Somebody Loves You

Raul Ries: If you don't have peace in your life, then you need to really wait on the Lord. Don't go out and do something stupid. You wait on God to do what He wants to do in my life, in my marriage, or my singleness of life. Waiting to make sure that I have peace with God and my life is complete in Christ Jesus, because I want to be usable, I don't want to be on the shelf and not be used by God.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Somebody Loves You radio, the Bible teaching ministry of Raul Ries in Diamond Bar, California. As we begin another message in our 1st Corinthians series, Raul will challenge you to uphold your marriage vows and not give in to adulterous temptations.

Raul will explain that as a believer, you are a temple of the living God, called to holiness and obedience. God's desire is for you and your spouse to stay together for a lifetime. With part one of our study, Problems Relating to Marriage and Singleness, here's Raul Ries.

Raul Ries: If you have your Bibles, turn to the book of 1st Corinthians chapter seven. Paul the Apostle, in chapter seven, really deals with the problem relating to marriage in the Corinthian church. They were a very sexual, active church. There were those that were not married, they had a thousand prostitutes in the city of Corinth. And even those that were married were being affected by it because every single night, those 1000 prostitutes would come down to the town and would begin to seduce the men of the city, Christian and non-Christian.

Probably many of those Christians fell into sin because of temptation. And one of the things about being involved with another woman or another man—one of the things, I was working for this company and not only in the grocery store you're really working with people and there's a lot of lonely women out there that come and talk to you about their problems and situations. For the first four and a half years of my marriage, because me and my wife were having a little situations, I committed adultery on her. I went ahead and was unfaithful.

After four and a half years, when I got saved, I really learned how I had hurt my wife. I hurt her tremendously. And I had to apologize and I had to ask her to forgive me, but number one, God to forgive me. Before you come to Christ, these are the things that we do. But when you come to Christ with the knowledge and the wisdom that God gives you, and if you're reading the Bible and you're in the church and you continue to do those things, then God will have to chasten you.

Chasten you. And if you don't listen, then you're going to have to be judged. And you have to understand that one day, not only will you stand before God, but Paul the Apostle in this great letter of Corinthians in chapter three, in verses 16 through 17, he says, "Know you not that you are the temple of the living God and if any man defile the temple of God, God himself shall destroy that person."

When you look into the mirror, whether you're young or old doesn't really matter. What you see in the mirror is the child of God, that's only the outward form. Inside of you is where God dwells and God lives and the Bible says that now your temple, your body has become the temple of the Holy Spirit. In the actual Greek, it says you become the Holiest of Holies, like in the Old Testament, where the priest could only go in once a year where the Ark of the Covenant and the presence of God was there.

And if any priest would go in with sin in his life, they would tie a rope to his right ankle and if he had any sin in his life, those pomegranate bells would stop ringing and then they knew something had happened so they wouldn't even dare to go in because he would get once a year. So they'd pick that rope up and pull the guy out if he was dead. They were afraid to be stricken by God. Think that was in the Old Testament Law. We're living in a time of grace now.

And Paul says that we truly are the temple of the living God. It's the Holiest of Holies where God lives and Paul told us in chapter five and chapter six of 1st Corinthians that any person, young or old, single or married, that continues to practice those such things as fornication, adultery, lying, and homosexuality, lesbianism, will not inherit the kingdom of God. Will not. Very clear in the Word of God.

So if you're here tonight, and if they're not here tonight, when the message gets out, it's very important they understand that God's Word is very clear, everyone is without excuse. The problem is the word lust. Lusting after the things that you cannot have and trying to be possessed by those things that will destroy you and eventually will put you on the shelf.

Think of how many Christians today, when you walk into a library, sometimes you go on those shelves to get a book and the book has been sitting on that shelf so long that when you actually pick it out of the shelf, it's full of dust. Sometimes people's lives becomes like that book that is never used and just collects dust. Why? Because you've been disqualified by God.

And I think of how many pastors I've seen and assistant pastors and people involved in ministry that have been disqualified because they couldn't maintain their holiness to God through drinking, drugs, and sex. And money and power and pride. All those things that have destroyed people of God.

