Somebody Loves You

Raul Ries: As the body of Jesus Christ, we need to exhort one another. That marriage is good and honorable in the presence of God and man. And God wants us to love our wives. And God wants us to love our husbands and to love our children and to do what is right in the eyes of God. But as far as divorce is there, God hates divorce.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Somebody Loves You Radio, the Bible teaching ministry of Raul Ries in Diamond Bar, California. Well, as we press forward in our study of God's blueprints for marriage, Raul will explore the Bible's stance on divorce.

While marriage breakups have been commonplace among modern believers, we'll see that God hasn't wavered in His desire for the husband-wife commitment to last for a lifetime. Stay with us for a challenge to be consistent about working on your relationship with your spouse. Here's Raul Ries.

Raul Ries: We want to look this morning at this great chapter of the book of Matthew, chapter 19, where Jesus is teaching on the subject of marriage and divorce. A pretty amazing subject or topic that Jesus is discussing with the Pharisees.

Now, the reason that we've chosen in the last couple of weeks to teach on marriage is because of all of the problems that are going on in marriages today in the church. Not only in this church but it seems like every church is going through great, great things concerning husband and wife.

We must understand what the Bible teaches. First of all, God has not called any one of us to condemnation. In Romans 8:1, it says, "Therefore now there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus."

Secondly, we need to understand whether we were Christians or non-Christians, we spoke those words where we made our commitment and said, "For better, for worse and until death do us part, so help me God, I do." What does the Bible say about divorce? Does God allow people to divorce?

What did God say about the institution of marriage in the scriptures? And yet, when we look at these questions and we have to answer them this morning, I think that it's very proper to see in the 19th chapter of the book of Matthew that as Jesus is being also entrapped by the Pharisees and the Sadducees concerning marriage and divorce.

Why don't you turn with me to the 19th chapter of the book of Matthew beginning with verse one? We will read: "And now it came to pass when Jesus had finished these sayings, that he departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And then a great multitude followed him and he healed them there. And then the Pharisees also came to him," and notice the word, "testing him and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"

Now why would they ask—these are the religious leaders of that time—why would they want to ask this question knowing what the Bible teaches? They were supposed to be men of the Bible. They knew about Deuteronomy 24, what Moses had said about marriage and divorce. But you see, they were trying to entrap Jesus because they were trying to compromise in the word of God.

I believe that there's a lot of people like that today. Things haven't changed in 1900 years. People are always looking for an excuse or a loophole. How can I get rid of my partner? I don't love them anymore, I don't want them anymore in my life, I found somebody else better than them. But I want to ask you the question: what does the Bible say? Marriage is a very sacred thing.

And yet, in the size of this congregation and as we go outside of these walls, you know and I know there are many that have not been faithful to their wives or to their husbands. There has been adultery. Some of you might be in adultery right now.

And yet, what I see is there's no fear of God, no respect for the word of God. People are self-willed. And yet, we forget one thing: that one day we're going to stand in the presence of God. We're going to have to give an account of our lives.

And so we have this family unit that today is not only being destroyed and actually being forced out of society. And yet, we need to come back to the word of God. That's the foundation that God has called us to obey.

It seems that the Pharisees were testing Jesus and they were actually asking a question of excuse: "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife," and notice, "for just any reason?" Any reason at all? Then Jesus in verse four said, and he answered and said unto them, "Have you guys not read that he who made them at the beginning made male and female?" Hey, you are a teacher. Don't you know the word of God?

See, they were not going back to the book of Genesis, chapter two, where God instituted marriage. Way before the law was given in Exodus, chapter 20. Even before Deuteronomy 24 was written. You see, the foundation to marriage is not in Deuteronomy or Exodus. The foundation is in Genesis, chapter two, verse 18 to the end of the chapter where God established Adam and Eve to become husband and wife together.

And so Jesus tells them plainly, it was a divine appointment union between a man and a woman at the beginning of time. Verse five, notice now a physical union too: "And then he said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall be glued unto his wife and the two now shall become one unit."

You see, one flesh. Not two distinct people. One unit, united together in God's love. Glued by the Holy Spirit. Verse six, we are called not only to a physical union but also to a permanent union. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.

Therefore, here it is: what God has joined together let no man divorce. Literally, let no man separate what God has instituted. And yet, divorce is an upscale today. 65% of the church is divorcing. Just as many as in the world.

And then, of course, in verse seven, it's the great challenging question. Then they said unto him, because you might be saying this: "Well, why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away?" Then why did Moses allow divorce in the Old Testament?

You see, they're trying to entrap Jesus and they're trying to say that Moses and Jesus are contradicting the word of God. That's not true. That would never happen. So he's going to tell them, verse eight: "Then he said unto them, Listen, Moses did this because of the hardness of your hearts." There's the problem.

You see, there is the problem. People's hearts are hardened. That's why in Deuteronomy 24:1-4, Jesus gave the opportunity in the Old Testament to Moses that if a person divorced his wife, there was the cause of divorce, but it was not so from the beginning of time.

But at the same time, why? Because look what Jesus continues to say: "And Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, permitted you." You see, it wasn't a command. By permission only. "Permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so." This was never so from God's point of view.

"And I say unto you, that whoever divorces his wife except," there it is, "except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery. And whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery also." Those are heavy words.

If you already find yourself in a divorce, you already are remarried—hey, you know what? Listen to what God says to you now because you want to make sure you're accountable not to go into a third marriage or a fourth marriage.

You see, Jesus was there and the Pharisees had come to tempt him or to test him. They were after him, trying to put him in opposition to the Mosaic law when he was the one that gave the Mosaic law to Moses.

