New Life LIVE

Brian Perez: Grateful that you've joined us today on New Life Live. I'm Brian Perez, and we'll be in the studio for the next two hours taking your calls at 1-800-229-3000. If you have a question you feel you can't ask anywhere else, whether at church, or your small group, or even of your best friend, we are here for you.

And giving you the answers you need today, we've got clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton and licensed professional clinical counselor Becky Brown, who's also the president of New Life Ministries. She undoubtedly has something to say to start us off, don't you, Becky?

Becky Brown: I won't take that personally, but yes I do. Matter of fact, I've been known to have lots of things on my mind. And matter of fact, sometimes those things can get stuck. Have you ever had those experiences where you're either worried about something, frustrated about something, it just goes over and over and over in your mind? I know that is true because I've talked to enough people to know that they struggle with those thoughts, the struggles whether it's a relationship or just disappointment that things aren't going the way that you want them to.

We talk about the power of change here at New Life. Matter of fact, transformation is one of our three core values. And we see it all the time. We hear about the stories how God has entered into the situation and there is an incredible outcome, but it rarely goes like one step, the next step, and then it's like this nice neat little line, because we're human, because things get in the way.

But one of the things that we have been talking about for many years is neuroplasticity and the ability, the way that God has created our brain to change and to be able to grow and to see things in a different way. There are a couple of different things when we talk about neuroplasticity. We have neural pathways in your brain where those loops, whether it's depression, whether it is anxiety, those things that just go round and round in our minds that get formed. And we actually those habits just start to become part of who we are and part of the way we do life, the way we think about things.

But there is the ability to change the way your brain works and aren't we glad about that? There's a couple of different options. Well, a couple of different ways. Habit stacking is one way where there's stuff that you already are doing. Like let's say you always set your alarm for 7:00 a.m. Well, you can also set your alarm for 7:00 a.m. and then when you get up, you always read the word of God. You don't have to read all sixty-six books, you can read a verse right when you get up and you just start stacking the habit that you want to do with something that you're already doing.

There's visualization where you're mentally rehearsing what that thought could be or the new behavior or even how the relationship that you want it to be. You can see it, you can actually visualize. Or maybe it's a health habit too where you want to feel better, you want to experience life better. And the third one is target routine where you're doing something differently than you already do. For example, brushing your teeth with your non-dominant hand. Now that seems so simple but it actually is creating this new neural pathway.

Here's the other thing: the word of God on a repeated basis will change your mind. And here's a couple of verses for you to think about. Isaiah 26:3-4: "You will keep him in perfect peace, all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you. Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal rock." Or Colossians 3:2: "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." So what I'm telling you is you can change your mind. we can help you, and it doesn't have to be a big gigantic step, it can be little things along the way. That should encourage you if you're discouraged.

Brian Perez: Yes indeed. And we're going to be in the studio for two hours today so we can help you to develop a new plan on moving forward. 1-800-229-3000 is our number. We can't wait to speak with you on New Life Live. We're just days away from the start of our New Life courses, three courses to choose from: Lose It For Life, Take Your Life Back, and Healing Is A Choice. You can see a description for each to make the choice of which one to sign up for at newlife.com.

Alice Benton: Brian, as Becky was talking about how we change and how we rework neuroplasticity, I was thinking that we can super-strengthen the practices you, Becky, were talking about when we do them in relationship, when we tell other people what we're doing and we invite their support and accountability. And the workshops are such a good place to find that kind of community, the courses and the workshops. So if you feel like you don't have people that would engage in these practices with you, joining one of our New Life courses will help you find like-minded people.

Brian Perez: Yeah, for sure. And Becky, I just wanted to ask you a follow-up question to what you were discussing there at the beginning when it comes to habit stacking and forming new habits and everything. People might think, "Well wait a minute, I like to be spontaneous. I don't want to do the same thing all the time because then I'll get in a rut and I just want that freedom to do other things." What do you tell them?

Becky Brown: Well it's funny because the rut is the thing that keeps us from growing. And so habits, you're already doing things. It's like when people talk about their diets or their budgets, you already have a diet, you already have a budget, it's what you're already doing. And so for those who feel like "I just want to be spontaneous," well, we could probably look at your calendar, your checkbook—well I guess we don't use checkbooks anymore, maybe your credit card statement—and just see how really free you are because you are already doing things in a patterned way.

