FamilyLife Today®

Speaker 1

Please hear me. The diligence that you have right now for your kids and every day, that daily faithfulness, that it's another day, another day, another day. Please know it matters. It matters. Right now.

Speaker 2

I'm seeing something going on in the culture that is surprising to me.

Speaker 3

I have no idea what she's going to say.

Speaker 1

Ok. That's surprising to me.

Speaker 3

I have no idea.

Speaker 2

More kids estrange from their parents more than ever before. They put these boundaries up like, "I'm not talking to you. You've hurt me. Things have been bad. I didn't like the way you raised me."

As a result, there's this gap, I feel like, in our society. People come to me all the time, and they're parents that are crying, saying, "My kids won't talk to me."

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Sherry, I'm really glad that you're here. Sherry Lynn's back with us today because you are addressing this and I think you're getting into some of these things. So how are you seeing that same thing?

Speaker 1

It has been astounding to me.

Speaker 2

You've seen it, too?

Speaker 1

I have seen it and I haven't been able to understand it. It's not to say that. It's that I don't know that things happen.

But the schism when we talk about loneliness, yes, there's loneliness, friends and not having, you know, those types of relationships. But when you break off completely from the connection of where you came from, then you just kind of float in the world and not tethered to anything. And that has to be difficult.

I just saw so many books, so many articles about that, and I was like, man, that boy, that would leave you alone in the world. I understand why there's an epidemic of.

Speaker 2

But these people say to me, you don't know my mom and you don't know what she did or didn't do. What do you say when people say that to you?

Speaker 1

That's true. I don't. And that's one of the reasons why I wrote the book: because I did hear stories of really hard things that people went through with their mom. I thought, you know what? But I get to tell the story that I have. And the story that I have is this. This lady was. This lady is great.

And she would say, this lady being your mom, being Ms. Bev. Yeah. She would say she made so many mistakes. When I let her read the book about her, she was like, "Girl, how do you remember all that?" I don't. She didn't see any of the good things; she just saw the mistakes.

I host a podcast where I interview a lot of young moms, and it was like a little roundtable. I was just taken by how many of them think they're making mistakes. How many of them think, "I'm not getting any of this right."

Speaker 2

I'm failing my children. They're gonna hate me. I have failed miserably. That's what we think.

Speaker 1

It's the hardest job in the world. And I had someone write into the.

Speaker 3

Podcast and say, hey, there's a dad here. Oh, you know, dad's jobs are pretty hard, too.

Speaker 1

That's a hard job.

Speaker 3

Not as hard. Not as hard.

Speaker 1

No, no, no. Sort of like labor. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3

I know all about labor. What do you guys want to know about labor? Yeah, please, just ask me.

Speaker 1

Tell us what's.

Speaker 3

It's really not that big a deal. I don't know why you keep asking like this. All right, I got you.

Speaker 1

Power through.

Speaker 3

You are on a deep thread there. I don't know where.

Speaker 1

I think that there are. People have gone through hard things. I don't diminish that in any way, shape, or form. I just know that this is a very, very hard thing, and I have grace for watching someone do it.

Someone wrote into me and said their favorite part of the podcast was listening to me not being a mom and being amazed by every single thing they do. Like, what? What? What? Because it's so hard.

And no one. My mom would say, no one gave her Emanuel. We had a great. I have a great grandmother. My grandmother was wonderful, her mother. But no one says, here's how you do it. And even if they do, that's not specific to your children.

Speaker 2

Right, Exactly.

Speaker 1

So my mom, her vigilance, her love for the Lord, her diligence, to give that to us, to make sure that was our legacy, was so specific. And as I grew up and saw that other people didn't have that, I just wanted to document it.

Speaker 2

I love it. The book's called Holy Ghost Mama.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Why?

Speaker 3

I heard Holy Ghost Mama.

Speaker 1

Here we go, Mama.

Speaker 3

And I'm like, she's got a Holy Ghost mama. Doesn't it feel like that? She got a Holy Ghost mama.

Speaker 1

Her name is Ms. Bev.

Speaker 3

She's a mama of the ghost. I don't know what you call it.

Speaker 1

Okay, Just give me royalties, Dave. That's all I ask. Don't you dare take royal.

Speaker 3

That will never make the broadcast. But, you know, when I Saw the title, though. Tell us why Holy Ghost, Mama.

Speaker 1

Because she depended on the Holy Spirit to raise us every day. And she made it clear that she was dependent on the Holy Spirit every day to raise us, that she wasn't doing it in her own strength, that she didn't know what to do.

When you read the book, you see things. I tried to do it in a funny way, obviously, but things were hard and we had a lot of trauma. But she was so dependent on the Holy Spirit that we knew it.

And that was, to me, the cornerstone of us being raised.

Speaker 3

I mean, how did you know it? How did you see it?

Speaker 1

The first story that I tell in the book is when I went to a restaurant at 12 years old, and it's called Eaton Park. If you're in Pittsburgh, it's still there.

I invited all my friends to go to the restaurant with me. And I said, I'm paying. Because that was when you could go to lunch during school and come back. So they let you leave and come back.

Speaker 2

And how old were you?

Speaker 1

12. 12 years old, sixth grade.

Speaker 3

And you're paying?

Speaker 1

I'm paying for everybody. And everyone's like, yeah, of course.

Speaker 2

When you said that, what were you thinking?

Speaker 1

Let's all go to lunch and hang out. I love my friends, and I'll pay. And I love Eaton Park, and I'll pay. Eaton Park has great hot dogs, fries, and shakes.

So we all walked from the elementary school to Eaton Park. We ate and had a great time. When the waitress dropped a little piece of paper on the table that was curled up because there were a lot of numbers on it, I realized at that time, oh, you don't have any money.

This is the kind of kid I am. And quite frankly.

Speaker 2

Wait, Sherry. Like, so you're like, I'm gonna pay?

Speaker 1

Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2

You weren't thinking. But I don't have any money.

Speaker 1

No.

Speaker 3

Not until that moment.

Speaker 1

No. I'm still like this, y'. All. I don't want y' all think I'm still like this. I just happen to have couple more dollars now.

Speaker 2

You have a generous heart.

Speaker 1

I do. I'm that person. Everything is better when we're together. Everything's better shared with friends. Let's go have some hot dogs.

So I start feeling that. I say that cry in your chest, like. Cause I'm a kid. So I'm like, but they're still eating, right? And they're happy, my friends.

And so I get up and I walk to the bathroom. And then I let the cry out so. Because what am I going to do?

Speaker 2

Because they don't have any money either.

Speaker 1

They don't have any money. I'm paying. And I see a window. I literally thought, like, above the toilet, I see a window.

Speaker 3

This is a movie. You're gonna crawl through the window.

Speaker 1

I didn't, Dave. Because I was a portly child. So even at that age, not good at math. I knew the geography. The math wasn't math. And I looked up and was like, you're not gonna make it through that window.

So I come out of the door, and Eden Park is set up the exact same way right now. Same restaurant in New Kensington, Pennsylvania. I walk out of the door and I hear. And I knew the sound of my mother's keys because she always had to come to school for me because I was always in some sort of situation, as this story shows. And as I came out, I heard keys. And then I ran right into her.

