Devotionals by Brian Goins
I Think I’m in Love With Someone Else
By Marilette Sanchez
“I think I’m in love with someone else,” I told Moses, my then-boyfriend, over the phone.
“I can’t talk to you right now,” he said with a trembling voice. He hung up.
It was one week before our first anniversary.
We had always prided ourselves in not being one of those “clingy” couples. That year, I was a full-time college student in Manhattan working 30-plus hours per week. Moses was a first-year teacher in Queens, his schedule eaten up by never-ending lesson planning.
Months of “doing our own thing” allowed a distance to creep into our relationship. Hungry for companionship, I found myself confiding in another man.
Moses and I got a wake-up call that day: A relationship is never stagnant. It is either moving toward unity, or drifting toward isolation.
Moses and I eventually moved past this emotional affair. But these days—as a married couple of eight years and parents of five young kids—distractions come at us in different forms.
We can’t get 30 seconds into dinner-table conversation without being interrupted. We are tempted to veg out on our phones or Netflix. Sometimes our schedules are so out of sync we feel like two ships passing in the night.
To counteract this, we’ve added several things into our weekly routine.
Several nights a week, we put our electronic devices away, so we can give each other undivided attention to pray or catch up. We take a Sabbath once a week, forgoing email or even calls from friends so we can prioritize time with God and each other.
It’s the little, yet consistent, things we’ve chosen to do that help us keep our togetherness front and center.
The Good Stuff: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
Action Points: Take inventory: what are one or two little (or big) distractions in your life right now that may be hindering your oneness with your spouse? What is one change you can make in your schedule that will counteract these hindrances?
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About Married With Benefits by FamilyLife
We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner?
Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation rather than experiencing the real benefits that come from saying “I do.”
About Brian Goins
Brian & Jen Goins live Melbourne, FL where Brian is the Senior Director of Strategic Projects and helps lead the Weekend to Remember team. He is also a producer of the documentary, “The Brain, The Heart, The World,” a series exploring the dangers of pornography. Jen enjoys leading Bible study groups and connecting with women through mentoring. The Goins have 3 kids: Brantley, Palmer, and Gibson. As a family they enjoy making annual treks to Montana to hike and ski and have loved attending Pine Cove family camp together.
Shaunti Feldhahn (Featured Host):
Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide.
Shaunti’s findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and Cosmo. She (often with her husband, Jeff) speaks at 50 events a year around the world. Shaunti and her husband Jeff live in Atlanta with their teenage daughter and son, and two cats who think they are dogs.
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