Richard Ellis Talks

Richard Ellis: You can always tell how much or how little someone is praying for someone by the amount of rhetoric they slew out about that person. The more you are talking about someone publicly, the less you are praying for them privately, I promise you. You cannot climb in your closet and be praying for somebody and come out yakking. God will shut you up.

Guest (Male): Welcome to Richard Ellis Talks with Richard Ellis. Thank you for allowing us to share this time with you. You may be stuck in traffic or stuck in life. Either way, today’s message is going to help you get on the right track as you learn how much God loves you right where you are. Richard’s unique style checks all the boxes with a lot of hope, insight, truth, and of course, humor. Today’s talk with Richard will get our conversation started, but we want to keep it going with you. So let's stay in touch through our website, richardellis.com. But right now, let's go ahead and get right into today's talk. Here is Richard Ellis.

Richard Ellis: The title of today's message is Smear Christianity, and I'd like to read you a story. Betty, the town gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the town's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several local residents were unappreciative of her activities but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

However, she made a mistake when she recently accused Ted, a local man, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar one afternoon. Ted, a dedicated Christian and man of few words, stared at her for a few moments and just walked away without saying a word. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night. I'll let you think about that just a minute.

Will Rogers said, "So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip." Earl Wilson said, "Gossip, noun, defined as hearing something you like about someone you don't." Will Rogers again, "The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them." Walter Winchell said, "Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid."

Richard Brinsley Sheridan, an English playwright back from the 1700s and 1800s, said when of a gossiping circle it was asked, "What are they doing?" the answer was, "Swapping lies." I'm not sure who said this, but gossip is sometimes referred to as halitosis of the mind. George Harrison, one of the Beatles, said, "Gossip is the devil's radio." And I thought this was very interesting. There's an old Spanish proverb that says, "Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you."

I'm going to read you a bunch of verses, and some of these will be very familiar. But every once in a while in church, we need reminders, including myself, of the power of this little thing called the tongue and how it can do so much damage. Proverbs chapter six. I'm always fascinated to find out what people think are abominations.

You hear people—and I'm not saying that homosexuality—I'm saying all these controversial things today, I might as well not quit now. If you're homosexual, it's not the unpardonable sin, okay? Homosexuals become Christians, guys that sleep with everything that moves that are heterosexuals can become Christians. That's just a particular struggle. People say, "Oh no, but that one's an abomination." Let me read you a little list of abominations while you're chasing abominations.

Proverbs 6:16: "These six things the Lord hates, yes, seven are an abomination to Him: a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren." You want to know what God hates, thinks is an abomination? Anybody find themselves in that list?

Why don't you leave the gays alone and get you a mirror because if you dealt with your own abominations, you'd be amazed at how gentle you are in trying to reach out to somebody who struggles with a particular thing. Proverbs 18:21. I tell people read your Bible; this stuff is in there and it is so true. Proverbs 18:21 says this: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

I read a story this week about a lady, this fine couple, the guy would come home every day, he would kiss his wife, the neighbors saw them playing in the yard, just an amazing family—the wife, three little girls—and some woman in the town decided she had seen this man someplace and decided he was having an affair and spread that rumor. It got back to the wife, and she was so crushed that she basically almost lost her mind, thought this can't be, and her husband came home, she wasn't at the door, he went in the basement, and she had hung two of her kids and herself in despair.

Then it came back around what had happened, and this woman—it was traceable to this woman who had just started some story. And the woman was overcome. "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 21:23, go there, a few pages over. "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles." These are pretty simple things. Watch your mouth.

Matthew chapter seven, verse one and following. Now, this is one of the most quoted verses by non-Christians on the planet. You'd be amazed how many select scriptures non-believers know. Matthew 7:1 says this: "Judge not that you be not judged," right? Get a lot of amens on that one.

But look what the context is: "For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged." The problem with judging someone else is whatever heat you're pouring on that person in an ungodly way judging them, it's a boomerang; it's coming back. Be careful. You say, "Well, I can't help it." Well, then you're going to need some help when it comes back your way.

"Judge not that you be not judged, for with what judgment you judge, you will be judged, and with what measure you use, it will be measured back to you." So if you're dishing it out, you can always tell someone who's received a lot of mercy because they extend a lot of mercy, and you can always tell someone who doesn't know much about grace because they are dropping the hammer. The gavel drops and sentence everybody, and you deserve this and that. It's going to come back around.

