FamilyLife Today®

Speaker 1

I think a lot of us as women, as moms are thinking, how do we find the good when we feel so overwhelmed and burdened with the hard?

Speaker 2

How we narrate our lives really does matter. You know, I have a pile of dishes in the sink. That is true. But it means that I have people that I love that are living here.

Yes. I have piles of laundry. God has provided clothes for us to wear. So again, it's just flipping that script.

Speaker 1

Okay, we have Jamie Erickson with us today, and she's going to talk about overwhelmed moms.

Okay, Jamie, just to start us out, I'm going to give you 15 to 20 seconds, and I want you to just name all the things that moms are thinking about.

Overwhelmed moms. What's going through their heads?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Mealtimes, field trip forms, car pickup lines, laundry work assignments, the insurance forms you have to fill out, the grocery list that's on your counter that you forgot.

Your friend who's having a baby and you need to buy a baby gift, your husband's work luncheon that you're supposed to make brownies for, his dry cleaning that you forgot to pick up, your teenager who's now dating someone you have never met and need to plan a dinner meet and greet with youth group outings.

I mean, the list can go on and on and on.

Speaker 1

And you haven't even mentioned yourself. Oh, like I need to drink something or eat something. I need to read my Bible. You haven't even mentioned that because your heart is always about everybody else.

Speaker 3

I noticed the only thing you mentioned about your husband is stuff you have to do for him. Is that where we are? No, I was waiting for and love my husband.

Speaker 2

Love my husband.

Speaker 3

Make passionate love to my husband.

Speaker 2

Let's rewind the tape. I'll put that number one. Okay.

Speaker 3

Put that in there.

Speaker 1

But it is true, isn't it? I don't know if men do this, but we as women, I always have that list in my head.

Speaker 2

Yes. It's an ongoing, ever present brain drain that just continues to cycle in your head.

Speaker 1

Brain drain?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

And do you think almost all of us have it? Especially I think even without kids, we still have it. But then you add kids to that picture.

Speaker 2

I think women are wired. But like you said, when you add kids and then the more kids you have, I don't necessarily know, it just adds. I think it multiplies because you have five.

Speaker 1

You would know this, right? That's true.

Speaker 3

Well, it's interesting. We Ann does this illustration, a visual that's in our vertical Marriage, small group curriculum. And we just did it last week in Colorado for an NHL hockey conference.

Speaker 1

Sure.

Speaker 3

Hey, Minnesota, you're hockey. Right. And so the short version is it's an illustration about how men and women, hockey. Husband's wife, think differently about sex.

Speaker 1

It's not always the same, but generally speaking.

Speaker 3

But I watched it again as she did it, and it's basically the idea the husband's upstairs, and it's an exaggeration, but he has one thing on his mind. The wife comes into the bedroom and she starts picking up all these bags. She ends up having.

Speaker 1

I'm downstairs thinking. I know Dave's upstairs waiting for me, but I'm thinking, okay, do we have food for lunches tomorrow? I need to pack all those lunches.

Do we have milk for breakfast? What am I having for breakfast? And what am I having for dinner?

Does the dog have water? My mom's sick. I don't like who my son is dating. I need to pray him out of that.

Speaker 3

So as she's doing a million things.

Speaker 1

And each time I pick up a.

Speaker 3

Bag, so she crawls into. You were standing on stools, and she crawls into, like, the bed. And this is what's on. Every time she does this, women stand up and cheer.

Speaker 2

Yes.

Speaker 3

And all the guys in the room are like, what is happening right now? That's really your lives.

Speaker 2

It's the. If you give a mouse a cookie. I think women's minds are always wired that way. We see the one thing that leads us to the next thought, to the next thought, to the next thought, and eventually it's cycles back to the beginning.

Speaker 3

If you give a mouse a cookie.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that old picture book from, you know. Did you ever read that to your.

Speaker 1

Kids when they were little and grandkids.

Speaker 2

You know, the mouse sees a cookie, and then that reminds him, oh, I'm thirsty. I need milk. Which reminds him of this other thing. And, you know, so the cycle goes.

Speaker 3

Hence the title, Overwhelmed mom.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

The subtitle is "Quiet the chaos. Mind what matters and enjoy your life again."

I think a lot of us as women, as moms, are thinking, "I don't have time to enjoy my life because I'm so overwhelmed." And I'm not sure how to find joy because I'm so overwhelmed.

So as I was reading your book, I was struck by your Tuesday night making tacos.

Speaker 3

Do you remember that?

Speaker 2

Yes, very acutely.

Speaker 1

Take us back to that. Because I think so many of us, as women, are dealing with stuff that's not easy.

Speaker 2

So.

Speaker 1

So take us Back to that night that you're making tacos.

Speaker 2

So I was standing in my kitchen shoving fistfuls of lettuce and cheese into taco shells, hoping to, you know, bless my family. And all the while, I'm sending a video message to three very dear friends of mine with tears coming down my eyes, kind of rehearsing and recalling the last year. This was in 2022, and I have had some very overwhelming seasons in my life, but this year there was just something different about 2022.

It started when my husband. My husband works at home for himself and one of his biggest clients decided to pull the plug on their relationship. And that sent our finances into a tailspin for about six months. Just after that, my mother's dementia diagnosis increased rapidly and she no longer recognized me when I called her. Um, and so the emotional, physical, even financial toll of that was hard on all of her daughters, including me. My oldest, not my oldest, one of my older sisters, who was like a second mother to me my whole life, lost her seven-year battle with cancer.

I was tasked to give the eulogy at her funeral, which no one wants to do. In order to get to that funeral, we purchased a car. And two months later, my husband hit a deer with it and the car was totaled. There was a loophole in our insurance policy that rendered our losses very great and we wouldn't be fully reimbursed. And this was our only car, not just any car, it was our only car.

And, you know, the hits just kept coming, you know, one blow after another in 2022. And so as I was standing in the kitchen that morning or that evening making tacos, just pouring my heart out to my friends in desperation, I was, yes, all of those things happened, but I could not see past any of those things to even some of the hits of the year. You know, I was recalling my year in such a way that was amplifying all of those tragedies because that's all I could see. And I couldn't see the gifts and the blessings that God did bring that year. And so that was that evening of just tears over tacos.

Speaker 1

And that right there is really easy to slip into all the negative to see all the negative. I've been there and I've shared that, like even thinking of daughter-in-laws talking to them about, you know, my child's sick and this one's sick and this one's cutting teeth and I'm not sleeping.

And somebody else, like there's financial things going on. It's so easy to get so bogged down and overwhelmed that we don't see God in it, that we don't see the good. And there is good.

How? So take us through some of that. How do we find the good when we feel so overwhelmed and burdened with the hard?