And so when I looked up into her beautiful face, stern, beautiful face, she said to me, do you know how I know you're here? And I said, no, ma'. Am. And she said, the Holy Spirit told me you were here. Now go get your coat.

Now, I have to tell everyone. I know when you hear things like that. We were raised Pentecostal, so Pentecostal people were like, hey, Glory. But everybody else is like, come on. But this is before pagers. This is before trackers. This is before cell phones. There is no way for her to know.

Speaker 2

And she was home. She wasn't with you at the restaurant?

Speaker 1

No, she had no. She would have no idea what. Where I was, except for that. And so in the book, I say that taught me a lesson. Two things, that God was real and that he's a snitch. Those were my two things that I knew.

So that's how. That's how I was raised. Those things happened all the time because I was always involved in something. And the book became sort of autobiographical, which I didn't intend on it being, but I had to show people.

Speaker 2

But it's 21 old school lessons that Saved My Life is the subtitle. But I love that. And you remember these 21 things. Did your mom remember that day, that incident? And did she pay the bill?

Speaker 1

She paid the bill. And then I always say, I won't tell people what happened after that because gentle parenting wasn't invented yet. But, yes, she paid the bill, and the kids walked back to school. And I rode back in the car to school with her, so. And we'll leave that there.

So, yes. But she didn't remember a lot of these things until she read them. She was like, I can't believe your memory. And I think I wanted moms to know that, too. It’s the diligence that you have right now for your kids. And every day, that daily faithfulness.

My co-host, Brant Hanson, and I talk about this every day—just daily faithfulness, that it's another day, another day, another day. Please know it matters. It mattered to my life. It matters right now. And when the Bible says they rise up and call her blessed, that's what this book is about: that daily faithfulness mattered.

Speaker 2

It is so interesting, Sherry, because our kids.

I would go to bed at night sometimes feeling like I'm the biggest failure of a mom. I yelled at them. I did something. There's so many things that I regretted.

And I'd feel that heavy weight of that guilt.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

And even shame sometimes as I went to bed. And then I would pray, father, let them forget all the things that I did to mess them up. Like, please, Jesus, don't let this mess them up.

And it's interesting how they remember things. Just as you said that I have no recall of doing or saying. But it's like God just can use those moments.

And for you, these moments shaped you.

Speaker 1

They did. They shaped me. I say they saved my life because they did. It's those little things that she wasn't sitting somewhere thinking, I'm now going to deliver a lesson that is going to save her life down the line.

Speaker 3

It'll be in a book someday.

Speaker 4

Yeah.

Speaker 1

One day she's going to write a book and it's going to be great. No, she was just seeking God and asking the Holy Spirit to help her. She said, "daily bread every day, Holy Spirit, help me today." And that's what I wanted moms to know, is that that daily vigilance, because she was vigilant every day.

People kind of respond on how I take care of my mother and everything. I always say I give her whatever she wants. But I realized as I was writing this book, she didn't have a life. She had to really deal with a kid like me. My brother was easy, but a kid like me? Every single day, I was thinking of a new way to blow my world up, blow her world up. And she had to have daily vigilance.

Then my father, I talk about in the book. My father was a drug addict and a drug dealer, and we had all of that trauma in the house. I read it and I'm like, she didn't have a life. She was constantly asking God to cover us, protect us, thinking about how to raise us and shield us. And I'm just grateful.

Speaker 3

I mean, did you ever sense any bitterness with her toward her hard life?

Speaker 1

No. No, not once.

Speaker 2

Really? She didn't whine or complain?

Speaker 1

Not once.

Speaker 2

Oh, I was good at that as a mom. I was really good at that. I do everything around here. Nobody appreciates me.

Speaker 3

I've never heard you say anything like that. Maybe yesterday.

Speaker 2

But she didn't. And she could have. She had every right to.

Speaker 1

She had every right to. I would say that's one of the joys of taking care of her now and was one of the joys of taking care of her. Her taking care of her mother is the gratitude. She's just grateful. Like, my grandma was like that. You take her for ice cream, and the way she would thank you is like you had given her $70 million. And it's just an ice cream cone, right?

No, gratitude is something that my mom just always had and modeled for us. Even saying this, it feels weird. I can kind of feel people, because I do radio for a living, you guys know, and podcasting. So I can feel the listeners rolling their eyes like, "Oh, come on." But then I was like, "No, I'm going to tell this story because it's real and it's true." This is who this lady is and was to us, you know? No, she was not bitter.

Speaker 2

You know, we would love to pray for you. I think one of the greatest gifts that we can give people is to pray for them. And I know it feels like it's not much, but God promises that he hears us when we pray.

We have a team here at Family Life that would love to pray for you. You can reach out to us on familylife.com/prayforme and be specific with your needs. Tell us how we can pray, what's going on, and you know that we will pray for you.

And here's the best part. God answers, God hears, God sees, and he is there for you. And we want to be there for you, too. So go to familylife.com/prayforme.

What about the mom that's like, oh, I've totally failed at that? Like, I'm horrible. My kids will hear me the rest of their lives complaining about their father or what he's not doing or what I haven't done.

Speaker 4

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Or yeah, about them.

Speaker 1

I. You know what? I think God is faithful, and I think he's merciful. And I don't think. I know. I know he's faithful. I know he's merciful. I know goodness and mercy follow us. I know that.

That's the other reason why I wrote the book. I'm like, here's something. She was never gonna write it. So I could write it and say, here's something this lady did. And it worked for me.

I think if you read it and you're like, oh, I can do that. I can pray over my kids. I can have these little scriptures that they have to read every day. That's in the book where she had this bread box, where we read scriptures every morning. You had to get one little scripture and you had to read it.

Speaker 2

What's the bread box have to do with it?

Speaker 1

It's a little box with. It was a bread. I get daily bread. Maybe. Maybe that's what it meant. So it was like a little card, and it had a scripture on it. And in the morning, you'd go, me and my brother. You get that? And it would have a scripture on it. And you'd say it. You'd read it to each other. Read it to my mom.

Throughout the day, you're supposed to keep that in your mind. Because at dinner, she would ask you what it was before we ate. And she wanted to know, what was that scripture before we ate. And so for my brother, that's fine. But for me, I was chaotic in school. I know it's hard to believe as you're listening to me, but it's true. I. Constant chaos. Constant. Just everything going on.

But that I would still, in my head, be saying the scripture. Cause I knew she was going to ask me at dinner. So while I'm causing total chaos in the school, I'm still saying, "The Lord is my light and my salvation. Who shall I fear? The Lord is my light." And so scripture was just always there.

So I think for the mom listening, there are still things. There are still rituals that you can do to embed the word of God and the character of God in your kids. And I think that that's enduring more than your mistakes.

Speaker 3

We should create a little family life. Bread Scripture.

Speaker 1

Oh, man.

Speaker 3

Table.

Speaker 1

My brother and I still.

Speaker 3

That's awesome.

Speaker 1

Oh, every day. And I mean every day. So I said, when I went to college, I was the most theologically astute backslider you would ever see because I knew so much word.

But it was because. It was because every day she was vigilant over that. She was. I would say, if there's one thing, man, my mom was vigilant over the word of God being having preeminence in our lives.

