Oneplace.com

We Survived 7 Brutal Years—and Found Friendship | Matt & Lauren Chandler

July 3, 2025
00:00

Matt & Lauren Chandler get brutally honest about their 25-year marriage, parenting struggles, and ministry life in this raw conversation on FamilyLife Today. Discover how they moved past 7 "brutal" early years, found healing through vulnerability and Celebrate Recovery, and built a friendship that sustains them through every season.


From navigating differing interests to regretting missed opportunities with their kids, Matt and Lauren don't hold back. They emphasize the power of authenticity, the necessity of deep community, and the illusion of control when raising adult children. Plus, hear candid confessions about spiritual leadership at home and Matt's "icy" demeanor.

Speaker 1

We were never. Neither one of us were ever interested in playing pastor and first lady. We're very much human beings, first children of God, and that means we're being sanctified.

Like, I still say the first seven years of our marriage were brutal. And you would see, like, some people, you can see new people in the crowd, and you're like, the number of people that were like, the second you said that, I knew I could be here.

Speaker 2

All right, so we're on the road. Family life today. On the road. I don't know where we are. Where are we?

Speaker 1

You are in Highland Village, Texas, a suburb of Dallas.

Speaker 2

I thought we're in Flower Mound.

Speaker 1

No, that's directly across the street.

Speaker 3

It's so close. We're all like, did you know where we were?

Speaker 4

I have not. I'm just following you wherever we go.

Speaker 2

We were sitting in Matt and Lauren Chandler's family room. Right. Is that what your church, Lauren?

Speaker 1

Yeah, this is the youth. The student building.

Speaker 2

Was this original. Original church, though.

Speaker 1

This was the original, like, it's just like an old ranch style building right there that I can see. Nobo else can, but it. Well, Lauren, that was the original. This was built in 86, and now we're about a mile down the road in a storefront.

Speaker 2

Now, when you were first preaching, was it here?

Speaker 1

It was right here.

Speaker 2

Really?

Speaker 4

Yeah. And is this only for students now?

Speaker 1

Really? Students pretty much are here, but it's about to get an upgrade. And then young adults and men's. It'll. It'll have all sorts of fun things to do. And so for now, though, this is students. They'll. They'll be hundreds of them here tonight.

Speaker 4

Cool.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 4

Isn't this fun to get to interview them? We've always wanted to be with Matt.

Speaker 1

And here we are.

Speaker 4

Here we are.

Speaker 2

And I'm sure you've always feel pressure.

Speaker 1

Well, we were just talking about that a couple weeks ago. Life plan. Yeah. If we can. If we can this year.

Speaker 3

We are honored. We are so honored.

Speaker 2

Well, give us a little bit of your history. Not just the church, but your marriage. I know you got three kids. Yeah, they're old now, which means you're old, so.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I feel it.

Speaker 3

He's old.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 4

You're not.

Speaker 3

Lauren, I remind everybody I'm much younger.

Speaker 4

I do, too.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it's. I don't think you have to say it. I think it's pretty clear just looking at us. It's either that or like, he's lived really hard. No, We've been married 25, almost 26 years.

Speaker 4

This is a big wish.

Speaker 1

So you just started, just celebrated 25. This is 26.

Speaker 3

It was an interesting summer. I think we're actually going to celebrate it this coming summer.

Speaker 1

I've got a surprise for you. Do you? I do, but not saying anything because it's a surprise.

Speaker 3

So I don't want to know I'm surprising her. I want to be surprised.

Speaker 1

That's right. And now that's risky. You surprise a woman like Lauren, it's risky because it could.

Speaker 4

But she likes it.

Speaker 1

She likes the surprise. But then once the surprise is there, surprise me.

Speaker 3

But read my mind.

Speaker 2

Better be the right surprise.

Speaker 1

I'm glad I have a good prophetic gift.

Speaker 2

I mean, I surprised Dan one time. She was visiting her sister or something for like a week. I got my buddy Rob said, we're painting the family room and we were.

So we watched Hoosiers. We painted the family room. She comes walking in. We're like, watch this. I filmed it. And Rob's like, she didn't like it.

Speaker 4

I'm like, oh, she hated it.

Speaker 2

She didn't just like it. Right. You never know.

Speaker 1

I would never touch the house. Like, I am. I grew up.

Speaker 2

I was young.

Speaker 1

White walls over headlights.

Speaker 2

Okay.

Speaker 1

I mean, that's how I grew up. I never lived in a house that had paint on the walls or a lamp. And Lauren, like one of our adjustments is beauty matters to Lauren in a way I did not grow up with.

Speaker 4

Yes.

Speaker 1

So I had to learn to walk through a dark room to try to find a lamp, even though there's a switch right here.

Speaker 3

We have compromised on dimmer switches on our overhead lights.

Speaker 1

There we go.

Speaker 3

So, yeah, you can flip it on, but don't have it full power unless you're looking for something.

Speaker 1

There we go. There's compromise.

Speaker 2

I've learned. Yeah, I've learned the same thing. And I literally wipe off every kitchen counter and bathroom counter.

Speaker 3

Yeah, Yeah.

Speaker 2

I can't stand spots because she's trained me.

Speaker 1

I feel some of that in me.

Speaker 2

I don't do the toilet, but we still do that.

Speaker 3

That's great.

Speaker 1

My guess is you're the one that's messing the toilet. Anyway, but anyway, that's probably too. Too much for the podcast.

Speaker 2

Too much for family life today.

Speaker 4

Okay, so kids.

Speaker 1

So we've got three kids. Our oldest is married. She's been married for about a year. Then we have a 19 year old son who's in school and working. And then we have a 15 year old daughter. So we are. Who is at PAO with me.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Last time I saw you guys.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I saw you guys walking through the lobby.

Speaker 1

Just a tall, beautiful, gregarious, wonderful soul. And she's. Yeah, they're great hangs.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 4

Are you feeling that as they're getting older? Like you're not that far away from being empty nesters, which is awesome, by the way.

Speaker 1

No, no, no, we're not. I don't think we're nervous about it.

Speaker 3

Well, in our family, they've kind of stuck close. I'm not sure about the third born. She's talking about California, Florida. And I'm like, okay, we'll come visit you.

But the other two, they like being around. And so it's kind of neat to see them grow into their own and become adults and to watch them have to adult.

Speaker 4

I'd want to hang out with you guys. Maybe we should move here.

Speaker 3

Hey, come on.

Speaker 2

I'm not moving to Texas.

Speaker 1

No.

