Telling the Truth for Women

Jill Briscoe: I wrote some little books about my conversations, my prayer life. Prayer isn’t something you do, actually prayer is somewhere you go, if you wish. It’s called the waiting room, and God is waiting for us to wait. And in Isaiah 40, it says if we wait on the Lord, He will renew our strength and we'll mount up with wings like eagles. We'll run and not be weary, and we will walk and not faint.

And in my session today, I want to talk a little bit about how. How do you live in the Word? How do you hear His voice? What's it sound like? How can we be sure it's His voice and not our imagination? And when I'm reading the Bible and trying to listen to His voice, what does that sound like?

And I just want at the beginning try to throw out a whole lot of practical stuff as we walk through some of Psalm 119. I say some of Psalm because it's the longest Psalm in the Bible, and it would take a while. But before we start, let me just read you something that I wrote trying to capture my heart for the Word of God.

It lay on the steps unopened. I'd formed a habit of leaving it by God's front door, so I'd know where to find it quickly. Of course, I had other copies of the book. They were all over the house in case I happened to have an unexpected minute in the middle of a busy day. Some hope. They were on my bookshelves, in the bedroom, lying open in the study, and there was even one in the kitchen.

These God-books were bound in leather—burgundy, black, or a nice deep blue. And they had the same words in them as the one waiting for me on the steps outside the front door. Yet I found out that when I read them without taking time to sit still in the spirit's clear air and ask Him to turn the pages and teach me the truths, it was as though I needn't have bothered reaching for them at all.

It wasn't that a snatched piece of scripture couldn't help me, but somehow such rushed religiosity didn't shake my soul awake or turn my worldview on its head. A hasty glance at a page of Holy Writ with the radio on in the background and my hands full of laundry was like popping a candy in my mouth, sweet for a moment but soon gone.

And I remember the day I realized that that sort of reading didn't really heal a wound caused by people who wanted to hurt me, or save me from regrets that haunted my dreams. The quick fix I'd hoped for from the hastily ingested words didn't seem to have the power to chase away a fear that leered around the corner of tomorrow. And I never got a swift solution to how to tackle a deep and personal dilemma, sing in the rain, shout in the storm, or survive a tsunami.

They were wonderful words, and I believed them. But they didn't seem to make any lasting difference. Have you ever had that experience? But when I trod quietly in the garden of grace where the steps began, and I sat down in the misted mysteries of God, and when I just was for a time till I woke up inside to an awareness that He is, then I knew something had happened.

Not only heart deep inside me, but strange miracle to the book as well. It was golding. And by the time we got comfortable, He and I, this harried, hurried one settled into the spirit's stunning stillness. And I wondered greatly how it was I didn't come here more often, perhaps 40 times a day.

And the first time I noticed things were radically different was when I invited Him to read His book to me instead of me reading His book to Him. It was then before my very eyes the red Bible began to change, and it becomes lighter and even more golden than ever, and altogether a different thing.

Lord, I remember saying to Him, when I asked you to read the golden book to me, it was as if I was reading it for the very first time. He was looking at me very seriously, so I knew that this was a very important conversation we were having, and no light matter.

In His hands, the burgundy copy I had left at the front door was steadily growing more golden by the moment. And when He opened the book, it was to a passage I never would have thought of reading if I had been just flicking through the pages in haste, trying to get my devotions done and out of the way.

And so a habit began. And at the end of our misty moments in the dawn on the steps of my soul, I began to write down some of the points He pointed out to ponder from my ponderings. I wrote them in books and I wrote them in scripts. Some found their ways into journals, letters, magazines, and emails.

I just kept on passing the wonderful golden words on He'd given me to my world full of people, some of whom don't even know about the front door, the steps of our soul, God's gold, and the one who loves us to distraction and who waits for us in the deep place where nobody goes.

And I've found out that people love to hear the golden words I've gathered and want to know what on earth and where on earth I heard them. It's hard to explain I haven't heard them on earth but from heaven. They may have never seen a Bible or like me have lots of Bibles available, but they don't take heart deep time with Him.

And they tell me they read only from Bibles that are black or burgundy or blue with black print on white pages and have never in their lives experienced reading from a golden book and what that does for your soul. And so I pray that here and there across the world, some people who may have possessed many Bibles all their lives will get excited, like you, my dear reader, and decide to go heart deep too, sitting still in the midst of the mysteries with Him.

And whenever you do, I promise you, you'll find a miracle happening to you in the deep place where nobody goes. And you and your world will surely be better for it. Then in a little while, you'll see that your whole life will be transformed into an altogether different thing.

Words of gold, words of God on golden page. Words of life that never age. Touching heart, transforming mind, treasures rich for humankind. Words of God are mine to read, words of God my spirit feed. Words that teach me righteousness, so humbled I my sin confess. Living words that light my way, encourage me when low I lay. Words that comfort all my days, words that turn my pain to praise.

