New Life LIVE

New Life: Welcome to the New Life Live podcast. We hope to provide help and hope in your life through God's word, counselors, and psychologists as we answer questions from listeners who call with the challenges of life. Let's go to today's episode.

Brian Perez: My friends, hello. You are just in time for New Life Live. One call to us could change everything. Join us right now for answers that bring peace and direction. I'm Brian Perez, your host, and we will be in the studio for two hours today. 1-800-229-3000 is the number. Ask us anything except tax advice.

Though if you want to make a tax-deductible donation to New Life Ministries towards next year's paperwork, you can do that. I'm here with doctor of marriage and family therapy Sherry Denham-Kepper and licensed marriage and family therapist Jackie Mack Harris. Ladies, great to be on with you again. Jackie, what's on your mind to start us off?

Jackie Mack Harris: What's on my mind today is something I've been reading and it made me want to talk about the prodigal son. That section of the Bible that talks about the son who asked for his inheritance and went off into the world and ended up sleeping in a pigpen and then decided to come home. Whenever we talk about it, we consider the brother that left the prodigal.

I think that the brother who stayed was a prodigal as well. That title was given by somebody who was trying to figure out how we give headings to different parts. But it's the story of these two people who lived differently whose father loved them anyway. The one who stayed home had a real attitude because the brother left, squandered all of this money, and then got to come home and be well received and have a party thrown for him.

What he failed to understand was he had access to all of that all along. So we as Christians sometimes are very judgmental of people who are not living life the way that we think they should be living life. We spend so much energy and time focused on what other people are doing wrong that we're missing out on all of the great things that God has for us. We're missing out on the riches that God has for us right now because we're so focused on being good and being better than other Christians.

I just invite Christians to live in the space of freedom that Jesus came to allow for us. If you've accepted Christ and the Holy Spirit dwells in you, it's for freedom that we were set free and not to be bound to the rules of society because that's what it is. It's the rules that society has decided what a good Christian looks like. So many people are living stressful and depressed lives because they're trying to confine themselves to a box God never intended them to stay in.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: Wow, that was very insightful. I agree with you. I think that no matter what somebody else is doing, no matter the chaos that they're living in, we still have the opportunity to make a choice about what we're going to do with ourselves. I had someone give me this bracelet and it says, "I am free." I've been wearing it because of holding on to myself no matter what's happening around me and just being present in what I can choose and where I'm at and what I'm doing. Honestly, there's plenty for me to focus on. There's plenty energy that goes into just keep walking, just keep trusting the Lord, just keep taking one day at a time. But that freedom feels so good.

Jackie Mack Harris: And I think that's what Jesus came for. It's what is intended and so freedom is my top value. I want to live in freedom and have the freedom to do what I need to do because, ADHD, I need to be flexible. I'm not going to have anyone take that from me and I know that Jesus came that I would be free and so I intend to live in the freedom that he's offered me and let him guide me.

Brian Perez: We can help you with that if you call in today to New Life Live. 1-800-229-3000 is our number. Going to be here for two hours. Can't wait to speak with you. Marie, you'll be our first caller when we come back on New Life Live.

New Life: To find out more information about New Life or to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Now back to New Life Live.

Brian Perez: Shout out to the guys and gals listening to New Life Live on the New Life app. We love that you've chosen an easy way to listen wherever you are and whenever it's convenient. We'd love to hear your questions so give us a call today at 1-800-229-3000. And if you're thinking, "Wait, if I'm listening to you guys on my phone and I call you on my phone, I won't be able to listen to you anymore," well, when you call us and we put you on hold as you wait to speak with us, you'll be able to hear the show. So I guess you could say that's another way to hear the show. Call in, ask a question, and you'll be able to hear it over the phone. 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call. Marie in Seattle, who watches us on YouTube, hello. Thanks for calling.

Guest (Female): Hello. I'm doing pretty good, a little nervous, but I'm fine. My husband and I are heading into retirement. I haven't worked that long though because I was just released this year from 12 weeks of C-PTSD therapy. I don't know if I need a coach or a counselor going into this season of our life.