Speaker 2

I love Snow and I'm minus 10 degree Michigan. It's awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1

You're not going to get it here. Three days of it here.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

You get three days of ten. Yeah. We, we, we have begun to.

I was just talking to somebody yesterday. It's just like this new season where there have been rhythms and disciplines in place so that we can be the kind of mom and dad and husband and wife and friends that we want to be.

And it just feels like, like I, I never had email on my phone until recently.

Speaker 3

Wow.

Speaker 1

Because I didn't want. I had this process where I'd put my hands on my desk, would thank God that he was gonna keep working. Cause ministry's never done it. Like, I'm building a deck and I can be like, the deck's done. Let me go home and have a beer and watch the game. Like there's always something, always a crisis, always.

So I'd put my hands on my desk. I would thank God that he was gonna keep working and I didn't have to. And then I'd drive home and then I had a little driveway prayer. Cause I never knew what I was walking into when the kids were little. They have Chandler blood, which is. It's destructive and energetic and lots of energy.

Speaker 4

We have three sons. We understand.

Speaker 1

So, you know, three boys. We at least got the two girls. But then, yeah, at least that's probably overspoken. So I would have this little prayer in the driveway because I didn't know what I was walking into. And I would just try to remind my heart. It's been given to me and me alone to be Lauren's husband. And these kids, daddies.

My friend JR Vassar always called it second shift. Like you're not done when you get home. It's like second shift. And your second shift's usually more important ultimately than your first one. And so I had that kind of second shift mentality. How can I walk in and be helpful? Imperfectly executed. Oh my gosh. Imperfectly executed.

But yeah. So now we're in a season where there's rarely chaos when I come home. You know, we just have a 15.

Speaker 3

Year old or if there's anyone there at all.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that would be a. That would be a big thing.

Speaker 3

She's about to drive and her friends are driving and so she's kind of got her own social life.

Speaker 1

Total extrovert. Wants to go, likes to play.

Speaker 2

I mean, Lauren, is that how it lived out? Because I'd love to talk marriage in ministry because we did it and we almost lost our marriage.

The year we started our church, I was planting this church and obsessed. I couldn't see it. I wanted to do what Matt, you just said, but I often just prayed that prayer and then I walked in the house and brought it with me.

And then she's like, you're not even here. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not. See, I really want to be over there anyway.

And we almost lost our marriage.

Speaker 1

So it's a.

Speaker 2

You know, it's hard cuz it never turns off and you're passionate about it and it's the kingdom of God.

And she felt like she couldn't compete with that.

Right, so how's that been for you guys from day one? Has it been hard or good or easy or all the above?

Speaker 3

All the above. I would say at first, you know, when we got to the church and this building that we're sitting in right now. Were you early 22? Pregnant with our first child and he was 28. And he is an older man, isn't he? Yeah, he is an older.

Speaker 1

She likes to bring it up. I don't know that we've ever done one of these when that didn't come out. That's actually later than it usually comes out. Usually first thing, you don't even ask her. She's like, I'm six years younger anyway.

Speaker 3

So like I was a new. Becoming a new mom. We'd been married for a couple of years, you know, so it was all very.

Speaker 1

Weren't doing well.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it was a tough.

Speaker 2

What do you mean you weren't doing well? Just struggle.

Speaker 1

We had a really rough first seven years.

Speaker 3

We Did. Yeah. I think we were still maturing, clearly. And we had a lot of baggage, and he had more than I did, but I had plenty, and it looked just prettier.

Speaker 1

I like to say that Lauren came in. Lauren came into the marriage with a backpack of baggage, and I came in.

Speaker 3

With a carry on.

Speaker 1

I came in with like, you would need, like, a pretty powerful locomotive to pull my baggage.

Speaker 2

Very similar.

Speaker 4

But it's okay, you know, we were similar. 24.

Speaker 2

I mean, you had six more years to live, so.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Those are hard years.

Speaker 3

That's right.

Speaker 4

So a lot of people are listening that, thinking we have so much baggage, we don't even know what to do with it.

Speaker 3

It's.

Speaker 4

There's so much. How do you even start?

Speaker 3

Yeah, I think we. We made solid attempts at first that were a little bit misguided. I would say some of it was for me, okay, I just need to try harder, pray more, read my Bible more. I just need to be better. And, you know, in my journal, I would write, "Lord, help me be a better wife." All these things without really getting to the heart of what I was experiencing, where it was this desire to be good.

Like, if I've struggled with my whole life, it's with perfectionism and people pleasing and performing. Like, what do you want me to do? I can do it. And that's even how I was with the Lord, just being like, earning and performing his love.

And so I would say, gosh, it wasn't until our second was born, when I was 25, that I started going to Celebrate Recovery at our church.

Speaker 2

Did you really?

Speaker 3

We were starting a recovery program. Celebrate recovery.

Speaker 2

Most honest people in the church, everybody, Everybody should go. There's not a person that shouldn't go.

Speaker 3

They're not hiding. And I was like, he had gone through counseling. I had done some counseling, but I was 25, had a three-year-old start. Like, maybe I had a baby at that point, our second born.

And I just had hit a wall where I was like, I cannot do it anymore. Like, I am trying to get at these deep-seated insecurities in my heart that just were not coming out.

And I was like, I'm gonna go to Celebrate Recovery. And the man, which is pretty crazy, the pastor's wife.

Speaker 2

Pastor's wife was showing up there.

Speaker 3

So I don't know if another pastor's wife has ever done that. To be fair, it was kind of the big kickoff. Matt had invited everyone to come to celebrate recovery, and I thought, "I'm gonna go." Sitting in the front row and hearing the man speak, he gave an illustration of this beautiful field that the Lord wanted to plant, but there were all these weeds in it. The person was trying to pull the weeds up and mow over them, but nothing was working. I mean, that was it—he was reading my mail. I was like, "Yeah, nothing's working for me. I don't know how to do this."

At the end, he kind of gave this altar call, this opportunity to surrender. You would go up there, pick up a poker chip, hug somebody, and then go back to your seat. I remember thinking, "I want to surrender. I've tried, and I cannot do it." I think I understood, as best I could, the grace of God, but it really had not penetrated my heart. I believed I knew the Lord and had a relationship with Him; I was 8 years old when I got saved. However, I was still bound up in a lot of perfectionism and people-pleasing.

That day, I remember the opportunity passed, and I was so mad at myself. I thought, "Oh, why didn't I do it?" But all these things were playing in my head, like, "You're the one. What are people gonna think?" Then, it came back around at the very end. They offered it one more time, and you could not hold me down. I was going straight up there. I think that was the beginning of breakthrough for me and healing—like, complete healing in our marriage.