Run I to the soul's deep place, falling prostrate, seek your face. Find myself in your strong arms safe, secure from all alarms. Word of God, a fortress high, till the trouble passes by. Words of God I must declare, preaching Jesus everywhere. Golden gift you are to me, gospel, setting people free. Help me use the spirit sword, words of God from my great Lord. Truth enfleshed in Christ who came, O living Word, I praise your name.

That’s what I think of this. Not only think of it, experienced from it. And my great heart cry is that you and I find ways to so live in the Word and let the Word live in us and through us, that that is what we give to our community, to our family, to our world, to our church.

So, I’m going to take much of what I say from Psalm 119 and Psalm 139 and Samuel Chapter 3. And it’s basically in those three places that I will be camping, if you wish, with what I want to say to you.

So the first of my sessions is going to be getting on track. That’s obviously why I’ve gone to Psalm 139. Search me, O God, know my heart. Try me and know my reins or my inner life and see if there's any wicked way in me and lead me in the track, lead me on the road, lead me on the way to everlasting, the everlasting way.

And of course, that’s the last verse in Psalm 139. But before we begin, let me talk about some very practical things. First of all, you need to listen with all of you. What do I mean by this? It’s amazingly possible to sit through a whole sermon or a whole anything and listen with a little bit of you, while the rest of you is very busy doing other things. And all of us fight this. And all of us must learn how to fight this, because the devil doesn’t need to do anything dramatic. All he needs to do is distract you. Just distract you from the very thing God has brought you here to hear.

And so what do I mean by living in the Word means listening with all of me? Well, first of all, you need to bring your heart. What do I mean by that? It isn’t a wholly academic exercise, although we must bring our mind as well. But we must bring our heart. We must listen with all our heart. Over and over again in Psalm 119, verses like this come: I called with my whole heart, answer me, O Lord, from your Word. I called to you with my whole heart, answer me. If your heart's not in it, you won't get much out of it.

There will be times in your life when there isn't a heart hunger to get the Word, where, we'll talk about it later, you drift, or there's distance, or it's not the same as it was when you first found Jesus, etc., etc. There will be those times. And so bringing your heart is something you can pray about. You can say, "Lord, I need to concentrate. I need to focus."

And what happens if you just begin the conversation? Just begin the conversation. "Lord, help me. My mind is scattered. I'm all over the place." Maybe you find it difficult in all sorts of ways to focus. And so ask the Lord, "Focus me, Lord. Just help me to give you half an hour of my time, Almighty God." That's not too much for Him to ask from us. And so watch yourself. And if you begin to drift off, if you're too easily distracted, like that poem about prayer about Christopher Robin—I don't know if you know the Christopher Robin books in my English heritage—Christopher Robin is saying his prayers, and he gets easily distracted. "If I open my fingers a little bit more, I can see nanny's dressing gown on the door. It's a beautiful blue and it hasn't a hood. Oh, God bless mommy and make her good."

And it’s a wonderful piece of children's literature that talks about distraction. And the kid is being taught to say his prayers, but he just keeps, he can't, because everything goes on and then he keeps coming back to God. So often I catch myself being a Christopher Robin. The Bible says, and especially in Psalm 119, do it heartily with all your heart. Bring all you are to church or to anywhere to your group. Pray all the time. Pray about it.

When you have a problem in prayer, pray about it. Never occurs to us. Better go and get a book or maybe I'll talk to somebody about it. But if you have a problem in prayer, anything, say, "God, I really have a problem with this. Talk. Talk. Begin the conversation." And then invite Him from His Word to address it. Now, it won't be absolutely specific, but it will be principle from the Word. You're looking for principles you can then apply, principles from the Word.

I remember years ago when some kids wanted me to go into a pub in England. I was doing street work and young people's work, and it was opposite the church I went to. And I found myself struggling with this because I knew out of experience that if they saw me going into this pub, the organist from the church was bound to be standing on the corner opposite. And what would she think of Mrs. Briscoe? Why was she going into the pub and all of this?

And I caught myself and I thought, "Why does that bother me?" So I prayed about it. Said, "Lord, I don't, Trevor invited me to go meet his friends in the pub." And I was, I said to him very piously, "I'll pray about it." Well, so God said to me, "What do you mean you'll pray about it? You don't want to go. Right. Why? I think it's, I'm enjoying this sort of reputation I've earned, I think, by working with street kids and now I've got this big warehouse and we've got the street. I don't need to go in the pub anymore. Right."

And so as my habit is, I got my problem—pride, if you wish. And so I began just in my daily reading looking for principle. Now, I was not going to find, "Do not go in the pub with Trevor." Doesn't work like that. I'm looking for principle. And I found it in Philippians Chapter 2. He made himself of no reputation. He came from highest heaven to hell for you. So what are you worrying about your reputation, Jill? He made himself of no reputation. I found the principle, okay?

