Devotionals by Brian Goins
Whipped?
By Carlos Santiago
As I stood to leave the table, the guys I had been playing cards with let out a collective sigh. They wanted me to stay, but my wife wanted me home. Their shaking heads confirmed the general sentiment about my choice to cut the night short even before one of them sneezed out, “Whipped!”
Part of me wanted to stay. But there was something more important at stake than their approval.
Long before that game night had ever been planned, I promised God that I would forsake all others and be faithful only to my wife—and not just by rebuffing others’ sexual advances. I’d say no to others, so I could say yes to my wife.
As verbal pressure mounted for me to stay in the game, I needed to ask myself: Who would I be more willing to disappoint—my friends, or my wife? But more importantly, would I be breaking a promise I made to God?
God takes vows seriously. Deuteronomy 23:23 warns, “You shall be careful to do what has passed your lips, for you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth.”
Out of reverence for Christ and the promise that I made Him, in this circumstance, I needed to submit to my wife’s wishes. I thought of her exhaustion in watching the kids.
“Submitting to each other” in marriage doesn’t mean that we simply give in to whatever our spouse wants! But it does require us to learn how to place the needs of our spouse ahead of our own.
When I walked through the door, my wife’s eyes beamed. “You’re home early,” she said.
“Of course. I told you I would. Besides. Where else would I rather be?”
Check out “Shock Your Spouse and Kids With This Question.”
The Good Stuff: … submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)
Action Points: In a conflict of interests, ask yourself questions like these:
- Will getting my way help my spouse or hurt my spouse?
- Will my actions help my spouse get closer to God or farther away from Him?
- Am I demonstrating it’s okay not to keep my word?
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About Married With Benefits by FamilyLife
We got married because we thought we’d be better together rather than apart. So why is it so easy to feel isolated from your life-long partner?
Host, author, and fellow married pilgrim, Brian Goins, tackles the relational pitfalls, from the trivial to the tragic, that move couples towards isolation rather than experiencing the real benefits that come from saying “I do.”
About Brian Goins
Brian & Jen Goins live Melbourne, FL where Brian is the Senior Director of Strategic Projects and helps lead the Weekend to Remember team. He is also a producer of the documentary, “The Brain, The Heart, The World,” a series exploring the dangers of pornography. Jen enjoys leading Bible study groups and connecting with women through mentoring. The Goins have 3 kids: Brantley, Palmer, and Gibson. As a family they enjoy making annual treks to Montana to hike and ski and have loved attending Pine Cove family camp together.
Shaunti Feldhahn (Featured Host):
Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher, best-selling author and popular speaker. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 3 million copies in 25 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide.
Shaunti’s findings are regularly featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and Cosmo. She (often with her husband, Jeff) speaks at 50 events a year around the world. Shaunti and her husband Jeff live in Atlanta with their teenage daughter and son, and two cats who think they are dogs.
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