Speaker 4

Could you see it, Matt?

Speaker 1

Yeah, well, you know, I was such a jerk at the time. And I'm being honest, where she's like, I just need to pray harder. I just need to be better. And I'm thinking, yeah, yeah, you do. Because, I mean, I'm telling you to my shame, because, like, every other area of my life is gold. I mean, every other area of my life was gold. I am beloved. Here I am, like, I am traveling and preaching. I am, you know, like. And then there's this area of my life that's broken and cold.

And I didn't. Like, I was just like, yeah, yes, let me pray for you. I mean, it was so awful, and I said awful things, and so. But there was this moment of grace where I was being a baby. I mean, I was just being a baby. And we were in my kitchen, and I'm like, I'm not going to be. I mean, like, I made, like, a covenant with God, so it's so terrible. I'm just like, I will not. I'm not gonna be my dad. I'm not gonna be explosive. I'm not gonna be. I'm just not gonna be that.

So what I would do when I was upset is just get icy and so. Which is just such a. I mean, golly, such a baby. And I was frustrated for something that didn't even make sense, something I'd made a story I was telling myself that wasn't true. And I'm in the kitchen and I'm just like ignoring being icy towards her. And she's like, are you okay? Well, I'm fine, you know, I'm fine. I'm not. And I think I'm winning. That's what's crazy. I'm not exploding. I'm doing amazing here. I'm the frickin best husband ever. I'm not screaming, I'm not.

Speaker 4

I'm not my dad.

Speaker 1

That's right. That was the way. It's anti vision rather than vision. So I didn't know this is the kind of husbands God's calling me to. I was going, I won't be this. Just a surefire way to become that. Just a little bit different. So you need vision to pull you forward. This is the kind of husband God's calling me to now. Let me live into that. Not. I don't want to be these things. I think you become those things. I think anti vision leads you in that direction.

And so I'm in the kitchen, I'm just pouting and slamming and feeling sorry for myself. And you know, she came around the island and just hugged me and just said, hey, I don't know what's going on in you, but I love you and I'm not going anywhere.

And I went, oh, this is a family program. I won't tell you what I thought, but I was like, oh, crap, it's me. It's not her, it's me.

Speaker 3

It was both of us.

Speaker 1

And so. But I could see clearly at that moment that all of the, yeah, yeah, get better at that was gone in me. And I was like, no, no, no, I've got something broken in me. And that's when I went and started to get help.

And then, you know, these things are starting to happen. And then now you gotta figure out, okay, how do we do this now? We've been in this dance, you know, at that point, probably five years.

And then the next two that we would say seven, were hard. The next two were learning a new dance, learning how we're gonna fight, how we're gonna express ourselves? How vulnerable can we be? What can I actually trust you with?

Speaker 4

Do you think every marriage, every person marriage has to come to that realization, oh, it's me?

Speaker 3

Yes.

Speaker 1

I think the best marriages do.

Speaker 4

Me too.

Speaker 1

The best marriages do.

Speaker 4

I was so prideful thinking, if Dave would get his act together, we could be great. And then I had that thing think, oh, it's me. It's so humbling.

Speaker 2

There's always me, though. That's what I mean.

Speaker 4

I think that's the start of getting.

Speaker 1

Rid of our baggage, that it was wonderfully crushing. It was wonderfully crushed. I mean.

Speaker 2

And also, you know, in the ministry, your story is very similar because you can find your life outside the home, no question. Because you're in a position where you have power and the lights are on you and you're preaching and all that stuff, and you feel.

I said to her, and it's part of our story, and many of our listeners have heard it, but I didn't say it to her in our kitchen. I said it to her on stage in front of a thousand women that she asked me to come speak with her at that.

I feel like everywhere I go outside the home, I get cheered, and I come home and I get booed.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

You know, I said that to the women. I try and say, hey, ladies, this is how it feels for a son. I look over at Ann. She's like, what just happened?

Speaker 4

He's never said that to me ever.

Speaker 2

Can you imagine? That drive home is like, you think I'm booing you? I'm helping you.

Speaker 1

I'm not booing you to you.

Speaker 4

But there's also that part of me you're more kind. You're trying to be a perfectionist. I am the one that's more verbal than Dave. So I'm like, oh, you think you're so amazing, Dave.

Speaker 3

You're so amazing.

Speaker 4

Like, maybe you could be that here.

Speaker 3

So, yeah.

Speaker 2

So what did it look like as you transitioned to a new dance, you know, seven years in, and you're starting this new dance?

Speaker 1

Yeah. I think both of us were trying to grow in, trusting each other with the parts of us that were super tender.

Speaker 3

Yes.

Speaker 1

And. And then learning. Oh, gosh, that just triggered the heck out of me. What was that?

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah. The root.

Speaker 1

Why? That is not personal. And that felt deeply personal to me.

And I know her. I know she's not trying to poke that.

And so then it was just, you know, trying and failing at, hey, yeah, that.

Gosh, we're still doing it. I mean, it just happened yesterday morning.

Speaker 4

It'll probably never end.

Speaker 1

No. Yeah, but. But now we've got language. Yeah. It's so I can get like. Yeah, I can get just like a low grade agitation that's not tied to anything. I have no idea. It's just a. I think it has to do with expectations.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And so this is. This is a week for us. I mean, this is a. This is a long, full week.

Speaker 2

And here we are. Here we are.

Speaker 1

You know what? Just jam that in there.

Speaker 2

Talking about your marriage.

Speaker 1

And so I woke up early and I had some things that I needed to get done. I've got deadlines that other people are waiting on. And so I got up early to kind of tackle that.

Then Lauren got up. She actually got up earlier than I was expecting her to get up and came in, and I got her coffee. That's kind of a ritual. I set her coffee by her Bible in her journal.

Then I sat back down. And then she was like, "Did I tell you about my conversation with Sarah yesterday?" And then I'm just thinking, "No. Oh, my gosh. I've got..."

Speaker 3

I thought I waited longer. I thought I waited for a good moment. Apparently I did not.

Speaker 1

And then. So then I. I know what's right.

Speaker 3

I know.

Speaker 1

But my heart and its knowledge of what's right versus what it wants is a very real internal battle. Yep. And so I literally shut my computer, I turned and faced her.

Speaker 4

Wow.

Speaker 1

But in my head, I'm thinking, surely this is over in three to five minutes.

Speaker 3

Is it that long?