So you’re looking for principle all the time, not for taking a bit of scripture that might fit your particular situation. That’s how God speaks to you on specific occasions. So pray before you start. Ask Him to help you focus. Bring your mind along. Spurgeon said a little girl said to him once, he said to her, "What do you think your soul is?" And she said, "My soul is my think." I like that. My soul is my mind. My soul is my think.

Spurgeon’s comment was, "Methinks many have very little soul." Anyway. My soul is my think. Well, she got it right. Mind, soul, heart. It’s difficult to define and split it up, and we shouldn't try. But you do need to bring your mind. You do need to be listening not with a critical situation but listening carefully to the scripture being unfolded.

It says in Psalm 119, unfold your Word. I love that. God wants to unfold His Word. Just unfold, fold after fold after fold till you see the whole piece of what He's trying to do or trying to say to us. So bring your think, okay? Bring your heart and bring your will, most importantly. Set your will down and make it listen, okay? Just sit it down. Take the wristwatch off your soul when you settle into your quiet time or your sermon time or whatever it is.

Don't read selectively. Don't read just for you. Read for whatever God wants to say to you about you or the world or nothing to do with you, etc., etc. Because the temptation is only to look for what you're interested in, which is you, right? Have you noticed that? Think back to your last prayer time. Did you go to prayer? Who was there? You, right? When I step into the waiting room or whatever you want to call it figuratively, I'm all over it. It's horrible. I'm just everywhere. And I can't wait to start and talk about me and mine and all my problems, right?

So I rush through all the things I should do first: praise, right? And thanksgiving, yes. Now me, right? And so we are everywhere. We are me-focused. We are so me-focused. And so what we have to do is learn silence and solitude. And you can interpret that any way you want, except to say we don't know and this generation doesn't know anything about silence and solitude. And that is sad.

I mean, if the trinity knocked on the door physically like angels or whatever, and you opened the door and you said, "Oh, do come in. Such an honor to have you." And you took them into the sitting room and turned the radio down. Would you do that? No. That's what kids do. That's what kids do. Or the TV or whatever it is on. And not just kids. Not just kids.

So find out what silence is all about. There’s so much in scripture about "Be still and know that I am God." What's that? Do you know that? Do I know that in the depth we're supposed to know? And somehow you can't be still if there's a lot of noise, etc., etc., a lot of distraction.

I think of David, young David in the scriptures. He was so lonely as a kid. He never had anyone to play with. He was alone all his growing years with a bunch of sheep, a few lions and bears thrown in. And he learned to be a giant-killer for God. Where'd he learn that? Sunday school? In a crowd? In a big youth convention? No, he learned it alone.

He looked up and said, "And I consider your heaven and the work of your fingers. What am I that you're mindful that your mind is full of me? What am I?" And he learned God. And he learned power with God in silence and solitude. Actually, he learned to play the harp, which God used as well.

So bring your heart, bring your mind, but bring your will. Because if you don't bring your will and attend to the obey word, you may as well quit praying. God says, and you read I hope Psalm 119 right the way through, just find out how many times it says obey. Incredible.

"Unfold your words and I will obey you. Give me light of understanding and I will obey you. Lead me in the path." If you look at the first few verses of Psalm 119: "Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the Lord. Blessed are they who keep His statutes and seek Him with all their heart. They do nothing wrong. They walk in His ways. You have laid down precepts that are to be fully obeyed."

And then the next part, five to eight: "Oh that my ways were steadfast in obeying your decrees. Then I wouldn't be put to shame when I consider all your commands. I will praise you with an upright heart as I learn your righteous laws. I will obey your decrees. Don't utterly forsake me." And he begins in future verses to say, "Don't let me stray from your Word. I just want to fully obey it."

If you don't want to fully obey it, you will never hear His voice. If you read selectively, or if you don't dare go deep with God in case He tells you something you don't want to hear. Huh? Be honest. You won't hear His voice. There's no way. And if you read right through that Psalm, that theme comes over and over and over again. And so He's asking lots of things and thanking God for answering His prayers. But it's as if God is saying, "If I answer this prayer, what will you do with your life, David?"

I remember as I was busy coming to Christ, I was in hospital at college in England, UK, Cambridge. And I was lying in a hospital ward in the city, and I had just come to the Lord, led to Christ by a nurse in that hospital who was also sick and happened to be in the bed next to me. And she had led me thoroughly, totally, irrevocably to Christ. Okay. So I'm pretty sick. Nobody knows what's wrong with me. They're busy taking bits out of me to try and find out, like my appendix, and it wasn't that. This is scary, folks. And so what are they going to take out next? Right. Right.