So Paul being an expert in the Word of God and being a Jew and at one time being in the Sanhedrin, and to be in the Sanhedrin among the 72 scholars and also those that know the Word of God, he was married at one time according to the Sanhedrin. But somehow history tells us that either his wife left him because of Christ and she got fed up with it, or his wife died and he became a widow. All the way through writing his letter he's a single man.

And Paul all of his life not only struggled probably in his flesh, but he constantly talks about beating down his flesh, giving himself black eyes to keep himself down unless he would be disqualified from the service that God had called him to do. And that's what pastors do and men of God do and sheep and lambs in the church, you get disqualified when you can't keep the rules. You get disqualified. God can't use you and He won't use you until you repent and until you get right with God.

Very important to know that. That's why here in chapter seven in the first nine verses, he deals with sexuality among the Christians and he starts out in verse one, "Remember now concerning the things which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman." He starts saying by what? By touching her sexually. It's not good. It will destroy you, it will mark you.

Think of how many times these young guys and young women that have intimate moments together, when they separate, notice the guilt they carry in their minds and in their hearts. And as a child of God, think of the accusation Satan comes and tries to condemn you for what you did. When you're really truly sorry for what you did and you come to God in true confession and true repentance, the blood of Jesus Christ will wipe away all of your sins.

But if you continue in your sin, there's no remorse, there's no repentance. So then if you're a Christian, then God has to chasten you because He loves you and as a father loves his children, what does He do? He disciplines them and He will discipline you. You say, "How does God discipline you?" Well, I've seen guys get thrown in the freeway out of their cars, get run over, fall off a building or something like that. God has many ways of doing that.

It's really important that you understand that God loves you like a father and He's not going to let you get away with sin. Christians can't get away with sin. Non-believers either, they think they are, but there's a day of judgment coming. They forget about that. So Paul here is trying to warn the church in Corinth because Corinth was a very sexual active city. I've been there five times, it's amazing city when you see it today. And 1000 prostitutes every night would come down from the hill down to the city and seduce the people. Young and old to come and commit adultery and fornication with them.

So look what Paul says now beginning there after verse nine. He says in verse nine, "But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn in the lust of your passions." Notice that. If you're single and you don't have the gift of singleness, then you better get married. You better get married and you better wait up on God to bring you the person that He wants you or you're going to be miserable.

Bottom line. You know how many people I counsel within this church that have that problem? That problem. They go out in a moment of emotion, they meet this girl online or they meet her somewhere else and they start talking and they start going out to lunch together and they start building a relationship, they get married and they haven't even got to know each other fully complete, they haven't even prayed.

And sometimes without even prayer they start out in the wrong foot by having sexual relationships and then they want to get married. And I won't marry them until they separate for six months, get into the Word of God and they repent, then I will marry them when I see a change. Very important to understand because marriage is a sacred thing. Remember what it says in Malachi chapter three, "God hates divorce." And look at the divorce of the church today.

I know a guy right now that has been married five times, he's getting ready to get his next divorce and marry a sixth person. Think about that. No fear of God. And there's a lot of people within the church and churches that have been married twice, thrice, four times and going into their fifth marriage. And yet you call yourself a Christian and at the same time, if you know God's Word, to much is given, much more will be required on the Day of Judgment.

Think about that. When you come from the world into the Lord Jesus Christ, what you did in the world is forgiven, forgotten, but when you start as a Christian and you continue to do things that are not right, you will be judged. You will be judged by God. So it's really important that we get the Word of God, we believe it and we live by it.

Because remember he said in verse eight, "But I say unto the unmarried, those that are not married, single, and to the widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am single." But if you can't be single, then you need to start to pray for God to bring you the person that He wants you to have, not who you want to have.

And sometimes we're not content with that and yet God knows what He's doing because He wants to bless you and He wants to use your life. Listen, this is one of the things I've seen. If you get a woman that is in love with herself, you're going to have big problems. And the guy too, seriously. As a child of God, you should be looking for someone number one that loves Jesus Christ with all their hearts and all their might. If they don't have God first in their lives, forget it. You'll get yourself in a big mess.