Speaker 1

Listen, I don't know. That's what I'm telling you. The state of my heart was not such that I could take time. Yeah. I'm just kind of. I'm looking at her in her face. I am not with her. I am not man. I am in my heart.

Speaker 4

He's telling these things.

Speaker 1

I'm in my heart going, if I don't get that done by the time I leave to do this, I am going to owe a lot of people an apology. And so I'm just. Oh. And then. Okay, I mean, I get it. Oh, oh, all right. And then that made me even. I mean, it just set like this low grade agitation.

So then I'm snapping at Nor to get out of it. She's like, 15 more minutes. I'm like, no, you told me this was the time you wanted to get up. I'm not letting you switch the time. So feet on the floor.

And then I was just chirpy. Well, I don't think I was rude; I was just short.

Speaker 3

You're just short.

Speaker 1

And so then I'm in the bathroom. I'm about to leave. I got the thing done, and I was just like, hey, I've got that thing going on in me. It's not about you.

I'm just like. I can just feel. I'm a little agitated. I've got a lot going on. I've got a lot.

So that would have. We had to learn how to do that.

Speaker 4

I like that language. He's got that thing going on in it.

Speaker 3

Yes.

Speaker 1

And as a married couple, I don't understand it.

Speaker 4

You know it.

Speaker 3

You know.

Speaker 1

Yeah, she knows it. I don't understand, like, what is that? Like, I love this woman.

Speaker 4

I said it to Dave at the airport a few days ago. I'm like, ooh, there's something going on. It's that same thing. It's just snappy.

Speaker 3

Yes.

Speaker 4

And when it's not about me, I can laugh at it, right?

Speaker 3

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2

It's always like, is it about me?

Speaker 4

It's just not like, oh, man.

Speaker 2

I'm like, well, you can help me with the other stuff. I mean, how did this Celebrate Recovery thing, you know, help you?

You know what's really funny? I preach Sunday at a church. I'm sort of new there, and this lady, one of the ushers, I was trying to do that. I'm gonna go out in the lobby and meet people. And so I'm doing it.

I'm walking back in the auditorium, and this woman goes, hey, you know, I've been wanting to share this with you. And she hands me the poker chip. Celebrate Recovery. And I didn't realize what it was. And I took it and left. I'm like, thanks.

And then she goes, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 1

I'm just showing you that that's Ebenezer.

Speaker 2

So much like, oh, thanks. I put it in my pocket. She goes, what is your problem?

Speaker 1

Like, oh, you know what that says?

Speaker 3

No idea.

Speaker 2

I mean, but did that really change something to help you?

Speaker 3

Yeah, it did. I started. I went through the steps. Yet, I think as a. You know, I grew up First Baptist, Longview, Texas. You know, it was wonderful. Home, church, home to grow up in.

But, you know, doing the chants that you do, kind of like AA, it was very. It was just unsettling, but in the best way, where it felt uncomfortable. But I was like, this is good for me to feel uncomfortable and to kind of shake things up of just what I do.

Speaker 2

So you went through the whole program?

Speaker 3

I went through steps. I led a group through steps. It was really freeing to kind of answer these questions in a confidential setting with people I didn't really know well, and to be vulnerable. And for them to look at me. I mean, there were answers that I gave that I thought, surely they're gonna look at me like my head is coming off, you know? But they didn't. They're like, okay, thanks for sharing. I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I didn't die. They didn't run out the door, you know?

So it was very freeing to be vulnerable and then just to have the grace of God actually meet my heart, to see the things that I thought were okay that weren't okay, you know, to try to be perfect, to try to be good. Isn't that honorable? I was like, Jesus did that for you? And, yes. Do we want to live a life that pleases him? Absolutely. But we cannot earn his love and his favor. He just gives it freely.

And so that was something that I needed to work into my heart more deeply than I knew.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's good for. Yeah. I saw an interview, I don't know if you saw it maybe last year. Carrie Newhoff with John Crist.

Speaker 3

Oh, yes.

Speaker 2

And John did that. And he said, every person should go through soul recovery totally believer.

Speaker 1

How big tagline here at the village is it's okay to not be okay, but God doesn't leave us there. So we have a huge recovery culture here.

Like, there have been seasons where it's more of the front door than Sunday services. And almost every time we had mass baptisms where we were baptized and not. Not, like, stuff you see in the news.

We never baptized, like, a thousand people on a Sunday. But when we would baptize 30, 40 people and they would read their testimonies, 80% of them came through recovery.

Speaker 4

And I think you guys model that because you can say, go to celebrate recovery. But what you model is that authenticity of just saying, man, we messed up this week, just two days ago.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 4

You know, And I think people are relieved, like, well, it doesn't help anybody.

Speaker 1

For me to stand up there and wear a cape. Like, that's not going to help anybody. It's going to hurt them. And I won't say hide. I won't do it. And so we have been. We have done a good job.

And then I would just say, like, I still say the first seven years of our marriage were brutal. And you would see, like, some people. You can see new people in the crowd being like, I always have to go. My wife knows I'm saying that when, like, she was laying in bed next to me during that season, going, all my girlhood dreams have come true. We were both in a tough spot.

This is. And then the number of people over, you know, I've been here. It'll be 23 years this year. The number of people that were, like, the second you said that, I knew I could be here.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And so I just was. We were never. Neither one of us were ever interested in playing pastor and first lady.

Speaker 4

Yes.

Speaker 1

Like, we're very much human beings, first children of God, and that means we're being sanctified.

Speaker 4

Do you think couples. Do you think all couples need a group where they can totally be themselves and reveal their struggle?

Speaker 1

I think.

Speaker 3

I think so.

Speaker 1

Deep healing only takes place in community.

Speaker 4

Me, too.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

I don't think you can deeply heal by yourself.

Speaker 2

I mean, what's that look like for you guys? Because I'm. I'm thinking listeners, watchers, not having that.

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2

What's it look like?

Speaker 4

And how do they get it?

Speaker 3

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2

They want to be in your group, so we're going to invite them.

Speaker 1

Mine is very close.

Speaker 3

It's been set for a while. And it's. Gosh, that is such a hard question to answer, unfortunately, because it's so different for people.

Like, where you find that community, because there has to be reciprocity there. You have to find people that want it, too, and that are willing to be as vulnerable as you're wanting to go.

And sometimes it's a home group. Sometimes it's couples within a home group that you can just kind of feel, okay. I think they're wanting some of the same things we're wanting.

I think it helps to have proximity to either be working together.

Speaker 4

Kids.

Speaker 3

Kids. Yes. And so I think just keeping your eyes open, asking the Lord to show you, okay, who are people in our lives already that you are kind of drawing towards some vulnerability and just using discernment with that.