My husband's very gregarious and outgoing. We'll go to this area we think we want to move to and he'll be in the coffee shop saying, "I am so-and-so and I'm going to be doing this business when I come here," and going on and on about it. Then they'll look at me like, "And who is this?" So I just am not sure how to look at this.

Jackie Mack Harris: I heard you say that you just finished 12 weeks of therapy for complex PTSD. There's a difference between counseling and coaching. Counseling and therapy are the same. Just depends on what you call it. But coaching is different. If you're getting therapy, it's generally because there is something diagnosable like PTSD.

Coaching is phase of life things, walking through certain situations. Either would work except that because of your history, it may be best for you to have a therapist because certain things from your history might be triggered in this retirement process. The way you described that scenario of being in the coffee shop with your husband, I wonder if there's something else there that you're feeling shame or not enough. You're standing there and he's talking about all that he's going to be doing and you're standing there looking like, "Who is she?" What is the meaning of that for you?

Guest (Female): I feel like I'm an introvert and I don't say things right and I question myself about what I say or how I say it. Sometimes I feel like a bad person but also feel abandoned a little bit. Some of my healing took place at the beaches like over at Lummi Island and I'm moving away from the ocean and leaving my dog care business. I was able to work for four years finally. I was able to find a job that I really liked. I didn't know why I was depressed for all these years and the craziness I was living in. I felt like I finally came into like I have a church and I feel like I'm starting to connect with people and now I'm being taken out of that.

Jackie Mack Harris: Is retirement not your choice?

Guest (Female): Well, he's excited about it. Our two girls live in Coeur d'Alene in that area and they want us to be closer to them. He's very excited about being retired after 35 years of being at Boeing and then three years of doing other things when he was laid off at one point in time.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: As I'm hearing you, Marie, it makes me so curious about growing up because I imagine with your complex PTSD, part of that was feeling powerless and part of that was not having a voice. I just want you to know you're very clear. We're sitting here listening to you just give us a few minutes of your story and you're very clear. But you're still worried that you're going to be invisible and lose yourself. I think that probably happened growing up. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Guest (Female): I was raised in a very narcissistic home. My mom was an alcoholic and a narcissist and my dad would make faces at me and was not very nice. My sister took her life. She had an eating disorder and I lived in the same room with her and she ended up committing suicide. She told me what she was going to do what I was here and I called to tell my parents they didn't do anything about it.

Then my brother got involved in drugs and then they put him in. I could not see my mom 10 months before she died and spent time with her but I couldn't see my dad before he died. They wanted me to be the trustee and I couldn't be the trustee so my brother ended up being the trustee even though my mom was told not to let this happen because of his addiction and his narcissistic personality. He is just really toxic so we had to hire an attorney to deal with it and it's still ongoing.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: First off, I'm so sorry about your sister. You and your brother are the only survivors and kind of like Jackie talked about to open the show, the prodigal son and then the one that was good, that did things right, which is you. That's why your parents wanted you to be in charge of the finances because they trusted you.

This is the thing. If you end up going to Coeur d'Alene, Coeur d'Alene is beautiful. They have an amazing lake there. I am sure you're going to be grieving the water that you've been in. It sounds like an ocean or wherever you're at. There's going to be grief around that. But do you know what? I've been to Coeur d'Alene and there's a lot of people with dogs in Coeur d'Alene.

Just because your husband is happy to retire after 35 years, you don't have to put your life on hold. You don't have to give up what you just discovered that you love doing, which is taking care of dogs.

Guest (Female): Well, I love children. That's my favorite thing, being with preschoolers. I've done that for four years.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: There's children in Coeur d'Alene. There's schools, there's churches. I would encourage you in the midst of this transition to hold on to you. Just like we talked about with the prodigal son and my bracelet, "I am free," you are free to keep living doing things that are purposeful because growing up with narcissists and an addict, you learn how to just be small and take up very little oxygen. These last four years you've been filling your lungs and I am wanting to protect that for you. I'm wanting you to hold on to you.