And I think it's really if you just have the struggle, if there's something that's weighing you down and you can't seem to release it, or if there is a repeated pattern—it could be, we talk about addiction all the time here, where people get stuck. It didn't start at that level, it started small. And so in order to begin to release that, you will have the freedom to make those choices so that you can have a life that's free, so you can be spontaneous.

Brian Perez: Wonderful. All right, let's go to our first call of the day. It is Dan in Vermont, Randolph, Vermont to be more exact, listening on SiriusXM channel 131. Hi there, Dan, thanks for calling. 1-800-229-3000. How's it going?

Dan: Hey, not bad. First-time long-time, I like your program. I was having problem, I am a Christian, and my girlfriend of eleven years and her family that I'm with in Vermont—I moved here twelve years ago from Connecticut. Had a son at thirty-three, he lost a battle with cancer. It was just went from a simple emergency room visit for digestive problems to cancer just taking him out August 4th.

And I felt the room like the people around weren't as religious as me, or I don't know, like using the word religious. And the pastor came up couple times to pray and they shut him out of the room as if they didn't want that. And it left me in a weird predicament where I really wanted to go to him, his name was Scott, and ask him to accept God before he took his last breath. And unfortunately, there was an incident where the last person to say goodbye before I made it back in there, Scott had already passed. So I still took his hand and I asked him to accept Christ into his life. Obviously he couldn't respond, but that just kind of weighs on me if I might be halfway if he maybe heard me and accepted Christ, but I think he was already gone.

Alice Benton: Oh Dan, what a weighty regret. You desired to talk with him while he was still cognizant, but you also saw resistance within the family that various people didn't want the pastor in the room, and you probably had the sense that they didn't want you to speak up either. And so of course you—

Dan: I don't think it would have been a problem, but I mean I just read the room and I shouldn't be embarrassed to talk to Christ to somebody, but at that point I just felt uncomfortable and it kind of weighs on me a little bit.

Alice Benton: It's hard to witness and especially in a situation like that. So I can understand both your hesitation and your caution of trying to figure out when was the right time, when was the best time. But then time ran out and you weren't able to say what you wanted to before he passed away. Dan, would you tell us a little more about the context? Is your girlfriend a believer? Did she raise her children as believers?

Dan: No she didn't. That's another topic we'll talk another time. I believe I am unequally yoked in this relation. But as far as the kids go, one younger brother remains, Bradley, and I talk like sometimes like when I'm the car, I have the radio station on, SiriusXM, and I don't even change the channel just to see if it sinks in with him. And before Scott took his last breath, he knew that I got his mother's back, I got everybody's back. Bradley I taught how to drive, I watch over him, and that gives me comfort. But it's just—

Brian Perez: Well I wonder too, Dan, have you ever had that conversation with your girlfriend?

Dan: She's more on the path of like if he was a good person, if I'm a good person type of thing. I never asked her to come to Christ. I've had her at my services, and we're just not on the same page as far as like—I mean, I can't come out and tell her, "Well if Scott didn't accept Christ, he's going to hell," you know what I mean? I was kind of like trying to softball around the situation.

Brian Perez: Right, but that's going back to your original thought is what happened to Scott? Is he in heaven with the Lord? How do I know? Did my last words impact? And it is such a hard—we don't know, but we can have faith. But I think it brings up a bigger conversation, Dan, about your relationship. Recognizing you just said we're unequally yoked, but I think that even speaks further. There's a lot of people that are unequally yoked but they can talk about it, they can have the conversations where she can hear your heart and you can hear what she's talking about.

But I think that's why this gets to be so weighty, so heavy, because Scott's passing in and of itself was really difficult, as well as wanting to be able to speak freely to him about where will he be when he passes from this life, but also your relationship with your girlfriend of many years. It just feels out of sorts, and I think that may be more of what you're wrestling with at this point.

Dan: Yeah. I mean he suffered from COVID when it first came out, she has long COVID where I mean she has to take a shot every Monday morning, it makes her feel like crap for a couple days. And so I love her, she loves me a lot more in different ways, and I'm just not going to abandon a situation where like I'm not happy in this relationship, which I am happy, I'm content. I'm not going to bail out on her or her son, especially after an event like this. That's just where my heart is.

Alice Benton: Dan, it is difficult to accept what God's standard is about the time we have to choose him or to reject him. But I do think the Bible is clear that we have our lifetime to make that choice, and once we take our final breath, that choice has already been made.