And I think it probably does take kind of taking the first step and kind of seeing, hey, are you Will. That we are wanting this? Are you guys wanting this?

I don't know. I feel like you probably get this question more than I do.

Speaker 2

I mean, do you have the same couples for years?

Speaker 3

Yes.

Speaker 1

Yeah, years.

Speaker 3

And it's. We've. Some. There's been some flex because some have moved away, but there are two couples in particular. It's been like 15 years.

Speaker 1

Well, with one of them 20.

Speaker 3

Yeah, one of them 20 and then 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2

We had the same thing. And we, you know, it's interesting that at one point we didn't know it, but one of the wives was having an affair.

Speaker 3

Oh, yeah. Yes.

Speaker 2

And nobody knew. And then it came out.

Speaker 4

And I remember I knew something was going on. I remember walking with her saying, I don't know what's going on, but I want you to know I don't.

And I just said this out of nowhere. I didn't think it was happening. Even if you would have an affair, we would be right with you.

We'd be right beside you. And then it came out that week that that was happening.

Speaker 2

And they made it. They made it. And they wouldn't have made it without this group.

Speaker 3

Oh, I believe it.

Speaker 1

No, you better be embedded. That's why I always try to say, hey, the command in the scripture is not that you go to church, but that you belong to one. Those are two very different ideas.

So I had a man talk to me. He said, every man. It was kind of a leadership kind of thing where he's like, every man needs a king's table. And he was using David as an example. They need a Joab who's like, what hill are we taking? What battle are we fighting? What? And then they need a Nathan to go, you're an idiot. Like, I can't believe you didn't see this. I can't believe you didn't fear the Lord. I can't believe. And then you need a Jonathan, a guy that just loves your soul. He was pointing out that on David's ascent, all three of those guys are present.

But then Jonathan dies, and here comes Bathsheba, and without that other man, that's the lover of your soul. He's not tied to your platform. He's not tied to you being the CEO. He's not tied to your success. He just loves who God made you. And it's this kind of deep friendship of care and concern where he'll just, like my guy, he'll just go, you all right? You just seem off or in that meeting, you were pretty quick to power up when it didn't feel like that was necessary. Everything all right? How's Lauren? Do I need to call Lauren? And Lauren knows him really well.

And so I have tried to kind of take that idea of a king's table and go, who's the older man? That I'm saying, any inconsistency in me pointed out, I don't want any difference between who I'm on stage, who I am with my wife, and who I am. So he's got the proximity. Tell me.

So my elders know if at my year in review, I find out something that you don't like that I'm doing, I am going to be a special kind of angry. If you just sat on that for six months and waited for the. I want it quick, fast, real time. That's how I learn. But I think that you have to invite it, because most people don't know how to do this.

And so by saying, I want to be a man of integrity, I don't want any secrets. I mean, I share my tax returns with these guys. Like, I don't want to sing. I don't want anybody ever walk up to me and go, guess what I found out about you? And have anything in me go, what?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Like, no, no, no. You. You. You have full access to my life. She has, like, she can look at my phone whenever she wants. She can and does. And like, who you texting with? And like, I don't. I don't want to live.

Speaker 3

Serious. I'm not.

Speaker 1

No, not at all. Is that a.

Speaker 4

This guy that shared that with you? Did you say it was a guy that shared it?

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 4

Is that a book? That should be a book. You should write that.

Speaker 1

I'm gonna. Nobody write this until I can get to it.

Speaker 2

I just took notes.

Speaker 1

It's fine. It's fine.

Speaker 4

And I think it's true for women, too.

Speaker 1

You wouldn't call it the queen's table.

Speaker 3

We call it the queen's. Queen's table. Yeah.

Speaker 1

In fact, we. I shot on my podcast the Overcomers. Me and the two of these guys that are in that circle, we sat and we just talked about this stuff.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Like, what does it actually look like? How has it built over the years? What's the price that's paid? What's the benefit for the price paid?

And in the comments and YouTube, they're like, when's Lauren gonna do the queen's table?

And I was like, I'll talk to her. She needs to get on here.

Speaker 2

What do you guys do in terms of boundaries? Because in ministry, we talked early about that, and then as our church grew and grew and grew, it's like, wow, we gotta have boundaries.

Women come up to me after a sermon and they want prayer. And I'm like, yeah, go talk to her. You know, it's like, we had to have those.

So what'd that look like?

Speaker 1

I don't mentor or meet with women that aren't Lauren. We have a beautiful staff of really gifted women ministers, and they are more than willing and available, but I don't disciple women. I don't meet alone with women. I don't.

I mean, they might come into a room that I'm in with, like, a triage kind of moment for one reason or another, but.

Yeah, but then we do have, like, we do have friends that are the opposite sex, but in an appropriate way, right?

Speaker 3

Yeah, let's.

Speaker 4

Let's shift it, because, you guys, I feel like everything you're talking about is, like, this wealth of information, but I also want to hear about parenting.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 4

And so as we were talking, and let me just say, too, one of the things I love about you, too, in terms of your relationship is your friendship.

Speaker 1

We have a lot of fun.

Speaker 4

I know. You can tell. You can see it even on Instagram, on posts. Like, they really like each other.

Speaker 3

We do.

Speaker 1

That's why we're not worried ultimately about, like, we'll miss when Nora's gone. That'll. It'll be a transition.

Speaker 3

It will be.

Speaker 1

But I'm not. We have not cultivated a life where we have to get to know each other.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

You're gonna love it.

Speaker 1

Oh, we are, because we're that way.

Speaker 2

And it's a joy.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

I mean, even sometimes when I come over now, I'm like, what are you doing here? You know, get out of here.

Speaker 1

We're trying to go. What can we do? Our hobbies don't overlap, so we're trying to go, oh, really? Develop a not.

Speaker 3

I mean, he does jiu jitsu.

Speaker 2

You gotta go pickleball.

Speaker 3

I love pickleball. And we have dominated lately.

Speaker 1

We've been 70 on our last little team.

Speaker 2

Let's go.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 3

We're about to build a pickleball court out there.

Speaker 4

Yeah. We're putting one in our yard.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

More committed than we are.

Speaker 3

And then I think I'm really embarrassed, invested in. Even though I'm not on staff at the Village, I'm really invested in the Village and his role.

And I'm so. I love talking shop at home. I'm like, what's going on? How can I pray? What do you.

I'll give feedback on what I think, so. He loves that.

Speaker 2

So how have you built the friendship? You do? I do, too. I always love this. You want their feedback.

