Family Talk

Unidentified Speaker 1: Welcome everyone to Family Talk. It's a ministry of the James Dobson Family Institute, supported by listeners just like you. I'm Dr. James Dobson, and I'm thrilled that you've joined us. Well, welcome to Family Talk, the broadcast division of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute. I'm Roger Marsh. You know, there comes a moment when the life that you've been living becomes the life that you can actually no longer escape. The secrets, the shame, the choices you wish you could take back, and sometimes the darkest moment arrives just before everything changes. By the age of 21, Becky Tirabassi had spiraled into alcoholism, drug abuse, and such overwhelming despair that she was actually ready to give up on life altogether.

But on one unforgettable day, a frightening encounter in a courtroom set her on a path she never could have imagined. What happened next defied expectations. It challenged everything she believed, and it left even those closest to her wondering what exactly had happened. On today's edition of Family Talk, Dr. James Dobson sits down with Becky Tirabassi to uncover the extraordinary story behind that turning point. Here now is that discussion on today's edition of Family Talk. Becky Tarabasi, a celebrated author, a speaker, and the founder of an organization called Change Your Life Incorporated, which is a company that is formed to encourage, teach, and motivate people to achieve their goals and improve their relationships and find balance in their lives.

Becky has authored numerous books and other materials related to prayer and health. She's written one now called Change Your Life, Achieve a Healthy Body, Heal Relationships, and Connect with God. she's been doing this work for a long time. Becky, welcome. I'm really delighted to have you here. Thanks for having me. You and I cross paths back and forth at the National Day of Prayer and other places. you sit here at this moment looking like a very together, well-controlled, motivated person. It hasn't always been that way, has it? You were kind of a mess when you were younger. Is that an accurate statement?

Unidentified Speaker 2: I was an alcoholic teenager who got into drugs and then immorality. By the time I was 21, I became suicidal because I had done such embarrassing and humiliating things that I hit rock bottom. Now, I can preface that by saying I was born in the 50s. I was born into a family that every Sunday you got in a car and you drove to the corner church and you would sit, kneel, stand, sit, kneel, stand, and then kind of scream and yell and holler all the way home. And I had a religious background, traditions, but when I left home at 17, and I left home in an alcoholic, rebellious mode of, you know, I'm out of here.

I don't want to be a part of this family. I'm going to college. I'm finding myself. Well, you know, rock bottom at 21, I could only look up, and God used a court hearing with a lawyer who took me by the elbow and said, if you lie on the stand, you will be crucified. Now, as I mentioned, I had gone to church every single Sunday as a child.

Unidentified Speaker 1: How'd you get off track? I mean, having that kind of background in the church and everything.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well, I'll tell you what I really believe it is. It was alcohol. My father was an alcoholic, and his father was an alcoholic, and as a cheerleader, synchronized swimmer, straight A student, I wanted to be popular, and kids who were popular drank in the 70s and the 60s.

Unidentified Speaker 1: They still do, unfortunately.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well, exactly. And I drank more than the average. I, the first time I drank, I drank more than anyone else, and that is the common thread of an alcoholic, that you can consume more liquor. Now, I did this at 15, 16. By 16, I was blacking out, passing out, skipping classes, shoplifting. I mean, I literally went 180 degrees from a spunky, fun, cheerleading captain, synchronized swimmer, traveled all over the United States to complete alcoholic, smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day, foul, filthy mouth, all by 16, graduated a year early at 17, out of the house.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You had an eating disorder too, didn't you?

Unidentified Speaker 2: Uh.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Or at least you overate.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well, I did, I had everything, Dr. Dobson, from the time you, you know, drink too much, I put on probably 30 pounds, and some of my friends gave me some bootleg drugs. We would buy speed, we would take dope. I always, I was filled, I was filled with drugs or alcohol. My life really, at 21, there really wasn't another day left when I went to this court hearing, and this lawyer said to me, you're done, you can't lie, or you're, you know, I thought he was telling me I was going to jail, at which point...