And so I'm pretty scared. I'm 18 years of age. I wasn't figuring on this. I have a huge temperature and a pain in my stomach and nobody can figure what it is. And so Jenny, the girl, took full advantage of this and made me even more frightened. And then she said, "Well, what happens if you die, where do you think you're going to go?" You know, really encouraging and comforting these words. And so that didn't help either.

She said, "I'm going to ask my pastor to come and talk to you." And I'd never talked to a pastor. I was totally unchurched or anything like that. And I said, "Well, why is he coming?" She said, "He just wants to talk to you. He's the hospital chaplain." So the hospital chaplain came, Reverend Neal, an Anglican minister, actually with a gift of healing. Interesting man.

And he was the hospital chaplain, huge hospital right in the middle of Cambridge. And so he visited me and he sat down on the chair and he said, "Jill, I am so excited to hear that you've given your life to Christ. That's absolutely wonderful." And he told me some things that I'd never heard before and gave me some little books and said, "When you're better, I want you to come. I have a meeting for the students in our living room and we sing around the piano and have supper, etc., etc."

And then he looked at me and he said, "I believe that God has a work for you to do for Him." I said, "What's that? What are you talking about?" He said, "Well, I think He's going to use your life." I said, "What do you mean?" I mean, I was coming from absolutely nothing into Jesus. I'd never heard these phrases or ideas. He said, "I think He wants you better." I said, "Oh, that's good. Tell me more."

And he said, "So one of the things I do as a hospital chaplain is I pray for sick people, and I anoint them with oil because it says in James that if you call for the elders of the church and they'll pray over you if you're sick and anoint you with oil, then the prayer of faith will save the sick, etc., etc." And he read me the little verse from James Chapter 5.

Well, I was scared. I had not heard anything of, whoa, what's this? What have I got myself into? I'd never heard anything like this. So I said, "Well, I don't know. Let me think about it." And I said, "I don't think I have enough faith, maybe God doesn't want me better." And he said very definitely, "I believe He does. I have enough faith."

So I said, "Let me think about it." So two days later, he came back. And he said, "I haven't changed my mind, Jill. Would you like a service of healing and a prayer of healing?" I said, "Yes, I would." And he said, "Before I pray for you, I have one question and then I'm going to leave you till tomorrow to answer it and then we'll pray for the healing." I said, "What's the question?" He said, "If God heals you, what will you do with your life?"

And I said, "Well, you better give me a day or two." And I took another day or two. And I was able to say, "I'll give it to God." And not until then would he pray for me. And he did. And two days later, I was back at college. Nobody could figure it out. I could figure it out. And I remember that. If I'm going to hear God's voice, I've got to say anytime, anywhere, anyplace, anything. And my commitment and surrender must be without conditions.

Then I'll hear it. But if I am coming with all these hidden agendas—boy, I'd really like to get better so I can go on with my selfish, sinful life, or if He tells me to do this, it's not my plans, I've got another agenda and I've got my own little personal happy plans here and might mean I—well, it might mean all sorts of things. Don't expect to hear. And you can read that Psalm, and when you do, pick that theme up. If you show me your Word, I will obey you. You know my heart. And God says, "I will. I will. If you are fully willing to do whatever I tell you to do."

So I don't know what your prayer life looks like. In Samuel, just let me remind you of that story without turning to it. Actually, I will turn to it because there's a fabulous word in here. Samuel Chapter 3, remember the boy Samuel is in the temple, given by Hannah who never thought she could have a child. God gives her a child. She weans him, he's probably four years of age, three or four years of age, takes him to the temple for training and gives him as she promised to the Lord.

The only problem is old Eli is far away from God. His two sons, as you can read in the scriptures, are sleeping with the women that worship at the door of the place. And they're so far away from God, it says that they do not know God and were wicked men. So this little baby child is given into the hands of old Eli, far away from God, and his two unrepentant, undisciplined kids who are horrible. And it says they don't know the Lord and they are wicked people.

And this is his training. There was nowhere else to send him. Hannah trusted. And she gave him into the hands of Eli. And I think the little boy must have loved that old man. Now, he was given at the age of four. They say that he was probably about 12 when this happened. So he'd been in the temple learning. His bed was just by the ark of the covenant, think about it. Near the holy place.

And old Eli had been doing his best, you know, and one night he goes to sleep and his job is to make sure the lamp of the Lord never goes out all night. And it's about dawn, and that's when he has to make sure that it keeps going because of all sorts of spiritual reasons and laws in the holy of holies. And suddenly the Lord visits Samuel and calls him, says, "Samuel, Samuel."

So he runs to Eli. It must have been such a human voice, sounding voice. And Eli says, "No, I didn't call you, go to bed." And so he goes back. Remember he did, "You did call me, I heard it again." And Eli says, "Oh, go again." And the third time, and then the old guy gets it. "Probably God, hmm, okay. This time say, 'Speak, Lord, your servant hears.'" Remember the story?