Because sometimes what happens is people make promises. You start seeing them come to church and I've seen people like that. They come to church because they're kind of looking around to see who they can have or who they want to get to. You know what I'm saying? And at the same time, that's not of the Lord. When the Lord, it says in the book of Genesis chapter two beginning verse 18, that actually Adam in the Garden of Eden, he was the only one that God had created.

And he wasn't looking for a woman, God was the one that saw the emptiness in his heart. And what did God do? He put him into a deep sleep, and God brought the woman to him. He didn't go out looking for a woman. Men, if we could learn those lessons we would stay out of trouble. There would be less divorces, less separations, less adultery.

Because imagine how that is, I mean, I counsel with people all the time. They just got married six weeks ago, eight weeks ago, one month, two, three months, and already this guy's married and then he goes out and commits adultery or she commits adultery and the marriage is ruined because now she won't forgive him or he won't forgive her.

And yet Paul gives us great, great counsel. Look what he's going to say now tonight beginning in verse 10. This is pretty heavy. And this is now he's going to deal with the problem of divorce in the church. He says, "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord," underline that. This is what God says, not Paul. This is what God says. "A wife is not to depart from her husband." That means she's not to divorce. The word depart is divorce.

Now there are cases in a marriage where you're not getting along. We read that in the beginning, remember, where the person, husband and wife, they separate and to give themselves to prayer and fasting and if they get tempted, they need to come back to each other, reconcile before they commit adultery. God gives us instructions how to do it. But because people become hard-hearted and they want to hurt the other person, then they go out and do stupid things.

But here Paul says, "This is what the Lord says." The Lord said this in Mark chapter 10 verse 2 to 12, Matthew chapter 5:32 where he says that God hates divorce. When you get married, until death do us part. So help me God, I do. You're taking the pledge, especially if you're a Christian. I'm not talking to non-believers. Christians, the church.

And it's really important that you understand that he's talking about a wife that wants to divorce her husband. He says, "A wife is not to divorce from her husband." Verse 11, "But even if she does depart, she divorces, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband, and a husband is not to divorce his wife." Now the reason he says that is because Jesus said it in Matthew chapter 5:32—that if a husband goes out and commits adultery, he's a Christian, and the wife finds out that he's committed adultery so he comes back and he says, "You know what, honey? I'm so sorry. I sinned against God. I really hurt you and I want you to forgive me." She has the legal right as he has the legal right if it's vice-versa, to say, "You know what? I forgive you and I'm going to stay with you."

Or she has and he has the legal right to say, "You know what? I'm going to divorce you." Pretty heavy, huh? That's what Jesus said. As a Christian you have to have the balance. The balance concerning marriage and divorce, knowing that God hates divorce and He says later on in the scripture that if you divorce your husband or your wife in the Lord, you're to stay single and only marry in the Lord. But if you're single and you have the gift of singleness, hey, that's greater than anything else. Don't get married then, serve the Lord with all your heart like Paul did.

So here he wants us to understand that Jesus here had forbidden divorce in Matthew 19 and Matthew 5:32, 19:9. He talks about how God totally does not allow divorce unless there is adultery and then there's forgiveness and reconciliation or if this is an enduring process then the person that is not guilty has the freedom to divorce that person and then to get remarried again.

But if there's no adultery in the marriage and you divorce that person, then according to the grace of God and according to the Word of God, if you marry again like that without any fornication or adultery, then he says you're marrying and you're in the actual act of adultery. Read your Bibles. People don't like to hear that. Pretty heavy. You're having a marriage in adultery because the only breaking of a marriage is adultery, Jesus said.

What about if my husband's beating me? Well, time of separation to see what God will do and if it doesn't change, then you can divorce them. You're not a punching bag. You're not there to be a verbal abuser. There's other reasons. And that's why it's really important to know God's Word and to pray for peace in your life. People come to me and say, "Well, have you prayed about it? Do you have peace in your life?"

If you don't have peace in your life, then you need to really wait on the Lord. Don't go out and do something stupid. You wait on God to do what He wants to do in my life, in my marriage, or my singleness of life. Waiting to make sure that I have peace with God and my life is complete in Christ Jesus, because I want to be usable, I don't want to be on the shelf and not be used by God. I don't want to hurt my kids, I don't want to hurt my grandkids, I don't want to hurt anybody else.

