Telling the Truth for Women

I want to talk about passing on our faith to the next generation. And I don't think it's just because of the season of life I'm in, but I arrived somewhere at a conference to speak and these sweet people have put flowers and stuff in my room and and usually a card welcoming me with a Bible verse. And this one said, I wasn't quite sure how to take it actually. Even when I'm old and gray, but then my eye was riveted. Even when I'm old and gray, do not forsake me, oh God, till I declare your power to the next generation. And I can't remember when that was, probably eight years ago now. But I felt it was a very direct word from God. And it's been here in my Bible ever since. Even when I'm old and gray, do not forsake me, oh God, till until I have declared your power to the next generation. And this is a wonderful season of life. I have to tell you that. Yes, it has its very real disadvantages physically and other ways, but I am reveling in the either autumn or winter, I know not only God knows of my life. I am reveling in this. And when I think about what we're doing, I am amazed. God God doesn't take any account of age. I want you to know that. Spiritual gifts don't age. I want to encourage you, those of you who are beginning to feel and pushed aside, I'm not listened to, I this that and the other, because of your age. And some of you have shared that with me and you're only in middle age. The best is yet to be. It really is. And I think I wrote somewhere aged wisdom lent the spirit's intelligence knows when to open its mouth. There are things that come hopefully from experience and wisdom gained by experience that the Holy Spirit can lean on in our lives. And so old age lent the spirit's intelligence knows when to open its mouth. Hopefully we learn a little tact, we learn a little wisdom, we learn when to keep silent and when to speak. Then I would not say that I have learned all the things I should be learning at all, but I am finding a confidence that I never had in middle aged and I want to recommend this aging process to you. Wrinkles and all. I'm serious. I want to recommend it. It's a wonderful wonderful stage of life. And in Proverbs 31 there is a queen in the first nine verses that we never really look at. We only rush to the bionic Christian lady that lurks in the rest of the chapter. And fortunately didn't exist save in the imaginings of the person that wrote the chapter, the perfect woman. But she was a figment or not a figment but an idea of what God would wish for a woman. But she wasn't a woman, but the the woman that did exist is in the first nine verses, the sayings of King Lemuel, an oracle his mother taught him. So here is a man writing the first verses of Proverbs 31 about his mother. I love this passage. And not only is he writing about his mother, he's writing about his mother's advice. Now those of you who have teenagers, you are sitting there saying, yeah, can I imagine my 14 year old growing up and writing a book about my advice? It's so far out in left field perhaps for you at this stage, but wait a bit. And here he is. He said, I want to tell you the burden of my mother. The word is burden, oracle is burden. I want to tell you her heart. He's talking about his mother's heart. And so as you look at this and I don't have time to unravel this for you, but I'm recommending it for your own heart. Have a look at what he had learned from his mother. And it's really very simple. He said, my mother loved me. My mother prayed for me. And my mother taught me. Those three things you will find. Just take those down and go and put them in the right places in these verses. My mother loved me. Oh, she said. Oh, this oh is the expression of anxious love. In the language in which it was written, it is an expressive oh. She loved her children. And you know, that's the best thing you can do for your children. I am saying this advisedly because we all know this. We love your kids, but do you always love them? Especially the one most like you. As you see everything you don't like about yourself in that kid. I love you. The best thing you can do for your child is to love your child. And if you don't know what that means, figure it out. I never usually recommend my own books, but there's a book out there Love That Lasts and it's a exegesis hopefully on 1 Corinthians 13 on the passage love is patient, love is kind, love and each chapter defines and describes what that looks like when you do it for your child. So find in the word of God a description of agape love and measure yourself up. You know, the Bible says in James that the Bible is like a mirror and you're supposed to look in the mirror and it's supposed to reflect back what is really there. It's a it's it's what really there. You're seeing what really there. You can't see it. I can't see my face, but when I look in a mirror, I can see what others see. And that's how we should treat the word of God. And as we look in it, we see mirrored what? Well, find the places in the scriptures that talk about love, that describe love, that showcase love in relationships and find out what you're supposed to be doing for your child. How does love behave if you dig into all that? Well, love listens, doesn't lecture. How good are we at that aspect of love for our children? If you really want to love your kid, listen to them. Kids ever say to you, never listen to me. My kids have said that to me. You never listen. They were growing up was true. You have to learn to listen with love without lecturing, bite your tongue. And when you're a grandparent, it's even more important. Stewart said, you know grandparents because they have holes in the end of their tongue. I was in Bombaka in Ivory Coast in a school years ago. And there are two coups already on this trip for SIM mission. And so we kept getting sent to another country that hadn't invited us and didn't want us, but they because of the coups that were happening, the military coups behind us, they'd shut the country and they'd say, what do we do with our guest speakers for our or let's send them to the next