Guardrails for Family (Proverbs 22)
March 13, 2017
00:00
Stepfamily living…without God? Now that’s a thorny path.
Life is tough but life without God is even tougher. The Bible, in Proverbs 22:5, says that crooked people have thorns and snares in their way; but “whoever guards his soul” it says, “will keep far from them.” Putting up guardrails based on God’s guidance encourages morality and ethical living and helps families move down the road despite challenges. So, parents, teach virtuous living and model it. You can try to put the pieces of your family together without God but I wouldn’t recommend it.
References:
Proverbs 22
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To better understand someone else, walk a mile in their shoes.
That’s really good advice in a lot of situations, but especially helpful when it comes to difficult people. In Romans 12 the Bible says, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” One thing that helps us live in peace is being empathetic. Seeing life from their perspective. Sometimes that recalibrates your perspective of them and yourself. Walking a mile in their shoes won’t fix every dilemma but it reminds your heart to be patience and that’s a mercy we all benefit from.
March 10, 2017
You’ve heard of Heinz® “57 Varieties”, right? Well, when it comes to blended families, there are 67 varieties.
When you throw all the possible scenarios into the computer, there are 67 possible stepfamily combinations. But, despite all the varieties there are some core needs that are common to all stepfamilies. And while there didn’t used to be now there are resources that teach about those core needs. FamilyLife Blended is helping churches all around the country bring these educational resources to communities like yours. The result: you get answers for your family variety.
March 9, 2017
“Ron, our marriage is great. It would be wonderful if it was just the two of us but it’s not.”
Sarah had come to realize that parenting dramatically affects a stepfamily marriage. One key for stepfamilies is to step in line. A line dance is when many people stand beside each other and do the same steps. In blended families, all the adults, sometimes across many homes, need to coordinate their parenting in order to bring harmony to the parenting process. This helps kids but it also helps couples have a stronger marriage. Cooperation isn’t easy but everything gets better when it happens.
March 8, 2017
Hey, man, get a hold of yourself.
Many people fall prey to their own passions, desires, and emotions. But getting a hold of yourself is about taking command of your tongue, your selfish desires, and your fears. So, whether you’re a parent who doesn’t follow through on discipline because you feel guilty about something, an employee who cuts corners because everyone else does, or a teenager who back-talks a stepparent when you’re really frustrated with your mom or dad—you’re not exercising self-control. Ask God to help you.
March 7, 2017
When it comes to parenting united you stand, but divided they fall.
Parents who disagree on how to parent find that their kids are the ones who fall through the cracks or get caught in the crossfire. This is really true in blended families because you’re divided on day one as a family and you stay stuck that way. One thing that can unify you is good parenting. Read a book together or join a small group—there’s lots of parent training available. You have no excuse. Stop arguing. Getting on the same parenting page will bridge your gaps and strengthen your home.
March 6, 2017
Because we parents love our kids, we are vigilant to protect them from harm. What’s sobering though, is all the things we can’t control.
We can’t control what another kid says to them, what they are exposed to on the internet, an illness they might pick up, or how someone drives when giving them a ride. Stepparents also have things they can’t control. What a parent in the other home says about them. How quickly a stepchild will open their heart. And never being their spouse’s first love. So, stepparent what do you do? Well, what all parents do. Pray and cast your anxieties on the One who can be trusted with what we can’t control.
March 3, 2017
There are seven things the Lord hates says Proverbs 6. And the first thing on the list is a proud heart.
Throughout Scripture, God makes it clear he opposes those who think highly of themselves. Let me encourage you to remain humble before the Lord for you will be lifted up and granted mercy. But don’t stop there. Be humble about who you are with others. Instead of looking out for yourself look out for them. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit says Philippians 2. But in humility count others more significant than yourselves. If everyone in your family lived that way...That would be great!
March 2, 2017
After 34 years David’s parents got a divorce. And he began to question everything.
There’s a growing trend of long-time married couples divorcing and the echoes of divorce make adult children question their own relationships. David said, “If their marriage turned out not to be strong, maybe mine’s not either." The loss of confidence is understandable. Questioning one thing makes you question a lot of things but you can silence the echoes by renewing your trust in God and each other. Talk. Connect with your spouse and stay committed. Their life does not have to become yours.
March 1, 2017
“Ron, you should see your face.”
Our boys were young and my wife was giving me parenting feedback. She said, “Ron, you’re a great dad. I love it when you discipline our kids but you should see your face. You’re intimidating and they feel rejected.” Well, that was hard to hear. But I took it to heart, and added the fruit of gentleness to my discipline. Turns out smiling when saying “no” was far more powerful. But to get there I had to take off harshness and put on gentleness. It’s your turn. Add gentleness to who you are today.
February 28, 2017
t’s time for a little stepfamily math.
A family of five has about 20 relationships to manage but what about a stepfamily of five? Well, add the ex-spouses, their new partners and their children and a stepfamily of five has 210 relationships to manage. Then there is the confused identity multiplier. The stepdad has one idea of his role, his wife has a second, his stepchildren, biological child, and his wife’s ex-husband have others. That calculates to 420 relationships. No wonder stepfamilies are tired. Don’t worry we’ve got your back.
February 27, 2017
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