Speaker 2

And it's not that she was doing it just for you. No, she was doing it herself.

Speaker 1

Oh. She had to stand on it. She stood on it for her life and for what we were going through.

Speaker 2

That's what I was saying. She's probably desperate.

Speaker 1

Yes. Yes. Every day.

Speaker 3

I mean, do you feel like she was ever exasperated by.

Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 3

How much you were.

Speaker 1

Oh, yeah, Dave.

Speaker 3

Sounds like you were much.

Speaker 1

Dave. This morning she was like, okay, Sherry, I came flying out the bathroom singing some song, and we're a little late getting here. Right. And she says to me, would you hurry up? We got to get on these people's radio. Like, still. She's still. They waiting on us, Sherry. She still.

My way of being is a lot. And yes. Now exasperation. Yes. Because that's a lot to deal with every day. That is a tornado every single day.

And so that's why, when I wrote the book, I was like, this has to be a little autobiographical because people need to know what she was up against. She. Every day she's fighting a hurricane.

Speaker 2

Are you two different from one another?

Speaker 1

No. Oh, that's what she said. She said. How does she put it? You're just an apple, I'm the tree. So she was me.

Speaker 2

She gets you.

Speaker 1

Yeah. She wasn't as big and as much, but she was the black sheep, too. Her mother, the way I was for her. So she gets it.

Speaker 3

I mean, how do you feel? And we're going to bring her in later, but how do you feel she kept that attitude of gratitude?

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Perspective. God's good.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

When she went through all that hard.

Speaker 1

Stuff, man, I think it goes back to what you said, that she had to or we were going to go under. I mean, it. You know, things. Anyone who lives in a house where there's addiction or anything, substance abuse or anything like that, you know that that is a volatile situation every single day.

And so I tell this story in the book about, you know, waking up and, you know, essentially. I don't know it, but drug dealers have come to the house to essentially kill my father. And my mom is shaking me in the bed to tell me to get up, but I don't know why. I was a teenager. My brother is there, and she sends us out the back door of our trailer to the neighbor's trailer, and she stays.

I mean, I can still even. I did a live book reading of the book, and I was reading that. And just broke down because I. It was almost like it was there again when she went to send us out and she said the blood of Jesus over us before she sent us to the neighbor's house.

Speaker 2

But that's like, reimagine it for us. Take us back there. She wakes you up?

Speaker 1

She wakes me up. And she's whispering and she's calling me Pumpkin, which is what she calls me. Don't none of y'all better send me no emails, Tom, like, "Hey, Pumpkin." She said, "Pumpkin, Pumpkin, wake up." I wake up, and I can see, I guess it was headlights, but it was just lights beaming into my room. We lived in a little trailer, a little trailer park.

And she's like, "You have to get up." She swings my legs around the bed, and I'm so disoriented. She puts shoes on me and wraps me up in some kind of shirt or something. She's hustling us, and I can hear voices getting louder and louder in the living room. She takes us to the back door and says, "Go to Mrs. Schneider's house and don't come back till I call you." I could feel the tension of it all. I stand there and say in the book, it feels like it was the last time I was going to see her, and so I didn't want to go.

She's like, "Go, go." Just that feeling—you can hear the yelling in the room, and it's getting louder and louder. She goes to take us out, pushing us out the door to go to Ms. Snyder. I can see Ms. Snyder at her door with the light on. Before she lets us out of the room, she grabs our faces and pleads, "The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus. The blood of Jesus over both of us," and kisses both of our foreheads.

I just remember running. That run seemed like forever. It means two trailers right next to each other, but the run from our trailer to that trailer felt endless. Sitting there, my brother was asleep on the couch. I said he had Spider-Man pajamas on. I thought, "Spider-Man can sleep through anything." But sitting on that couch, just waiting, not knowing, I kept repeating to myself as a kid, "The blood of Jesus." I didn't know what that meant, but I knew that’s what she said, and it must matter.

I remember coming back to the house when the phone rang, and they brought us back, seeing her face while my dad had disappeared into the room. Because those things happen, guys. All the time growing up, those things happened. So when you ask me, "Why the word of God? Why?" Because this is how she was able to live.

Speaker 2

Literally. She saved your life.

Speaker 1

It saved her life. Yeah.

Speaker 3

I mean, do you think we can ask her? But do you think the blood of Jesus was like almost Passover? Like, I'm.

Speaker 1

I think so.

Speaker 3

I'm putting it over. The angel of death is going to pass over this trailer.

Speaker 1

She passed. Pled the blood of Jesus over us all the time. Now, that's something we do in the Charismatic Pentecostal Church.

I know there's a lot. I've heard people argue about it. Who said what? I've heard.

Listen, tell the little girl running from trailer to trailer, right? If you want to argue theologically about that, tell her.

Speaker 2

These stories are remarkable.

Speaker 3

One of them jumped. I mean, they all did. But it's a sorry dog that don't wag his tail. I've never heard that phrase out loud reading this.

Speaker 1

I still say it to each other. He says it to his girls now. It's a sorry dog that don't wag its own tail. I. You know what? And I changed names in there because I didn't want anybody to feel bad. But I still. Guys, I still feel that little thing.

The story is about me never really feeling afraid to be a public speaker, even as a child. So when I would get up, we had these speeches, like Christmas speeches, and then we would have, like, Easter speeches. You'd get up, you'd do a little speech in front of the church.

And my mother had the same thing. She would say to my brother, get up there and say your speech. Cause he would just freeze, right? And then she'd say to me, get up there and say only your speech. Because to me, it was like, okay, I got other material. Like, okay, we'll get through the.

Speaker 2

You got other material.

Speaker 1

We'll do the Jesus rose thing. But then, ladies and gentlemen, how's everybody doing out there today? So I had other stuff. And she would say, that's it? Only that. Yes, ma'. Am. So I was never really afraid.

And I tell the story how one of the children's teachers asked me, was I afraid? Backstage when one kid was out there shrieking in horror, trying to give his speech, she asked me, was I afraid? And I said, no. And she said, well, then basically she implied that God wouldn't be pleased because you had to be fearful. And if you weren't fearful, then that showed you were in the flesh and you needed. And so then I was afraid of not being afraid.

Yeah. Wow. And if I'm honest, there are times I still battle that where I feel the confidence of it because I know I can do it. And then I'm like, am I too confident, Lord? Am I trusting you? Like just that little tiny scene when you're a kid where you're like, I'm afraid of not being afraid.

And my mother said to me, because I told her what happened, because when I went out on stage, I froze. And I had never froze before. And when we got in the car later that day, she said, what was wrong with you out on that stage? Well, why'd you freeze up? And I didn't want to tell her. And then finally I told her, and she said, girl, it's a sorry dog. Don't wag its own tail. God has not given us a spirit of fear. He hasn't given us a spirit of fear. She said, love, power and sound mind. And then my brother said, and Wagner. So.

Speaker 2

But you remember that.

Speaker 1

I do. I do. I still have to say it because I remember with the God love the children's pastors to God lover. But I still remember that.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

So see how. How empower little seeds and words are that we say to. To kids that can kind of get there and lodge in your heart and in your mind. So thank God, you know, I had a counter word. It's a sorry dog. Yeah.