Speaker 1

You want their wisdom. Like a matriarchal authority who's like, she's just got prophetic skills that are greater than mine.

And so I've often told different. Even. Even guys in preaching, I'm like, if you. If my voice has blessed you, then you've heard Lauren's voice.

So I'm always. I want it from her. She sees differently than I do and I need it.

Speaker 4

Yeah, we both.

Speaker 1

And so I've not been the guy that were like, I'm not talking shop with you because you won't be able to forgive them later. Or I've just not been that guy.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

She has not shown herself.

Speaker 2

Has she ever text you while you're preach preaching and told you what to do on the stage?

Speaker 1

No, but she has been quick after to go, that's not a real. That's not a real word.

Speaker 4

He'll see. No, this is Dave's security. He does.

Speaker 2

He did it Sunday. She's watching this stream.

Speaker 4

If you're listening to me and you think, oh, you could add this or do that.

Speaker 2

No, I do every sermon.

Speaker 4

You asked me.

Speaker 3

You say that like you invited me.

Speaker 1

As long as I want it to.

Speaker 2

Be, at least a lot of time.

Speaker 4

It'Ll come up on it.

Speaker 2

Maybe she forgot.

Speaker 3

She was afraid she'd forget. And she was like, let me make this.

Speaker 4

I'm like, oh, this would be helpful right here.

Speaker 2

She's always right. She's 100% right. So how have you built a friendship if it isn't common interest?

Speaker 1

I just think we like each other.

Speaker 3

We do. We just like each other. We like spending time with each other. And I think we have common interests.

Speaker 1

We like good food.

Speaker 3

Yeah. Food.

Speaker 1

We like hotels. We like nice hotels.

Speaker 3

Stories.

Speaker 1

That's so worldly. But we like it.

Speaker 4

It's okay.

Speaker 3

It's all right.

Speaker 1

We like a nice hotel.

Speaker 3

We're bougie like that. But yeah, I think just we've always liked each other and we've always been. I mean, he's always been my best friend, and so I don't.

Speaker 4

What would you say to the couples that are thinking we don't have that.

Speaker 3

Right.

Speaker 1

Yeah. So friendship with anyone has to be cultivated. Like, it just has to be cultivated. And I know somebody's like, well, not me. I met this guy. We were thinking. And I'm just going, ah, probably not. Yeah, probably not.

Speaker 2

You.

Speaker 1

You chose some proximity, you chose some time. You chose.

And then the thing we both did. Deeply love the Lord and love to watch him work.

And, you know, Lauren writes songs and sings and she teaches and she writes and she.

And I'm preaching and writing and leading and that. That becomes a space where now.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

We're talking a lot about the kingdom. We're talking a lot about what God's doing in our heart, what he's doing in this place, what he's doing through this thing God's given us to do.

Speaker 4

Fun.

Speaker 1

It's so fun. It's just the best. Because it's never. It's never going to be over. It's just the next season.

Speaker 2

Is there an aspect that's like the spiritual part of your relationship? Because I know for us, sometimes I separated that as a pastor, I'm like leading the congregation and I come home and there was a sense that she's like, could you lead me? Not, like, preach the sermon at me, but be as passionate at home about God as you are on the stage. Have you experienced it or how do you.

Speaker 1

I think probably mourning has longed for me to do that more than I have. Do you think?

Speaker 3

I think so. I mean, you do a good job, but definitely when you. You do set the tone for our home and when you seem to be on fire and. And not that you're not always on fire, but there's seasons. You can't always maintain that. I mean, it just has an exponential effect on me, on the kids.

Speaker 2

Lauren, have you ever said this? One time. And our listeners have heard this.

Speaker 1

She knew.

Speaker 4

She's like, you guys, you can tell that I'm like a very.

Speaker 2

I won't go to the full blown thing. Short versions. One time after a long weekend of preaching, and I was even on the sideline with the Lions. So it was a football season. So I'm exhausted. Sunday night, you know.

Speaker 3

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2

Preached, I think seven times. Anyway, I lay in bed and she literally says out loud, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 4

I first said, man, I watch you preach and pray. I'm like, yes.

Speaker 2

No, you didn't say anything. She said right out of her mouth, I love this. I wish the guys in our church lived here.

Speaker 1

Here.

Speaker 2

That's what she said.

Speaker 1

Oh, my word.

Speaker 4

No, I said the beginning.

Speaker 2

No, you did not. No, you didn't.

Speaker 4

You're so good at praying.

Speaker 2

No, that I asked her, I'm laying there. She said, I wish the guy led her church living. And I turned her. I go, what do you mean? And I was edgy right away.

Speaker 1

Like, what do you mean?

Speaker 2

And she goes, I watched you this morning. You're passionate. You're casting vision. And here's where we're going. Then you're praying with. He goes, when I. You don't bring that here. And I wish you come home.

Speaker 4

You're a dud.

Speaker 1

Oh, my gosh. Sunday night. You can't say that to a man on Sunday night.

Speaker 2

I think you found your Nathan.

Speaker 3

I think you found your Nathan at your Nathan.

Speaker 1

In the house with you.

Speaker 2

I don't need her right now.

Speaker 1

And, man, if God would have done that with Nathan or with David, who knows?

Speaker 4

You guys, I was so bad. We've written books of how not to do.

Speaker 2

I jumped up and said something to the effect I don't even know. I got hot. I'm like, let me tell you.

Speaker 1

I know.

Speaker 2

I know the man at this church. You got the best husband in this whole stinking church. Let me tell you. They're losers compared to me. But she was right. She was right in terms of I brought it.

Speaker 4

The energy.

Speaker 2

I'm not saying I should walk in the house like, you know, but it was like a different level. Like, there was a part of me that when you said earlier, it's like, you know, I drive home, I have this mailbox now. Is like, take the job. Put it in there. Dad, husband, let's go. Second shift. I've never heard that term. That's so good. And I'm like, I was not doing that. And that was on me. It's like, I need to bring the most important disciples in my life.

Speaker 3

I'm right here.

Speaker 2

What am I doing?

Speaker 4

You know, we have a book called how to speak life to your husband, when all you want to do is yell at him.

Speaker 3

Yes. I think that's amazing.

Speaker 4

So you can say, I'm trying to get better.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

So that has been something you've had to navigate as well.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

The spiritual part of your marriage relationship.

Speaker 1

I think so, for sure. I think I am more. And I don't quite know why. I think I've been more timid there with Lauren than I have with others.

Speaker 2

That's a good word. That's what I did.

Speaker 3

Well, it's very vulnerable.

