Truth For Life

Bob Lapine: Do you rely on your children's Sunday school teachers to teach your kids about the Bible and train them in godly living? Today on Truth For Life, Alistair Begg helps us think through the vital roles and responsibilities of the church and the parents in raising children in light of the Fifth Commandment.

Alistair Begg: Exodus 20 and verse 1.

And God spoke all these words, saying, I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me and keep my commandments.

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. For the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, you or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's.

Now, when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, "You speak to us, and we will listen, but do not let God speak to us, lest we die." Moses said to the people, "Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin." The people stood far off, while Moses drew near to the thick darkness where God was.

We thank God for his word, and we may get the basis of our study. And I invite you to turn now to Colossians and to chapter 3. We come now to our fourth study in the Christian family. And once again, our text is brief and it's clear, verse 20, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."

We pray. Our gracious God, we ask now that you will summon us by the truth of your word, that you will teach us by the power of your spirit, that you will bring us to faith and trust in your Son, that we might be enabled to live in obedience to your truth. For Jesus' sake, amen.

All right, there we have it, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." We really have reversed into this little series and have, I think, fastened on something. And it is simply this, that we are recognizing that in a very realistic sense, it takes the church family to make it possible for each of us to be enabled to raise a Christian family.

The challenges are immense, the privileges are terrific, the responsibilities are vast, and the help that exists amongst others around us who've tried it before, who've done it before, who are living it now and so on, is a massive resource. And so we're trying to help us to recognize the fact that it is not that our physical family life exists as it were as a citadel.

And if there are other things that we want to add into it then, including church life, all well and good. But no, in actual fact, in Christ, the real family is the church family. And the question is not, how do we fold church life into our physical family life? But how do we fold our physical family life into all that God has for us in the church?

Now, it is in light of that that we've looked first of all at wives and then at husbands. And now we come to children. And the Bible is really clear, not just in the epistles here in the New Testament, but throughout the Bible, that parental authority is absolutely vital, it is actually indispensable for a stable society.

And that is why, when we read the Bible, we discover that from the very beginning God established mankind within the structure of family life. A structure in which the roles between husbands and wives were delineated, and a structure in which children were to submit to the authority of their parents. And this is, if you like, a natural law. It is in the instinctive dimensions of human existence. And it is also part of the law of God, as we read in the Decalogue earlier.

It is therefore no exaggeration to say, as I now do, that the well-being of a person or of a nation begins then in the home. And whenever a culture turns its back on God, whenever a culture turns its back on the moral framework that God has established for the well-being of society, when the destruction and disintegration of family life begins to take place, then it is clear that God's design has simply been set aside.

And it's not that God's design is hard to understand. In fact, it is because it is so clear that it is rejected so forcibly. One man and one woman in a monogamous, heterosexual, lifelong commitment, that provides the opportunity to fulfill the privileges of parenthood.

And it is surely noteworthy that on two occasions, when Paul in writing to various places, actually writing to the church in Rome and writing to Timothy, and to Titus, when he addresses a collapsing culture and he describes the constituent elements that will be represented, when the culture begins to fall in upon itself, included in both of the two key lists that we have is one simple phrase, disobedient to parents. Disobedient to parents.

In the midst of all the various things that are described, horrendous things, and the moral collapse and so on, there you find it, disobedient to parents. Now, what this then means is a number of things. First of all, it provides the Christian church and Christian parents in particular, with an opportunity for the Gospel. A chance to adorn the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ, as Titus puts it.

A chance for the Christian family to become a living testimonial to the truth of the Bible, to the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. And I've labored in these brief studies to set this in this context every time, and I want to do so again this morning. It's relatively easy to simply say, now here's what wives are supposed to do, here's what husbands are supposed to do, here's what children are supposed to do.

We're familiar with all of that. Our problem is not that we are untaught in relationship to these things. Our problem is a far deeper problem. Our problem is a gospel problem. Our problem is a biblical problem. Our problem is an obedience problem. And it starts with an understanding of who Jesus is. So, our first point will be to consider the identity of Jesus. Secondly, to consider the responsibility of parents, and thirdly and only then, to consider the duty of children.

You say, well, why would you begin with the identity of Jesus? Well, simply because that is how it is handled here by Paul. Paul was aware, and we've become aware of the fact through our study, that there were all kinds of ethical codes that were present in Judaism and in the Greek and Roman world. Those people realized by way of natural law, that for society to function, there had to be order, there had to be structure, and it had to be there in the family life.

