Somebody Loves You

Raul Ries: It's not easy to be married, but you have to get on your knees and you have to pray and you have to communicate. You have to come to the conclusion, hey, for me and my house, we're going to serve the Lord. We don't care what the world does. We're going to stand according to the Word of God, and we're going to do what's right in the eyes of the Lord. Bottom line, that's what the Bible teaches.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Somebody Loves You Radio, the Bible teaching ministry of Raul Ries in Diamond Bar, California. Thank you for joining us for the conclusion of our series, Challenging and Inspiring Christian Fathers. Today, Raul will encourage you to ground your life on the bedrock of God's Word so that you can effectively lead your family, loving them with the Lord's love and training them in His ways.

We hope you'll follow along today as Raul shows how nurturing an environment of genuine faith will help you avoid fractures in your home. Today's lesson is A Father's Priority. In Proverbs chapter four, here's Raul Ries.

Raul Ries: One of the things that is lacking today in the church and in America is the leadership of the male in the home. Real important factor today. When you think of men, especially with all of the situations and problems that America is facing and the world today, when you look at television and you look at the commercials, it seems like the women are always making men look stupid, and the men are real weak.

But that's not from the beginning of time. It's really important that we understand that the reason the female begins to take over the home is when the male's absence is in the home—the authority of the man in the home. Especially with the situation and problems we have today with divorce, so many divorces in the church and outside of the church.

It's really important that you understand that if you're married and you have children and you divorce your husband or you divorce your wife, and you go into another marriage, it will cause friction. It will cause problems because what's happening is you're going from one marriage into another marriage, and a lot of times you carry the old baggage into the new marriage. It really becomes a problem to the second marriage.

One of the things is that if you were not divorced before you came to Christ, and then you come to Christ in your marriage, then the Bible says in the book of Malachi chapter two that God hates divorce. God hates it. As a matter of fact, when you read the Proverbs, you learn so much in the Proverbs. Let me read to you this morning from Proverbs chapter four, beginning in verse one.

He says, "Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, and give attention to know understanding; for I give you good doctrine: do not forsake my law. When I was my father's son, tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, he also taught me, and said to me: Let your heart retain my words; keep my commands, and live."

So here is a father teaching his children. What's really important is that one of the greatest problems in the church today, one of the greatest problems in the world today, is the absence of fathers in the home. The other problem that I see as I look at the church and I look at the world is that because we want to have things, then the woman goes to work, and now the children are left without a mother and without a father's instruction.

It's really important that if your wife doesn't have to work, let her stay home with her children. That's what God called them to do—to take care of the home. God has called the man to work, to be the provider of the home. It's really important because when you look today at homes that are breaking up and they're going through difficulty and problems, it's because the man hasn't taken the authority that God has given to him to be the man of the home.

That's a problem today in many, many homes. So when the children see that the father doesn't respect the mother—verbal abuse, physical abuse, name-calling—and at the same time, there's adultery in the marriage and all of a sudden they're filing for a divorce, then the family becomes separated. Now what you have is bitterness in the home, and you have many, many problems to come in the future with the children. That's just the way it is.

That's why churches are messed up today. Homes are messed up. We need to understand what God declares in order to be a father. Number one, God desires that men would be what? Born again of the Holy Spirit of God, which means what? Matthew 6:33: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you."

God has to be first in order for you to be the head of your home. You see right away men begin to bring in the whole factor, "Well, you know, my wife won't submit. She won't submit to me." Well, I don't know if men really understand the word submit. It means *hupotasso* in the Greek. It's a military term. It means to be underneath the orders of a general or the one in authority.

God calls both men and women to be underneath the authority of God. But when you have two people that are striving and fighting and dividing their home, you're going to get chaos in the home, and there's not going to be any respect. Think of how many children are struggling today because of mom and dad in the home, because the father won't take the leadership of his home.

But if you are a Christian, the Bible says to much is given, much more will be required. One thing you've got to understand: you're going to stand before God, I'm going to stand before God, and we're going to have to give an account to God for our wives and our children and our grand and great-grandchildren one day. It's really important that we understand the calling of God in the life of man.

The first thing He calls you to do is to seek ye first the kingdom of God, to know Him intimately. That means you need to spend time in the Word and in prayer. You need to make time. Otherwise, what can you give to your family? Nothing. You can come to church every Sunday and still get nothing. You've got to be a doer of the Word of God. You've got to practice what you preach, otherwise you're a hypocrite, and you won't have any respect from your family or God.

It's really important for me as a man to understand that if I have children, and one day I will be a grandfather and have grandchildren, I still need to be the spiritual head of my home. In the Old Testament, when you go back to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, not the father, the sons always came to the fathers to ask for counsel and wisdom. Why? Because they were respected as men of God.