Jackie Mack Harris: I was reading *Take Your Life Back* and I think you should read it. It's in our library, but it's this idea that you lost yourself in trying to protect and save yourself. You lived this incongruent life that would lead your parents to want you to be the person with the legal responsibility for them in the end of their life, and yet they made you feel like you are nothing, like you're not good enough, like you don't know how to talk.

Often times people feel like they don't know how to talk because when you say something, somebody else may not understand. That's not because you don't know how to say things right. That is because they needed more context, they need more information because they haven't thought the thought. You had thought the thought. So when someone needs clarification, it's not because you said it wrong. It's because they don't have information that you probably do. Their mind is somewhere else.

You've not been confusing at all today. Being an introvert is not an illness. It's just a personality style. Don't beat yourself up for that. You just need to be alone to recharge. That's the big difference. Extroverts are energized by being with people and introverts are energized by being alone. They enjoy people, but it drains them. Go, just like you just thought about your husband standing in that coffee shop saying he's going to start this business and telling people about it, tell them what you're going to do. Tell them what you're interested in. You have a voice. Let it be heard. And when you don't want it to be heard, be quiet and don't feel any shame or feel bad or small because you're a more quiet person. That's just how you were made and it's okay.

Brian Perez: I think the hard part too is that she finally found these things, almost like a reason for living so to speak, and now it's like, "Okay, we're moving." It's like, "Well, wait a minute. Hang on. I just got used to this."

Sherry Denham-Kepper: The thing is, it's in you. Marie, you may be moving and letting go, but all that stuff is inside you. It's like in your internal backpack. You don't have to leave yourself behind. There's people that do.

Jackie Mack Harris: Just like the prodigal son story, we think that greatness is in this external place. The younger brother needed to go out into the world and experience because we think it's in this place. It's not the external that has settled. It's your internal. Wherever you go, there you are.

You're taking it with you. Everything you've learned over the last four years about yourself, about people, about relationships, you're taking that with you. Now you're going to go to a new environment, make new friends, and build new community. I'm prayerful that it's going to add light and energy to your life. I hear it's a beautiful place. Grieve of course where you are leaving, don't feel bad about that either, but let yourself dream about how good it can be.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: And I vote therapist for you in the midst of this transition. That would be my sense. Don't cut corners on your own internal work in the midst of the move. I think having a therapist who gets C-PTSD, who is committed to you and you staying intact, will help you and will expedite your landing so you can grieve but build as well.

Guest (Female): Getting a different one because she said I didn't need any more.

Jackie Mack Harris: Get a different one. You'll start if you've already met with her for quite a while and she's already accomplished all the goals you all set, you're going to maybe look for another one. Maybe we can help you find somebody in your area.

Brian Perez: Yeah, for sure. Because we've got a network of counselors and therapists and that's all on our website NewLife.com. We can also help you right now since you're on hold, so stay right where you are, Marie. Jackie mentioned the book *Take Your Life Back*. That's available in the NewLife.com store. We'll put a link to it on the show notes if you're watching us right now.

We've also got an article on NewLife.com called "31 Affirmations to Take Your Life Back." We'll put a link to that. Let's not forget the Take Your Life Back course that begins in just a few weeks. It's a 12-week course. It meets one hour per week online. This is to help you reclaim control of your life. That's why we call it Take Your Life Back.

Two other courses that we have that begin the same week: Healing is a Choice, which helps you find freedom from emotional pain and past wounds, or you can develop a healthy relationship with food and your body with our Lose It For Life course. These 12-week courses meet starting in just a few weeks on Zoom. They're led by a counselor. You'll experience small group community for encouragement, connection, and accountability. Seats are limited. Once registration closes, you'll have to wait until the next session. Don't let that happen to you if it's on your heart to start. Don't wait. Get registered right now at NewLife.com. You can also call 1-800-NEW-LIFE to get the details.

