Let’s Be Pro Hospital
May 23, 2017
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I’m pro-hospital. Aren’t you?
Ron, aren’t you and FamilyLife Blended condoning divorce? No. Not all stepfamilies come from divorce. It’s funny, people don’t accuse orphan care ministries of condoning premarital sex; they don’t think celebrate recovery condones addiction; and they don’t think presenting the gospel condones sin. Most churches believe you can be pro-hospital without being pro-illness, right? After all, the church is a hospital for sinners. We’re calling blended families to embrace grace from this point forward.
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Okay, are you a stepparent or a bonus parent?
Author and stepdad Steve Arterburn says,“When you demand love and respect from stepkids, you make them feel like they are betraying their biological parent so don’t demand that of them. Let love develop on its own terms.” Also, if neither biological parent enjoys sports, or hunting, or music, or sharing funny YouTube videos step in to that space. Make it your own. Bring something new and different to their lives. And, finally, share fun experiences and create memories that are unique to you.
May 22, 2017
To those serving us, we want to serve.
As we celebrate Armed Forces Day, be mindful of our military personnel in blended families who not only take great risk but face unique family challenges: increased stress when biological parents are deployed and stepparents are left by themselves; increased anxiety when lots of relocations move parents away from their kids, increased tension when the demands of military life make family bonding difficult. To the brave men and women of our armed forces, we see your sacrifice and we pray for you.
May 19, 2017
Don’t you want this marriage to be your last?
For years there’s been research on what makes for healthy first marriages. Now we know what makes for a lasting blended family marriage. Compared to happy stepfamily couples, those who are unhappy are 3 times more controlling, 6 times more critical, and 9 times more stubborn. Contrast that to happy couples who demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit outlined in Galatians 5. They are more patient, kind, and gentle. So, letting God’s Spirit live through you is the first step to a marriage that lasts.
May 18, 2017
It’s time for the extended summer sleepover and if you’re a stepparent, you might feel in some ways like you’re starting over.
Stepparent-stepchild relationships do take “one step backward” if you’ve had little time together through the school year. The extended summer visitation can be a little intimidating. So, take a deep breath and start with what you have. Be sure to listen to their pace. If they pursue time with you, then give it. If they keep their distance and need time to warm up you need to honor that. Find simple ways of connecting, but don’t force yourself on them. With time the summer fun can begin.
May 17, 2017
When forgiveness is difficult to do…chop it up.
The Bible calls us to forgive. Sometimes a person is willing to forgive but doesn’t practically know how to, especially if the offense feels like climbing Mt. Everest. When that’s the case, make a list of the individual aspects you’re trying to forgive. Chop it up. Then pray about them. Forgive them one at a time. This makes big offenses manageable. Ask God to help you let it go. That’s always where the process starts and then cross off each individual item. It will help you climb the mountain.
May 16, 2017
What? Cards, gifts, and acts of kindness for your ex?
Did you hear about the guy who took flowers, cards and a gift to his kids so they could give them to his ex-wife and then he helped them cook her breakfast? He said, “I’m raising two little men. The example I set for how I treat their mom is going to significantly shape how they treat women. Even more so in my case because we are divorced.” Then he added, “So if you aren’t modeling good relationship behavior, get your act together. I don’t care if they don’t deserve it. This is bigger than you.”
May 15, 2017
Okay, stepmoms it’s Mother’s Day and the Pastor has just asked all the moms to stand. Do you stand up?
Well, of course, you do. Stepmothers are mothers, too, right. You have all the responsibilities of caretaking for kids. You cheer them on and sacrifice and provide for them. Of course, you stand up. Why then for many stepmoms is Mother’s Day one of the most awkward days of the year to go to church? You have all the responsibilities so why then do you get overlooked when it comes time for appreciation? I say, not in your world and not in your church. Not anymore.
May 12, 2017
So, with all the complications surrounding a stepmother’s role, just how do you celebrate Mother’s Day?
The answer depends on how well things are going in the home. For the stepmom who has some challenges with her stepchildren expecting them to celebrate her may be unrealistic. So, the honor falls to her husband. Even if your kids don’t join you take your wife out and tell her how much you appreciate how she serves your kids. On the other hand, if the kids do feel comfortable encourage them to write a card, make her breakfast, or take her out to eat. A big “thank you” hug goes a long way, too.
May 11, 2017
Stepparents, have a bonus parent mentality.
At our Summit on Stepfamily Ministry, author and stepdad, Steve Arterburn shared ideas on becoming a bonus parent. He said, If you’re still dating, "Don’t hang around the kids a lot unless you know the relationship with their parent is going somewhere. Once you become their stepparent, act like a benevolent uncle or aunt. Create fun experiences for the family and remember to love their parent in obvious ways. Initially kids are more invested in their parent’s well-being, not necessarily in you."
May 10, 2017
Technology is great but it can keep our together families apart.
Have you ever seen a family driving by and they each have their own headphones on? Or in a restaurant, parents are looking at their phones and ignoring their kids. Hey, it’s okay if you have a little media entertainment time, but keep all things in balance. Parents, we need to orchestrate moments where people put away their devices and engage each other. Life is about relationship, not being entertained 24/7. Technology is great. But make sure family time and love stay central in your home.
May 9, 2017
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