Speaker 3

And the next one's whoop, a bully.

Speaker 1

Oh, I was afraid to put that in there. Really?

Speaker 2

Really.

Speaker 1

Because I don't know how politically correct it is. You know what I mean?

Speaker 2

Oh, you have to share it, because it's pretty epic.

Speaker 1

Okay. So we got bullied. My brother got bullied a lot. I am a lighter skinned African American. He's a darker skinned African American. And so they would bully him based on his skin color and all that, and just really, just incessantly bully him. We would just run home every single day, just run home being bullied.

The last time that we ran home, my mom said, "I am tired of you running home. I am tired of fighting." It was just the fear of fighting the bully, the fear of being hurt. She read us David and Goliath, and I just felt like, am I gonna get in trouble for not fighting the bully? Is the bully gonna beat me up? It was just such a confusing and frightening situation.

Speaker 2

Are you older or younger than your brother?

Speaker 1

I am older.

Speaker 2

So you're the older sister?

Speaker 1

I am the older sister.

Speaker 2

Was your mom wanting him to fight and stand up for himself?

Speaker 1

She wanted both of us too. But I took it on as the older sister. I have always done that. And my brother, through the process of this book, we've had a lot of discussions. Because he talks about how I realized how much I took on. He read this and said, "I don't remember half of it, really." He said, "Because you absorbed a lot of it." And that actually made me, guys, so happy. Because if I did and his childhood felt more normal than mine, then I'm grateful for that. Because God's redeemed it all. He has. He's redeemed it. I hold nothing. If you're hearing me say all this trauma, all these things, I hold nothing to God's charge, right? I said nothing. He redeemed it. And if my brother didn't feel the brunt of that, and I did, I'm grateful for that. Right?

So I don't think she was saying, "You go out there and do it." She was just saying, "Stop letting people bully you. Stop running home, or you're gonna be running home all the time."

So one time we were doing recess. We were both there, and one of the kids, who was a big kid too, started bullying. He pushed my brother and he pushed me. I got up and I just kind of blacked out and pushed the kid. The kid was stunned, and while he was stunned, I pushed him again. Of course, the teacher saw me, like in football, right? Like when they see the second guy who does the hit. And I got in trouble, and I went.

Speaker 2

Did you say anything to him?

Speaker 1

I don't remember saying anything. I think we were all shocked. I think everybody was shocked. Cause he's a big kid, and I've never been, like a big girl. So it was just the power of my mom's words and me not having a slingshot in Iraq. So this is all I have. And I remember being in the principal's office, and the principal was not. Again, I was a chaotic kid. So the principal, I was not his favorite child. And my mom came to school and.

Speaker 2

What grade were you in?

Speaker 1

Fourth. Fourth grade. She came to school and I just tried to yell out the David and Goliath thing. Cause I don't think she was gonna understand. This is prophecy, Mom. You put prophecy in trouble. Like the other times you've come. This is real. This is what you told me to do. And they sent me to my room to the class. And she talks to the principal. And I never forget this, guys. And there are kids to this day that remember this. The door to the classroom flies open and it's. My mom comes in and she says to the teacher, excuse me. And the teacher's like, okay. And she said to me, you did what I told you to do, and I'm proud of you. And if it happens again, you do it again. And I said, yes, ma'. Am. And she walked out. Oh, my goodness. It was just because I thought for sure this is it. This is. I mean. Cause she had to come to school all the time. That's another thing. God love her. God love that woman. I just recently went home and I just did the math. The distance from where she was a part time teller. She worked her way up to assistant manager and then manager of a bank. But she started as a part time teller. And where my school was. That drive is ridiculous, really, of what she had to drive every time they called and be like, can you come? Sherry did this, Sherry did that. Just that drive. And I was like, yes, no, she gets another vacation. Come on, Mad. Just that drive. So if you're listening and you have a unique kid, a kid whose personality you can't quite wrangle in, and you're.

Speaker 2

You're going down the road thinking, this kid knows what's going to happen.

Speaker 1

Yes, yes, yes. Please hear me. Your vigilance, you're pouring into them, your focus, your. Your making sure God's word is preeminent in their life. It paid off for me, I can tell you that. I can tell you that. That's why I wrote this book, to tell you that kid with the big mouth. You're listening to them right now.

Speaker 3

I mean, what did it feel like to be affirmed by her in front of all your classmates?

Speaker 1

Oh, my goodness. Just knowing I wasn't gonna get in trouble when I went home. Dave, forget about the affirmation.

Speaker 2

Well, that's the thing. Because she was a disciplinarian, she was like, she's both.

Speaker 1

Yes, she did not mind, but it was the affection. I told her this yesterday. I said, I watched an interview where an author was talking about moms looking at their kids, and because you're in charge of them, you're always looking to see are there. Is your. Are your clothes right? Is your hair okay? Is your. Anything on your face out of love? Like, how are you presenting? Right. But a kid sometimes takes that as judgment or criticism. Like, I'm not enough. Well, now my hair is not okay. They can take that as, as criticism because everybody, the author said wants to know, does someone light up when I come in a room? I'm Sorry. And she always lights up when I come in her room, when my brother comes in a room, when her grandkids now come in a room. She never. Even if I was in trouble, guys. Even when it was the principal who was like, again, Ms. Johnson, we can't keep having Sherry in this house. I just remember I'm gonna say the man's name. Cause he was wonderful. Mr. Brozovich was a wonderful man. And I'm sorry, sir, for all that I put you through. Mr. Brozovich said we can't keep. Like, we have to do something. I can't. And I was like, a high honor roll student and everything. So it wasn't like they could say her grades or. It was so maddening and frustrating for the administration. And I'm sorry again, everyone at Kiskeria High School, but my mom, when I would come in and she's sitting there next to Mr. Brozovich, she still lit up. I'm still gonna be in trouble, but she still. And so that discipline was there, but she never not. She always lit up, and she still does.

Speaker 2

And you never doubted her love?

Speaker 1

I never did. It was such. It was both. It's the affection of her baby. And this child is, God, what in the world type of child have you given me?

Speaker 2

But, Sherry, as you say that, I'm thinking of listeners thinking, well, yeah, that's why you're not estranged from your mom, because she always lit up. My mom didn't light up.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4

She saw.

Speaker 2

I was in the principal's office, and she saw the negative, and she said the negative, and she's still pointing out the negative. So I want to distance myself from that.

Speaker 1

Yeah, you know what? I can't argue it. Like, I don't know. I'll be honest and say. When I went to college is when I realized everyone didn't have a mom like mine. I thought they did. And so, like, when people would say things like that, I would be like, your mom said what to you? Like, my mom. She disciplined us. But she never said harsh words to us. And we were not allowed. We were not allowed. Guys, please hear me. We were not allowed to say harsh words to each other. So anything, even dummy or shut up was not allowed. She just would have none of it. So I just thought everyone was like that. So I couldn't believe when people said what people. What their moms or what they would say to their siblings. And I can't argue it. I don't know. I mean, the. Here's what I will say a Mom was a young mom, was interviewing my mom, and she said to my mom, she said, I read this book and I didn't have this with my mom. She said, but what it allowed me to do is grieve what I didn't have and then be that for my kids. So that's what I can say, right? I didn't wanna not write the book because everyone didn't have it. Cause I did. Right. But when she said that, I was like, well, then I hope that's what happens. I hope that you can grieve what you wanted to have and then say, but I can be that.