Speaker 2

Yeah, well, I think the first thing that we have to think about is how, and you said it, how we narrate our lives really does matter. When we forecast doom by only talking about all the things that are hard, we basically step into that. What you narrate about your life, you will step into.

And I'm not saying there isn't a time or a place or specific people that we can share our concerns. Obviously, I was sharing my concerns with three women that I knew for a fact would pray for me, would call me, and exhort me to walk faithful in the areas of my life that I could walk faithful and be steadfast in.

But I think in our cultural moment, there is this, like, I'm a hot mess Mombi, and I'm just stress dumping on everyone all the chaotic parts of my life without realizing, one, the destruction that that's actually causing in your life.

Speaker 1

What do you mean by that?

Speaker 2

Because you will step into the story that you tell about yourself. And so if I'm only ever talking about all of the negative and never, ever seeing the good that God has put in front of me, that's where I'm going to stay. You step into the story that you write, and then also, I think it does just exponential, detrimental harm to your already overwhelming circumstances.

Because when I am, I'll use social media, for example, because this is, I think, the current thing that we all do. We take our worries and our concerns to social media as if, you know, your daughter's friend's soccer mom is actually going to help the situation. You know, she's going to read all about your story on social media. And what's she going to do? She's just going to keep scrolling. She's not going to pray for you. She's not going to call you to practical tips that might be helpful, whatever.

So when we share our concerns on social media or, you know, dump all of our things on social media or even make sarcastic comments because we think that they're funny, you know, keep us all laughing so that we're not crying, we share social media memes about how our lives are one big giant dumpster fire.

Speaker 1

And some of those are funny, and.

Speaker 2

Some of them are very funny because they feel so true, don't they? But what we have to remember is there. There is a who behind that distress dumping. And it's usually our husband and our kids.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

We're sharing some intimate details about our lives in negative ways, about the people who really should matter the most to us and that we love the most.

And I guess I would just really exhort a woman to ask themselves, would I want those same thoughts shared about me on social media?

Speaker 1

And is that all you're feeding your brain?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Because if you're not in God's word, if you're not seeing the greatness of your husband or your kids and your life, then, man, I mean, we just wrote a book, and one of the stats I said was that 85% of our thoughts are negative and 95% of our thoughts are repetitive.

So think about that. When Paul says to train up our minds, to take our thoughts captive and that we're transformed by the renewing of your minds, that makes sense.

Then, like, I have to fight against what you're saying. And I love that even the title of that chapter, narrate a good story.

Speaker 2

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, Proverbs said. So you can actually bring life to your overwhelming days. When things feel fractured and broken and bitter and bruised, you have the power of words to flip the script.

Speaker 3

What's that? What's that look like? How do you do that?

Speaker 2

Well, I think one, it's know who to take your concerns to. First and foremost, are you putting them at the feet of Jesus, the one who can actually do something about it and doing that proactively?

And then are you gathering a community of other women, not just women who rub shoulder to shoulder with you? I think there's a definite need for that. Like, I need another woman who is also raising children in porn culture and knows what that looks like.

But I also need to reach ahead to a woman who is farther along on the journey and can look back at me and say, yes, the journey, the way is hard, but it's good, so keep coming forward.

Speaker 3

It just will pass.

Speaker 2

Yeah, right. And I think that, you know, God has designed the church. And I mean, like you and me, the church, not necessarily a building, but for that purpose.

And I think when we look, when we're looking for those people who can stand shoulder to shoulder with us and for us and like, be the person standing in the gap on behalf of us, our families, our kids, that's who we should be looking to, our other women within our local body of Believers that God has put right in front of us.

Speaker 1

I say that all the time as a woman, and maybe men are like this too. Dave, you'll have to say that I.

I always need somebody ahead of me, beside me, and behind me because those we. No matter how old you are, you have somebody behind you in age who are discouraged and they're walking through.

Maybe what you did walk through is exactly what you're saying, man, but that feeds your soul.

Speaker 2

Mothers, sisters and daughters in the faith is what I always say. And I think you're right. Every woman needs an example of each one of those relationships in her life.

Speaker 1

What about.

Speaker 3

Do you have that?

Speaker 2

Yes, absolutely.

Speaker 3

Yeah. How often do you get to talk to like your mentor?

Speaker 2

Not as much in this season as I would like. We moved about six years ago to a new community, and it has been a little bit of a hard go in finding those relationships.

We are in a college town, and so honestly, I'm the oldest woman in every room, it feels like. But that just compels me to be more intentional.

Speaker 1

Yeah, you're a discipler.

Speaker 2

That's right. And we live in an age where I can still reach out to the women who for, you know, the last two decades have poured into me richly.

Speaker 1

And I think too, what's been helpful for me, I'll have some women that are older than me and I'm looking up to spiritually, but maybe they're not in town.

And then there's somebody that I've looked up to, like, man, she's a great mom and I'd really like to get some tips from her.

So there are multiple women. It's not like... because I used to feel like this one woman has to encompass everything.

And there's not. There's multiple.

And what would you say to the women that feel like, "I don't have that"? How do I go about that?

Speaker 2

Well, I think you're right. Sometimes it is a composite of many different women. I think too, you can reach outside just three dimensional women if. If need be. I wouldn't say that should be your first.

Speaker 1

Right.

Speaker 2

Go to. But God has placed wonderful women in book form in my life where I needed a specific, some specific help, some spiritual mentoring in a very particular way at a very particular time.

And there just wasn't that in my local circle. I had definitely had women who were praying for me in general capacities and helping in general ways.

But for some very specific points in my life, I have had to look to books or women like you who share their wisdom through this kind of space.

Speaker 1

Yeah. We had a woman, I talked to her at a conference, and she said, "Ann, my mom passed away three years ago, and someone plugged me into Family Life Today. I started listening, and I feel like—she said, I know this sounds super weird to you—I feel like you're kind of that mom figure for me, like you're helping to mentor me in this season of life of little kids and marriage."

And I thought, man, that's amazing. Like, what an incredible gift. But I think there's also something to having, like, that's really important, but also to have a few people near us too.

Speaker 2

Right. Because somebody who is behind a microphone or behind a screen, you might be able to glean wisdom from them, but you can't necessarily dissent. You can't necessarily ask a question, a clarifying question.

They can't necessarily exhort and call out sins and perhaps pivot you in a helpful growth direction. So it's a both. And I think, me too.

Speaker 1

That's good.

Speaker 3

Yeah. And even having them in your home, you know, I'm thinking at our church, we did a series on discipleship called the Color of Your Dishes. My son wrote the series. I'm like, what is this color your dishes idea?

When he came in to pitch a series, he goes, well, when you're in relationship and discipleship, you know the color of the dishes of your mentor. You're in their house. You're not just at a coffee shop or reading their book. You're sitting in their house watching them discipline their kids, watching them roll around in the backyard with their kids on a trampoline.

