By Wisdom a House is Built (Proverbs 24)
April 11, 2017
00:00
Every house, has its own blueprint.
Proverbs 24 says, “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.” I do this to share wisdom with you for building a stepfamily home. I know you can’t hear them all so we put them online. Proverbs continues, "By knowledge the rooms of your home will be filled with pleasant riches." When you apply stepfamily wisdom, the dining room and living room are full of good food, laughter, and warmth and the master bedroom is filled with…well, let your imagination finish that one.
References:
Proverbs 24
Featured Offer
FamilyLife Blended® Newsletter
Receive our monthly Strengthening Stepfamilies newsletter as well as the occasional email updating you on stepfamily events and resources.
Archives
No, the bridge was always there. She just finally crossed it.
Jennifer and her stepfather started on opposite sides of the ravine. She told me, “It took years to appreciate what my stepfather did for me starting at age 13.” Now she was a 28-year-old mother herself and she said, “He provided for us and loved me even when I couldn’t let myself love him. I don’t know why. But eventually I let him in and now we have an awesome relationship.” Adoptive parents and stepparents can be God’s provision for a child. When love builds a bridge cross it.
April 10, 2017
“You know, Ron, they tried to tell me to slow down. But I just didn’t listen.”
On our radio broadcast FamilyLife Today we interviewed a single mom about the challenges of dating when you have kids. Later that same single mom got married, forming a blended family. Ironically, she didn’t heed her own advice. She married a great guy but for the sake of her kids she had regrets about moving too fast. When you’re ready to marry, your kids are likely far behind. Avoid regret. Date intentionally and give consideration to how your kids feel about it. You won’t regret that.
April 7, 2017
“Ron, I’m jealous of a 10-year-old and I resent her like crazy.”
In stepfamilies, it’s fairly common for people to feel jealous of someone but what they really feel is fearful and insecure. If their jealousy could talk it would say, “I want to feel important and I’m afraid you took my place.” If you act on your jealousy you’ll just become bitter, critical, and competitive and then you will lose your place. Ask God to give you compassion for the very person you’re jealous of and discover that love leaves more than enough room for everyone to be important.
April 6, 2017
When a child misbehaves, make sure you lead with love.
Jaylen’s teenage stepson cussed out and intimidated his own mother. Now Jaylen really wanted to unload on him, but he decided to take a different approach. With great compassion and a calm tone, he asked the young man what prompted him to be disrespectful. He led with genuine love. That got the young man to reflect on himself. His attitude softened and he apologized. Then, and only then, did Jaylen look that young man in the eyes and sternly tell him to never cross that line again.
April 5, 2017
Sometimes you have to step through the wilderness with trust and raw determination.
Many of us have a wilderness to cross at some point in our lives. Like Moses and the Israelites headed for the Promised Land, sometimes it takes longer to get there than we'd like. Stepfamilies have to step through their wilderness, too. They’ll reach a Promised Land when they’ve had time to create a family identity and smooth out the bumps in relationships. Because that journey can be long, it’s important to keep trusting God to provide direction and to stay determined not look back at Egypt.
April 4, 2017
Patience is definitely a virtue.
Growing in Christ often comes down to things we take off and put on, like when we say to a child, “Hold on. Be patient,” what we’re saying is “Put on some patience.” The Bible talks about patience as delaying something you want on behalf of someone else’s need. Like the way God is patient with us, slow to judge, and long-suffering. You put on patience when you let a child finish a task using their style, not yours. It’s showing mercy and restraint to keep on loving someone who is hard to love.
April 3, 2017
“Ron, how does autism affect a stepfamily?”
Blending two families is even more challenging with a child on the autism spectrum because they have rigid routines and struggle to connect emotionally. Now, bonding is what a blended family is trying to do so where does that leave a stepparent with an autistic stepchild? Or stepsiblings who don’t understand why so many things have to be centered on the autistic child. Well, you have to move slowly as a family, make changes very carefully, and lower your expectations for emotional bonding.
March 31, 2017
After a break up or lost relationship, I think you’re ready to date again…when you don’t need to date again.
When pain pushes you toward a new relationship or when loneliness pulls you towards one, in my experience, you’re in trouble. Neither of those emotions helps you be objective about the quality of a new relationship…or its impact on children. Trust in God as your provider and partner. Take time to heal. When you can be content you’ll be in a much better place to make good choices about new love.
March 30, 2017
Has anyone ever said to you, “You know, I’m just getting to know you, but I really appreciate you. I’d like to get to know you a little bit better”?
A few times in my life, I’ve had someone essentially say those very words to me. It makes me feel kind of good inside and it encourages connection. Foster parents and stepparents can express this same sentiment to a child. Kids, just like adults, like hearing that they are valued. And feeling appreciated? That opens their heart to you. Now be prepared. Kids may not be instantly open toward you. But that’s okay. One of you has to step out in courage and build a bridge; it might as well be you.
March 29, 2017
The two-step is not just a dance in Texas.
In any home the marriage relationship is by far the most important earthly relationship. Yet, in blended families, it’s often the most vulnerable. So, one key step for stepfamilies is to two-step, your marriage, that is. Making the new marriage a relational priority is critical to family success. So, the marital two-step is about building strength and harmony and letting everyone know the marriage is unbreakable and that the couple is going to lead this home together.
March 28, 2017
See More Episodes
Loading...
P
S
Listen to FamilyLife Blended® on
Amazon Echo
Learn How
Learn How
Featured Offer
FamilyLife Blended® Newsletter
Receive our monthly Strengthening Stepfamilies newsletter as well as the occasional email updating you on stepfamily events and resources.