Speaker 3

Give him a vision.

Speaker 1

Give him a vision. For a woman who didn't think she got it right at all.

Speaker 2

I remember talking to a young woman. She was suicidal, gave her life to Christ. I got a chance to mentor her. She lived with us for a while, but she was grieving over what she didn't have growing up and still is grieving that. And I think sometimes we do have to say it's. Oh, like, grieve it, mourn it, have a funeral for what you didn't get, and then close the casket and do that. Like, have a vision for how you want to be as a mom. And she's a mom of three now, and she's remarkable. She's giving her kids everything that she felt like she missed out on. And yet it's that secret, too, of then giving your parents grace and forgiveness. That's where. Because we're set free when we forgive our parents and let it go. And I know that you might have to have some boundaries, but. But still, man, we don't want to be locked into that.

Speaker 1

No, I mean, I'll tell you about my dad. I have no problem saying that he is not a part of my life because of everything we went through. But what I said to him was, I love you and I forgive you. And that was a process. That was a process.

Speaker 3

I've been there.

Speaker 2

And it's not easy.

Speaker 3

I know that process.

Speaker 4

Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 3

Yeah. It's. It's a journey.

Speaker 1

It's a journey, isn't it? And it's hard because when people say forgive, they make it like it's an event. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 2

That's exactly what Dave thought.

Speaker 1

That's not an event. That's a journey. Specifically, when you've gone through that level of trauma and I have to go get over that and through it, that forgiveness. Oh, my goodness. And I remember when I knew I had to do it is I was actually Interviewing someone on the radio about forgiveness. And the guy was talking, and I. I felt it inside. I had just started radio maybe four or five years in, and I felt it inside of, you're not doing this.

Speaker 2

That conviction.

Speaker 1

Oh, my goodness. And then saying to God, I can't. And so I went through that journey, and when I got. When I knew that I could look him in the face and say, I love you, and say to him, what I heard someone else say is, you did the best with the toolbox you had. You banged a nail in with the bottom of a screwdriver because that's all you had, right? You didn't have a hammer. And so you did the best you could with the toolbox that was given to you. And I give you grace for that. You don't get to mess up adult life for me because you're still banging nails in with screwdrivers. And that's the choice you're making. And that's that. Right? But I do love you and I do forgive you. And I said to him, do you hear me saying that? And he said, I do. And I said, that is all I have to offer you is that I love you and I forgive you and I hold nothing against you. So I do know that, like, you know what I mean? I do have that journey, just not with her.

Speaker 3

Did your mom take the same journey with your dad?

Speaker 1

She did. And man, it just felt like I don't know her and God, like, they're besties.

Speaker 2

That's the greatest compliment I would ever receive from my kids.

Speaker 1

I always. I always say like, sweet shit, if I'm in a car somewhere. And like, if we're gonna break down. So I told. I told a joke on stage one time. It said, I always tell God, you know, I got your little friend in this car. Cause I got my mom in the car. Okay, now your little friend's in this car, like, ever. It didn't. She had to. Obviously. She had to. Right?

Speaker 3

Right.

Speaker 1

But it just didn't seem as intense as it was for me. It just seemed like she. And I'm sure she'll say that she didn't glide through it, but the forgiveness process seemed like it went a little easier for her than it did for me.

Speaker 3

Hey, before we keep going, let me just say this. Every single day, families around the world are facing real struggles. And family life is here with gospel centered help and hope. When you become a family life partner, your monthly support fuels this work.

Speaker 2

With your monthly gift, you'll become a part of community that receives Insider updates, which is pretty amazing. Who doesn't want to be part of an insider community? You also get invitations to special events and more because together we're helping families grow stronger in Christ. So join us.

Speaker 3

Yeah, just go to familylifetoday.com and tap the donate button at the top of the page.

Speaker 2

Okay, on to our conversation. How about the chapter titled you ain't being friendly?

Speaker 1

Oh my goodness, this is so classic. Oh my goodness. She moved us to a school district where I was the only African American kid. The only. And she did that because she wanted us to have a better education. She wanted us to go to a school district that had more opportunities than the inner city school district we were in. And so she. But she didn't have any money, she was a part time teller. So she got that trailer, she bought a trailer. And we had no idea that there was any stigma with a trailer because it wasn't the projects. So to us we were like, woo.

Speaker 2

You'Re living it up until you get.

Speaker 1

To a school district that is an upper middle class, upper class school district and you're living in a trailer and you realize, oh, I'm still sort of at the bottom here. But you didn't know, right? And I went to the school and it was just. I don't have the words for the brutality of it all. I think I look back now and I grieve it inasmuch that those were children, that when I was writing it, I cried for them because that's what they'd been taught. That's what they'd been taught to be that brutal. I mean, when I'm 12 and getting it, I'm in it. But now I'm like, those babies, why were they so. Who gave that to them? So it was just constant racial, horrible things said to me as a kid. And you just. I was unprepared for it. Like I literally left the projects and went there and I just had no frame of reference for that at all. And I went home and I just obviously, extroverted kid, you know, all of that. And that was all gone. And I was depressed and mute almost. And, and I just screamed to my mom, I don't have any friends. And she said, kiss my face, wipe my face. If you don't have any friends, you ain't being friendly. And that was the most brutal thing I thought, what? What?

Speaker 2

Yeah. Do you know how they treat me?

Speaker 1

I told you what they're calling me. I told you what they're saying. She said, if you ain't got no Friends, you ain't being friendly. And I said, they're all right, sis. And I remember her saying, all, all. And she kissed my forehead and wiped my face. She was always so sweet. You ain't got no friends, you ain't being friendly. And so the next day I went and I was in the cafeteria and always sat by myself. And as I went to go sit where I usually sit, there was a young kid, his name was Brian. And I loved Brian. He was in my homeroom and he was as mischievous as I was. He has passed away from cancer. I love that guy. I love that kid. And gosh, why all these tears on this show? I'm so sorry, guys. I went to walk past him and I stopped and I said, he had these big bushy blonde hair, big blue eyes. And I said, brian, can I sit with you? And he said, of course, friend. And I sat with him and ended up sitting with him and another kid named Dan, who never really sat with anyone else. I invite him to come sit with me. And we all sat together. And it was a. It was a lesson that she taught me. I. It's. It's cornerstone to things that she has taught me is you take responsibility for you. You aren't being friendly. I know what they're calling you. I know it's terrible. I know it's hard. You be friendly and see what God does. And yeah, Brian was. He was specialed up with seventh grade and we remained friends straight through high school and the end of high school. And I still remember seeing him knowing through his cancer battle in his early 20s. And he was a special, special kid. Very special kid.

Speaker 2

I mean, we're all crying.

Speaker 1

I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. That's not what this is supposed to be.