I'm like, that's good. How do overwhelmed moms do that with other overwhelmed moms? Do you do it?

Speaker 2

Yes. Well, to your point, I often say, those are my bathing suit moms. Like, they've seen me in a bathing suit. That's the kind of relationship that we have. Things are real. Um, yes. In different seasons, it has looked differently. When I had young kids at home, it was play dates. We would get together with other moms, both in my same season, but also moms.

I remember specifically there was a mom in our church that her kids were just a few years older and she had a teenage son. My youngest at the time was still in diapers. I think she graciously invited me. I was a worn out, wrung out mom of, I think at the time, I had four kids. She saw that deer in the headlights, just desperation in my eyes. One day at church, we barely knew each other, but she extended this gracious invitation to come have coffee on her porch, bring the kids.

I know she must have whispered to her son, "She's got a lot of boys, and I want you to be helpful today," because that young man, he was maybe 13 years old, took my sons in a little red wagon all around the property, just entertaining them for a couple of hours so that she and I could just have a lovely conversation. It wasn't necessarily here some wise sage advice; it was just, "I see you."

Years later, God brought that young man, now an adult and married, back into my sons' lives again. He returned to their lives and now he's a mentor, leading them in youth group and discipling them. What a kind gift that was to me—a mom who was just a little bit older, who wasn't just standing in the grocery store aisle saying, "Cherish this time because it'll go by so fast." Of course we want to cherish it. Of course we want to love this time. But I need help right now—practical hands and feet care.

So I would encourage you, if you're on the other end of that spectrum like I am, where I have teens and young adults, I'm still mothering, but my kids still need me. They just need me maybe in less relentless ways. I'm not in the mom-heavy years anymore, but I remember what those years felt like, where I felt like somebody had just put me in a veggie peeler.

Speaker 1

It's a great illustration.

Speaker 2

And so I, I don't do this perfectly, but I am very well aware of those women in our church and try to the best of my ability, provide actual practical help for them.

Speaker 3

Oh, here, here's my question. Actually, not a question. I want you two to talk to the husbands.

Speaker 1

Sure.

Speaker 3

Because I'm hearing that story, I'm like, that's so beautiful what she did. Even her son. And I think a lot of us guys who are. And I'm literally thinking of the husband who's married to a woman in that stage. They're in the, what you call peeler.

Speaker 2

Feel like you're in a veggie peeler.

Speaker 3

You're living in that time, that season of your marriage because, you know, we've all been there, coach up the men. How would we as husbands, what do you need from us? How could we help?

Speaker 2

Well, here's one practical tip.

Speaker 3

What are you laughing about?

Speaker 2

I'm sure you have many.

Speaker 1

No, I'm just laughing because I was resentful, because he wasn't helping.

Speaker 2

Yeah. And then he comes home at the end of a day and unloads his day on us, which is. They're all positive things. But we can easily see and think to ourselves, oh, you got to eat lunch in a break room with people wearing actual pants. And nobody was asking you to cut up their food or zip up their pants because they just came out of the bathroom. You got to eat full meals, not goldfish crackers and a couple bites of PB and J.

You know, then the bitterness and the resentment does creep in. I will say, let me go back to that, mom. First and foremost. And it goes back to narrating a good story. We have to remember. And this might be something you need to write down and see every day.

Your family is not robbing you of purpose.

Speaker 1

And joy.

Speaker 2

And joy. That's right. Your contentment starts and ends with you. And they're not an occupational hazard, your children and your husband. So. So part of it is just a mindset shift for you. But to your point, for the.

Speaker 1

Well, let me add two to that. I think it's really easy because we can become so miserable in our own narrative. Like, my life, my whole life has no meaning anymore.

Speaker 2

Right?

Speaker 1

All I'm doing is wiping noses, wiping butts. And our husband's life looks so attractive if we're married. And it's just. It's resentment.

And so I think even to acknowledge that and to think, where does my life and my joy come from? I was so beat down, I think, and overwhelmed that my walk with God was suffering like I didn't even know.

How do I do this? With littles of having. Like, I used to have these great, long, quiet times. Read my Bible for an hour. Now I can't even. The Bible can't even sit on my lap without somebody scribbling into it.

Speaker 3

Or you go in the bathroom, lock the door so you can have kids.

Speaker 1

Who knows what that. And so I think that resentment can really creep in.

And then I can look at Dave as my husband, as being the problem. And it's not him. It's not my life that has trapped me.

These are these exactly what you're saying, these gifts that God's given me.

And our full satisfaction can only come from him.

Speaker 2

That's right.

Speaker 1

Okay, what were you gonna say?

Speaker 2

And there will be times in our faith walk, whether we have kids or not, where there will be snacking seasons and feasting seasons.

Speaker 1

Oh, that's good. What's that?

Speaker 2

When you have a lot of littles, you snatch the Word in, in the nooks and crannies of your day and you might only be able to read a verse here or there.

But man or play the verse. Listen to it. Yes, listen to it. I wrote out scripture on cards and plastered every available space with it because I couldn't just sit with my Bible open for hours on end.

But I could put the word ever before me.

Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 2

So that it was my first. It had the first and last word on the chaos of my day.

So I'm now in a season where it is more feasting. But I never want to forget the good of the snacking season and what you do where God met me right there in the dust.

Isn't he just like that? When you look in scripture and you see Jesus, he was meeting people right alongside the way, right where they were—at the well, casting nets over the side of a boat. He was meeting them right there in their present moment.

And he did that for me in those early years, and I hope that I can encourage other young moms that he will do that for them too.

Speaker 3

I'll tell you what, if there was one thing that brought us together when our kids were teenagers, it was prayer. What parent doesn't need God to help them raise teenagers?

Speaker 1

We want to help you if you're going through great things with your teens and hard things with your teens.

Speaker 3

So we've got a prayer guide to help you pray for your teens. You can go to familylife.com prayforteens and download the prayer guide.

Speaker 1

It's a free download too.

Speaker 3

Familylife.comprayforteens.

Speaker 2

But to your point, back to.

Speaker 3

The cousins, we gotta scroll them back to the school, we gotta get them in.

Speaker 2

One thing that I, and I credit this to my husband, we did have a conversation about it. But one thing that I really appreciated him doing is when he got off work every day he had about a 15-minute drive to just cast off the burdens of that, of what he just did at work and reset and reframe his mind for re-entry into our home. I didn't have that luxury because my work, home, and play spaces were all souped together, and it never ended. Yeah, never ending.

So he was really conscious in those early years of coming in the door, sloughing off his briefcase to the side and gathering. At the time we had a bunch of boys, still do, but they were very little. He'd gather them all in the living room, and they would just start wrestling. They would wrestle for about 15 minutes, and it got to the point where, you know, they got so hot and sweaty that they were peeling off clothes. Eventually, it was just one big pile of underpants in the middle of the living room floor going out.