But we know we have a God of perfect mercy and justice. He's the perfect combination of mercy and justice. And so when we wonder, "Well what about the babies that died? They didn't have a chance yet to make their decision," we don't know how God handles situations. But we know he will apply perfect mercy and justice. And so it may be that your Christian example that you showed to Scott and Bradley and your girlfriend has impacted them and helped them to choose to live as good men, as better men.

But you're right that it is essential from our Christian perspective to accept Jesus. And so my suggestions to you as you wrestle with the regret is to confess to God and even consider confessing to Scott's family: "I wish I'd said something and I didn't. I waited too long and I hate that I waited that long." And sharing your regret with them, Dan, it is a witness to them because it's you sharing that you wanted Scott to choose Jesus, but you didn't have that conversation with him directly. And it possibly opens up more conversations with your girlfriend and with Bradley.

And then I'd encourage you to work on avoidance. And you and I share that characteristic in common. I can be very scared to have tough conversations and the question of "Do you want to accept Jesus?" Oh Dan, I have had a tough time bringing that to some of my loved ones who I don't think are believers. And so when we work on avoidance in general, usually with a therapist or with a group of men, a small group of men for you, we can become more courageous to have those difficult conversations faster so that we don't have to live with the regret of having run out of time. But we also get to make amends even though Scott has passed on. You still have a chance to have that direct conversation with Bradley and with your girlfriend. So let your remorse be a godly sorrow that fuels you to do better now rather than wallowing in just guilt and regret but no new action.

Brian Perez: I'm also thinking that somewhere over these years somebody else had a chance to talk to Scott and planted seeds. And we have no idea what happened as he was laying on that bed, right?

Becky Brown: I think it's really hard when—I hear what Dan is saying, that regret. But to your point, Alice, it calls all of us to what do we believe? How do we share that with other people? Not Bible beating, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about how are we truly being who Christ calls us to be when we're Christ followers? And that's in every area of our life, that's not just in those final moments, but it also I love what you said Alice where you said now Dan you can even say, "Listen, I didn't talk about this with Scott but I want to share with you, I want to invite you, we can talk about it, be curious, just this is a very important part of my life and I want it to be shared with those who I love and are closest to."

Alice Benton: There's a story in one of C.S. Lewis's books, it's in the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe series but it's the final book. And a man who served the enemy with all his might, he did the best he could, he was a good man with what he knew to do. He died and he encountered Aslan, he encountered the Lord. And the Lord asked him, "Did you serve me whether or not you knew my name?" And I don't know if C.S. Lewis is right about that or not, but I know God will take into account how did we live our lives, if we knew the Lord or we didn't know the Lord, because a lot of people have turned away from Christianity because Christians hurt them so badly. And so even though they may have valued the tenets of Christianity, people can really either get in the way or help us along the Christian way. And God will take all of that into account. But let's all have a sense of urgency. We have limited time to witness to our loved ones. Let's witness now before we run out of time. And Dan, we thank you for your call and that you brought all this to mind and we'll be praying for you with this heaviness that you're carrying.

Brian Perez: We have a tip sheet available called "How Do You Turn Your Life Over to God?" And Dan, we'll send you that, just stay on the phone. And anyone watching or listening, we'll also put a link in the show notes there, but we can send you a copy. 1-800-NEW-LIFE is the number to call and we'll send you that tip sheet and it just shows—maybe it's something you can share with a friend or a loved one and it'll just show them how to turn their life over to God. So stay on the phone, Dan, and we'll get that to you and anyone else who requests it. And we're going to take a quick break. We will be back with more of your calls. 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call us for the rest of this hour and all of next.

Brian Perez: When you call into New Life Live, by the way, you can even use an anonymous name, just maybe you don't want to use your real name, that's fine. Just call us, to start the conversation. We want to get your life going here in the right direction. So call in, we're going to be here for the rest of this hour and all of next at 1-800-229-3000. So let's go back to the phones. Cindy in Beulah, North Dakota listening on KNDR. Thank you Cindy for calling 1-800-229-3000. How can we help you?

Cindy: Thank you for taking my call. I was just listening to the gentleman who was really concerned about him witnessing and to his girlfriend's son who had passed away and he didn't feel like he had the chance. Okay. So I didn't hear anybody talking about this woman that he's been—I'm assuming dating for the last eleven years because he's talking about being unequally yoked. If she was just a regular friend that's a woman, he wouldn't be talking about equally yoked because it really wouldn't matter so much to him.