I'm Brian Perez. This is New Life Live. I'm here with doctors Jackie Mack Harris and Sherry Denham-Kepper. 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call for the rest of this hour and all of next. We really want to help you with whatever it is you're going through. Maybe you just need a little push, a little nudge or something to be going in the right direction. Maybe you have no idea what that direction is. Well, we can help you with that too. George, I see you on the phone. We're going to get to you next. We've got more calls coming in. We'll get to all of you if not this hour, next hour. We're going to keep the phone lines open so keep calling in to 1-800-229-3000. We really do want to help people today, don't we?

Sherry Denham-Kepper: We are going to do it. Absolutely.

Brian Perez: 1-800-229-3000.

New Life: To find out more information about New Life or to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Now back to New Life Live.

Brian Perez: George, listening on WAVA. How are things in Washington DC, George?

Guest (Male): They're chaotic, but we're cooking, so it's okay. Just hang in there. I actually watch you guys often and I watch the New Life TV so I know what Brian looks like now and everybody else. I love the video to the TV. Plus my background's in broadcasting. I've been in broadcasting for 28 years.

Quick question. I've been going through a wilderness for almost the last four and a half years. I've got twin daughters turning 19 on June 7th and I'm celebrating 28 years with my gorgeous wife Saturday. She has been an absolute rock in my life through this wilderness.

But my issue is anxiety. I've dealt with anxiety with my oldest. She's extremely type A ever since she got her first car and now she's driving to our local community college. But I've grown up in the church. I've been a Christian since '84. Recommitted my life several times.

I'm hearing give it over to God and even today was on the phone with a health person and she was a believer but she wasn't connecting really with me. How when you give it over to God, how do you actually I feel that peace that passes understanding for a few seconds because I know God's with me. How do you make that last? How do you actually put feet to the faith?

Even just some background, my actual job is I produce and host a Christian music and gospel program out of Wilmington, Delaware. Been doing for year and a half. I get paid very little money, but I love it. I absolutely love it. I'm actually trying to get some I have some OCD issues where I have to sort of I'm the only man in the house, so I sort of clean up after three women, which is fine. But because of that, I'm even today I'm just I have a ton of work to do before everybody gets home. But I feel that this is where the Lord's calling him like, "Lord, help me serve my family, help me serve my wife, help me just serve you. You open the door, I'll go through it." How do I make all of that real so that my whole brain doesn't go completely nuts like I feel like it's been the last four and a half years? Does that make sense?

Sherry Denham-Kepper: A ton of sense. You've left me very curious, George. No pun intended. How did you launch from your family of origin? How did you leave?

Guest (Male): Let me sort of give you some information. So my grandparents were with Jesus now. My mom's parents lived with us in our home when I was in high school in Annapolis, Maryland. They lived in our basement. I have a very interesting relationship with my mother. She lectures me. She lectures me in a very loving Christian way and she's now doing the same to my oldest daughter, Sabrina, who has the anxiety.

She and I got into almost a yelling match a couple weeks ago and she's like, "I am your elder. Do not speak to me that way." My sister knows of all of what I've gone through. My mother does not. My sister's asked for my permission to talk to Mom about what I've gone through in the OCD. I'm like, "Yeah, but I don't want her to know everything." My relationship with my father is fantastic. Dad's had a lot of health issues with his heart issues, so Mom is this full-time caregiver. My family, when we told them we were pregnant with our daughters, they said, "We're moving to North Carolina." So they're six hours away.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: So let me ask you. I want to wind you back to when you left your house, when you launched and left the house as an adolescent or young adult. What was going on? Just give me like two sentences.

Guest (Male): I moved out. I was engaged. My wife I had been engaged for six months and my wife and I got our place in '97. We got married in '98.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: And how did your mom feel about you leaving her?

Guest (Male): My mother and my wife really never gotten along.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: Okay, so guess what? You had a mom who was very controlling and maybe somewhat mother enmeshed with you, meaning there are these moms that are very hovering, very controlling. In fact, they will tell you things about yourself in order to keep you somewhat dependent. They're not crazy about the fact that you met a beautiful wife who you love, who's a long-time partner, but they want to spoil the pot to kind of keep you in their care because that's how they hold on to their identity as a mother.