They honored their word when they made decisions for the family. Today, the families everywhere split. It's really important that you understand that if your family is not together, then Satan is going to have a field day on your family. Think how today people don't want to take the responsibility to be parents, especially among men today.

Men are out working, playing around, and doing this and doing that. I'm amazed on Saturday mornings how many men are at the golf course and during the week, or whatever your hobby is. So it's really important that we understand that God has set up the model. The model number one is that the husband needs to seek ye first the kingdom of God.

Secondly, fathers need, listen to me, to love their wives and their children. How do you love them? By being with them, by teaching them, by praying with them, reading with them, making yourself available to them when you come home from work—not plowing down yourself and watching television all night long or something else. You're responsible.

It's really important that you understand that a lot of times parents are too lenient. I'm not saying beat your kids, but you have to read the Proverbs in order to learn what the Bible teaches about raising children and how to discipline them. All the way to the New Testament, Ephesians chapter five, it tells you what husbands, how to love your wives over and over.

In verses previous to that, it starts with wives, but it starts like this: submitting yourselves to one another in the fear of God. The word to submit, *hupotasso*, underneath the presence of God. The wife will never, ever submit to her husband as long as the husband doesn't love his wife. Period. Bottom line. You'll never be respected by your wife or by your children, and God will not honor you.

God has spoken through His Word. He's told us what a woman needs to do, what a man needs to do. When a husband loves his wife, the wife submits to her husband. If not, she has a big problem. But it's always in love. It's not by demeaning or being mean to her or beating her or pushing her around or cussing her out or doing whatever you do—verbal or physical abuse. That's not the way to do it. That's a good way to put yourself in jail.

Guest (Male): You're listening to Somebody Loves You Radio with Raul Ries. For Bible-rich resources to deepen and direct your faith, visit us anytime at somebodylovesyou.com. You can also download our free app for live-streamed Bible teaching and digital studies to enrich your own personal devotions. Now, here's more with Raul Ries and our study, A Father's Priority.

Raul Ries: It's really important that we understand that as men, God is looking to us to be the leaders of our country and the leaders of our nation and the leaders of the church and the leaders of our home. That's what's missing today. That's why our government is so messed up. Men are not taking the place of integrity and being honorable and being honest in what they say.

People that are running for office always make all these promises, but they never keep their promises—unless they have integrity. They call themselves Christians. So it's really important for me that as I was reading the scripture and coming to this place, the father's priority in the home is number one: seek ye first the kingdom of God. Number two: the love for his wife and for his children. They need to feel they're loved.

Then they have what? Safety in their home. They feel good. You need to know where your children are at all times, who their friends are, what they're into. Thirdly, God has called the father to be, listen carefully to me, the provider of the home financially. There are a lot of lazy men that don't want to work. If your wife doesn't have to work, let her be home with her children.

I know these are tough days, but because you want the boat, or you want the car, you want the motorcycle, you want the golf course, or you want this, you put her to work. That's not right in the eyes of God when she could be taking care of your children. My wife worked two years to help me open my kung fu school, and she never worked again. She stayed with my kids all the time.

I had a busy schedule. I was in the ministry full time. It's really important. My wife didn't even get involved in the church until my kids grew up and they went away. Then she got involved in the church with the women's ministry to teach by example. So I think it's really important that we understand that God has these priorities for the church among men and women and children, and yet the church always and constantly is disobeying what God says in His Word.

That's why we're divided. That's why homes are divided. So I think it's of importance that we understand that God first, then husbands need to love their wives and their children, and then they need to provide financially for their families. Financially. To get a job. I used to work two jobs so my wife could stay home when we got married. I worked at Union Bank and I worked at Bank of America when I got out of the Marine Corps and came back from Vietnam.

I think it's really important that if you're going to progress, not degress, then you've got to be obedient as men of God to the Word of God and see the needs of your home and making sure that you are under Jesus Christ as the center of your life so that you're obedient to the Word of God and that you're doing what God's Word says—being the provider financially to your family.

Then fourthly, God has called fathers to protect their families, to be the protector of your home. Do your family feel safe with you? And I'm not just saying go out and buy guns, okay? The protector of your home. Making sure that you're protecting your wife, protecting your daughters, protecting your sons, protecting your grandbabies. Do they feel comfortable with you when they're with you? Do they feel safe when you go out with them? Or do they feel insecure?

They need to see that your wife respects you. They need to see that you're the man of the house. They need to see that you are a man's man in order for them to respect you. Making the decisions as you prayed for those decisions and making godly decisions for the home. Otherwise, you're going to be unwise and they're not going to respect you. They're going to have a problem with you.