Speaker 1

Yeah. Maybe that's what it is, is where I don't feel timid with the elders. I don't feel timid with the church. I don't. But I can feel well. And I think part of it's like. And this is just a conversation. It might be like you. You know, in psychology, that idea of golden child. I wonder, like, if I'm just going, gosh, she's so fierce. She's so. Does she want me to lead that way? Oh, and then I wouldn't even know. Like, okay, what does that look like now for me to lead that way? If I know exactly how that looks? If you give me a room full of 12 men or I'm speaking to. I'm trying to move a congregation.

Speaker 2

Right, Right.

Speaker 1

Man, that's not gonna. That is not Gonna translate to leading. So I'm curious now. This is gonna be a great date night conversation for us.

Speaker 4

And you're a strong leader too.

Speaker 2

So that word timid is.

Speaker 1

That's what I feel. That's what I have felt around it.

Speaker 4

Yeah, you would say that. And you didn't have a dad. Dave never had a dad.

Speaker 2

I didn't have a model, but I always felt like she's so capable. She doesn't.

Speaker 4

Yeah, a lot of men feel that, I would imagine.

Speaker 1

I don't know.

Speaker 3

Especially. Cause I feel like a lot of women. Like, I went to this. I went to this, like, little prayer room yesterday, and it was completely filled with women, you know, and it was the time of day, which makes more sense that women might have some flexibility there. But it does seem like women just are already kind of there. And so I can see how that would be intimidating for a man and even for. I mean, even for you. So. So I hope your listeners are encouraged. And I think for you, if I were to share just maybe an invitation of, hey, the Lord's putting this on my heart. What do you think? I kind of wanna try this out in our home or for us. And just inviting me into that, I think is a great way to start instead of, okay, this is what we're doing. I for sure will be like, hold on.

Speaker 1

There's the timidity right where I'm like.

Speaker 3

So I'm helping you.

Speaker 4

Like, or even kids, like, dad, what are you doing?

Speaker 1

The kids. I think I'm less timid with the kids and probably more timid with Lauren. But the. Yeah, I don't like it. It is. You have always felt that way to me. So I've always been like, I think we're good at home. I think things are really good at home.

Speaker 3

They are. I do feel like where you are personally at home with the Lord is contagious. And so I think that always helps. But yeah, just.

Speaker 4

Just to Dave too, like, man, the power that you have. Even with our sons, when he says something, they're like, locked in and I'm jealous of it. I don't think he understands the power that he carries.

Speaker 2

I'm powerful.

Speaker 1

That's what I am talking about.

Speaker 4

Not being that big leader, but just.

Speaker 3

His voice, the weight of a dad.

Speaker 2

Let's talk parenting.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Because raising kids in the ministry and I'm guessing you had the same dream we had. We don't our boys to be walking with the Lord when they're lawyers.

Speaker 3

Yes. That's what we want.

Speaker 2

How did that Go. And how is that going? And what would you say to parents trying to do that?

Speaker 4

We don't have much time. Maybe we could do, like. Here's something.

Speaker 2

You got 15 minutes.

Speaker 4

Do we?

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Matt can be late. No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I certainly can't.

Speaker 2

No, we can't.

Speaker 3

We can definitely.

Speaker 2

We've got about 10.

Speaker 4

Here's what we did. Right. And here's something I wish we would have done a little different.

Speaker 2

Okay. There you go.

Speaker 3

Okay, that's good. You start, babe.

Speaker 1

Yeah, she. She is a little longer, deeper processor than I am, apparently. I used to say I was fast and she was slow. And she's like, I'm not slow.

Speaker 4

I used to say that.

Speaker 1

And I'm like, well, then are you saying I'm shallow? Anyway, we'll work through it. We'll work through it on date night with this other conversation you guys have helped us with. But I. I thought we did a exceptional job at time. Really. I like for all that we were doing. Like, I coached teams. I was present. I was. I was eager to get home to be with them. I think we did that very well.

Speaker 2

And your wife is agreeing.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Yes.

Speaker 2

It isn't. I thought I did.

Speaker 4

We usually look at the wife.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And that's smart.

Speaker 3

We brought them with us on some things.

Speaker 1

Like, my kids have better passports than most of us.

Speaker 3

Amazing trip. Yeah. Because he was invited to speak somewhere.

Speaker 1

London and to Australia and. Yeah. And then I. Second thing I would say we did well is I took them with me when I went.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Including hospital visits. I would take them with me if the hospital isn't one. Too bad.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

I would take them with me. I just want them. This is. This isn't daddy's job. This is who daddy is. And let's go. Let come with me. And we did. We. I mean, I. Like, you saw me. Nora was with me at pao. That was a trip that Lauren couldn't go on. She had something going on. And so I said, nora, not taking one of our pastors. We can spend time scheming. I'm taking my little girl, and I'm gonna get great time with her. We're gonna steal away one day and spend all day at Disney. And I'm. I'm laying my yes down.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

So there's no reason for me to say no. So you. You tell me what you want to do. And so I think we did that really well. Gosh. The list of what we didn't do well, I think is much longer. Yes, it gets much longer. I think there were things about each one of our kids that we caught late.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And by the time we caught it there, there had been some damage done. Each of my kids responded differently to be a Matt Chandler's kid. I had a kid that hated it. Loved the perks.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

But hated it. Like when, like when this kid was a kid kid. Like if other little kids at the Christian school would try to be this kid's friend, there was this kind of, do they really want to be my friend? And then if they ever ask about me, she'd put them in the category of. And then later move to public school. And there were people. Oh, aren't. Aren't you that priest's kid or aren't you that. And holy kid. Holy kid. And she dang sure wasn't going to be that. We caught that stuff late. And then the other two have had different but like it.

Speaker 4

And then what would you have done if you had caught it earlier?

Speaker 1

I think all I know to do is go after their heart in it and try to soothe whatever part is broken. Try to get at. Which the kid might not even understand.

Speaker 4

Right. They probably don't even know.

Speaker 1

Right. And. And so, I mean, you know this as a parent, you're always brutal on yourself more than. Yeah. I think that I. I think me getting bad sick when they were little little marked them in a unique way.

Speaker 4

How old were they when that happened?

Speaker 3

Six, four and six months.

Speaker 2

What do you mean? What way did it mark him?

Speaker 1

So I. I think for one of my kids, they had a very hard time trusting God after that. Like, even though, like, even though God healed me.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And I would bring that up. I'm here.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

I've been healed. But in that little soul.

Speaker 3

So hard to reconcile.