And they brought a problem which is just as difficult today as it was then: "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?" You see, for every cause. And that is an equally lived issue among Christians today.

God has given all mankind certain things for the welfare of the human family. For instance, he has given marriage for the procreation of the home or for the protection of the home and for a husband and wife to procreate, to have children.

Marriage is something that God not only has given to be a blessing to mankind—not only to the saved but to the unsaved. To the unsaved, those that do not know Jesus Christ. Marriage is to be respected.

God has a law. Now, a lot of times we don't like God's laws, but at the same time he tells us that if we don't obey his laws, then we're going to reap the consequences of our sin. That is, we reap what we sow. We reap what we sow.

And yet, God has commanded us that God's high order is God's institution of marriage: a husband and a wife to have children and to have the home. God instituted it and we saw that last week in Genesis, chapter two.

Secondly, marriage is an honorable thing to all. In Hebrews 13:4, it says, "Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled, but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." You see, you cannot escape the judgment of God, whether you're a non-believer or a believer, it doesn't matter.

And then thirdly, marriage is a permanent bond. A permanent bond. Again here in Matthew 19:6, he said what? He says, "So then they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate or divorce."

And fourthly, marriage is an intimate bond between a husband and a wife. In Matthew 19:5, he said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be glued unto his wife and the two shall become one flesh."

And then marriage, of course, is a blessing for procreation, to have children. And that's found in Genesis 1:27 and 28. And then marriage can only be dissolved—listen—can only be dissolved through death.

Romans 7:2 and 3 says, "For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law of God to her husband as long as she lives or as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, then she is released from the law of her husband."

So then, if her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is free from the law so that she is no longer an adulteress and she can marry another man in the Lord. You see, God speaks the truth.

Then we know for sure also that marriage is a means of sexual love between a husband and a wife. We are warned to be careful of adultery and Solomon knew a lot about this in Proverbs 5:15.

He says, "Drink water from your own cisterns and running water from your own well. Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets?" That's going to prostitutes. "Let them be only your own and not for strangers with you."

"Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times and always be enraptured with her love." That's God's perfect will.

That's why Jesus would say you better be careful before you get married, that you count the cost before you ever think of filing for a divorce. Be careful. Then you have again in the book of Matthew in chapter 5, verse 31 and 32, in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaching about divorce and marriage.

He says, "Furthermore, it has been said in the Old Testament, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce." That is to unslave that woman or that man so she would be free to get married again, especially in that culture women were hated.

"But I say unto you," here's what Jesus said. This was in the Old Testament, but this is New Testament theology. "But I say unto you, that whosoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries that woman, he will be in adultery."

You see, those are the words of Jesus. We have to be careful how we teach and how we live our lives. Because people today, like the Pharisees, like in the time of Moses, people are looking for loopholes to divorce their partners. And yet, let me say this, what the Bible says: God hates divorce.

And yet, Solomon in not only having a thousand women in his life—he had 300 plus 700, a thousand women in his life—he wrote the book of Proverbs and he's writing to his sons and he tells his sons, be careful with the immoral woman.

They will try to seduce you and try to take you away from your husband or to try to seduce you as a single person. In Proverbs 5:16 he says, "Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, not for strangers with you."

"Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth as a loving deer and a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times and always be enraptured with her love." And here it is: "For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman and be embraced in the arms of a seductress?" Notice what he says.

And the Bible warns us when you go to the gym, when you go to the job, when you go to the supermarket, that you're going to run into these seductress people that are trying to seduce you to make you fall. They're Satan's tools of destruction to destroy the family, to destroy your marriage.

And yet Solomon said, "For why should you, my son, be enraptured by the immoral woman and be embraced in the arms of a seductress? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord and he ponders and all his paths God sees it."

"His own iniquities entrap the wicked man and he is caught by the cords of his sin, and he shall die because he lacks instruction and in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray." You see, you've got to watch out, you've got to be careful. You've got to check your heart.

If you're married and you're having problems in your marriage, what's the first thing you should do? You should seek the mind of the Lord. You should give yourselves—Paul says, if you're having a little bit of difficulty in your marriage, then there's a time of separation.

You see, separation. You mean legal separation? Wait, let me give you biblical separation, okay? I say biblical separation. In 1st Corinthians chapter 7, verse 1, he says, "Now concerning these things of which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman sexually."

"Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband." That's how you'll keep yourself from what? From adultery. "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due to her and likewise also the wife to her husband."

See, my body doesn't belong to me now, my body belongs to God but my body belongs to my wife and her body belongs to me. That's what Paul is saying. Because he doesn't want you to get tempted.

Why? Because if a wife says, "Well, you know what? You're not going to touch me now." So what happens to the guy? Look what he says. "So then," he says, "let the husband render to the wife and the wife to the husband. Then the wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does."

And guys are going to say, "Amen!" Wait, wait a minute. Let's go on. That's just half a scripture. "And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body but his wife does." You see, both people.

But then check this out, this is pretty cool: "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time." Okay, we're having problems or we're praying about something, why don't we give ourselves a time of prayer and fasting and we're not going to do anything sexually? See how we're instructed in the word of God?

I'm going to work on my marriage. I'm not going to go get a separation or a divorce. Hey, let's separate in prayer and fast. And by the way, before we separate, listen to what the scripture says. He says what?

Before we pray and fast, if in the matter of that time if we're praying and fasting and let's say that I'm getting tempted or you're getting tempted, instead of falling, what do we do? We break prayer and fast and we come together sexually because we're husband and wife. That will keep us from adultery.

Look what the scripture says. Here it is, verse five: "Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and then come together again so that," notice, "so that Satan doesn't tempt you because of your lack of self-control." You see? We have to be careful with Satan's schemes, especially when you are separated from your wife.