country. So we ended up in Ivory Coast in a Christian school that served all the missions in that part of Africa. Ivory Coast school. And as we came in the light in in the gate, I asked God, I said, why am I here? And there was a gorgeous blonde kid sitting up in a tree at the entrance to the gate. She was probably about 17. And God said, that's why you're here. That's it. And so trying to follow that nudge of the spirit, I found her in the dining room the first day. I sat next to her and began to do the hard work of winning that confidence of that child that she might like me. Because if they don't like you, they're not going to listen to you. And I had to do that quickly. We didn't know how long we were going to be as they just closed the school down and gave us a spiritual emphasis five days with those kids that was totally unplanned for. And so I began to do the work that God wanted me to do in this kid's life. And I found out she was she was a Wycliffe kid. She her parents were buried in the jungle somewhere. The time had come for her to decide where to go for college and all of this. And there was no one really to ask her. No mom, no dad. And God gave me the incredible privilege of being her mom in that situation and listening. And she was a little angry. She was angry at the mission. She was angry and she was just a little angry, you know, typical thing that happens in that situation. And I wanted to jump in how many times a day and start lecturing. Open my Bible and say, now this is what you need to do and this is what you need to go. And God kept saying, listen, listen, listen. And so it wasn't until the very last day that I tentatively said, let me share some things with you. And she listened to me. And when I was going, she pushed a little note into my hand and said, I knew that you loved me because you listened to me. And because you listened to me, I listened to you. Big lesson. Ask yourself sometimes in this church of 100 people, 200 whatever, who am I here for this Sunday? Could be a kid 17 years of age. Is out of sorts with their parents, but would listen to you if you listened to them. Love listens. So she loved this kid. And this king Lemuel says, let me tell you what my mom did right. She loved me. She loved me. And then she prayed for me. She prayed for me. Oh son of my womb, oh son of my vows. And that is referring to the dedication prayer she prayed in that culture at the dedication service of her child. It was her prayers if you wish. She prayed for me. He remembered that. Said she prayed for me. I want that legacy left in my children and my grandchildren's lives. The best thing I can do is to be Nana. She prayed for me every day of her life. I have to make I I have to do that. I have to earn that. But I want them to remember me. My Nana prayed for me every day of my life. And most of them know that. In fact, one of our teenagers, we have 17 teenagers now, two going to college and our 13 grandchildren. One of them said to me not too long ago, well it was a couple of years ago now, I'm going to a concert tonight Nana. And I said, oh really where? Sounds I don't know who's playing. And I listened and listened and I said, who are you going with? Oh just my friends from school. I said, you know, I don't think it's a very good idea. Oh it's fine. It's absolutely fine mom, you know and on and on and on. And I said Danny listen to me. I don't think it's a very good idea. And so he started again and I said, okay, I'm just going to pray about it. And he swung around and said, don't do that. I really got his attention. And I thought, thank you God. This kid's really frightened of grandma's prayers. I have done my job because he knows God answers my prayers. And he actually relies on that, looks for that. She prayed for me. And she taught me. And the word is a very interesting word. It's very strong. The Hebrew word means, listen to this, to chastise, correct, instruct, punish, reform, reprove. It can be used as sore, s o r e. She was serious. Her teaching was serious. She used every single method that you can debate the boundary thing and the punishment thing and the timeout thing and all of this and everything else and maybe chastised him literally. We don't know. But whatever it took, she taught him. And you know, there's a verse in Proverbs that says, speaking to the son, son, obey your mother's teaching and your father's instruction. I think it's the other way around. But another Proverbs verse says, obey your mother's teaching. And so in the Old Testament certainly the mother's job was to teach the children. And she did it with ritual for the feasts. And as she involved the children in making the leaven bread, she would be teaching and saying, let me tell you what this is all about, etc etc. And so she taught the children. She was very practical. She said, it's not for kings oh Lemuel, it's not for kings to get drunk. She named it. She wasn't nebulous. Be good. What does that mean? You're going to be a king, live like one Lemuel. Kings don't get drunk. It's not for kings to get involved with women, with sexual addiction. She spelled it out. Rules for kings, you can look up in Proverbs 16 12 and 15. It's all laid out. And she was coming from knowledge passed on to her to train her boy for kingship. That's what we're supposed to be doing, train little kings and queens and princesses for God. I used to say to my mother because we had pictures of Princess Margaret and Princess Elizabeth and then little coats going to church and we bought little coats like theirs and you know, it was a real thing. And I remember saying to my mother, why can't we be princesses? And she said, you're my princesses darling. And it was never quite enough. I want to be a real princess, you know. And we want our children to want to be princesses, princess for God. Want them to be royal, really to have royal behavior. There's a marvelous story Stewart tells of King of England's two sons and they were messing around in Hyde Park and one of them said, I bet you anything, a shilling in those days, that all policemen have bald heads. Now the