The context of this is, "And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye,' and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite!" And the Bible does not say don't remove specks. It just says don't do it without taking care of your own stuff. It says, "First remove the plank from your own eye, then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

We are supposed to be observing one another, watching one another, but not in a judgmental way, in a gentle, sensitive way. And if you deal with your own abominations, you'd be amazed at how gentle you are when you see something in somebody else. You approach them and say, "Look, I sense you've got something there in your eye. Here, let me help you." Be careful, be careful, it hurts. You ever get something in your eye like that? You don't want somebody with a fire hose coming at you. "I'm sure this is going to work, you might lose that eyeball, but we're going to get that dust out." You want somebody who knows what they're doing just barely touching that thing.

Go to Matthew chapter 12, a few pages over. Now, while you're turning there, let me kind of tell you where this is coming from. We don't have a huge problem with this, but any church where you have people that are breathing, you have the possibility of this. And here's where some of this comes from. If you're not willing to deal with your own stuff, then the easiest thing in the world... it's like some big old overweight guy sitting in a recliner hitting the button in the Olympics going, "Well, that guy just didn't try very hard, did he?"

"He should have worked harder, he should have lifted more weights, he's just lazy. What else is on?" It's easy if you're not going to do anything to talk about everybody else who's not hitting the bar the way that you think. It's amazing if you go work on your own stuff, you'd be amazed at how gentle you are with other people who you go, "Well, it looks like they're working on their stuff." But every once in a while, you get people just start yak-yak-yak-yak-yakking.

"Well, did you see that? Or when she said that? And she wore this?" I'm like, okay, you may even be right about something you've observed or something that was said, but what's your attitude going to be in approaching that person? You can always tell how much or how little someone is praying for someone by the amount of rhetoric they slew out about that person. The more you are talking about someone publicly, the less you are praying for them privately, I promise you.

You cannot climb in your closet and be praying for somebody and come out yakking. God will shut you up. Because when you go in that closet trying to pray for that other person, He'll say, "Well, I'm glad you're here. Turn that mirror around just a little bit more so you can get a good look at you while we're talking about her or him." Then you come out not that everything you observed or saw about the other person was not right, maybe, you just go, "Okay, God, I get it, I get it. Give me gentleness, give me patience. Show me how to approach this person."

Matthew chapter 12, verse 31, let's jump in there. "Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him, but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or the age to come." There is an unpardonable sin, and if you are concerned about whether or not you have committed that sin or not, you have not. Because if you had committed it, you wouldn't give a rip. You would be so far gone. So people come, "I think I committed the unpardonable sin." I say, well, then you probably didn't because you're worried about the fact that you might have.

Verse 33: "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or else make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for a tree is known by its fruit. Brood of vipers!" And by the way, everybody says, "Oh, you're so mean, you say harsh things." You know what? This is Jesus talking. I can't even keep up with Jesus. "Brood of vipers!" A bunch of snakes! "How can you, being evil, speak good things?"

Look at these verses: "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." You want to know what's going on in somebody's heart? This isn't judging anybody; this is just watching their fruit popping out on the limbs. Whatever's in somebody's heart is coming out their mouth sooner or later. I was with a guy recently, a guy I've known for a very long time, had this nice meeting with him, and all through this meeting, it was "f-ing" this and "f-ing" that, and "what did they f-ing think this?"

I listened, I didn't say anything. I've known this guy a long time, I love him. I just sat and listened. We spent our time together, I was leaving his place of business, and I said, "Man, it was great to see you." He said, "Yeah, good to see you, I love you." I said, "Man, I really enjoyed today. I haven't heard the F-word that much in a long time."

He stopped, kind of stunned, and he said, "Wow," he said, "You noticed that?" I said, "Yeah, I noticed that." Now, he felt safe with me, he was upset, frustrated about something. I understand that. But then I had an opportunity to gently say to him, "Look, dude, you've got responsibility." He said, "Well, I've got this friend and he uses it and then I use it and it just... I know it's a problem." I said, "Yeah, I think it's a problem, and I'm not busting your chops, I'm just gently saying something."