Jackie Mack Harris: Even as much as when you set a boundary, she tells you, "Don't talk to me like that. I'm your elder." She needs to have power over you.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: When young men grow up with these controlling mothers, guess what they start believing? Even at an unconscious level. I am incapable. I'm not in control. I'm not doing anything right or not doing enough right, that I need to be perfect to please everyone. You've got some daughters that are ready to launch and you're not sure maybe that they're ready to go. We believe you're capable. The question is, do you? And if you don't, we'll show you how to feel that way.

Jackie Mack Harris: I agree with what Sherry said. I think that this is really tied to your childhood, George. You have been anxious because you grew up with someone standing over you saying, "Don't do that, do this, do it like this. Why'd you do that? Why'd you do it that way?" lecturing you. That was the first thing you said is my mom's a lecturer. She lectures me. That created anxiety in you. That created a "I'm not good enough, it's not good enough." And she was probably also a moving target.

The OCD develops because there's certain things you have to do and if you do it a certain way you get a certain outcome and she installed that, instilled that in you. Now you need maybe to come to our Take Your Life Back class because what you asked is how do you make it real. I think it is a meditative process. I went through a season in my life in my marriage where it was really hard and the scripture God gave me was Proverbs 3:5-6 and I said that constantly. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not to your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he'll direct your path.

The more I said it, the more I believed it. Then there were times where I'd say, "God, I trust you, but help my unbelief. God, I trust you, take away this doubt. God, I trust you." So God, I'm giving you this anxiety. I don't want this anxiety. Take it away. Now, there might be an actual reason for your anxiety. Anxiety's our fire alarm. It's telling us that there is danger ahead and sometimes it's misplaced. You're sitting on a couch doing nothing and your heart's racing. But sometimes it's because of life circumstances.

If you are in a season where something big is happening, you might be anxious. I saw a psychiatrist once for anxiety. I thought I was losing my mind. He did his assessment and talked to me and I'm in psychology so we got to talking about that and I shared that I was taking my clinical exam the next day. He finished his assessment and he said, "Go take your exam tomorrow and then come see me." I took my exam and the anxiety went away. But I had so much built up in me, the stress of preparing for that exam that I was beside myself with anxiety.

So I encourage you to pause and sit quietly and look at your life and look at the things in your life that may feel out of your control. You have twin 19-year-olds or soon to be 19-year-olds. It may feel like it's a lot out of your control. They may be about to launch and when you launched you got lectures and weren't really accepted. As a matter of fact, the parents moved further away at the time you probably would need them the most. So there might be a lot going on in your world that is bringing up that anxiety. But as far as turning it over to God, even when it doesn't feel right in your body, hold in your mind that I've given this to God. Every time it comes back up, just give it to him again. Just release it. God, I release this anxiety to you. Holy Spirit, thank you for walking with me. And continue to do that and you will walk into a place where you realize you haven't had to say that today.

Brian Perez: Cast your cares on the Lord, it's not a one-time thing. You don't just throw that fishing pole out there, you throw it out whenever you need more fish.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: Last thought is I love the fact that you are self-saying, "I have OCD." One thing I know about OCD brains is they're very committed to try to keep you safe even if it's disabling. OCD brains are catastrophizing brains. They are worrier brains. They try to tell you there's scary danger right around, "I don't know, my 19-year-old, something's going to happen and it's going to be bad." That is your brain. You are not your brain, but you happen to have an OCD brain that is trying to warn you about things that haven't even happened. Coming back down, telling yourself the truth, which is I'm a capable dad, I'm a loving dad. I care for my daughters and no matter what they choose to do, you're going to be different than your mom. No matter what they choose to do, you're going to be present for them and help them to figure out what to do with the dilemmas that they come across their life. It's one day at a time, one moment at a time. That's the only thing we can control is right now.