Unidentified Speaker 1: What had you done?

Unidentified Speaker 2: I'd hit a car while drinking, and a person was in the car, and I had actually gotten knocked out and taken to the hospital, and they didn't find me in time to take the alcohol test, so they couldn't really, um...

Unidentified Speaker 1: Throw the book at you.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Right. But here I am, just a frightened 21-year-old, knowing that I am an addict and I am immoral and I am, I couldn't even stand myself. And I have this personality where you just have to have fun, and I couldn't see 20 years in a, an organization for alcoholics or a hospital to get better. I- I'm not that kind of person, so it was like do or die, sink or swim, and when he said, you are going to be crucified, I literally, the only person I'd ever heard of who was crucified was Jesus Christ.

Unidentified Speaker 1: He really used that word.

Unidentified Speaker 2: He did, and I'm sure God placed it in him because it was a moment in time. It was a day I will never forget. It was August 26th, 1976. I told the truth at the court hearing, what I could remember, which wasn't much, and I left the court hearing, which was about 20 miles from where I was living in Monterey, California, and I drove to a church, the kind of church my parents had raised me in. I did not know the name of the church. I did not know the name of the pastor. I went in the doors of this, and it was an outside type church so that I had to walk down outside steps to find someone. It was weekday, no one was really there, and I found the janitor, and the janitor's name was Ralph, and I started to cry, and I said, I need help, and he said, let's just say a prayer.

Now, I'm a disco dancing, living with my boyfriend, drug taking, alcoholic, speed freak, foul-mouthed young woman who says, okay. I had nowhere else to, I had nothing. I had not a day left. I was suicidal, completely suicidal. All I could think of is you got to have a drink, you've got to have a drink, knowing that if I had one, I wouldn't know what I would do with my body, which had gotten me into this trouble. And I said, okay. He said, just ask Jesus to come into your heart. Now, I have to tell you, at that time in the 70s, Jesus freaks were people you really didn't like if you were of my lifestyle.

And I pretty much felt like, okay, this is what this guy is, but I knew that I had no nowhere to go. So I said, dear Jesus, come into my heart. so on this day, when I said this prayer, it was very supernatural because he said, ask him to forgive you of any sins. If you can think of them, name them. Well, I have a very vivid memory, and as I began to explain everything I had done probably in the last 2 months, this guy's eyes were like saucers, and he was probably thinking, oh, she's way worse than I thought. And I was thinking, how can this feel good for someone to hear the worst part about you, to know that, not that he accepted me, but that he was giving me this impression that God loved me just the way I was, that he would forgive me if I would confess my sins.

And little did I know, you know, 1 John 1:9 says, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And that was the experience I was having, a shower. I was a muddy, muddy mess, and the shower was kind of long and hard and fast, and I immediately, he said, now ask God to fill you with his Holy Spirit. Well, I had only heard of the Holy Ghost, and the Holy Spirit sounded way friendlier, so I'm like, fill me with your Holy Spirit, and immediately, and I can't tell you why it doesn't happen for everyone this way. I think I was so desperate, so ready, so open, so broken, so surrendered in that moment.

It wasn't liturgical, it wasn't a service, it wasn't a crusade, it wasn't a Sunday school class, it was an encounter with God. A broken woman, young woman, who didn't deserve a second chance, received from God's choice of a person to minister to me who was a janitor because he needed a second chance.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You have tears in your eyes right now. You're still emotional about that experience that took place.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Because, and this, it's a passion that won't go away. There are so many people lost, and they've been churchgoers, or they're lost because they are addicted, but life is so difficult for so many people, and the simple connection that I had with God that day radically, absolutely revolutionized my life. I quit drinking, smoking, doing drugs, and living with my boyfriend within 24 hours.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You came out of that church.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Walked out of that church.

Unidentified Speaker 1: A changed person.