So, what was it then that Paul was introducing, or what if you like, does the Bible introduce, that takes it forward from there? Well, specifically, the fact of who Jesus is, the fact of the Lordship of Jesus Christ. And so, what he's saying is, the specific responsibilities within the Christian home, for the various roles assigned, have to do with Jesus as Lord. And that's why here in verses 18 through to the end of the chapter, you find the phraseology recurring.

In verse 18, the wives are submitting to their husbands in the Lord. In verse 20, children are to do this because it is pleasing to the Lord. In 22, we obey our earthly masters fearing the Lord. And in verse 24, and in part A, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward, you are serving the Lord Christ. So, the summary of the responsibilities of various family members is actually the application of their theology.

In other words, we have to understand the Bible, we have to understand who Jesus is. We have to both believe it and we have to live in the light of it if we're going to actually make any sense of practical instruction such as this. And that is why, for example, in chapter 2, and in the middle of chapter 2, verse 6 there of chapter 2, he says to them, "Therefore, as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord," this is the distinguishing feature of these people.

You have received Jesus as Lord. He is your king, he is the sovereign one, he's in charge of your finances, he's in charge of your future, he's in charge of your family. He's in charge. You've received him. He's the Lord. Now he says, "In light of that, in light of that, the imperative is that you now must walk in him." Indicative, you received him. Imperative, walk in him.

You see how the indicative always precedes the imperative. So, you see, if somebody listens to me talk this morning, and thinks that what I'm simply doing is seeking to reinforce a Christianized version of an ethical code, then I've done a dreadful job. That's why I'm laboring to make the point at the beginning. That what is being entrusted to these believers in Colossae is being entrusted to believers.

They have understood God's grace in all its truth. They realize that they could not earn God's salvation. They realize that Jesus is the savior that they require. They have received him as Lord. Now, that is indicative of what is true of them. Now, he says, it is the imperative that continues from there. I want you then, he says, to live your lives in this way.

And I won't continue to read it, but you can read it on there in chapter 2. And what the point is is straightforward. Because you see, in verse 9 of chapter 2, "In Jesus, the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily. In him, the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily." In other words, he is God. He is God. He is God.

He is the one then who establishes our values. He is the one who guides our thinking. He is the one who directs our conduct. And in a very realistic way, poor parenting can be traced actually, not to an absence of information, but a failure in application. A failure first of all to believe what the Bible says, and then to behave in light of who and what Jesus is.

Now, Paul is concerned in writing to the Colossians here that they will not be swept away by the thinking of the surrounding culture. And actually, he says, we're still in chapter 2, actually in in verse 4, he says, "I'm saying these things to you. I'm saying these things to you in order that no one may delude you with plausible arguments."

Down in verse 8, he says, "See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and by empty deceit that that concerns human traditions that works according to the elemental spirits of the world and not according to Christ." Now, Paul has in mind there specific challenges as it relates to the identity, the person of Jesus. False teachers were pressing upon the church. They were teaching doctrine and they were demanding practices of people that did not depend on Christ.

And all I am saying in referencing these two exhortations is that while that was an express issue, a peculiar issue, that was there in the Colossae Valley, commentators debate the nature of the issue and so on. But the principle remains. It is for the Christian person living under the Lordship of Christ to see to it that we are not deluded. To see to it that we do not succumb to specious arguments and to philosophies which have no basis at all in reality.

And goodness gracious, if there is not an area in which that is a challenge other than family life at the moment, I don't know what it is. Because he said earlier, in Jesus, all these things hold together. Now, all of that said to reinforce this foundational premise, that obedience of children is the only proper response to the instruction of parents who acknowledge Christ as their Lord.

Obedience of children is the only proper response to the instruction of parents who submit to Jesus as Lord. Well, let me say a word or two about the responsibility of the parents. You say, well, it's supposed to be about children. Yes, it is about children. But the children don't live in a bedroom by themselves. They live in a house, albeit, with parents.

Parents are to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. But how can children be expected to know their boundaries if their parents are clueless? How can they be expected to know what they're supposed to do or what they're not supposed to do, if their parents are neglectful of their responsibilities, clear responsibilities as delineated in the Bible?