Now, I have had and still do have a relationship with this person. He looked at me and he said, "You know what?"—we're kind of the same age—he said, "You know what? I don't think I've ever been rebuked by a peer in my life." I said, "Well, maybe it's time. But I would hope that it would be reciprocated if you see something in me." Similar ages, and he needed someone to speak something into his life other than the F-word. You say, "Well, wow, how did you do that?" Because I love the guy and I know the guy.

So he goes on to say here, Matthew 12: "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment." You say, "Well, that'll take a long time." They're going to have plenty of time in eternity. There won't be any lines. It can go on as long as it takes. "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

Now, in all fairness here with the same guy that I was talking to, I kind of bashed another preacher, chewed on another preacher a little bit. "Well, he's not this and he doesn't do that." So let's just say me and Jesus had to have a little conversation about that before today. All that reflects in me is my insecurity. If you're saying something bad about somebody else, you just don't feel very good about yourself. I hadn't prayed two seconds for that guy, but I did today. The guy would be a blessing.

You have a hard time cursing somebody you're praying for. You have a hard time gossiping about somebody you're praying for. You have a hard time speaking evil about someone you're praying for. God's not going to tolerate it. It doesn't work. So when I hear somebody yakking, talking about somebody else, see, you say, "Well, then you're judging them." I say, "No, I'm just observing the fruit going, 'Wow, that's just a symptom of a greater problem.' The greater problem is the heart, and something nasty, evil, horrible is going on inside that person."

So you don't go talking about the symptom; you say, "Lord, I pray you'll change that person's heart because whatever's in there is just coming out." They're angry, they're frustrated, they're feeling bad about themselves, and so they're lashing out, attacking somebody else. There's a guy named R.G. LeTourneau, was for many years an outstanding Christian businessman heading a company which manufactured large earthmoving equipment. He once remarked, "We used to make a scraper known as the model G. One day, somebody asked our salesman what the G stood for. The man, who was pretty quick on the trigger, immediately replied, 'I'll tell you. The G stands for gossip because like a talebearer, this machine moves a lot of dirt and moves it fast.'"

Titus chapter three, turn there. Titus chapter 3:1 and following. If you don't know where it is, find the table of contents in the front of your Bible. Titus chapter three, and there might be somebody around to help you. All right, Titus chapter 3:1: "Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.

For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace, we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life."

We forget too soon that we came from there. Whatever you're judging or observing or talking about, don't be so quick to pull the trigger because you were out there yourself. You say, "Well, I was never like them." Exactly, that's the part of your problem. "I was never that evil, I'm a good person." No, you're saved like everybody else by grace, no matter how much sin you had in there.

James chapter three, pretty famous little passage here in regard to all this. We'll read James three, some out of four, and one more. A few pages over, James chapter three, I'll just start with verse one to give you the context. "My brethren, let not many of you become teachers, knowing that we shall receive a stricter judgment. For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body.

Indeed, we put bits in horses' mouths that they may obey us, and we turn their whole body. Look also at ships, although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder whenever the pilot desires. Even so, the tongue is a little member and boasts great things." My daddy's bigger than your daddy, right? Well, in my case, that is true, probably. But we start really early just throwing that mouth, popping off.

Next phrase: "See how great a forest a little fire kindles! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and creature of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by mankind. But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields both salt water and fresh."

And how is it we all do it, including me? Come in here and raise our hands or however you sing and praise the Lord this and all that and get out in the car and "God," you know, somebody cuts you off in traffic. You say, "Well, that's just who I am." And that may be what God's trying to change. A four-year-old boy decided that he'd make an attempt at reciting the prayer which he had heard in church, and this is how it came out: "And forgive us our trash baskets," he asked, "as we forgive those who trash basket against us."

James chapter four, go over just a page. James 4:11: "Do not speak evil of one another, brethren. He who speaks evil of a brother and judges his brother, speaks evil of the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law, but a judge." And this is what's fascinating, you just say, "Stand back. I don't need God or anybody else. I am the judge. I decide." Oh, really?

Verse 12, the book says, "There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?" Now, here's what's so tricky about this. If you're not careful, you can judge people who judge people. "Well, they shouldn't be judging them for doing that." Oh, really? And who gave you the authority to judge them for judging them? And now you're just as bad off as that person.

First Peter three, last one. I thought I'd get an applause if I actually said that. I know everybody's afraid to say something. First Peter chapter 3, verse 8: "Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you might inherit a blessing.

For 'He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips from speaking deceit.'" Who wouldn't want to love life and see good days? Well, the book says, "let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit." "Let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers; but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."