But he's being—I feel like he's being convicted that he's in this relationship that is unequally yoked. And I know you didn't—I didn't hear you ask him the question whether or not they are sexually active in their relationship because the word of God clearly states—okay so he's witnessing and he's trying to bring people into the kingdom, he's talking about having sons, her sons that and being the man of the Lord and being a good witness and being a good example to people. But you can't be a good witness if you are in sin. You can't be a good witness if you're sleeping with their mother because the word of God says that the sexually immoral cannot inherit the kingdom of God. The church has turned to the ways of the world and God is saying that's enough. He is saying that is enough of this. We are not, we do not act like this world. This nation, America, has turned to other ways that are not the ways of God.

Alice Benton: Cindy, you're offering an iron moment. And an iron moment means you're offering an iron sharpens iron. And that is how the body of Christ is supposed to work. And if we could be in a group therapy session with Dan, you would be nudging him, asking him, "Are you being convicted, brother? Are you struggling with this?" And we don't know if that's part of his story, we can assume, but we don't know. And good Christian relationships are supposed to be offering love and support and asking those tough conversations. And you're right that we become much more effective witnesses if we are working on our own sin pattern and our own immorality, which we all have and we're all going to have till the day we die. So thankfully he does let sinners into heaven if we know Jesus, because I'll still be a sinner at that point too. So Cindy, thank you that you're asking that difficult question.

Becky Brown: Well and I also am thinking too, Cindy, I did say to Dan because this is a moment of conviction. The weightiness of wondering if he could have said something before this young man died is causing him to reflect on all different parts of his life and we talked about leaning into that and to have those conversations. I hear your fervor and I love that. And I also know that when we're in relationship, if we come at it where we're not inviting them into a different way of life, we may scare them off and we hear those calls as well. But I assure you we want nothing more than for people to be following Jesus with their whole life, every part of their life.

Brian Perez: Indeed. Thank you for your comment today, Cindy, and for calling us at 1-800-229-3000.

Alice Benton: Becky, with what you just said, you make me think of how truth really needs to be softened with grace. And if we try to push truth without having relationship with people, it's difficult if not impossible for them to accept that truth. And Jesus was the perfect example of his ability to balance out grace and truth. There's this research-based ratio, five to one ratio, that if we need to tell someone something difficult like, "Hey, I think you're struggling with some possible sin in this area," they're much more likely to receive it if we've built relationship by sharing at least five positive things that we know about them or that we're learning about them. And so for anybody, if you have a tough truth to share with a loved one, make sure you're balancing out your ratio. It's good to share tough truth, envelop it in grace and love and support and then they're more likely to be able to digest your tough truth.

Becky Brown: Yeah, it always makes me think of Jesus's conversation or the story he tells about the rich young ruler. And the story goes there's a rich young ruler that comes to Jesus and says, "I've done all the good things, how do I inherit eternal life?" And Jesus says to him, "You need to give up everything and follow me." And the rich young ruler goes away sad. And Jesus then says, "It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a man to inherit the kingdom." And what he's saying there is you're not going to convince anyone whose heart isn't directed in the right direction. But you can, like you just said, Alice, when we enter into those conversations with love and curiosity as well as invitation, it radically changes the lives of so many people. And it's tough because we can really feel like somebody needs to get it, and they do. And we may not be able to convince them, we may be able to invite them. And I think that's where we land on that one.

Brian Perez: Plus when somebody's grieving, and when he called he was grieving the loss of his stepson and wondering if he had done enough to let him know about Jesus, and that's not the time to just get—well maybe it's your fault because you're not doing this the right way and maybe if you'd been doing this the right way, maybe he would have seen your life and he would have been more open to the things of God. But that's what I'm thinking.

Becky Brown: Well I think about all kinds of things. Like you said, I have things on my mind and things I just want to talk about. And I just think about even when we're working with folks who are struggling in addiction, the right answer is "Stop it." But if it were only that easy just to stop it. It's really about a heart change and about finding out where the wound is, finding out what the connections are with the choices that are being made. And so many people are struggling. That's what I was just talking about even with the matching gift, there are so many people that are struggling because there's so much confusion in the world today. And that's why I love your heart, Cindy. You're right, God's got a yes and a no and a right and a wrong and there's no middle ground there. And in order for people to find that right and that truth, we have to be able to hear where they're at and lead them in a way that God will take care of them.