And whatever decision Christian parents make about the ongoing education of their children, and there are many within our congregation that adopt all kinds of approaches, and we understand and recognize that. But whatever that decision is, one thing is true of every mom and dad in the congregation, and that is that they are responsible for the instruction of their children in the word of God.

It is their responsibility. It is not the nursery's responsibility. All of that may be supplemental, but none of that will be able to take the place of what happens in the routine, sitting down, standing up, riding in the car, and so on. The task is to be exercised by the parents in the face of all of the challenges of a world that doesn't agree.

The insinuations of the evil one that come to us and say, you know, you shouldn't listen to all this stuff, it's old-fashioned. It's it's the Bible, if somebody had written the Bible at this point, they would never have included this, that's the kind of thing you hear. Or they'll say, but you need to be a pragmatic person. You just need to be as as realistic as you can, and frankly, this doesn't work.

Or you have them saying, you know, what you really need is self-help in this. You don't need Bible help, you don't need the Spirit's help. Psychology will be of far more help to you than theology. And at the heart of all of those kind of insinuations, which come ultimately from the evil one, at the heart of it all is the undermining of the word of God. Undermining of the word of God.

The design of the evil one is to get God's people to live their lives paying scant attention to the truth of the Bible. Being prepared to affirm its authority, as we said at the end last time. Being prepared to say we believe it entirely, and then to do absolutely nothing with it when it comes to the issues that we're dealing with now.

Instruction begins at home, whether it's formal or informal. It has to do with the bedtime questions. It has to do with the travel discussions. It has to do with creating a climate in which our children recognize that we are depending on the Bible, and depending on the help of the Holy Spirit to try and do our level best, to raise them according to the structures and definitions of the Bible, that we are, on our best days, sinful as well.

And we do so in the awareness of the fact that, for example, let's take the demythologization of evolutionary theory. And your children come home from school. I remember, as we gathered around the table, one of the children said, "You know, I learned something funny at school today." I said, "Well, what was that?" He said, "The teacher told me that I came from an ape." He says, "How funny do you think that is?"

I said, "Yes, really funny too." And then we had to talk about whether you came from an ape or not. Whether God's word is true, whether what it says actually describes what happened, or whether we're living with a mythology. Whether we're involved in the greatest religious con-trick the world has ever seen, or whether we're dealing in the realm of reality.

I guarantee you that the child nurtured by a biblical view of the origin of life will enjoy in life a security that can never be experienced by the youngster schooled, for example, in evolutionary theory. How happy the son who can say, "When I was a boy in my father's house, still tender, and an only child of my mother, he taught me and said, 'Lay hold of my words with all your heart, keep my commands, and you will live.'"

Bob Lapine: You're listening to Alistair Begg on Truth For Life, and we'll hear more about biblical parenting on Monday. If you're a parent, you know how important it is to be on the same page with your spouse when it comes to raising the kids. Perhaps you've even read parenting how-to books together. And while those can be helpful, some of them leave you feeling more discouraged or confused.

We want to recommend to you a book that offers a refreshing alternative. It's called Good News for Parents, how God can restore our joy and relieve our burdens. This is a book that teaches you how to walk in step with the Spirit so that the fruit of the Spirit guides you through your parenting. You'll learn how to replace anxiety with peace, stress with joy, conflict with gentleness.

Today's the last day we are featuring the book Good News for Parents, so be sure to ask for your copy when you donate to Truth For Life today, online at truthforlife.org/donate, or call us at 888-588-7884. By the way, Alistair is in North Carolina this weekend. He's speaking at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove. Please keep him and those attending in your prayers as they gather in Asheville for a weekend of Bible study, worship, and fellowship at this sold-out seminar.

And don't forget that Alistair is hosting Basics 2026 in Valencia, California this year. The conference will take place September 29th through the 30th. If you're in pastoral ministry or church leadership, join Alistair, together with Hershel York, as they come together with pastors from around the country to learn from the Bible, enjoy a time of fellowship, and encourage one another to do the basics of ministry well. For more information or to register, visit basicsconference.org.

I'm Bob Lapine. We're glad you've joined us this week. Hope you're able to worship with your local church this weekend. Join us on Monday when we'll learn why godly discipline is more loving than hands-off parenting that's free from any kind of rules. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth For Life, where the learning is for living.