It's a wonderful story. It says in verse seven: "Now Samuel did not yet know the Lord. Interesting. The Word of the Lord had not yet been revealed to him in reality." The Lord calls him the third time, and he gets up and he goes and then he's told what to do. And so he says, "Speak, Lord, your servant is listening."

The Lord comes and He gives him a task for a 12-year-old that has seldom been given to a 12-year-old in scripture. Unbelievable task. In the morning, tell Eli it's done. It's over. Judgment is coming on you and your family because you did not restrain your sons. You have brought disgrace. They're even doing things with the offering, the sin offering, that are unspeakable. And so they're all going to go.

Samuel, did you hear me? That's what I want you to tell him in the morning. That's the Word of the Lord. And when he gets up in the morning, it says he opens the doors and he's doing everything except going in to tell Eli what the Lord said. And Eli calls him, "Samuel, come and tell me what He said." And it says he was afraid. The little boy was afraid.

And so Eli offers him a curse. He says, "If you do not, if you hide it from me, may God deal with you be it ever so severely." And he apparently he is saying God will curse you if you don't tell me. He's being very strong with this kid. "You tell me!" And he takes a deep breath, very brave, and he tells him everything, hiding nothing from him.

And Eli says, "He's the Lord, let him do what is good in His eyes." Look, the Lord was with Samuel as he grew up and let none of His words fall to the ground. All Israel from Dan to Beersheba, one end of the country to the other, recognized Samuel was attested as a prophet of the Lord. The Lord continued to appear at Shiloh, and there He revealed Himself to Samuel through His Word.

Through His Word. And he began to have an incredible ministry for the rest of his life. Through His Word. A pastor who's written some wonderful books, we don't have them in this country, Pastor Chan, who says on this story, Samuel, "Speak, Lord, your servant heareth." Is that what we say, or "Hear, Lord, your servant speaketh"? What's our prayer life like?

"Here I am, Lord, hear me, your servant speaks," or do we come to God and say, "Speak, Lord, your servant hears"? And I think most of us rush into the presence of God and get our business done and all our shopping list attended to and turn around, and as we're going out, God is saying, "Excuse me?" But we've been too busy speaking. So we listen in an attitude of prayer. Your Word is a lamp for my feet and a light to my path. That's the promise.

Bring all of you to your quiet time, to your devotions, to your time in the sanctuary on a Sunday, wherever you go to church. And take a scribble book. Just scribble. You don't need to take down every word. Just capture things, like Stuart's I loved His thing, the last three points about revering the Word of God. Those three things I scribbled down. And and that's a way, if you so many of older people say, "Jill, I can't concentrate. If I don't listen, I can't take notes, I don't know how to." Just scribble. Just capture something.

Just a verse or even the verse from scripture that was meaningful to you. Just put the reference down. So how do we get on track in the first place? Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep His statutes and seek them with all their heart. Happy are those who obey His decrees and search for Him with all their heart.

God says you will find me when you search for me with all your heart. So begin the conversation. Two great needs of the human race: to be loved, cared for, and to be known and understood. And the third one is to have purpose and meaning, have reason for living. Something to live for and something to die for. In my work with young people, and that goes on because gift doesn't age, spiritual gift. Heart doesn't age, passion doesn't age. I'm a kid person. Don't know what I'm doing with you all grown up people here.

Just give me my teenagers and my college kids and my 20-somethings. Gift doesn't age. If you were good with kids, you'll be good with kids all your life. Spiritual gift doesn't age. And so as I'm thinking about this and the study of the Word and finding the track, the right path, the way, the truth, the life, I'm thinking of all the things that we need to do to make sure we are getting on track with God or getting on the road.

And Psalm 139 which I just love, it’s one that I memorized. If you can memorize, memorize when you're young, you know, my glasses come in handy, my hearing aid is fine, my false teeth are just dandy, but I sure do miss my mind, okay? That's what happens. But if you look at Psalm 139 for a minute: "O Lord, you've searched me and you know me. You know when I sit, you know when I rise. You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out, my lying down. You're familiar—the word is family."

You're family, says God. You're family. I'm your Father. You're family. I'm familiar with all your ways. Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, O Lord. That's a blessing to speak as I can tell you. You hem me in, behind, before. You've laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me.

Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go to heaven, you're there. If I make my bed in the depths, you're there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, I settle on the far side of the sea. Even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me, the light will become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you.

The night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. You created my inmost being, you knit me together—embroidered is the word—you embroidered me in my mother's womb. I praise you because I'm fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame wasn't hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, woven together in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts. And then the last verse: "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there's any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."

Lead me in the way everlasting. Lead me in the right road. Get me on the right track. Are you on the right track? Well, if you're on the right track, this Word will come alive to you because that's the Word you're going to need to keep you on the right track. As you see at the beginning of that Psalm, it's all "Show me your Word and I'll obey you. Show me your Word and I'll walk in your ways." And when I get off track, don't give me up, get me back on again.