Brian Perez: All right, thanks for your phone call today on New Life Live. We're going to be in the studio for the rest of this hour and all of next, so call in to 1-800-229-3000. You can also send us your questions as emails or voicemails. Here's a question that was sent in as an email and we're coming up to our break so I think I'll have time to read the question and then we'll answer it when we come back.

The question is from Donna who asks, "Is it sinful to not have anything to do with my mother?" So here's the backstory. Donna says, "I grew up in a very dysfunctional environment with my parents. So much abuse, physical and sexual. Mother was beaten and cheated on. Father physically and sexually abused my sister. My brother received horrific abuse from my father. I was spared of both the physical and sexual abuse, but watching these things growing up has done a number on me. For years, I only blamed my father. He died in prison after murdering my sister. It was many years later as I started spiraling into depression and suicidal thoughts that I started counseling and began to realize my mother had a part too. She should have protected us. We do not have a good relationship. I've tried but it doesn't work. Mentally, it is not good to see her or even to talk to her on the phone. I have no family left. I've not seen my brother in years due to him being a drug addict and in and out of jail."

So that's Donna's question for us. And you know, doesn't that speak to what I just said about how so many people are struggling with pain, with so many things? I love her heart. Well, we will answer this after the break. Yep. And if you've got a question for us, we're going to be here in the studio. We're waiting for your calls right now. We've got people standing by on the telephones to take your calls. Remember you can be anonymous if you want, you can call on behalf of a friend. 1-800-229-3000 is our number and we're going to be here for another hour after this. Did I already say that part? I don't remember, I'm repeating myself now. But one thing I love repeating is the phone number because even if I repeat it a lot, you may not have pen and paper handy. Here it is one more time: 1-800-229-3000.

Brian Perez: So what's keeping you from calling us today here at New Life Live? You think, well it's almost the end of the show. Well, yeah, but we're going to be here for another hour so call in to 1-800-229-3000. Just before the break, I read a question that was submitted to us online, which is a way that you can get your question to us too. You can go to newlife.com/radio to find out how to leave us a voicemail or how to send us an email. But the question I read was from Donna who wants to know if it's a sin to not have anything to do with her mother. And she explained her backstory about her father and I mean her brother being in prison and I mean she's just led a horrible life and now she wants nothing to do with mom. So Becky, what would you say to Donna?

Becky Brown: Well the short answer is no, it's not a sin. There's a lot of people that have very complicated relationships with their parents for lots of reasons. In Donna's case, there's been a lot of trauma, a lot of wounding, and she may not even be—I mean, I would venture to say she's not safe. The Ten Commandments talk about honor your father and mother and what I think, Donna, the way that you honor your mother at this point is to continue to become the woman that God has called you to be. You were talking about not having family and I would encourage you to be, if you're not already connected with the body of Christ in a local church and begin to create those connections. And so many people, that is like their true family because of their family of origins being so painful in so many ways.

I would want you to stay safe as well. You're right, your mom probably had parts of knowledge of all this mess that's been going on in your family of origin, but it doesn't mean that you have to stay in relationship as far as—you can create boundaries, but you can also minister from a distance. But it's not a sin if you need to have a disconnect, but I would encourage you to work through that trauma with a therapist but also not to just cut your mom off either because obviously she's hurting. I know that sounds very confusing, but there's where I'm at right now.

Alice Benton: I'm grateful that the Bible said "honor" and not "you have to talk to your parents," "you have to live with your parents," "you have to financially provide for your parents." Those are ways of honoring, but there are a variety of ways to be able to honor people. And I would even say that if we are connected with a dangerous person—and your mom and your dad were dangerous people. Your mom more in her passivity and her neglect, but possibly also she might deny that that was her role, she might deny that you all were hurt so badly by your father. And that could be a dangerous, emotionally, spiritually dangerous person to be around.

The Bible tells us how to treat a person who's dangerous. This comes from Matthew, that if a person is continually sinning against us and we confront them and two people confront them and they're not willing to change, we are supposed to back away from them. And there's a holy purpose in backing away because it actually gives the best chance that as they lose relationship with people they care about, that they might wake up and say, "Well something maybe is the matter with me that my daughter doesn't want to see me, maybe I should change and become a different and better mom." So God's way of showing us how to love a dangerous person is through loss of some privileges and loss of relationship at an extreme.