Unidentified Speaker 2: A brand new person, and the janitor had said to me, the Bible says when someone becomes a Christian, you become a brand new person inside. Old things, and of course this is living Bible, old things pass away and all things become new. And I have to tell you, Dr. Dobson, I had to believe him. He spoke with authority, the authority of the word of God. That is all that transpired in that moment, so that when I walked out of there, oh, and he told me that, you know, and now that you know Jesus, you've been given a free gift of eternal life. You know, this was one of the endless thoughts as a child.

What if my mom dies? What if my dad dies? What if I die? No one had an answer in my denomination if you die. Well, maybe if you're good enough. Well, I was not good enough. So when he told me I had this free gift of eternal life, you know, all my problems were solved. I have a new life for Earth, and I'm going to heaven. What more could a girl ask for? So off I go to work where everybody knows me as one person, and I start saying, hey, come to my house. I'm going to have a Bible study with a janitor. And they're like, you've totally lost it. And some of my friends thought I did.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Becky, do you know how many people are listening to us right now who are just as lost at this moment as you were then? I mean, people who

Unidentified Speaker 2: Or their kids are.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Yeah, and they have no answers. They've tried everything and they can't find a solution, and it is so easy. It is right there. He is right there waiting.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well, that's why I wrote the book Change Your Life and why I went to a New York publisher and sought an ability to reach a seeker by being in bookstores where seekers go.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Now this, this is published by Berkeley.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Putnam, the paperbacks Berkeley.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Yeah. That is a secular publisher.

Unidentified Speaker 2: It is.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You were looking to reach out to those who don't know Christ.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Absolutely, and the simple outline is change begins with awareness, and if you hit bottom, you're aware. Some of us don't need to hit bottom. You're aware there's an area in your life that needs to change. You are empowered. You are given power to change when you admit to God, yourself, and others that you need help. You know, there are enough alcoholics in my family that could not say the words, I'm an alcoholic, and their lives did not change very much. When I admitted I was an alcoholic and needed help, and I asked God to come in and change me, it was so dramatic, the change, that my friends either thought I'd had a nervous breakdown or they wanted what I had because they had seen me smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day, swear profusely.

And as you look at me when you started out, you said, oh, here's a nice put together gal. It's hard sometimes for people to believe that I could be that lost and that broken and that addicted.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You have skeptics who say it couldn't have happened.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Oh, I have a boss. My boss at the time, she's now retired, but she vividly remembers when I walked into her office and said, I've asked Jesus to come into my life, and he's taken away the desire to drink, and I'm a brand new person. And she looked at me and she said, I don't fully understand what you're saying, but I see a different person. And later I was able to encourage her to come to know the Lord, as I did my parents and my brother, and then I got involved in youth work. I left California because it seemed obvious that my life there wasn't going to enhance my relationship with God. And I really was certain that I could never turn back.

I had found true love, and immediately I felt a call in my life. this little janitor guy had a lot of friends who prayed and laid hands on you and did all kinds of things.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Did you ever go back and thank him?

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well, I only knew him for 3 months, and I don't even know his last name, and he'll have to find me because I only know his name is Ralph.

Unidentified Speaker 1: What city was it?

Unidentified Speaker 2: Monterey, California. And I know he moved. He told me he was on his way to Israel to go to share Jesus. So I think he was, you know, quite the evangelist himself.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You're going to see him on the other side one of these days.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Certainly.

Unidentified Speaker 1: I'll bet you're going to give him a hug, aren't you?

Unidentified Speaker 2: But he and a few other people early on identified my call as an evangelist, which is truly just a person who wants to connect people to the living, loving God in a relevant way. And I've been passionate about doing that for 25 years, and I feel like I have finally hit a place where, I don't know, I'm in the zone or...

Unidentified Speaker 1: There's no turning back, obviously.