Speaker 1

How many boys do you have?

Speaker 2

I have four boys. The oldest is a girl. So.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 2

So he would give at least 15, 20 minutes of undivided attention to the kids, which only benefited them because, of course, he was the anomaly, the new fun thing in the room. So they wanted to be with him, but it allowed me to just, you know, go in the kitchen and sip some tea for a minute, maybe brush my hair, throw on a little lip gloss so I could feel like a person again.

And so that was like my drive home reboot that I needed so that I could shift from, you know, being the enforcer with all my kids to being a wife that, like, loved him and was excited to see him and could find joy again.

Speaker 1

Dave did that same thing. We have three sons, and I can remember when he shifted that as well. Like, he came in and he was so fun. You know what I did? I went and worked out. Not when they were super little, but when they were old enough that Dave could wrestle with them and play with them. I just thought, I need this for my sanity. It's part of who I am.

I got a good workout in, and I would come home and they would be a sweaty mess. Like, so sweaty, so tired. Their faces would be beet red. And Dave still does it with our grandsons.

I'll tell our sons, and they, we have four grandsons. Like, the boys need a sweat, a good sweat every day. What do girls need from dad?

Speaker 2

Yeah, Just undivided attention, a listening ear, and physical affection in appropriate ways. I shouldn't say. Just. That's probably the top of the list.

Speaker 1

That's so good.

Speaker 3

Yeah. And I would just say, you know, if you're a husband listening and a dad, you know, because I didn't do that initially. When we first had kids, I would be driving home and I had to make the shift your husband made, but I hadn't gotten there yet. I felt like when I walked in the door, I had a hard day. You don't understand what I've been doing all day. Of course I don't understand what she's been doing. But I was so selfish. I was like, give me a break, rather than throw me a baby.

I had to make a shift. Like, guess what my most important job is when I walk in that door, just like your husband does. On the drive home, I had to shift the narrative. Okay, yeah, I had a hard day. I bet you hers was harder. But even if it wasn't, it doesn't matter. I am called to disciple this family. It's more important than the job I just left, and I'm a minister, so, you know, those people matter, but they don't matter as much as these people.

And you have to make that shift. That sounds like your husband did. And that's what your wife is longing for. Come in and be my partner. Right.

Speaker 2

And I think if we're both considering the interest of others, as scripture says, all of that will get done and it won't be a. Well, you did that this, but I did that. You had this day, but let me tell you about the day I had.

Speaker 1

Oh, I did that. You know, like, you're compare.

Speaker 3

Whose day was that?

Speaker 1

I would say what you had meant mentioned earlier. Like, you ate lunch with a friend.

Speaker 2

Right.

Speaker 1

Like, what was that like?

Speaker 2

Or even just in quiet.

Speaker 3

Then you're, like, lying like, oh, no, no, I didn't really.

Speaker 1

You went to the bathroom by yourself.

Speaker 2

Without little hands sticking underneath.

Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 2

Calling for your attention.

Speaker 1

Talk about. Because I thought this was funny, your little Pinterest time in 2010 when you got on Pinterest and you were like, I'm going to do this.

Speaker 2

Yeah. Well, Pinterest was launched in 2010. Some may not remember it because it was a subtle launch, very simple. It wasn't advertised. It was just like boots on the ground, grassroots advertising.

But those of us who did latch onto it, we reached for just the sinful superlatives that Eve reached for. You know, like, God gave her what is good, but she wanted better and best. So every single title, the clickbait titles of like, five of the best fall soups, you know, you can make eight perfect spiralized zucchini spaghetti recipes. And here they all are.

We wanted to reach for all of them. And we weren't necessarily wanting to be the best at everything, but we wanted to do what we were doing with excellence. And I hopped on that train full force.

Speaker 1

So how old were your kids then?

Speaker 2

I think 2010. At that point. I had four under five. Yeah, four under five. That is not the time to start.

Speaker 1

This is a great diversion, though.

Speaker 2

Yes.

Speaker 1

With kids those age, you're looking like, I need a little something.

Speaker 2

Right. And I think there is something to that.

I think there is something to continuing education as a mom and continuing to either increase in a skill that you already have learned or learn a new skill that will kind of help alleviate some of the overwhelm that you're feeling when you feel like, I can't do.

Speaker 1

This little pick me up.

Speaker 2

Right, Exactly. And so I, I reach for all the things though. All of the things. And I think that's when we're talking about overwhelm for a mom. I think there's three reasons why we are overwhelmed. And that comparison when we look at other women and all those women on Pinterest who are adding to their boards of I'm doing this, I'm doing that, you should be too. And we hear this chorus of bossy online voices telling us what we should and and would be doing. We keep adding to our plate of things that maybe are not ours to do. And so I was getting some of my overwhelm was self inflicted. You know, I did the, the Amish Friendship bread. I started making quilts. I started gardening. I have no green parts in my body. I am the last person who should be gardening. And yet I had somehow convinced myself that I was going to be not just a gardener, a full farmer, and grow all my own organic food.

Speaker 1

We're having a garden.

Speaker 2

That's right.

Speaker 1

We're going to do a garden. And kids can learn from this.

Speaker 2

I'm going to make everything from scratch. And yeah, I fell for all the clickbait titles and boy, was I overwhelmed.

Speaker 1

You just have to share. Like even your quilting thing.

Speaker 2

Yeah. So I, I learned how to quilt. I actually did have a lovely woman my same age knew how to quilt. And I looked to her and her beautiful quilts and thought, well, that's what I should be doing too. So she taught me how to. But then I, I looked on Pinterest and found patterns and I was so naive. I picked out colors that I liked which were red and green. If you put those two colors together on a quilt, you have a Christmas quilt that can only be used at Christmas. So I do have one lovely quilt I made all the way through. I have many way to go. I've been many started, not done quilts. I have way too many embarrassing amounts of those. But I did finish one and it was relegated to the Christmas box because of my red and green.

Speaker 1

But as a result of that, and it's, I think even more so now because there are so many platforms that we can jump on so much comparison. How do we navigate that? Like, how are these women, these young women? I'm thinking of, even when I would nurse our babies, I would just pray in the middle of the night. Now it's so easy. Like you're nursing your Baby, you're just scrolling on your phone.

Speaker 2

Right.

Speaker 1

So how do we not become overwhelmed? And how do we distinguish what's good and what's not?

Speaker 2

Well, I think you're right. You know, statistics tell us that women especially spend over four hours on their phones doing, you know, social media, various things, email, whatever, daily, every day. So when you add that up, that's over 24 hours.

Speaker 1

I mean, I do that. I'm listening to stuff. I bet I have that.