Words, in the way we smear one another and destroy lives and really in the process only reveal how messed up we really are in the process. I had a conversation with a guy this week, and he's been coming in and out of here two or three years. We had an appointment, we sat there and we talked, and he shared some things, and I finally looked at him and I said, "Okay, let me ask you a question. If you died right now, what would happen to you?" He said, "I'm really not sure."

He said, "Well, how could somebody sit in a room like this and listen to the gospel for two or three years and just not get it? Never click." I shared the gospel with him, and sitting there in the Starbucks where we were, he prayed a simple prayer. Words came out of his mouth in front of God and everybody and became a Christian. Went from darkness to light, from death to life, from the power of Satan to the power of God. And what was the difference? If you believe in your heart, you confess with your mouth, says you'll be saved. It is that simple.

We can do great damage with words, we can do great good with words, but you can also accept this amazing gift of eternal life which is simple words. You can whisper it to him right where you are. You can be driving around in a car, you can be sitting at home, you can be here, anywhere, and it just hit me how that we can keep talking about this and keep doing this, and yet somehow it is still not clear. It is just... it's on the tip of your tongue. If we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in our heart that he has raised from the dead, it says we'll be saved.

Guest (Male): Real life isn't about living some highlight reel for others to see. Most people have deep hurts, questions, and struggles. We get it and want to help you in any way we can. So let's keep this conversation going. Give us a call at 855-6-RICHARD or connect with us at our website, richardellis.com. You can even put in your prayer request right there on the prayer wall so others can pray for you as well. Call us at 855-6-RICHARD or online at richardellis.com. And now, let's get back to Richard with a final word on today's show.

Richard Ellis: In a second, we're going to pray, and I'm going to ask you to use some powerful words if you've never used them before and pray a simple prayer and say, "Okay, God, I've been listening to this, hearing this for a long time, but I've got to do something about it. I've got to engage and let you change not only my mouth but my heart, my whole life in this process." So let's pray together.

Father, I pray for those that have been listening and learning and maybe even longing for some answers, some hope, some joy, some life, Lord, in the midst of their existence. I pray that someone today would simply, even with a whisper, say, "God, I know that I'm a sinner and I need your forgiveness. I believe that Jesus died on that cross to pay for my sin, was buried and raised from the dead to give me not only eternal life but the gift of the forgiveness of my sins. I accept both.

I ask you to come live in me and through me. Thank you that you were raised from the dead, that you are alive. I want you to live through me and give me not just eternal life but a fulfilling, an abundant life between here and heaven. God, save me from myself, from this world, from death, from sin, from everything that would hold me back, and change my life from the inside out."

And Father, for those of us who claim to know you and yet the fruit that comes off the branches, Lord, looks so contrary when we open our mouths, Lord, whatever is really in our heart comes out. I pray that we would go to work on our hearts, Lord, so that our mouths would change and that we would be sensitive in observing others who are judging others, that we would help one another through this process and realize that we are all capable of speaking evil but also capable of speaking great good, Lord, and that there really is the power of life and death in the tongue.

We would be very aware of that, Lord. Use our words this day, this week, to speak blessing on people, Lord. Use our words, and may they be pointed more to you than anybody else as we pray for one another, as we see challenges in other people's hearts and lives and ask if there is a piece that we could play in their life, in the restoration, the change of their life that would involve relationship with them and involve gentleness with them, even speaking the truth, Lord, but doing it in a loving way. Show us how to do that, to be family, to be brothers and sisters through the process. We love you, we thank you, we praise you, and we pray it all in Jesus' name. Amen.

Guest (Male): This has been Richard Ellis Talks with Richard Ellis. The message of the gospel is one we take very seriously in our mission to reach the planet, and you have a vital part of doing that along with us. If you've been encouraged by these talks with Richard, be sure to tell someone about the change they've made in your life. You can even share today's talk with them through the website, richardellis.com. And we'd love to hear your story as well as to how these talks have made a difference to you too. Give us a call, 855-6-RICHARD. You can also reach us through our website, richardellis.com. And while you're there, check out all the pages we put together for you, richardellis.com. Also, be sure to click on the contribute tab to send your very generous gift. If the program is making a difference to you, your gift will make a big difference to us. Until next time, thanks so much for listening to Richard Ellis Talks.