There was a pastor that for 20-some years in his church was teaching, preaching, church was growing and then 28 years later he gets found out that within his church, number one, he's been on drugs, he's been drinking and at the same time there's about eight or ten women in his church that he has committed adultery with. And you say, "Wait a minute, he was preaching, teaching and his church was growing." Well, it's not because of him, it's because of the Holy Spirit.

It's not about us, it's about the Holy Spirit. Did people get hurt? You bet they got hurt when they found out. They found out he was a hypocrite. So you really have to be careful and not pretend. Think of how many people drive into this parking lot every Sunday, every Wednesday, Sunday nights, and I watch from my little window and I see them arguing whatever it is and then when they get into church, they're all smiles. This is the way the church is.

And yet think of your children. They're in the backseat listening to you if you're cussing out your wife or you're striking your wife or you're threatening your wife. You think your kids are going to respect you and they're going to have peace in their lives? There's no possible way. And so it's really important that if you're a child of God and you're a Christian, you need to really have peace with God and in your home and you need husbands to be the spiritual leaders of your home.

Don't be wimps. You need to pray with your wife, you need to read with your wife, you need to be with your children. Not be one of those guys that comes home and just watches TV and never helps his wife in the home. It's real important that there's a real marriage, a real marriage in the home. If you're going to be a Christian then be married number one to the Lord Jesus Christ and then be married to your husband and to your wife. And then God will bless you.

And think of all the problems we find today with homosexuality, lesbianism. And yet the Bible is so clear in the Old Testament as it is in the New Testament. He says in the Old Testament anybody that was a homosexual or lesbian, fornicator, or whatever it would be—even bestiality, those that would have intercourse with animals—they would be killed, they would be stoned to death immediately. Commit adultery, you'd be killed.

And that's why in the New Testament, the same things the Lord says, those that continue after coming out of the world and continue to do these things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Shall not, you're only kidding yourself. Shall not. I think of the last day when Jesus Christ judges and I wonder how many truly—not just us, I'm talking about the church—when the Lord comes for His church, I wonder how many true Christians are going to depart and how many are going to be left behind because they were not ready. You say, "Well, how do you know that?" By the way you live. The Bible's so clear.

Guest (Male): Whether you've been married many years or you're waiting on God for a spouse, we hope today's study has been a challenge for you to order your life according to His Word, following Him each day in righteousness. You're listening to Somebody Loves You radio with Raul Ries.

Today's study was titled Problems Relating to Marriage and Singleness. For an unedited copy, just call us at 800-634-9165 and for a donation of five dollars or more, we'll send a copy to you. Now, to equip you with additional direction for blessing the Lord with obedience, we'd like to tell you more about Raul's 11-part series, Unity, Holiness, and Love, available on CD and USB. This study zeroes in on practical ways you can live out your faith into your relationships, your financial management, your service to others, and much more.

Visit somebodylovesyou.com or call 800-634-9165 to purchase Unity, Holiness, and Love. We'll send you Raul's 11-message study on CD for twenty-three dollars, or if you prefer on flash drive for just fourteen. That's 800-634-9165. Or write to Somebody Loves You radio, PO Box 4440, Diamond Bar, California 91765.

Raul is happy to respond to your Bible questions and prayer requests when you email him at pastorraul@somebodylovesyou.com. And you'll also want to check out Raul's Straight Talk program on the Somebody Loves You worldwide YouTube channel, which airs every Tuesday at 10:00 a.m. West Coast time. This channel also features podcasts of all previously aired programs.

Thank you for your partnership in this listener-supported ministry. Every gift enables us to keep sharing the wisdom of God's Word. Tune in with us next time as we continue this series with a look at more biblical instructions for marriage. Exploring what God says about separation, divorce, and marrying a non-believer, you'll learn more about trusting the Lord with your heart as you commit to obeying His commands. That's next time on Somebody Loves You radio.

Guest (Male): This program is sponsored by Somebody Loves You radio in Diamond Bar, California.