Speaker 2

Yeah. And so when you, when those voices that you're letting in in social media, on Pinterest, in emails, wherever you get your content and your media, when you allow those voices to have a bigger volume in your life than, let's say, the still small voice of God, and you're reaching for better and best and adding more and more to your plate and you feel this overwhelmed because now you're, you're not. Here's the thing about social media. I'm just going to interrupt my own thought. When you see a woman and, and I'm, and I. Most of my ministry is done online, so I have seen the underbelly.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Of social media. I can tell you when you're looking at a social media post by a woman, you see what she is doing, you don't see what she's not doing.

Speaker 1

Or who she's becoming.

Speaker 2

That's very true. Yes. I look at social media posts and see what all these women are doing and what happens in, at least in my brain. And I don't think I'm the anomaly. I think this is pretty part and parcel for being a woman. We see what Susie is doing and Beth is doing and Sarah is doing and we make this like super mom. We lump all these women together in our brain and we think it's one woman doing all of those things. And she's not only doing all of those things, she's also doing all the things we're doing.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

And how is it possible?

Speaker 1

And she's beautiful.

Speaker 2

Oh, yeah. Very put together.

Speaker 1

Oh, incredible.

Speaker 2

Has a wonderful relationship with her husband 24 hours a day. Her children are very obedient. They're reading to blind orphans, they're rescuing trapped kittens from trees while our kid is like guzzling down the milk in the open jug. In the jug, yeah. Comparison will always lead us to defeat.

Speaker 1

How do we navigate that? Like, have you shut some of that stuff out and down?

Speaker 2

Absolutely. I take social media sabbaticals for myself, for my own mental space, my own spiritual space and just say, you know, and it's not enough. I don't think of just shutting it down. You can't just remove something because then you've left a vacuum for something else equally as harmful to fill. You have to turn and pivot and listen to the voice that matters most. So during those social media sabbaticals, it's not like I just turn off social media. It's. I'm gonna use this time in very proactive ways by feasting on God's word and filling my mind with what is good and true and rich about him.

Speaker 1

I mean, when our kids were little, we didn't have all the social media, but it's still easy to be. To have to fix on something. Like, for me, it could be working out. So I go to the gym, I'm with all these other women, and you can put so much energy into even the outside appearance. And I remember praying and looking in the mirror one morning and thought, what would my soul look like based on what I'm feeding it? Because we're always taking care of the outside, and we're looking at the outside. But what if our outside was reflect. Our inside was reflected outside. We put so much more energy into creating, like, this healthy soul and spiritual walk. And I think what I did one time is I realized, like, I can get my workout in before my time with God in. And I had that conviction of, like, I'll go a day without being in the word, but I won't go a day without working out. And I felt like that's an idol. And so I decided, like, I'm not gonna work out until I'm first feeding on God's word and spend some time with him. And it was a sacrifice. It was hard. It was really hard. I maybe thinking what we do with social media, the first thing we do is pick up our phone and look at it. What would it look like if we, you know, planted some scripture in our minds first? It changes us from the inside out.

Speaker 3

Yeah. I just looked up. Look at this woman, this mom, sitting on her couch, reading a book. And that look like a good. Oh, that's. That's Jamie. And you're right. You look at that and you're like, you don't see what she's not.

Speaker 1

You don't have to clean.

Speaker 2

See what she's doing, not what she's not doing. Yeah.

Speaker 3

You said there are three reasons moms are overwhelmed.

Speaker 2

Yeah. I think they're universal and timeless. I think you can trace it all the way back to the garden. And I think because we don't distinguish and recognize that there's three different types of overwhelm. We want to treat all our overwhelm the same, and it's not the same, so it can't have the same prescription for whatever is ailing us. I think first and foremost, some of our overwhelm. Now this might sting a little bit.

Speaker 1

Go ahead.

Speaker 2

But hopefully it's some truth that we all need to hear at times, myself included. I think sometimes our overwhelm is just the daily work a day things that we as moms have to do. And we haven't put enough. Enough forethought to putting those things on. I don't want to say autopilot, but in some ways creating rhythms and routines that help us get those practical, mundane things done efficiently and in the right order. So some of our overwhelm is just the work a day. You know, you can't escape it. You still have to put three meals on the table. You still have to fill out the forms for the field trip. You still have to get your kids to school and back again. These are all routine parts of your day. And because the. Perhaps maybe we're being lazy or maybe we're not being steadfast and faithful in those things, they spill over and then avalanche, out of control. So that's part. That's one part of overwhelm, just the workaday bits of our lives.

Speaker 3

And are you saying that some of those you could get a handle on by, like one of your stories is getting the time every day to get your kids to take a break so you could get an hour.

Speaker 2

That's right, yes. Actually, those are the parts that we actually can have some handholds in place to help us with. There are other parts of overwhelm, and I'll get to that, that are out of your control. But most of those, like boots on the ground, everyday work a day. Parts of your lives actually are within somewhat of your control to organize and tamp down the chaos. And if you do that, if you just, you know, it's. It's like an archer who shoots off an arrow. An archer doesn't have to make huge adjustments to make a big impact on where his arrow lands. Just a small tweak, one tiny little notch to the left or the right can make a huge impact, huge change to where his. His arrow hits. And it's the same way with the. With our lives. If we can make some small tweaks on those mundane parts of our lives. And I don't even say small tweaks, let's make it Just singular. If you can make one small tweak to one mundane part of your life and put that in more order, that will alleviate some of your time, energy, and stress to then put to another small thing. And in that way, you're sort of avalanching and clearing out some of that daily chaos that just starts to weigh you down.

Speaker 1

You gave the example of laundry. Doing laundry like that, having three boys, all in sports. I felt so overwhelmed by that. If I'd get behind on it. And now I've got this mountain of laundry, and I'm like, I can't. I want to just run away and run. Run away from the laundry pile. And one of the little tweaks that I made was, I'm just going to do laundry every day. I'm gonna do laundry every day. I'm gonna fold it as it comes out and it's done. And that was like. That saved so much of emotional tension in me. And was it a pain to do it every day? Not once I got into the rhythm of it. It just became one of those things you do every day. What are some of the things that you did?

Speaker 2

Well, science shows us that about 40 to 60% of our day is on autopilot. The difference between an overwhelmed mom and a mom who's just living her life.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Smoothly. Is that she has been intentional to put some rhythms in place for those 40 to 60%. Your life is going to be on autopilot regardless.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

But you can have some intentionality to it to point it in the right direction. So to your question, some of the things that I've done. One, pay it forward to yourself by getting prepared for tomorrow, the night before.

Speaker 1

You know, and if you're not a planner. We know. Like, that is really hard, but it's doable. I'm not a big planner, but I had to do it. How did you do that?