And so David knows his heart, knows it all too well. One of the things that we need to know—to be loved and known, to feel relevant, to feel necessary, to feel important, to feel that somebody cares, somebody loves me, somebody knows me. Even if you have the most wonderful relationships, there is a longing within that to be known, to be known thoroughly, and what is known not to make a difference to the person that knows it.

God says I know you like that because I've made you. You can know you're loved because of the trouble He took to make you. He took such trouble in such a small studio and in the dark, in the womb. Think about it. You wove me together in the darkness in my mother's womb. He took such trouble.

If He didn't love you, He wouldn't have taken so much trouble. He could have just gone, you know, like that, magic, and you could have appeared. He took so much trouble. I remember asking when I was teaching through that Psalm 139 once, ringing four doctors and saying, "What's the most wonderful thing about the part of the body you deal with?"

My own gynecologist, she said, "Oh, that's easy. The DNA in every cell, and there are millions of cells in our body. You know that, billions of cells apparently. Every cell has one piece of information, like how long your arms are supposed to grow and stop." She said, "Think about it. Everything stops. It's a miracle everything grows from babyhood, but she said it's also a miracle everything stops."

And your nose just doesn't go on and on and on and on. Think about it. And can you think about that's how much He loves you? Just physically, never mind your spirit and your soul and your mind and the ability to know Him, the ability to go to the deep place where nobody goes and sit on the steps of your soul and know Him? He made that too. He made it possible for that to happen. That is a making, a creating.

He took so much trouble. You are loved indeed. I loved this thing from a grade school pupil in the Seattle schools penned after an anatomy exam. "The human body is composed of three parts: the brainium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brains. The borax contains the liver and the living things. And the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five: A, I, O, U, and sometimes Y."

I love that. Great kid. To be known and loved, made me on purpose. He made you on purpose. I mean, if you want meaning, just think about that. He had a purpose for making you. He didn't go to all that trouble just for you to wander around with nowhere to go and nothing to do and no destiny. I mean, why take all that trouble, right?

So this Psalm says, "I've got plans for you. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." He has plans. What are these plans? The very best for you. If He took all this trouble, if He loved you so much, if He loved you enough to send His son to die for you, then can you imagine what His plans are for you? Not only to forgive you, not only to indwell you, but to have plans.

I remember that verse coming home to me sitting high in the sky on 9/11 trying to get from actually from Siberia through London back to Chicago. And the planes hit the twin towers, and I was on flight 929, United. Three hours out, everything three hours less went back to Europe, everything the other way went to Gander, Newfoundland, including me. Stuart had put me on the plane and gone on to Ireland.

I remember as the pilot came on and said, "There's a national emergency, all the airspace is closed, all the ground space. And I can't tell you why because they haven't told me. They've told me one thing: get them down at the nearest place, and that's Gander, Newfoundland." So we'll find out when I get down, but we're going to have an emergency landing. I remember the silence around me. All of us. In, and I've told the story many times, but we all dived for that thing you never look at in the front seat, you know, the emergency thing, the card.

But we all did, me too. And I'm a flyer of many miles, but I dived for it as well and we're all, you know, practicing as my heart was pounding as well. I had this little conversation and I was very ashamed of my reaction. You never know. First of all, I didn't believe that there was nothing wrong with the plane because there was a horrible noise and it was emptying the gas, but I'd never heard it before.

And the young doctor next to me, he said to me, "What do you think it is?" and I said, "I think we're going down." He said, "I do too." And so because of what was happening with the plane, we all fell silent. It was funny. First of all, there was a sort of and then everyone was silent with their own thoughts. And I began this conversation. And my first words were, and I will confess, "Lord, I love you dearly. You know how much I love you. But I wasn't expecting to see you today."

Can you imagine? I was devastated with myself. But you know when you're actually facing it? I wanted to live. And I think He smiled and said, "I understand. I made you to live forever, not to die. But let's see if we can do a little bit better from now on, Jill." That's what I know He said.

And so I said, "Sorry, Lord. Well, please, please speak to me." How He speaks to me is through the Word, and this was the Word immediately: Every day ordained for you is written in my book before one of them comes to be, and Jill, I have written on this clean page of your history knowing it would happen, what I want you to be, what I want you to do, what I want you to say. Why do you think you're there?

And I remember this great sense of excitement beginning at the base of my feet and thinking, "Wow, I have no idea what's ahead." I had no idea there was six and a half days in Gander, Newfoundland, on the Salvation Army floor with over 400 people from flight 292. I had no idea. But of course, He knows. He knows everything.

And somewhere He had written, "This is what I want Jill, my servant, to do and to be. So many people around her, 18 different nationalities. Some of them have never heard my Word. Some of them have and they're bored or they're off track or they're this, that, and the other. And just let her be my person, my spokesperson, and give them the Word." And that's what happened.