But Donna, in situations like this, I always also always advise choose to not talk to her for now, but don't choose forever, because you can and I think it's best to stay open to whether or not God changes your heart stance. And when we take time away from a person, if we can tell them, "I'm not able to talk to you at this time, it's too hurtful, it's too painful, but if you ever get into treatment, if you ever acknowledge the pain we lived in, if you ever choose to apologize for what we went through and your inability to protect us, those would be signs of growing safety," and then I could reconsider my stance. We give a way back but then we wait and see what they do with that. So rather than cutting off forever, consider applying these boundary principles and know that this is a pathway God shows us that we can honor another person while keeping our heart and our body safe.

Brian Perez: Becky, I think of the three New Life courses that are going to be starting next week. They are Lose It For Life, Healing Is A Choice, and Take Your Life Back. Lose It For Life is pretty obvious what that one is about, but Take Your Life Back and Healing Is A Choice, which one do you think Donna should sign up for based on everything that she explained?

Becky Brown: I would absolutely, I would absolutely say Healing Is A Choice. You know, that's why I mentioned I would want for Donna to get into her own care. The trauma that she has experienced on so many levels is reverberating, even to the point where she's still not sure if her mom is safe or not. And like what you were saying, Alice, I love the freedom that we have when we can practice healthy boundaries. It's because we know what we are able to give or take in a relationship, we also know how to guard our hearts, for out of it flows the wellspring of life, right?

But I just think the challenge of healing is the first step. But I would also want a way back for mom just to get her own healing. And I know that's not Donna's responsibility. But I tell you, doing those courses, Healing Is A Choice, Take Your Life Back, Lose It For Life, every week you're meeting with a therapist and a group of people and you will not believe what a difference that will make in your journey. I know I'm very partial to what we do, but I've seen it work for almost over twenty-five years I've been part of New Life and I've seen how people being part of groups and acting with a counselor has changed their lives. I know I'm preaching to the choir, right Alice?

Alice Benton: Well we know that these things work and we so want our audience to be able to practice them as well. But if our advice feels difficult or inaccessible to you because you've been through so much, we can also help you put into practice what we're talking about because, Becky, these lofty goals that we have, some of them have been too difficult for me to practice in my own life until I got sufficient help, until I got sufficient individual counseling, had been in enough groups to then be able to practice what I preach, because it's a lot easier said than done. But we know it works and it's worth the time and effort it takes to get there.

Becky Brown: And you know, Alice, you and I both know because we've led groups, we've been part of groups, and people will push back and they'll be like, "I don't want to be in a group, I didn't like group projects when I was in school, I don't want to do that again." But listen, all of life is a group project. You are with people. If you're in a healthy state of mind, you interact with people on a regular basis and they can teach you, they can expose things in your own heart, but they also are an opportunity for you to interact in a way that brings them joy and can be helpful.

But you know, I just can't say enough about what we've been able to do over the years to help people find freedom in their life and connection, redemptive relationships through these groups, through these processes that we've been offering for so many years.

Alice Benton: God promises to put the lonely in families and many times that's a spiritual family because our biological family may be too broken to be in close relationship, just like Donna. And so my heart goes out to her loneliness. So Donna, don't just consider the distance you need from your mom, but also how to get other good people into your life to become your healthy spiritual family. And again, through our classes that we have, online classes, and through our intensives, you can find great family in the New Life family.

Brian Perez: Yep. Find out more at newlife.com or you can call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. You can also call us here in the studio if you've got questions about any of these courses. We're going to be here for another hour, 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call us. Sarah, we're going to talk to you in just a little bit, but we're going to be going to our break and we are going to be here ready to speak with you. If you're watching, if you've been watching us on Facebook or YouTube for the past hour and you've got a question for us, we're going to keep the phone lines open for another hour. We can't wait to speak with you here on New Life Live. We've got clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton and licensed professional clinical counselor Becky Brown, who is also the president of New Life Ministries. Great advice, free advice when you call in for yourself or for a friend. 1-800-229-3000.

Thanks so much for listening. We hope something you heard will help you live in freedom today. If this content was helpful for you, we would love it if you would take a minute, leave a review, post about it, and rate it. Remember we have resources and workshops online for you as you continue your journey. Go to newlife.com to find out more information. And thank you for being part of the New Life community. We know that God desires all of us to live a life of wholeness and healing and we're so glad that you're here.