Pray for Biological Parents
November 19, 2018
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Prayer reveals your heart to those around you.
I was speaking on Facebook Live when a stepmom's comment really impressed me. She said, “When my stepdaughter first moved in we made sure we prayed for her mom at bed time. It made a huge difference in my stepdaughter’s attitude toward me.” Of course it did. Why? Because you reveal your heart when you pray. In this case, the stepmom’s good will toward the biological mom showed the daughter she respected the mom and their mother-daughter relationship. To a child, a gracious heart is a safe place.
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Have you ever noticed that worry can spoil an otherwise happy day?
The Bible has a lot to say about worry: “An anxious heart weighs a man down,” Proverbs 12. And, yet, if you’re like me, you worry frequently. About the economy. Are my kids driving safely? Aging parents, politics, terrorist attacks, what to fix for dinner? Why do we do this? Because we forget that God cares. “You are so much more valuable than birds or flowers and yet God provides for them,” Jesus said. Seek first the kingdom and trust him with everything else.
November 16, 2018
Well, he didn’t get to walk his daughter down the aisle, but he did get the daddy-daughter dance.
A friend of mine saw that his stepdaughter was struggling to decide who should walk her down the aisle at her wedding. Her dad, who had been in and out of her life or her stepdad, who had been there all along. My friend made a big sacrifice. He told her he would be okay with her father walking her down the aisle. That brought a light to her eyes and a smile to her face. Then she insisted: “But nobody’s going to take away our dance at the reception.” Oh yeah, he enjoyed that daddy-daughter dance!
November 15, 2018
You know that scene in Forrest Gump when he runs back and forth across the country for three years. Hey, stop running!
Do you feel like Forrest Gump? I keep running into young people whose parents went round and round on the marriage go-round and they got left behind. Alone. Now as adults, they don’t know what a healthy relationship is or what good parenting looks like. So, they run. Well, in the middle of the desert Forrest finally announces, “I’m pretty tired. I think I’ll go home now.” Stop running. Find a ministry or a godly mentor to help you find some answers. Maybe “tired” is trying to tell you something.
November 14, 2018
The best way to love others is to be caught up in a love relationship with God.
Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself. Notice the relationship between these two commands of Jesus. You can’t care for others unless you’re caught up in a love relationship with God. The heavenly relationship empowers the earthly one. Ask yourself, “How do I love this person out of love for God?” That recalibrates your motives and gets your heart in the right posture. Loving God is the source to loving others.
November 13, 2018
Online betrayal? That’s not really betrayal.
It’s quick, easy, and the likelihood of getting caught is very low. So, why not explore the internet for pictures, videos, or live connections? Besides, it’s the internet; it’s not really a betrayal. If that’s what you think, you should know, it does hurt. Multiple studies report that internet infidelity is just as negative to partners as offline affairs. Second, if you have to hide it, it is a betrayal. Make choices that honor the ones you love. Protect your eyes, your desires, and your heart.
November 12, 2018
Courage means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die.
Throughout history, men and women of great courage have adopted the readiness to die in order that others might live. In a different kind of battle, I see people displaying the readiness to die to self in order that others might live. Many sacrifice their personal desires on a daily basis in order to serve one another. Parents and stepparents fight for the well-being of their children. This Veterans Day let’s celebrate both those who have fought for our country and those who fight for our homes.
November 9, 2018
One way to develop faith in your children is to think out-loud.
Thinking out-loud is sharing with kids how you came to a certain decision. The next time you’re in the car, think out-loud. “Hey Buddy, we decided not to buy that big screen television. Instead we're going to use the money for a service project. I think this honors God and buying another thing for us really doesn’t.” Thinking out-loud shapes the faith of your children and shows them how life and faith connect. And, when stepparents think out-loud, kids see your heart and they grow to trust it.
November 8, 2018
Parents are lying to their kids…for personal gain. And, it’s got to stop.
I’ve worked with divorced parents for over two decades and it drives me crazy when a parent is lying to their child about the other home. Often it's a selfish motivation--money, custody, or winning the favor of the child--and all it takes is blaming the other parent or skewing the story to make yourself look good. It’s all a cowardly lie. Proverbs 12 declares that truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment. Eventually your kids are going to figure it out and then what?
November 7, 2018
Parents need to be reminded: Kids don’t think like us.
Kids don’t always see it the way we do. Like at the end of a hard day, you want peace and quiet, but they want to play and be with you! Kids don’t always see co-parenting the way you do either. You want a 50/50 visitation time because that’s fair. But kids don’t keep track of time. They want to love and have reliable, predictable contact with both parents. Or you think your former spouse is a crazy loon. Your kids don’t care. Be a parent and think like a parent, but let your kids be kids.
November 6, 2018
So, what’s the moral of that story?
Writing for Forbes.com, one personal finance contributor noted that about half of his firms disputed probate, estate, and trust cases were between a stepmother and her stepchildren. The writer said distrust was a common factor in the disputes. Say the father died, the children didn’t trust their stepmother to manage the estate if she hadn’t been married very long or if she favored her kids financially. What’s the moral of that story? Close relationships and trust are your most valuable assets.
November 5, 2018
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