Speaker 1

But why would he. Why would he let that happen to you?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Like, why would he. And there still is a wrestle.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

In that kid, which is understandable.

Speaker 4

Totally.

Speaker 1

Can he fully be trusted?

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Can I really trust him with my whole life?

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 1

It's heartbreaking for me.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Heartbreaking for me.

Speaker 2

Yeah. And so we still all. We all still ask that question.

Speaker 3

Yeah, no doubt we do.

Speaker 1

That's.

Speaker 2

That's interesting.

Speaker 3

I think too, we allowed some influences in their lives that I think we did not use discernment in. And I think we just. I know the Lord can use anything, but if I could go back, I would have stayed in there more instead of just letting that person kind of come in, have people. Have people. People that I trusted, you know?

Speaker 1

Adult.

Speaker 3

Yeah, adult.

Speaker 1

Like another kid.

Speaker 3

Where I thought they would be a good influence. And there was just an unhealthy back edge to it, you know, where I could have been there.

Speaker 4

So you wish you would have stayed in that relationship.

Speaker 3

Yes. A little bit tighter. Not kind of given that person space. So I think that's a regret or something I would do differently. And then even just speaking into who God made them to be, like, being more vocal about what I saw in them, that was good that I know God planted in them. I know I said it, but I'm just like, did I say it enough? I'm not sure because I think so much so often we can get stuck on their behavior or we see a trajectory and we're like, we're training them. We're trying to, like, avoid pain as much as possible. And so that can communicate maybe a message to them that just through their little filters gets skewed a little bit, or probably the voice of the enemy just grabs it, you know, and uses something that you did not intend it to be used that way. So some of it's, gosh, in your control, some of it's out of your control. And so another thing would be just praying, just contin. Like, I think I prayed well, more contending prayer, but more contending prayer as they were. As they were growing up. Yeah.

Speaker 2

But I contend now about adult kids. You've got one married.

Speaker 3

Yeah. And that's why.

Speaker 4

Does that feel different?

Speaker 3

Yes. And that's why I contend even more, because I realized how much control I do not have.

Speaker 4

I don't think that is talked about enough with adult children. You have no control anymore, and it takes your breath away. I have no control.

Speaker 1

And you better pick your spots for the sake of the relationship.

Speaker 2

You don't want to crush that.

Speaker 3

You don't. So it's a challenge. But just learning to be a friend and to not say things and to pray them instead.

Speaker 4

That's why prayer becomes so huge the older you get. Like, it's the only thing I have. It's the only thing I can do.

Speaker 1

Which was probably true when we were younger people.

Speaker 4

Exactly.

Speaker 3

We're seeing it now.

Speaker 4

But we thought we had control.

Speaker 3

I got this exactly right.

Speaker 1

Certainly an illusion.

Speaker 4

Yes.

Speaker 3

And like cheering them on in the adulting decisions they're making and even in their mistakes, like, you know, their mistakes have been made. And I'm like, you know what? I hate that for you. But I am so proud of how you have been resilient in this and you've made the most of it, and you haven't given up. And that, to me, is more impressive than if everything went great.

Speaker 4

Yes.

Speaker 1

That's good.

Speaker 4

That's really good.

Speaker 2

Well, I'll end with this. I know. You know, your older man has another meeting. He has to go to Your older man.

Speaker 3

Older man.

Speaker 1

I am going with them. I'm going with them.

Speaker 2

No. Thanks a ton. I know you got your lives is busy. Thank you for opening up your church and letting us come in and do this. It's been a privilege. Thanks.

Speaker 1

Thank you, guys.

Speaker 2

Your impact on the world, seriously, your impact has been.

Speaker 4

And it's cool, Matt, because when our son. When our middle son got married first, and I think they're in their first year of marriage, and they're, like, figuring out growing and. And she said, I'm listening to this pastor right now. Like, who is it? Matt Chandler. And so I started listening to you. Like, when I want to hear who she's listening to, I'm like, oh, my gosh, this is so good. So thank you for impacting the entire country and parts of the world. And, Lauren, you are incredible.

Speaker 1

She is.

Speaker 4

Yeah. Thank you for making Matt younger and better.

Speaker 1

Both of those are true. Both of those are true.

Speaker 3

Thank y' all.

Speaker 4

Hey, thanks for watching. And if you like this episode, you better like it. Just hit that, like, button, and we'd.

Speaker 2

Like you to subscribe. So all you got to do is go down and hit the subscribe. I can't say the word subscribe. Hit the subscribe button. I don't think I can say this.

Speaker 4

Word like and subscribe.

Speaker 2

Look at that. You say it so easy. Subscribe. There it goes.

Featured Offer

It’s Giving Tuesday!

Would you partner with us to have 2x the impact on marriages and families in need?

Past Episodes

Loading...
*
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
Y

About FamilyLife Today®

FamilyLife Today® is an award-winning podcast featuring fun, engaging conversations that help families grow together with Jesus while pursuing the relationships that matter most. Hosted by Dave and Ann Wilson, new episodes air every Tuesday and Thursday.

About Dave and Ann Wilson

Dave and Ann Wilson are co-hosts of FamilyLife Today©, FamilyLife’s nationally-syndicated radio program.

Dave and Ann have been married for more than 40 years and have spent the last 35 teaching and mentoring couples and parents across the country. They have been featured speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® since 1993, and have also hosted their own marriage conferences across the country.

Dave and Ann helped plant Kensington Community Church in Detroit, Michigan where they served together in ministry for more than three decades, wrapping up their time at Kensington in 2020.

The Wilsons are the creative force behind DVD teaching series Rock Your Marriage and The Survival Guide To Parenting, as well as authors of the recently released books Vertical Marriage (Zondervan, 2019) and No Perfect Parents (Zondervan, 2021).

Dave is a graduate of the International School of Theology, where he received a Master of Divinity degree. A Ball State University Hall of Fame Quarterback, Dave served the Detroit Lions as Chaplain for thirty-three years. Ann attended the University of Kentucky. She has been active with Dave in ministry as a speaker, writer, small group leader, and mentor to countless women.

The Wilsons live in the Detroit area. They have three grown sons, CJ, Austin, and Cody, three daughters-in-law, and a growing number of grandchildren.

Contact FamilyLife Today® with Dave and Ann Wilson

Mailing Address

FamilyLife ®

100 Lake Hart Drive

Orlando FL 32832

Telephone Number

1-800-FL-TODAY

(1-800-358-6329)


Social Media

Twitter: @familylifetoday

Facebook: @familylifeministry

Instagram: @familylifeinsta