Speaker 2

Well, I always look over my schedule the night before and kind of determine what the next day will hold. And if there is anything in particular, in practical ways, I can pay it forward to myself to set aside. Maybe it's the clothes I'm wearing. If I'm going to a particular place. Maybe it's, I'm gonna pack our L the night before because I know the morning time will be a bit of a scramble or I'm at least going to set out things. It's something as simple as just getting to bed at a decent time and not using the excuse of I'm a night person. I might very well be a night person. But my morning is still going to happen, so I might need to get to bed so that I can start fresh, resetting my spaces at the end of the day so that I can come downstairs in the morning and not feel like I have to tackle yesterday's task desks this morning. So that means doing the dishes. You know, I never leave dirty dishes in the sink. I have teenagers now and they stay up past me, so sometimes there are dirty dishes in the sink. But I don't take any credit for that. You know, resetting the living room, all the communal spaces so I don't have to wake up growling or feeling bitter and bruised. So that's one easy, easy tip is just pay it forward to yourself.

Speaker 1

And I think even to looking at your schedule like, you know this, there's a lot of times that we, it's easy just to veg out on a great Netflix, you know, series. Not that that's wrong. Or we just scroll for hours and hours. You can, you can like lose hours doing that. I think when I can do some things, it's an escape like I don't want to face tomorrow or face what I need to do. How would you encourage those women?

Speaker 2

Because, well, I'll ask you a question. When you do scroll and you do veg out and sort of escape by scrolling or whatever it is, fill in the blank. Whatever your escape happens to be, what happens to the overwhelming tasks?

Speaker 1

It's way worse.

Speaker 2

Right, right.

Speaker 1

And so you're kicking yourself and now you've got a dialogue like you're horrible. You know, look at what a waste of time that was. But it's that getting into the.

Speaker 3

It's not a filling.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, it's not a filling.

Speaker 2

So in regards to a phone, I always encourage moms to analog their lives as much as possible. Yes, I can have an app that I put recipes on. Yes, I can have my schedule on my phone. And there is some definite convenience to that. But whenever possible, go back to the old fashioned pen and paper method because you might, you know, click on your Pinterest app to find that one recipe that you were hoping to make dinner tonight. But then you see the dress that you need to order for a bridal shower. And then you see a lovely playscape that you wanna redo your kids play bedroom. And before you know it, you've squandered at least a half hour because that time goes by much faster than you think it does. And then you've eaten a whole half hour chunk of your day just finding that one recipe. So instead of reaching for the phone and putting your whole life on the phone whenever possible. And I know it kind of makes me feel like the, you know, old lady in the room when I take out all my paper planners and, and I have my old timey recipe book. That's okay because it's giving me back the life that I actually want.

Speaker 1

That's good.

Speaker 3

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Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 3

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Speaker 1

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Speaker 3

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Speaker 2

I want to get back to the other types of overwhelm, if we could. So the first one, like I said, is like, when you're not tackling the daily overwhelming parts that are just part and parcel of being a mom. Right. The second type of overwhelm is the overwhelm that we get when we take on other people's things, take on other people's roles and jobs. And that often happens when we're scrolling social media and like you said, we see what all these women are doing and we think we have to do it too. So now we're adding and adding and adding things to our plate that were never meant to be ours to begin with. No wonder we're so overwhelmed. That year in 2010, when I wanted to do all the things because Pinterest was so luring and captivating, I was very overwhelmed. But it was kind of self inflicted because I kept adding to my plate. And then the third type of overwhelm is the type that is out of your control. And I want to be very sensitive to a mom who's listening, who has maybe a child who has a debilitating disease or is, you know, severe health problems, the wife whose husband just lost his job, the. The woman who's taking care of aging parents. None of those things are because of something she did. The overwhelm that she's experiencing is not really in her control. And that type of overwhelm is the kind where you need to just open your clenched fists that you've held so tightly to the Lord and release it to him, knowing that in his kindness, his care and his compassion, he will not let you be consumed. So those three different Types of overwhelm have to be handled differently. And really only two of them are in our control.

Speaker 1

Let me ask you, you've had an incident when one of your kids was 12.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Talk about overwhelm and out of your control. Can you tell us about it?

Speaker 2

Yeah. When my daughter was 12, she, for a while, she was having a racing heartbeat. And this heartbeat would happen at random periods. She could be exercising or she could be lounging, reading a book. It would just, you know, come on her, and her heart would start racing. One night she was at a youth group activity, and I got a call from a youth worker and she was having a heart attack and was rushed to the emergency room. Was life flighted to another large children's hospital two hours away. Thank the Lord that they let me ride in the helicopter, which is not the norm. But, yeah, she had a heart attack. And then for about a year and a half after that, our lives were filled with, you know, trips down to that cardiac ICU unit for doctor's visits and an eventual surgery. And that was a very overwhelming season.

Speaker 1

Especially with your other kids, too. Right.

Speaker 2

But it was just a season. And I think sometimes as moms, we can think, well, I have an overwhelming life. I am the overwhelmed mom. As if that's the collective noun that.

Speaker 1

You are in your identity now.

Speaker 2

Right. And will forever be. It's not your identity. You're just in an overwhelming season. It might be acute and last for just a short time. It might last longer. Like in the case of my daughter's heart attack, that really did take over a year and a half of our lives, but God brought us through.

Speaker 3

I mean, were there times during that year and a half you felt overwhelmed? Like. Well, I don't feel like a season of, I don't know that you can't.

Speaker 1

Go back to the helicopter. Like, here's your little girl, your oldest, And I'm imagining like, they got her worked up.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah. The doctors. I was. My husband made it to the ER first, and then I had to wait for a friend to come stay with our other for kids so that I could get to the er. And I remember. I remember being in the car, getting a text. I was in the passenger seat. Someone was driving me to the hospital because, again, we only had one car. And I remember getting a text from my husband saying, where are you? You have to be here right now. I didn't know at the time she had a heart attack. I just knew they were taking her to the er. The stomach flu had been going around our Town in great dramatic ways. I thought she was just very sick from the stomach flu. And so I'm like, what? What is all the drama? I'm getting there. You know, I'll be there in a second. I walk in and I see my daughter strapped to a gurney with all kinds of medical personnel. They had to use a defibrillator. And my husband said, I'm so glad that in God's just tender care and kindness for you, you were not here. Because her body flew up off of the table and she was completely coherent, so she, you know, had to go through that. And then on top of that, it was a year and a half, not just of these medical appointments, but she went through deep fear for her life for three months, six months after that, and was afraid to go to sleep because she didn't know if she would wake up. So then it was walking my daughter through, trusting the Holy Spirit with not just her eternal life, but her right now, this day life.

Speaker 1

But, Jamie, how did you do that as a mom? Like, you're just living one of the greatest fears a mom can even think of. How were you not just overwhelmed and totally, like, I don't even know what the word would be that you can't even do this.