Brian Perez: George, you should sign up for our Take Your Life Back course as well. You can get all the details at NewLife.com. We've also got a tip sheet on anxiety that we'd like to send you. It's called "Six Tools to Ease Anxiety." We can send that to anybody who calls 1-800-NEW-LIFE. There's an article at NewLife.com, "Eight Tips to Stop Anxiety Dead in its Tracks." 1-800-229-3000. Now let's go to Nina in Boston, Massachusetts. Hey Nina, how can we help you today? Are you there Nina?

Guest (Female): Yes, can you hear me? Thank you for taking my call. I love your show. Today is a crisis. My 36-year-old son is currently considering suicide. I am literally driving to his house. He left his work. His work notified me. This is the third attempt or at least suicidal ideation and voicing for help in three plus years.

He is a very educated man. He is an attorney who's not working as one anymore because the stress and anxiety of that particular profession had put him over the edge. He married five years ago, started his attorney job, they lost several babies to miscarriages, they have a two-year-old. He definitely has an addictive personality and he definitely self-medicates with marijuana. He is also an overeater, which is a very real addiction because he looks and is very unhealthy.

Jackie Mack Harris: Let me pause you. What's the distance between where you are now and your son? How much longer will it take you to get there?

Guest (Female): Probably about 15 minutes. When his job called you, did they say he left and said he was suicidal?

They said apparently he told his coworkers and he also said he's been off his meds for a couple of weeks, which I did not know. He went to his boss and I don't think he told her why he needed to go home. He just said, "I'm not feeling well, I'm going home." Then the large insurance company in the city of Boston has a nurse and the nurse contacted me because we went through this same exact thing in October.

Jackie Mack Harris: Have you called the police to do a welfare check?

Guest (Female): No. He promised me. I just spoke with him like 25 minutes ago. He said, "I'm just going to lay down." I said, "I'm on my way, don't do anything." He said, "I won't. I won't."

He's been in and his wife just divorced him. So he has had several major life stressors in the last five years and he's not handling it well. He was admitted last fall through a large psychiatric hospital in the city. He probably told his boss he just needed to go home because he can't pay the bills. What they are asking in child support, what he's making, he's not working as an attorney right now, he's working for an insurance company.

I know why he didn't go right to the ER. So he's reaching for help. My biggest issue is I know we need to get him inpatient. He was at a crappy place after the hospital on an outpatient basis five days a week. They got him hooked on using vapes and nicotine, which I don't think is a good alternative. I'm at the point where my husband and I are retired, we're on a fixed income. My husband is not his dad. I called his dad and his dad's response was, "My brother died yesterday. I can't deal with him right now. You're going to have to take care of it." Seriously. It's like can it get any worse? He is a veteran. He accepted Christ in the Marine Corps. I need to know financially how can I help this child? What can I do?

Brian Perez: Okay. We've got to go to break. We'll be right back here on New Life Live. If you guys are watching and listening, pray for Nina's son. The Lord knows his name. Just pray for intervention. We'll be right back. 1-800-229-3000.

New Life: To find out more information about New Life or to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Now back to New Life Live.

Brian Perez: If you're feeling suicidal, there's the National Suicide Hotline that you can call. It's 988. Just want to get that out there in case anyone listening right now is thinking, "Yeah, I've been thinking the same thing." Nina's on the phone right now. She's on her way to her son's house, her adult son. He's 36. Just keep him in prayer. Jackie and Sherry, what would you say to Nina?

Jackie Mack Harris: Nina, I think I heard you say he's a veteran? Has he connected with veteran services?

Guest (Female): You know, he called them yesterday and they were going to set up an appointment for medication evaluation. Something I've been asking him to do. He's definitely on meds. I don't know exactly which ones. I don't think that the current program he was in helped him the right way. They definitely didn't get him off the marijuana, which is a depressant in and of itself and the strains are so much stronger.

Jackie Mack Harris: I want you to try to focus on getting him connected with the VA and with the VA mental health services. He is due care. Sometimes they don't make it easy. It's gatekept a little bit. I'm going to try there's an organization that helps with getting the services if he's not already if he hasn't already gone through that process. What branch of the service was he in?

