Devotionals by Brian Goins
What Your Wife Really Wants for Christmas
By Lisa Lakey
Every year my husband dutifully asks if there is anything I would like for Christmas. And every year I rattle off a list of items I want or need but never got around to actually getting for myself. Same for you?
Guys, let’s talk. (Ladies, you’ll get a turn tomorrow.)
If you feel stuck shopping for your wife this Christmas, here are a few ideas of what your wife really wants.
She wants you to know her. Women often struggle with who we are. (No jokes about multiple personalities, guys.) We’re confident in our identities as mothers, even as wives. But if you stripped all that away, would anyone recognize us?
Let her know you see her for who God created her to be. Slip a pretty box under the tree with an invitation for dinner or even a special lunch. Spend the time getting to know her all over again.
She wants to know she can still turn your head. I know we can get in a habit of donning sweatpants and old t-shirts the moment we get home, but we still need to know we turn you on. If you haven’t noticed, we tend to see ourselves in a negative light most of the time.
Sneak a list in her stocking of the top five things you’re attracted to. Maybe it’s the way she looks at you over her shoulder, her laugh, or maybe it really is the way she looks in those sweatpants and old tees.
She wants a day off. For one day (or week?), take care of all the things your wife would normally do—laundry, kids, meal planning, kitchen clean up, the endless errands. You’ll get bonus points if at the end of the day you tell her you have no idea how she gets it all done. DO NOT say, “Today was so easy.” That is dangerous ground, fellas.
Whether she works 9-5 outside the home or not, giving her time to herself while you dive in to her daily routine shows you recognize all the things she does.
Guys, when it comes down to it, most women just want to know you love us. My husband once wrote me a love letter with 30 little sticky notes on the bathroom mirror. I loved every single one. Some just had silly faces drawn on them. I might have loved those the most.
For more insights about blessing your wife, here are some more practical ideas.
The Good Stuff: He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. (Proverbs 18:22)
Action Points: Considering the above suggestions, think of one “gift” you can give your wife this Christmas. And don’t wait until December 24th!
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About Married With Benefits by FamilyLife
We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner?
Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation rather than experiencing the real benefits that come from saying “I do.”
About Brian Goins
Brian & Jen Goins live Melbourne, FL where Brian is the Senior Director of Strategic Projects and helps lead the Weekend to Remember team. He is also a producer of the documentary, “The Brain, The Heart, The World,” a series exploring the dangers of pornography. Jen enjoys leading Bible study groups and connecting with women through mentoring. The Goins have 3 kids: Brantley, Palmer, and Gibson. As a family they enjoy making annual treks to Montana to hike and ski and have loved attending Pine Cove family camp together.
Shaunti Feldhahn (Featured Host):
Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide.
Shaunti’s findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and Cosmo. She (often with her husband, Jeff) speaks at 50 events a year around the world. Shaunti and her husband Jeff live in Atlanta with their teenage daughter and son, and two cats who think they are dogs.
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