Most amazing six and a half days. What happened? His Word came to me. He had planned not just the good things for us, folks. That was a difficult situation. I mean, it worked out fine for me; I wasn't in those towers. Worked out fine for me, but it might not have done. Every day ordained for you is written in His book because He loves you and He wants you to live in His Word every day of your life. The good days and the bad days.

So we are loved and we are known. It’s a favorite Psalm of mine because of the wings of the morning. You see that: if I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea. And for many years, I've been taking the wings of the morning as Stuart and I have literally been on every continent. And I hate flying. I used to have to take medicine to get on a plane when I came to America 30 years ago to get myself on a plane. That's what I think of flying.

And it is a total miracle that I can now say I'm a million-mile flyer. And I'm busy telling everyone, and I try to look around planes now for people that look frightened and get a seat next to them or move because I want to talk to them. And so when they're showing nervousness or they say, "You know, I hate flying or I like my feet on the on the ground," I tell them how heavy the earth is and how amazing it is it stays in space, and that doesn't help them much.

But anyway. And I really get them as frightened as I can. And then I say, "Are you scared?" "Well, yeah, I don't like flying." And I'm always able to say, "I used to hate it. It used to be awfully difficult for me to get in an airplane." And they look at me and they say, "Well, what happened?" And I say, "Jesus, basically. Jesus."

And it’s knowing that every day ordained for you is written in His book, and you won't go to heaven one day before you're meant to. That doesn't always comfort me either, because this might be the day I meant to, but it helps. Wherever I lodge, Lord, you're with me. Wherever I travel today. Wherever I am, wherever, whatever the ill comes my way, your Word is far better than silver. You are of more value than gold. Whenever I am wherever, whether I'm lonely or old, wherever I lodge makes no difference.

Wherever I sleep, you're my light. You're the love of my life and my being, so wherever you are, it's all right. Lord, you are my song and my laughter. The kiss on my cheek you will be. Whenever I am for whomever, I know you're sufficient for me. So whenever my loved ones are absent, when I feel a bit lonely or old, I've read your good Word until I have heard the promises ancients were told. Lord, I want you to know how I love you, and how I'm so humble to know you've sent me to preach, to serve and to teach, and I want you to know that I'll go. I won't quit till the journey is over, though I travel until I am through. So thank you, dear Lord, for the honor to go to wherever for you, your child Jill.

Wasn’t written too long ago. That victory has to be won for me over and over again. It says in Psalm 119: "Wherever I lodge, your Word will comfort me." True. It does. Wherever I am for wherever.

So are you on the right road? Two roads, two ways of living: the right way and the wrong way, the right road and the wrong road. There's a way that seems right but is wrong. There's a way that looks wrong but is right. Isn't it funny? Narrow way and a broad way. Tolerance is the first commandment. Have people say to you, "How can you be so narrow and live on this narrow road of righteousness?"

Well, they’re thinking the majority is always right. Something wrong with that. Or if I'm sincere, it won't matter if I'm on the wrong road. Have to tell my tram track story. When Stuart was traveling all those days in mission, he was away for months and months on end. I was busy taking meetings and things. I had to go to Blackpool, which was about an hour and a half away.

And my driving is legend, and so is the inability to find wherever I'm going. And nothing has changed except it's got worse. You know, I told you about this new-fangled thing where there's a lady called Siri, and you can ask her where you are. I was so excited. So I tested it about three weeks ago because I got lost just in my neighborhood where I've lived for years now. And so I'm trying to find somewhere and I ask Siri, "Where am I?" And she tells me!

So then I say, "But where should I be?" And she was silent, so she's not God, right? Anyway. So here I am. Somebody gives me a little map to get to Blackpool and speak at a church. And they are sincere, they are absolutely sincere, but they are sincerely wrong. That's all. But I don't know that.

So they say go straight towards Blackpool towards the sea, you'll see the sea, and there's a little road, just go as far as you can till your car is nearly in the water and turn right. You'll see it, but you'll have to get right down there. And so I did, and there was no lights or anything. And I thought, "I can't see a road." And then suddenly here it was, and there was a hedge, but there was a way round it onto this little road.

And I could see the road. And so I get onto this road and I'm going and I thought, "This is a weird road." And then in my in my mirror, there are headlights behind me and I look ahead and there are headlights in front of me and they're sort of high, and I'm on the tram track! But the problem was there's now a hedge this side of me and that side of me. So the tram behind me on electric cables, you know, is is coming pretty fast. And and I think, "Well, I can go faster than he can."

And then suddenly across the hedge come lights of a police car who have seen this. And so very naughty me but I think, "Well, there's nothing to stop me on the tram track, there's a lot to stop him." So I put my foot down and I just go thinking I can get off the tram track at the station coming up. And so sure enough, he has to stop the traffic lights, which he does, and I roar into the station where there are people very interested waiting for the tram.