Speaker 2

No, but it's true. Because as parents, we don't want our kids to go through pain. And the first thing we tend to do is rescue them and take them out of situations that can create pain or hardship. But your mom had the wisdom, lovingly, as she's wiping your tears and kissing your forehead, to give you some help and some truth. And my theme today is when we stay connected to Jesus, that's our power source. It's not us, because our kids are gonna drive us crazy and our kids are gonna fail miserably, as we will too. But man, when we stay connected to the vine and we abide in Christ, I'm thinking we have the power to see our kids the way Jesus does, just like what your mom did. We have the power that he Gives us through the wisdom. Your mom was. She was talking to Jesus all the time.

Speaker 1

She was. And I just wanna say this. Cause I wanna make sure moms know this, too. Parents know this. There's a story in a book about. I don't know how old I was. It had to be early 20s, probably may have been 20. And because I don't want you to think she gave them the word. And then they come up and they're little junior evangelists in province. And my goodness, look at the impact.

Speaker 2

What's your brother doing?

Speaker 1

My brother is in it. And he has two girls who I adore. And he's a wonderful man and a wonderful father. And my favorite phrase of my brother is that when we heard our father's footsteps, we felt fear. And his girls, when they hear his footsteps, they're elated. And that is his legacy, is that his footsteps mean something different than our father's footsteps meant. But I want you to know that for all that my mom did, I still went off. So I don't want people to think you're gonna do all of this. And then if my kids went off, I messed up, right? We are people of free will. You know what I mean? Like, we make our choices. And there's a story in a book where I go to a party and I am completely. Well, I'm drunk. Can I say that? On Family life today? Completely trashed, and I pass out, and I don't wake up till the next day. And she doesn't know where I am. And again, no pagers, no cell phones.

Speaker 2

And you were living at home.

Speaker 1

I was living at home. And I didn't come home that night. And she knows her daughter, so she knows I can be anywhere. I can be doing anything. I agree. I want to say I was 21, but I do not think I was. So I may have been 20. And that's being generous. So maybe 19. And again she prayed and asked God, where's my baby? And I tell the story how I'm laying on someone's couch. There's people laying all over the place. This is a party next day. And the door opens up. And I just remember a common refrain in my life is, sher Yama's here. So many times in my life I have heard somebody say, hey, Shira, your ma's here. Or it's just a. Again, Cut this off. You have to. It's a buzz kill. Ms. Bev, the presence, the name, any of it, it kills everything. And they're like, Ms. Bev, all right, that's it like the music scratches. Everything is done. People start picking they stuff up to leave. It's over. The whole party is over. So somebody said, you ma's here. And she was there. God had told her where I was. And I now have to hungover, get all of my stuff. Cause I don't know where my shoes are. I don't know where it. And she's standing just in the doorway. I can see the silhouette of her in the doorway. And I'm getting all my stuff and trying to get. And I leave out. And somebody says something smart like good luck or something as they shut the door. And I get in the car with her, and she never says a word. And we drive home and I'm like, sick, because I was drunk the whole night. And we get in the house, she never says a word. And I'm just sick, sick, sick, sick, sick. And then I heard making a bath, doing. Drawing a bath. And I'm thinking, well, she deserves that because all night she. And the bath was for me. She had made a bath for me and made me some tea. And then I heard her go in her room and shut the door. And I just want people to know that kids will make their choices. I went way, way, way off. But it was those. Your vigilance. Her vigilance and her grace. Yes, it paid off. I knew where home was. It's the prodigal son, right? I went to the pig pen. I went there, but I came to myself. And I knew where the house was.

Speaker 3

Get it together.

Speaker 1

I knew where the house was. I knew to get up. I need to turn back around. I rehearsed my little speech in the pig pen like he did, and turned back around. And so there'll be those rough, bumpy moments. I don't want people to think. I think moms do that too. Where did I go wrong? Maybe I should have did this. Maybe. Why are they doing this? Why did they go here? Why did they? We make our choices, but God is still faithful. He's still faithful.

Speaker 2

Such a good reminder. Yeah, I know that our son in college, I'd be praying for. Our boys are all in college at the same time. And our youngest would say, now he's a pastor. And I can remember him saying, I don't know how my mom knew. Somehow she always knew when I did something, she'd call me the next day. I'm like, it's my mom.

Speaker 1

How does she know?

Speaker 2

And I wouldn't say a lot like.

Speaker 1

Hey, how you doing?

Speaker 2

Just praying for you last night I felt like God woke me up just to pray for you. And I didn't probe or ask him much, but I did know. And he could just. There's just total guilt. And he could feel it. And he's. And it scared him. How does Jesus like kind of. And I just sensed it. Praying like I need to pray for him and man that sometimes for kids to see like you're connected to the Father who loves them, who's always chasing them and loving them in the midst of it.

Speaker 1

It's the greatest gift you can give. The greatest gift I have is to know my mother walks with God. That's the greatest gift. She's not perfect. You're not perfect. My mother walks with God. That's what I know. That's what I knew. And when they have that, be sure they may not even when I didn't, I knew she did. And she. She had this. We're Pentecostal. So we were in church one time and someone gave a prophecy over me, but I was 12. So we're back in the church playing or whatever and she heard it and she. That's back with cassettes. I'm dating all of us now. You have a little cassette ministry. You go buy the cassette from. From the tape ministry. Everybody remember that. And she goes and gets the cassette. And she transcribed it, what the person said about me. And she had it on a piece of paper. I tell this story all the time because it means everything. And she would just keep it in her top right hand drawer of her dresser. And I knew that because she would read it all the time. But what she didn't know is I read it all the time, really. So if I came stumbling drunk or whatever the case may be, way off the beaten path, guys, like I said, I went to the pig pen. If she wasn't in her room, I would go and I'd get that piece of paper and I'd read it. And just knowing she believed God for that.

Speaker 2

And it said.

Speaker 1

It said what I'm doing now. It said what I'm doing now. It did that. What God would do in my life, that I would speak for a living, that I. All the things that I'm doing now, it said that. And she held onto it. And just knowing Moms, if, you know, just knowing someone's believing God for us when we can't believe him for ourselves, when it looks like it is not going to work out for ourselves and we can't get to him ourselves right now for our own rebellion, whatever. Just knowing you are Standing in the gap, as we would say, you're interceding for us means everything. It means everything. That's why I wrote the book.

Speaker 2

It's so crazy, too, because you're an author.

Speaker 1

I am.

Speaker 2

You're a standup comedian.

Speaker 1

I am.

Speaker 2

You're on syndicated radio to how many stations? As well as YouTube, podcasts, and you.

Speaker 3

Gotta work with Brian Hanson every day.

Speaker 1

Yeah. That's the joy of my life, working with Mr. Hanson. Yeah. All of those things. And God did all of those things. And if you would have been in any one of these lessons during that time, you would not have said, this.

Speaker 2

Girl'S gonna change the world. She's gonna mark the world for Jesus.

Speaker 1

This is where she would be right now. You would not have said that. It. It's only the grace of God. And. And a mom who I always said stood between me and hell and said, no, no, God said something else. And she just stood there and believed it. And so if you're. If you're in that place right now as a mom, I just want you to know she was, too, and trust God's faithfulness.

Speaker 3

And where do you think you'd be without her?