Unidentified Speaker 2: No turning back, but I've achieved something I've been trying to do to really reach the seeker. And with this book and with the media opportunities that it's brought to be on television, I've really felt God's power and blessing. I'm moving behind something. I don't know where I'm going, but it's what I have thought he has been telling me all along I would do. I happen to be at one of the National Day of Prayer events. Dr. Bill Bright gave us all kind of a charge, a call to fast for 40 days before the end of the year for revival in America. When you know you're called by God to, make a difference in this world, and if a leader in your life says, I believe God is calling us to fast and pray for revival, you have to dig in, discover, and then make a commitment of your own, upon which I felt like God confirmed only deeper. not only should I be a fasting, praying woman, mother, evangelist, but that I should really focus on this seeker, that I should name the name of my company, change your life, trade market, service market, go for television on network, not to look for the seeker, just dig in and go at it.

It's been very difficult, and I would say to you, you're right, this is beyond a miracle. It's taken everything I've had to daily, and which is another reason I'm no Shirley in the National Day of Prayer, is because I I've prayed one hour a day for the last 17 years. And in my prayers, I'm, I feel God confirming as well as changing me. You know, the person who was out of control at 17 still has an ability to be out of control at 46. And without that daily time with God where he, he just not wears me down, but he, he can change my character. And, and I came to a point last summer where I still did not see a door open, and yet I believed God was calling me.

And I partook of another fast, and I believe it was kind of a final character cleansing. And shortly after that, I met Dr. Bruce Wilkinson, who said to me, and it was a random meeting, it wasn't a planned meeting. And his first question is, what is the dream God's put in your heart? And I thought, now that was a strange first question for someone who's never met you. So I thought, well, then I might as well go for broke. And I said, to be on network television and share the living, loving God in a relevant way. He said, but if God wants to do something great in your life, he'll certainly begin with a character cleansing.

Has he done that? And I thought, oh, here we go. And a few more weeks passed and more prayer and more fasting, and unusual circumstances opened the door for me to be on the CBS Early Show. And the last day of the 4-day series was almost the last day of the end of the year, which I had fasted probably over 80 days for revival in America, in between the time Dr. Bill Bright challenged all of us. And here it was, the 29th of December, and I had an opportunity to share with 2.5 million people how God came into my life in a simple prayer. And I thought, if you never have another opportunity, go for it.

Unidentified Speaker 1: They invited you there to tell that story?

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well, they didn't.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Did they know what they were getting?

Unidentified Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't think so, but when it was all said and done, they said that was their favorite day, and they invited me back and asked if I would start with that story next time rather than end the series. But a genuine, authentic, changed life speaks for itself.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You deal with health matters, exercise, eating properly, many other aspects of getting your life under control, and journaling is a centerpiece of what you do. We don't have much time left, really bring that down.

Unidentified Speaker 2: My background as a youth worker was Youth for Christ, balanced living, and it really hasn't changed. When you, each of us are made up of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual components. American women tend to focus on just the physical. Children tend to focus on just relationships. Spiritual often gets left out, and most of us never fulfill the dreams in our heart. So in a journal, I've put 4 days, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, where you would record how to eat right and exercise regularly, where you would forgive and ask God to forgive you on a daily basis in writing, where you would give, really record how you could tithe to ministries to send in your donation monthly.

I write down everyone I send to monthly so I would not forget. where I talk to God and listen to God in writing. So I teach handwritten journal letters to God as well as a 365-day Bible so that you could read through the Bible in a year and daily hear his voice so you don't need to like get magical, mystical about it.

Unidentified Speaker 1: You do this every day.

Unidentified Speaker 2: I do, and I teach it every day, and I have for years across the country.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Where do you get the discipline to do that?

Unidentified Speaker 2: There is this compelling encounter with God that in the moment when you say, dear Lord, I need you, or I love you, or help me today, he is there, and sometimes it's just his presence, but always, if you open the Bible, his word will be his voice.

To you.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Is it still as fresh and new today, all these years later?

Unidentified Speaker 2: I am compelled to connect people with the living, loving God, and it's proof, I guess, that I'm loved and that he's alive when I can't muster these tears, and you know, as a speaker, you tell the same story over and over. There, I prayed today that the power of the Holy Spirit, that his unction would be upon me and us.