And here I come in the car. So I go through the station and there's, thank the Lord, a place to get off. So I get off and here's the policeman. So he comes over and he says, "Never, never in my life." So we have this little conversation. He says, "I'll have to fine you." And I said, "Officer, where does it say in your book that you're not allowed to go 80 miles an hour on a tram track?"

But that didn't work. So in the end he said, "Where are you going?" And I said, "To church." Oh dear. Actually he said, "Follow me, where is this church?" And so he took me and actually he took me to the wrong place and it was a Masonic Hall, but I didn't know that. So I walk in and they're waiting for something and I appear to the whole thing gets worse and worse and worse and worse.

But the whole point is they were sincere but they were sincerely wrong. I had the map, I had their word, this is the right way. And you know what's so sad? People aren't on the wrong track which leads to destruction for deliberate reasons. It's just that they have believed somebody who is sincere that believes something that is wrong. And that's all.

And how we can help those people is to get to know them well enough and make friends with them and show them from the Word that there is a right way and a wrong way and there is only one way that they have to get on that track. And if they do, then they'll get to the right place. They'll get to the everlasting heaven, won't they?

So what are we going to do with this sort of person that is not naughty but numb, that's drifted—the drifter? That's probably 90 percent of the people I know have just drifted away from their moorings. They are not anti-God. They still would say, "I love the Lord, I think. I do know the Lord. It's just, it's just that it isn't as all-important to me as it was."

And we’ll attend to that in the next lecture because it marries what I'm going to talk about. I'm going to talk about how shall a young man cleanse his way, the next piece of Psalm 119. By taking heed thereto according to thy word. Thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee. How do we stay on track? How do we not get distracted? How do we not drift?

How do we come to life again if we're just numb? What happens if my only problem is I don't feel anything anymore? It's as if I'm asleep. And you know what? Living in the Word can attend to all those things. Over and over again it says, "I'll renew you. I'll set you on fire. My Word is sweet. My Word is powerful. My Word is life. It's life, folks! It's life!" Think you're living? This is life!

And how does that happen? I was down in the basement trying to reorganize some things three days ago. And I found a box that I hadn't moved 20 years ago when we moved. And I'd never unpacked it from the move. And it's simply my scribble books. There must be, I would say, 50 of them. And they go from 1970 when we came here to 1977. All in a box. I'd forgotten all about them.

And so I just put my hand in and pulled out one and found out it was 1977. And this is my conversations. This is the verse of scripture that was relevant to me. There's very little commentary. But I was caught as I flipped through it with a cancer scare that happened to me seven years after we immigrated here to Brookfield. The children were 17, 15, 14, perhaps, when this happened.

And I began to just read the verses of scripture. And they go—that's how much I lived in the Word when this began in 1977. And a test showed positive. I happened to be in Psalm 119. And this is all verses from Psalm 119. And on the 12th of December it says I went in for an operation and it was successful. That's the end of it. Christmas Day I came out of hospital and God had taken care of it with the skill of the doctors.

And as I read it, I just cried. It's just so amazing. Even down to I used to be very frightened of anesthetic, of being put out, because I had a horrible experience in a dentist's chair as a child of an anesthetic that didn't work. And so I've always been frightened of being put out. I hate that.

I read, God will be with you in your going out and coming in. And I looked up those words and said to Dr. Jim who was there with me, "I'm frightened of the being put out." But this is what God gave me today. And he said, "That's exactly a description of what's—your going out and your coming in." Down to absolutely everything and then my release on—and I lived in the Word. I lived in this Psalm. And I'd forgotten all about it until I found this book.

If you live in my Word, you'll surely be my disciple. You will know the truth and the truth will set you free from fear. And if my fears had been realized, from the fear of dying. I don't have a fear of what's after it, it's just getting there, right? From my fear of that, He'll release you.

So will you ponder? Will you promise Him? From now on, I'm going to figure it out. And then you'll write it in books and emails and letters, you'll have coffee with people, and that will be the most meaningful thing you can do to teach people how to live in the Word.

Pray with me. Heavenly Father, I thank you for the richness that this study has given me these last few weeks as you have reminded me anew to live in your Word. Your Word is light. Your Word is sweet. Your Word is dynamite. Your Word is Jesus.

Lord, I praise you for this stillness, this present presence in the midst of the mysteries of God. That we little people, we weak people, we sinful people, we drifters can know God. The written and the living Word was made flesh and dwelt amongst us.

And Lord, I pray for everyone listening all over the world that perhaps have got off track sincerely. Need to get back, and I pray that everywhere where people are today on this little spinning globe that you made, may climb into that silence right here right now and may come back to you or come to you for the first time perhaps and say, "Lord, help me to know what it is to live in your Word and to know the truth that the truth might set me free."

So we would learn how to be still and know that you are God, Lord. Jesus' name, Amen.