Guest (Female): Marine Corps.

Sherry Denham-Kepper: Nina, I think you are doing a phenomenal job. I honestly think your instincts are 100% on. I think your instincts that he needs to be back into some type of an inpatient are accurate because this is not the first time. This is the third time. I have a special place for you in my heart because I lost a brother to suicide five years ago. I know how real this is and I know how real it can be.

I'm hearing you and based on where he was at the last time he was impatient, he was married, he's got a two-year-old, and I'm so sad they've had lots of losses with babies, but he's lost his job, he's lost his marriage. He is feeling so trapped financially. One precursor to somebody who is suicidal is they actually feel trapped. They don't think there's a way out and they begin to lie to themselves to say things like, "Everyone would be better off without me. I can't do it. I'm just making more of a mess of my life." Like they honestly cannot see a way out.

One of the things that I did with my brother and I'm just thinking about your son is my brother, I told him because he has two daughters, I told him, "Your daughters need you. They will never recover from this. I just want you to know you matter to them." In moments like this, it may be that his two-year-old is the one thing and your love are the one thing or two things that help him hold on for today. Going there, spending time with him, I love Jackie's idea about the VA.

Jackie Mack Harris: Trust your instincts. Maybe have him do a 72-hour hold at a hospital to go in because he's off his meds. That all needs to be re-evaluated. He needs to be back onto those because that's part of the nosedive. You just need to get him in care. If all you do is get him into the hospital today to have him held for 72 hours so that he gets some stability while you're working to get him hooked into the VA, that is passing the baton to some treatment professionals that can get some things stabilized for him.

Hopefully when you call the Vet Center in Boston and tell them that he's actively suicidal, they'll help you connect him to mental health care services immediately. The phone number is 857-203-6461. It's on Drydock Avenue if you're familiar with that. That's the Vet Center, the Boston Vet Center. There's small satellite Vet Centers in different cities. There are people inside that Vet Center whose job it is to help with this problem. See if somebody there will come to him. Let them know it's a crisis and you're desperate and that we need support now.

Guest (Female): Are there any other financial resources out there like through Social Security?

Jackie Mack Harris: Because he's a veteran, that's where his financial resources is. He can get disability if he qualifies. He may not have been through the process. Many vets don't go through the process when they out-process and so they need help and support walking through it. The Vet Center will help him do it.

Brian Perez: Nina, thank you so much for calling in today to New Life Live. You said at the start of this phone call that you were about 15 minutes away from seeing your son so you're a lot closer now. Everyone watching and listening just pray for Nina and her son that they will find the help that they need at the Boston Vet Center or wherever it might be.

Aprendemos de Nina y de lo que escuchamos hoy que mucha gente nos llama cuando están abrumados con cosas como la adicción o relaciones rotas, depresión, confusión, hijos adultos con pensamiento suicida. Por eso estamos aquí en New Life Live y nuestros socios mensuales de 99 for the One lo hacen posible para nosotros responder de inmediato, no dudando o preguntándonos si los recursos están disponibles. Los socios de 99 for the One ayudan a New Life a ofrecer consejería, recuperación y esperanza cada día. Quiero invitarlos a convertirse en un socio de 99 for the One. Sean parte de algo duradero. Aprendan más sobre nuestros donantes mensuales recurrentes y únanse hoy en NewLife.com/99for1. Yo siempre anticipo cuando mi regalo mensual sale de mi cuenta de cheques. Es el 20 del mes porque sé que se pondrá a buen uso. Si están en espera, Julie, Sue, Susan, regresaremos con ustedes en solo un poco. Vamos a hacer otra hora de New Life Live. 1-800-229-3000.

New Life: Thanks so much for listening. We hope something you heard will help you live in freedom today. If this content was helpful for you, we would love it if you would take a minute, leave a review, post about it, and rate it. Remember we have resources and workshops online for you as you continue your journey. Go to NewLife.com to find more information. And thank you for being part of the New Life community. We know that God desires all of us to live a life of wholeness and healing, and we're so glad that you're here.