more stability and consistency in their home. But, practically, how do you get on the same page if you have different parenting styles? Well, go to a class. Read a book. What has influenced you as a parent? What are your thoughts about discipline, punishment, and encouragement? Write it down so you can be clear. Then share that with your spouse and merge your ideas from there. It’ll take some work, but your kids are worth it.
March 30, 2021
Sometimes in parenting, one parent is a lot more serious about godliness than the other. When parents agree to live by and teach God’s statues for godliness, children see a consistent message. But sometimes parents don’t see eye to eye and kids get confused. This can happen with a married couple or to parents living in separate homes. Either way, the task for the parent with the higher standard is to be intentional about what you teach and model because both the child and the other parent are watching. Trust God to convict their hearts while you let your light shine brightly.
March 29, 2021
Do you know why kids have middle names? So, they’ll know when to behave. Words are empty without action. Proverbs 29:19 nails it: “By mere words a servant is not disciplined, for though he understands, he will not respond.” Kids understand what you want but as long as you argue with them, they don’t have to do it. Stop talking and do something. One of my kids slammed his door in my face. Without a word, I took it off the hinges for three days. No, we can’t control our kids, but we are in charge of their environment. Do something.
March 26, 2021
Hey, don’t text and drive. And don’t text and parent. Kids have a new rivalry in their lives: their parents’ devices. I know kids are glued to their screens; too, but how will they learn moderation if we don’t model it for them? Back in 2009, a study found that for every hour a TV is on in the home parents speak 500 to 1000 less words per day to their child. Imagine what it is today. So, to avoid distraction, set your phone down. Be intentional about being available. We tell them not to text and drive. Don’t text and parent.
March 25, 2021
Godly people try to make friends out of enemies. Maybe you saw the viral video of the mom who took a birthday gift to her daughter’s dad…and stepmom. Of course, everybody wanted to know why because moms and stepmoms are supposed to be enemies, right? Just because it is often like that doesn’t mean it should be. See, this Mom had been going through a tough time and her ex and the stepmom had been supportive. To say “thank you” she took them a gift. The whole world and her daughter got to watch and be inspired. Now that’s how you co-parent.
March 24, 2021
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Blended & Blessed®
Blended & Blessed® is the only one-day live event and livestream just for stepfamily couples, dating couples with kids, and those who care about blended families. Join sites around the globe on April 27th, 2024 as we unpack strategies that are crucial to building unity in your stepfamily. With some of today’s most trusted and respected experts, Blended & Blessed will challenge, inspire, and encourage you.