Speaker 1

I said that I would be very famous, very rich. And that person you'd be like again, in rehab. Really. And then no longer with us. That would have been. I would have been that. On that treadmill of just really fun to be around, really funny, you know, talented performer. All of those things. All the things that you see when you. You know what I mean? When you read a tabloid or something and you see a performer who you really love singing and wherever, and. But you're like, my goodness. They cannot get their personal life together, and they are on a downward spiral, and you know that they're probably not going to make it. That is exactly who I would have been and definitely would not have made it to this age. No way in the world I would have made it to this age.

Speaker 2

No wonder you wrote a book.

Speaker 1

Yeah. I wanted my nieces or granddaughters, that's who the dedication is for, to know this is where you come from. Yeah.

Speaker 2

Let's bring her in.

Speaker 3

I didn't really mean that. Saved my life.

Speaker 1

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3

Should we bring her in, guys?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

All right.

Speaker 2

Ms. Bev, this was amazing. Honestly.

Speaker 3

Yeah. What do you think? It was so inspiring of the conversation and her, you know, writing, the lessons you've taught her.

Speaker 4

You know, as you're living it, you never think that they're getting it, but I.

Speaker 3

Especially this one. Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 4

That.

Speaker 2

No, as a mom, that is so true. You feel like it's just going over the head. They're not even absorbing any of it.

Speaker 4

Right, right. So a lot of. When I read it, I was thinking, she got that from this or a lot of it. Like I said, you're living it. You don't even realize that she's remembering what's going on. Or I forget, because it's just part of life, you know? So a lot of when I started reading, I was like, when did this happen? You know, I can remember a little bit of it, but not to the extent that she.

Speaker 2

When I hear that, though, I think that's because the Holy Spirit is partnering with us. It's like we hand God these little measly crumbs, and he makes this gorgeous cake out of it. You know, it's just like you planted these seeds, and the Holy Spirit's watering it and growing. You have no idea that those seeds were taking root.

Speaker 4

Right. And he promised that it would not come back fully.

Speaker 1

Yes.

Speaker 3

I mean, were there times, though, as you're driving down yet again to the school.

Speaker 4

Oh, man, I would be so mad. Thank God. At that particular time, I had got a promotion, so I was in management. I managed a bank so I could leave. I mean, I had to tell employees, but it wasn't like that. I had to go to somebody, you know, but thank God that that had happened. But it was about 30, 35, 40 minutes.

Speaker 1

Yeah, it was long.

Speaker 3

Oh, really? Just to get there.

Speaker 2

I'm hearing you. I'm kind of encouraged that you would be mad because I'm.

Speaker 4

Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2

Oh, good. Because I got mad as a mom. But I also heard some restraint in that. Maybe you'd go to your room or you wouldn't say anything for a while. Was that purposeful?

Speaker 4

Oh, most definitely. Because I wanted to. I wanted the Lord to be. I didn't want my flesh to get into it. Cause if you're mad and then you just say things. I didn't want to hurt her spirit. I just wanted to make sure that whatever I said that it was done in love and that the Holy Spirit would take my words and make it real to her. So if I just immediately just go into my flesh and say stuff, you never know what's coming on, and you can't get that back. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1

So she did not say harsh words to us. And if you did lose your temper in any way, and this is key, man, you talked about this before. She had no problem saying, I am sorry. I'm sorry, you know, Mommy's sorry about that anything. And not just that, anything, her ability to. Even now, like, I, I'm at an age where people are taking care of their parents now. And so I hear stories. Woo. And I always look at her. She looks at me because she has friends whose kids aren't taking care of them. And she's like, man, that could be me. And I look at her because I have friends who are taking care of their parents and they are causing them some problems. And we both look at each other like, whoa, thank you, Jesus. Because she'll say, you know what, I'm sorry. Or you know what, no, I was wrong about that. I am really sorry. And that was all of our lives.

Speaker 4

But if you don't take responsibility, then they'll grow up just doing anything and never repent or never say I'm sorry. And that person's hurting, hurting. And that comes back on me. I feel like it comes back on me because I didn't teach her or she wouldn't have an example to somebody to say, I was wrong, I'm sorry, please forgive me. And a lot of parents don't do that. They feel because I'm the parent, I can say to you or do anything I want and then there's no repercussions from that. But the fact that I want him to know Mommy doesn't know everything. And I'm sorry.

Speaker 3

I mean one of the. It's really a legacy of family life.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

From way before we sat in these seats, Dennis Rainey, the founder and former co host of Family Life. You know Dennis.

Speaker 4

Yeah, I used to listen to it all the time.

Speaker 3

Yeah. For 35 years. And you know, we've been on the speaker team for the weekend remembers for 36 years. And he wrote a book years ago called the Tribute. I think they actually changed the name. But the tribute was basically to encourage sons and daughters to say to honor, honor your mom and dad. And maybe it didn't go well, but there's still something you could say. And so he would encourage write this and give it to him. I wrote one to my mom and my relationship was strained. She was an amazing woman. Now I can see how great she was. But there were things that I felt less than. And so I remember when Dennis said that I go, I gotta do this. And I wrote this thing out and got it calligraphy and the whole thing. So it was like a poster sized thing. And I gave it to her for Christmas and it's the greatest gift I ever gave her. It Hung on her wall till the day she died.

Speaker 2

As soon as you walk in the.

Speaker 3

Door, she pointed out it was just there. And she was there for me every second of my life. And there were many times I just didn't acknowledge that you should have, could have, whatever. And then that tribute helped me go. This book is like a tribute. It is to Ms. Bev. It's awesome. I mean, as you're sitting here now, is there anything you would say to her?

Speaker 1

Yes. As a tribute, I would say that throughout my life, if I am just half the woman. Oh, that you are, I will tell God. Thank you. If I can have the impact that you have had, if people can trust me with their problems and situations and know that God hears me the way he hears you. If they can trust that I hold it, that I'll love them, that I won't be judgmental, that I won't be petty and spiteful, that I'll be honest with them and then when I hug them, that that's real. If I can love, like you, just that open love, that open love, that non judgmental love that you have, that people just crumble in your hands and in your arms because they know that all that you have been through in life makes you know that there's hope for them. That what God did for you in your life, that you're like, you know what? I know he can save you because he saved me. Then, yeah. If I can be that woman, then I would consider my life worth it. Oh, it's the sweetest thing. This was not supposed to be a crying interview.

Speaker 2

There's a tissue right there.

Speaker 4

Thank you.

Speaker 3

Ann was poking me over here. Like, what are you poking me for? She's trying to tell me to give you guys a tissue.

Speaker 1

Thank you.

Speaker 3

She is. I've never cried so much Broadcast.

Speaker 2

I mean, I think that that's. As parents, that's exactly what we as we're longing for. That not the praise from our kids, but that they will. But they will seek Jesus and walk with him. That's the biggest thing. And he gets the glory. And Ms. Bev, you're always giving the glory back to him.

Speaker 4

Amen.

Speaker 2

And I would just love to close with asking you because we're talking to young moms all the time who are just struggling with their marriage, struggling with parenting, struggling with finances. And here you are raising these two kids by yourself, providing for them financially by yourself. You know, you're walking through this hard world and you probably don't have a second to yourself. How was Jesus your Priority. Like, how did you do that?