only way they could find out is to get rid of the helmets and see. The other one said, you're wrong. But they were princess, they were king's sons. So they didn't know how to remove a helmet, but the little scruffy urchin comes along from London and says, what's the matter? And they said, hey we'll give you a shilling if you can knock the policeman's hat off. Oh easy. Off comes the hat. He's got a bald head. So the two boys were working out their money and their debts and the policeman arrives and gets hold of them and says, you've accosted my person, what's all this about? What's your name? So one of them said, Duke of York. Do you dare be cheeky? What's your name? Well actually I am the Duke of York. What's your name? I'm the Prince of Wales. So by now he is getting pretty annoyed. And so he turns the little urchin and he said, what's your name? And he digs Prince of York in his ribs and says, I won't let you down. He says, I'm the Archbishop of Canterbury. Now why is that so amusing? Because on many grounds the policemen didn't believe they were the king's sons. Why? Because they weren't behaving like king's sons, right? Little urchin didn't believe they were who they were because could you get two princes behaving like that? And so this mother is saying, live like a king and I'll tell you what it looks like. And teaching our children means spelling it out and don't leave them hanging and wondering. When we first came and are here and our children got up into the teenage years, Bob Hanley a wonderful wonderful person who used to sing for the Billy Graham Crusade, they became our youth pastors. They were fabulous youth pastors. And they were the ones that invested in our children's lives. And I will ever ever be thankful to Bob and Jane Hanley that his ministry as a youth pastor, let me encourage all you youth pastor's wives here, was um this is the fruit. This is the fruit of it. And um he had a sex talk with the group then uh once a year. Now we have it once a week. But in those days it was between him and the kids. And he would always say, you do not need to tell your parents what we're going to talk about. So you're free to ask any question you want. But this is between your youth pastor and you. So when they come home of course, I'm dying to know what's going on here. And so I say, well what did Bob say? Can't tell you mom. We don't need to tell you. No. Just it it's just about Bob's rule. And I kept hearing about Bob's rule. So of course I was on a mission then to figure out what it was. And the two oldest never let me know. I tried everything. But Pete was a little more vulnerable. And I was 13 I guess he was. And I went up to say goodbye and he says, mom I'm too old for you to kiss me good night. And then we were wrestling and kidding on the bed and he by then was 6 ft 6. He grew all at 6 ft 6 height when he was 13 14. And so I I was it was no contest, but I eventually missed him and kissed his neck. And he said, you broke up Bob's rule. And I said very casually, oh. What's that? And he without thinking said, well don't lie down, nothing below the neck and keep everything on. I said, that's it. Said, that's it. All my children have testified that that rule saved them in some situations. Very simple. Not be good. But he spelled it out. And when eventually our eldest son David Ria's husband, when he got married, he got a telegram from Bob, forget the rule. But if you're going to raise a royal, you have to be royal yourself. You have to love them and they need to know it. You have to pray for them and they need to know it. You have to teach them. You have to teach them whatever that takes. Give it, spell it out, talk it out, work it out, all of that. And then you'll raise a royal. There's no guarantee however. God had a son, put him in paradise and he still went wrong. And you can do it all right like God did. But the kid has his will or his won't. And they are responsible to God for their choices. But you can sure do a lot along the way to make the environment so that these children and pastor's kids have very specific needs, very very specific needs. And so that's what we need to do. We need to love them, we need to pray for them and we need to teach them. My one copy of God's front door I have here. Want to just read you a prayer that you could use. Time when one of my children was in deep trouble. And this was a poem I wrote on a very dark day. Dear son, this cup of sorrow must be drunk. It is for thee. But be sure he holds the goblet. Dear son to is he. Hurting one here's your father saw his son upon the cross. Understanding pain and parting knows so well your loss. Bruised was he but never broken. Dim the flax burns in the storm. He will strengthen you with power. He will lead you home. First born of beloved children. Joy and pride we have in thee. Father hear this mother's heartbeat. Cradle him for me. Cradle him for me. Cradle him for me. Father hear this mother's heartbeat. Cradle him for me. Best thing you can do for your kids is to put your child in the arms of God and let him do that. Love him, love her, pray for him, pray for her and teach them. And then you're done. And God takes over and does the rest. Pray with me. Heavenly Father, we are parents many of us, some of us not yet, maybe some of us not ever. But we have children in our lives because we have two families. And there will come a point like the kid in the Ivory Coast when that beautiful 17 year old became my child for a moment that we will share their pain and be there for them, to love them and pray for them and to put them into your arms that you might cradle them, which is the very best thing we can do in the world. And we pray that you would make us this sort of a woman, that this son one day thousands of years ago intentionally wrote about the burden of his mother. Lord, may our children rise up to call us blessed. As we pass on your truth to the next generation, and may all that come behind us find us faithful and pass on the truth to their next generation and the next generation and the next generation. We ask it for Christ's sake. Amen.