Unidentified Speaker 1: He's here.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Because this is what people are looking for. Not religion, but a relationship.

Unidentified Speaker 1: They're so lost, Becky. They're so lost.

Unidentified Speaker 2: But

Unidentified Speaker 1: It is just

Unidentified Speaker 2: Christians

Unidentified Speaker 1: amazing,

Unidentified Speaker 2: too.

Unidentified Speaker 1: you know, I meet them on the street and they write and they call, and they're so lost

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well.

Unidentified Speaker 1: and they don't know who they are, what the meaning of life is, or why they're they've been put here, or how to deal with with things about themselves that they hate. You hated yourself.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Well, and I've been there, and I think that's why I'm a relevant messenger of, and I'm a doorkeeper. I stand at the door, because I know if I can get you in the door, there's plenty of people to disciple you and encourage you along the way, but I'm a good doorkeeper. I'm a good doorkeeper.

Unidentified Speaker 1: Well, Becky, you're a special lady. Thank you for what you do for the kingdom. Thank you for what you do for all those people out there who are looking for answers, and you're having an opportunity to talk to them. I thank God for that.

Unidentified Speaker 2: And thanks for having me.

Unidentified Speaker 1: It is a pleasure, really, to have you here, and I know our listeners have loved hearing from you today.

Unidentified Speaker 2: Thank you.

Unidentified Speaker 3: You know, Becky Tirabassi's story reminds us that no life is beyond the reach of God's grace. Behind the addiction and despair was a young woman searching for answers until an encounter with Jesus Christ changed everything. You've been listening to Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk as we've been revisiting Dr. Dobson's classic conversation with Becky Tirabassi. Now, to hear it again or to pass it along to a friend, visit jdfi.org. You know, Becky's testimony reminds parents how important it is to prepare our children for the pressures and temptations that they'll face in young adulthood. Those early lessons become an anchor when young people encounter difficult decisions far from home and their own family.

And that's why the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute offers Bringing Up Girls, a free 10-day email series designed to encourage parents raising daughters. Drawing on Dr. Dobson's trusted guidance, you remember the title, Bringing Up Girls, the national bestseller, this series explores how to nurture truthfulness, self-discipline, kindness, modesty, and sound judgment. It's about helping your daughter develop the character and confidence to make wise choices, even when the culture around her points another way. To sign up for the free Bringing Up Girls 10-day email series, simply go to DrJamesDobson.org and search for that title, Bringing Up Girls.

Again, you'll find it at DrJamesDobson.org or JDFI.org. Those web addresses are one and the same. Raising kids today can feel like you're swimming against the current, and no parent should have to make that journey alone. That's why the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute is here to come alongside moms and dads with biblical wisdom, standing firm on the truth that children are a gift and family is worth fighting for. Your tax deductible donation helps to keep that help coming for families all around the world who desperately need it, and you can make your secure donation online when you go to JDFI.org.

That's Dr. James Dobson.org or those initials JDFI.org. They're one and the same website. If you prefer, you can speak with a member of our constituent care team. That number is 877-732-6825. That's 877-732-6825. Or, if it's easier, you can write to us. Our ministry mailing address is the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute, PO Box 39000, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80949. Once again, our ministry mailing address is the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute, or just use those initials JDFI for short, PO Box 39000, Colorado Springs, Colorado, the zip code 80949. Well, I'm Roger Marsh, and on behalf of all of us here at Family Talk and the Dr.

James Dobson Family Institute, thanks so much for joining us today. Be sure to tune in again next time right here for another edition of Dr. James Dobson's Family Talk, the voice you trust for the family you love.

Unidentified Speaker 4: This has been a presentation of the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute. Hi everyone, Roger Marsh here. At the Dr. James Dobson Family Institute, we believe strong families build strong communities. That's why we're committed to providing you with resources that strengthen your home. Thank you for partnering with us to support and encourage families all across America.