So it's very important that we understand what the Bible teaches. Then we need also, this is real important, number five: we need as fathers to take the leadership of the home. How do we do that? Well, I told you at the beginning: by teaching God's Word, by reading God's Word, and by praying with your family.

Making decisions and helping them to make decisions that are right to honor God, to honor your home, to honor you and your wife, but most important to honor the Lord Jesus Christ. In every area of your life, that is needed today. It's really important that you understand that God has this purpose for man. They were created first, then the woman was created out of the man. Not from the top of the head, not from the bottom of the feet, but from the closest part of man's heart, or through a blood transfusion in the Hebrew.

She became Isha, female, from Ish. And Ish, it says in Genesis, that he is to be the head over his home. In the Old Testament, the father made decisions for the family. Families lived together on three stories or four stories. They made houses. Arabs do that today still in the Arab nations of the world. Arabs live together with one big house, three or four stories, the whole family. They keep very close together.

Today, it's amazing how instead of people eating together, they're in every separate direction you can go and never be together on the weekends or during the week because everybody's doing their own thing. There's no order in the home. Who brings order to the home? God and the husband. You fathers need to set order in the home. That son, that daughter needs a daddy. That granddaughter, that grandson needs a grandpa.

They need to see the anointing and the authority of God in his life in order for them to become godly and to do what's right in the eyes of the Lord. Very important. So I just want to share my heart with you today because I think that we're heading into destruction. The way the church is heading is pretty wild. More divorces. You talk to people today that have been married three times, some four, some even five times—something is wrong.

One day you will stand before God and give an answer. If you have children and grandchildren, you're damaging them. You're setting the example not to honor marriage. But marriage has to be honored until death do us part. So help me God, I do, it's not easy to be married. But you have to get on your knees and you have to pray and you have to communicate and you have to come to the conclusion, hey, for me and my house, we're going to serve the Lord. We don't care what the world does. We're going to stand according to the Word of God and we're going to do what's right in the eyes of the Lord. Bottom line, that's what the Bible teaches.

And then think about this, six: the father and the grandfather and the great-grandfather are supposed to be the high priest of their homes. As those children and grandchildren look to you as the spiritual head of your home, when they have problems, guess who they're going to come to? To you for prayer, for wisdom, for knowledge. They'll trust you because you're giving them God's Word.

As they go through their problems and situations as they're going through high school and they go through college, whenever they come back to the Lord, they will always remember my grandpa and my dad and even my grandma and my mom, they gave me good counsel. That's why I'm back, giving them the Word of God because they can trust the Word of God.

Guest (Male): Whether or not you're a dad, we hope today's teaching has been a motivation for you to set a strong spiritual example for the next generation. You're listening to Somebody Loves You Radio with Raul Ries. If you'd like to hear today's lesson, A Father's Priority, in its unedited form, we'll be happy to send a copy to you for a donation of $5 or more. To get that, simply call us at 800-634-9165.

We'd also like to tell you more about Raul's six-part series for fathers, featuring today's lesson as well as five others. It's available on both CD and thumb drive. Spurring you on in an authentic, consistent walk with the Lord, this resource will assure you that while it's impossible to get everything right every time, you can have a positive influence on those observing your life.

To order Raul's six-lesson father study, visit somebodylovesyou.com or call 800-634-9165. We'll send you the CD collection for $19 or the flash drive for just $10. The phone number once again is 800-634-9165. Our mailing address if you'd like to order this resource by writing to us is Somebody Loves You Radio, Post Office Box 4440, Diamond Bar, California, 91765.

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Raul Ries: And then check this out lastly. This is heavy. Every father and every mother one day are going to have to give an account to God for reading the Word of God, for prayer, for all the things that God is asking us to do as believers. Our sins, they're taken care of at Calvary on the cross by the blood of Jesus Christ.

But in order for Paul the apostle to say that we're going to receive crowns on the day of judgment, the seat judgment of Christ, the Bible says that everything will be tried starting with gold, silver, wood, hay, and stubble, all the way down to the lowest of materials, and it's going to put it into the fire, and whatever comes out of the fire, that's going to be your reward.

Then he says this: and there will be some that everything burns up and nothing remains but what? The free gift of salvation. Period. Nothing shows what you did in this world because you did it with the wrong motive. That's what the Bible teaches. So I pray today that fathers open your ears and listen to the Spirit of God, what the Spirit is saying to the church. Listen and then do what God's Word says. Whatever is chaff, let it blow away, but whatever is wheat, let it fall on your hearts today and allow God to use your lives.

Guest (Male): This program is sponsored by Somebody Loves You Radio in Diamond Bar, California.