Speaker 4

I had to make him my priority because I didn't have anything else. My family was supportive after I had her. I mean, up until the time that I had her, they weren't. But Because I had her out of wedlock. But they were there for me, but they couldn't walk my walk.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 4

You know, they weren't there when we didn't have the money. Where Bill would take the money and spend it and would steal from the kids and have the drug. They weren't there. I had to depend on Jesus. He saw I had. And just to be able to depend on the Holy Spirit to walk out the Word, because I had a choice. I had a choice. I could either try to do it in my flesh, to do it in myself, and that never. Every time I did just went south. But I had to depend on Jesus. He's all. He's all I had, and he is my friend. I couldn't have done it without Jesus. I just could not have. And I had to depend on him every. Like she said, they didn't. We didn't have telephones and pagers and things. I had to depend on His Word, stand on His Word. There was time that I would go on through a situation, and there was one scripture that I would get to stand on and see his faithfulness through that word. Me applying. Well, not even me. It was really the Holy Spirit giving me the strength and the power to stand on that word because I couldn't do it in myself.

Speaker 3

Well, you know, last time you're here, you sang. You want to sing?

Speaker 4

Oh, no.

Speaker 1

I was gonna. I listened to.

Speaker 3

I was gonna go, friend, we have Jesus. I mean, you just said it. I'm like, that sounds like a song.

Speaker 2

I want you to know. My best friend listened to that program and she called me and said that was one of my favorites. When she sang. When Ms. Bev sang @ the end, she said, I just cried.

Speaker 4

Aw.

Speaker 2

That was really beautiful.

Speaker 4

That's still my testimony. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take him at his word, just stand on his promises and see him come through.

Speaker 2

And I love that you guys have always talked about, even when we're off air, your church family. Like, that's really important for you to get through.

Speaker 1

Very important, very foundational. And she raised us that way so that even when I moved away from home and even in a backslidden condition, guys, it was so embreaded in me that I was still in church.

Speaker 2

Really?

Speaker 1

Yeah. Because it was like, that's what We.

Speaker 2

That's what we do.

Speaker 1

Yeah. Even, like, when we lived at home, even if her thing was. Even if you're at the club Saturday night, get home for church Sunday morning, she played the organ. By the time I get up on the organ, I should see your face. So people who live in this house go to church now. I know people. Again, this is why this was such a risky book. Because some of those things, we were like, oh, my God, let people have their own choices. And her thing would be, you can have your own choice where you pay rent.

Speaker 4

Amen.

Speaker 1

Have the amen. But in my house, if it's here, then. And so I cannot tell you the amount of times I'm being honest with everyone. I would be. Literally, I would have a bag, and I would be throwing up in the car. Driving, speeding Sunday morning to get to service. I'm like, service? And she gonna be up. And if I am not in church, stumbling into the church. And what I will say is, as disappointed as she was in me so many times, never felt judged, disappointed, hurt, angry, not judged. And I think because it was a lot of her walk. Right. Like, there was a lot. We had a lot of similar things. And so I never felt that.

Speaker 3

What would that judgment look like?

Speaker 1

I think impugning me as a person. You are. And why would you. And I can't believe you. And you like me, my character, who I am.

Speaker 4

And I think that pushes people away from Jesus. Yeah, they don't. You don't really? Because I know when I got pregnant with her, even though those. They were Christians, they still. It was like a shunning part, you know, like, you did this. And they didn't even know that I had repented. I was sorry. But they didn't. They didn't take that in consideration. They was just going by my outward appearance. And I never, ever. The kids at the church where we used to go to would say Ms. Beth always thinks she's something because she walks with her. But that's not true. I just had such a confidence in Jesus. And I never want anybody to think that I'm looking down my notes at them, you know, or feeling that they're less than what they are. I never wanted them to have that feeling. And I am to this day. I don't want. I don't want. I wouldn't want to do that to my kids or anybody else.

Speaker 1

Yeah, probably. I never thought about that. But that shunning that you went through with me probably was very formative of having to. Because they. I mean, completely Shunned her. And I don't know if I can talk about this, but I can probably just. She was not gonna have me because it was such a shunning. And Ms. Sarah said to her, but you don't know who this is.

Speaker 4

You don't. That's exactly what she said.

Speaker 2

When she said that to you, Ms. Bev, what did you feel?

Speaker 4

It really resonated with me because at that point, then, I'm gonna have this baby. I never knew what God. And she basically prophesied to me, you don't know what you're carrying. And I see. I see.

Speaker 3

You are carrying a handful. There you were.

Speaker 1

It didn't look like it at first, driving that 30, 35 of a minute.

Speaker 4

It didn't look like it. Oh, my goodness. There was time. And I was like, glad. Did you really say this?

Speaker 2

That's so, so hopeful for parents right.

Speaker 1

Now to hear where you just have a kid. That is just so much. I look back on it now and I'm like, that's a lot. That is a lot. Like, my brother's very even and very mild and very logical. You know what I mean? And to have one kid who just seems to be set on fire every single day is so much. And wow. Yeah. You need the Holy Ghost. And that's why I call it Holy Ghost, Mom. Because you saw even her talking. How many times does she reference the Holy Spirit? Yes, she did that all of our lives. So that's why it's called that is because she always says it was the Holy Spirit. It was the Holy Spirit. It was the Holy Spirit. It was the Holy Spirit.

Speaker 2

What a legacy.

Speaker 1

Amen.

Speaker 2

I had My granddaughter, who's 4, said to me just last week. She said, nani. That's what they call me. Nani, is Jesus your very best friend? And I said, actually, he is. He's my very best friend. And you're one of my best friends, too. But it was sweet for her to even say that.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

You know, and he is. And I think that's a question for us to ask ourselves. Is he your best friend? And if not, why?

Speaker 4

Why not?

Speaker 2

Because he's always full of grace. He's always wooing us to himself. He always sees us and what we. How he made us and what we're to become. I think. I think, too, one of my favorite things as you guys talked is when you just said, like, when my mom walked in, when I walked into the room, my mom lit up.

Speaker 1

Yeah, that's really sweet, mamas.

Speaker 3

You hear that?

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

That's a word.

Speaker 2

Sometimes you might have to fake it until you've been with Jesus, and then he'll make it real, Right?

Speaker 4

Right.

Speaker 2

What a pleasure to be with the boat. Thank you, guys.

Speaker 4

Thank you so much for having us.

Speaker 1

I love this. Thank you, mom, for doing. She's not one that enjoys a lot of spotlight, so the fact that you guys have gotten her on twice, Twice, no one has ever pulled this off. So this is a testament to you guys.

Speaker 2

We know the testament. You know, the glory goes to Jesus.

Speaker 4

Amen.

Speaker 2

Hey, thanks for watching. And if you like this episode, you better like it. Just hit that like button, and we'd.

Speaker 3

Like you to subscribe. So all you got to do is go down and hit the subscribe. I can't say the words subscribe. Hit the subscribe button. I don't think I can say this.

Speaker 2

Word like and subscribe.

Speaker 1

Look at that.

Speaker 3

You say it so easy. Subscribe. There he goes.