Speaker 2

I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't feel I was overwhelmed. And that was ever present, of course. But I had a history with a God who came through. I could look back on many overwhelming, outside of my control, circumstances in my life that he was right there and he saw me through. And it was in those, like, Joshua four stones that I had stacked up. I could look back and remember he was true and faithful then. He will be true and faithful now. I had to do some auditing of our lives and let go of some things that were really important two days before. And suddenly, you know, the. The cream really does rise to the top. You realize what actually is important in your life, and you begin to say no so much more willingly when you have to. So I had to audit my life and. And kind of tear my schedule down to the studs and rebuild it with what mattered. And now on the other side of that, that's another Joshua four stone that I have. And not only that, she has, too. And she saw how God stepped into the fiery furnace with her.

Speaker 1

How is she?

Speaker 2

She's wonderful. She had a heart surgery and is now, you know, living a healthy life. Never has any residual effects from that.

Speaker 3

Is she the one in college?

Speaker 2

Yes, she's in college.

Speaker 3

She's studying Forensic something, right?

Speaker 2

Forensic. She wants to be in a forensic interviewer. And. And let me tell you, I think that God has used that part of her life. When she was in the hospital for a few days, she was in the pediatric cardiac icu. Talk about a mouthful. And she was the oldest child on the floor. Most of the kids in that entire wing were under two and had never seen the light of day outside of a hospital in their entire two years of living. And she said, mom, I was inundated with gifts and prizes and toys of all kinds. They had a woman at the hospital whose sole job was fun maker, wanted to play a game. If they didn't have it, she'd go out and buy it and bring it in for you. Her whole purpose was just to make the kids enjoy this time in the hospital. And so when she got out of the hospital and she carted all her toys and trinkets that she got from various nonprofit organizations home, she said, this is wonderful, but I have a bedroom full of toys already. And she began thinking about kids in other countries and in the foster care system that didn't have that luxury. And she spent that year collecting items, toys, school supplies, to be able to donate to CURE International so that doctors who were going to third world countries performing surgeries on kids who had nothing but the shirts on their back could come and have the surgery and then be given a stuffed animal, some school supplies, something. And I am a firm believer that God will never give us a message to deliver that he does not also want us to walk through. And that was the message he wanted her to deliver. And she has spent the rest of her life wanting so deeply to care for children in difficult circumstances. So she's going to school right now to be a forensic interviewer, which is a counselor who interviews kids who've experienced the worst traumas imaginable, and then they go and speak for them on their behalf in the court system.

Speaker 1

Oh, it's that old Swindon quote, that God, if we trust God, he will never allow our pain to be in vain.

Speaker 2

Right?

Speaker 1

He's using every piece of that.

Speaker 2

Your pain becomes your purpose, and it also becomes your authority. Like, she can speak to things that even you and I maybe haven't. Aren't allowed to speak to a fear like she. She went to bed every night for a year and a half thinking, I don't know if I'm gonna wake up. And that is a debilitating fear for anybody, but especially when you're 12 years old. And so she can. Can speak to People's pain in ways that probably I will never be afforded that.

Speaker 1

What would you say to the mom who's in something like that right now, whether they've been spending years at a hospital, like, as you said, you know, in the cardiac hospital, or with some other tragedy that they are just, like, so overwhelmed? What would you say to that listener right now?

Speaker 2

Mostly that I see you. And that is something that women need to hear. Because I cannot not solve all of your problems. I can't erase the pain, the. The brokenness that you feel right now. I might be able to give you some helpful tools. I might, if I know you personally, be able to give you a few practical things that will help. But most women just want to know that they're seen, that their pain points are acknowledged and. And I would definitely pray for and with her.

Speaker 1

And that Jesus sees her.

Speaker 2

That's right.

Speaker 1

And is with her.

Speaker 2

He is El Roy, the God who sees. And that really does matter in your deep grief and deep pain. I remember when my sister passed away and I had just launched my second book, and I was in the middle of public speaking tours and publicity campaigns and had a microphone in my face at every moment, all the while, you know, sucking in the tears that were just threatening to fall. And all I could do was repeat the verse. We don't know what to do, Lord, but our eyes are on you. And I had that verse on permanent repeat because I didn't know what to do. It was one of those seasons of overwhelm that was outside of my control. I couldn't cure cancer, and so I had to say goodbye to a dear sister and what felt like a mother to me. But God was still there. And I, you know, revelation says that we'll defeat Satan by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. The blood of the lamb was Christ's part. The testimony part is our part. And so I can hopefully encourage and help equip another mom by sharing my story and say, see the goodness and the delight of God and how he walked me through this. He wants to do that for you, too.

Speaker 1

I love that you get super practical. Like, one chapter is called Just Start.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

So how would you encourage, like, if somebody's like, yeah, yeah, I'm resonating with this.

Speaker 2

How.

Speaker 1

How do we just start?

Speaker 2

Yeah, we get overwhelmed by not even knowing where or how to start. In this big thing, we see the big, huge pile of papers on our kitchen counter, all the field trip forms and the school forms and the insurance.

Speaker 1

Forms, and you have a Lot of forms, don't you?

Speaker 2

Yes. There's so many kids come with so many forms, and we can just see this big pile and think, well, I'm gonna need a whole bulldozer just to shovel my way out. Since I can't do it all, I'm not just. I'm just not gonna do any of it. But you eat an elephant one bite at a time, so you just have to start. And part of that is knowing a good order of operations for whatever kind of task you're trying to tackle. I think is another thing that women struggle with. They just see this big, mountainous task ahead and don't know how best to tackle it. And they're usually with those practical pieces of overwhelm. In our life, there really is a better order. I won't say a right order or the best order, but there often is a better order of tackling a task. And. And some of that is just learning the better order. And, you know, you talked about laundry. Laundry was always point of contention in my house. I have four teenage boys that do sports, and let me tell you, nothing will sting your eyes quite like the palpable smell of baseball cleats. And when you have an entire closet full of them, laundry becomes so overwhelming to most moms, especially if you have many. And it was very overwhelming to me. There were other parts of my life that were overwhelming that I just. Just couldn't tackle or maybe didn't want to tackle. But laundry was right in front of me. It was something I had to do every day. So I just determined, I'm clearly not doing this right. I'm just doing it the way that I was always taught to do it. You know, you throw the laundry in, you pour some soap, you turn, you know, beep, boop, boop, a couple buttons, and you let it go and let the water do the work. And that was my lather, rinse, repeat every day. And I was still overwhelmed. The laundry was still not getting done. So I just decided I'm going to. To read a book about doing laundry and pick up some helpful tools. Now, let me tell you, it does sound very boring. To read a book about laundry sounds really boring. It was riveting.

Speaker 3

I didn't know they were quite a.

Speaker 2

Page turner, let me tell you. But at the end of that book, I had some very practical helps for doing my laundry that have now saved me money, saved me time. My laundry is actually getting done. And one of the biggest practical tips for was, Jamie, you don't always have to do the laundry. You have five other people that currently live in your house that are fully capable of doing laundry. So set a routine schedule for them to be able to do their own laundry. Teach them how to do it, inspect what you expect, and then release them to do it. And that's one less thing I have to do.

Speaker 1

That's good.

Speaker 3

So your kids do their laundry.

Speaker 2

They actually, I do no laundry anymore. I do do some folding. I fold my, my clothes and my husband's clothes, but I have outsourced. And that's another key to like overcoming your overwhelm is to determine what you can delegate, what you will have to dismiss, and what is yours to do. And in that case, laundry was certainly something I could delegate. My kids were fully capable. And actually in handing over that job to them and saying, I trust you to do this, well, you are capable. It helps them to step into that capability and gives them autonomy and independence. And the more they can step into autonomy and independence, the less I have to do for them because they are fully able to do for themselves. And you're equipping them for life. That's right. And freeing up a little bit of my overwhelm.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but aren't there some moms that just feel like, this is my job, I should do this? I'm not. That's, you know, my husband shouldn't do it, my kids shouldn't do it. That's what I should do. What do you say to them?

Speaker 2

Two things. One, you're crazy.

Speaker 1

Well, yes.

Speaker 2

Some of your overwhelm then is self inflicted. I believe fully. It's a mom's job in some ways to be the overseer of that. As the keeper of the home, is it her job to necessarily put boots on the ground and do it for a time, perhaps when her kids are little? But also as a mom, I should be working my way out of a job. That's a kindness I can give to my kids that they can step into adulthood with this skill fully formed. And you're actually kind of robbing your kids a chance to step into autonomy. When you do everything for them, it's actually not loving. One could even argue it's hateful when you do everything for your kids.

Speaker 1

Let me ask you this. We started out with you taking 10 to 15 seconds of what is overwhelming and what goes through the mind of a mom that creates that overwhelming or even anxiety. If you had to take 10 seconds and reverse that of kind of the power of the words that you're thinking about who God is and replacing the overwhelm with God. I bet you've done that of recalling God's faithfulness. Could you do that? Like seeing the positive instead of the overwhelming. Not negative, but just the overwhelming life that you're living. What are some of the things you would say to yourself that are true about new narrative?

Speaker 2

Yeah, you know, I have a pile of dishes in the sink. That is true practically. But it means that I have people that I love that are living here. You know, Proverbs says, you know, one day the stall will be clean, but it'll also be empty. I have a dirty stall all the livelong day it feels like. But I have a full stall. Yes, I have piles of laundry and it feels like, you know, Mount Never Rest that I have to climb every single day. But it's God has provided clothes for us to wear. I have a never ending job that, you know, the type of work I do is really never ending. I could keep chipping away at it every second of the day if I chose to do so. But I also have a job up that provides practically financially for my family and helps me use some of the gifts that God has given me in creative ways. I can't be creator, but I can be creative. And he's allowed me to step into that work with him by providing this job that I have. So again, it's just flipping that script.

Speaker 1

That's good. That's really good. And you have a husband.

Speaker 2

That's right.

Speaker 1

You know, we could go on and on.

Speaker 3

Who's amazing? Who's amazing?

Speaker 2

Yes. What an honor and joy. You know, I posted something on social media. Since we're talking about social media, I posted something on social media.

Speaker 3

Let's see, I'll look it up.

Speaker 2

Well, you can find it. It was a screenshot from a text I sent my son. My son is currently serving in the armed forces. And he sent me a message.

Speaker 1

Talk about overwhelming.

Speaker 2

There's definitely some gripping fear that can completely take over my life if I'm not careful to give that fear and put it in the right direction to give that fear to God. But he knew my book was coming out and he sent me a video message recently. And he said, mom, I know that writing books was something you've wanted to do your whole life, and I know that you had to put that dream on hold so that you can help us follow and pursue our dreams. But I'm so glad you stuck with it and I'm so glad you got to do it, you know, and you were faithful to see it through. And yes, he was Telling the truth. I did want to write books ever since I was 8 years old. And, yes, I did have to set that dream aside and live in the season that God has put in in front of me. But that wasn't the full truth, because my biggest dream is just to be a loving wife to my husband and a mother to my five kids. What a joy that has brought to me. And they are everything I never knew I always wanted and needed in my life. I didn't know that I at the time, when I was 8 years old. So I. I told him this in a text. And I had so many women come back and. And say. Because I shared that little brief. With his permission, that little brief snippet of conversation on social media, and I had so many women come back and say, I'm so glad you mentioned your husband in that lineup, because so often moms are quick to say, oh, my children are my. My biggest joy, my greatest blessing. And we always put our delight in them. I had him first. He's my joy.

Speaker 1

It's really good. And you said that when you first came in to the studio, like, I have a great husband.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

How many years have you been married?

Speaker 2

23 years. 23 blissful years. It still feels like. I know it's cheesy to say, and he will agree with me. We still feel like we're in the honeymoon season.

Speaker 1

That's so sweet.

Speaker 2

But it's not easy. It takes work as anything good and rewarding, anything that matters.

Speaker 1

Are we having that element, the blissful season?

Speaker 3

Definitely. You don't think that if she doesn't think that, it's my fault?

Speaker 1

No, I do think that, but we went through some seasons that were anything but blissful, believe me. And that's why we're doing what we do to help marriages, to help people understand, like, oh, God has so much more than just your happiness.

Speaker 2

That's right.

Speaker 1

He shapes us through our marriages. But, man, if we're not intentional, that can be incredibly overwhelming.

Speaker 2

And it's not like the last 23 years have been, you know, sunshine, rainbows.

Speaker 1

And yogurts have been through some hard stuff.

Speaker 2

But at the end of the day, anything worth doing is gonna have both struggles and strengths. And you just have to press into both the struggles and the strengths.

Speaker 3

Good stuff. And I would just say to our viewers, if you want to get the overwhelmed mom, because you are an overwhelmed mom, or, you know, an overwhelmed Mom. Mom. FamilyLife today.com Go to the Show Notes. There's a link there. Buy the book, buy the book for you and a whole bunch of other moms.

Speaker 1

It'd be really good to do this book as a group of women. Yeah, I like that idea. Thanks, Jamie.

Speaker 2

Thank you so much for having me. It's been a joy.

Speaker 1

Hey, thanks for watching. And if you like this episode, you better like it. Just hit that like button, and we'd.

Speaker 3

Like you to subscribe. So all you got to do is go down and hit the subscribe. I can't say the word subscribe. Hit the subscribe button. I don't think I can say this.

Speaker 1

Word like and subscribe.

Speaker 3

Look at that. You say it so easy. Subscribe. There he goes.