Truth For Life

Alistair Begg: In caring for widows and those in need, how much of the responsibility falls to the church, or to the family, or to the widow herself? Are these expectations different now from what the Apostle Paul wrote in his letters to Timothy, his protégé?

We'll think through the answers to those questions together today on Truth for Life. Alistair Begg is teaching from First Timothy. Let's open our Bibles to chapter five. Look at verse four.

If a widow has children or grandchildren, these, namely children or grandchildren, should learn first of all to put their religion into practice. Now, remember, in chapter four, he exhorted the people in relationship to training themselves in godliness. Training themselves to be godly.

He says, I was exhorting you to get serious about godliness. Some of you were probably saying, well, how will I know if I'm serious about godliness? He says, well, let me tell you one of the ways in which your godliness will be manifested. It will be manifested in the fact that you put your godliness into practice and you do so by caring for your own family.

If a widow has children or grandchildren, then it is primarily their duty to show the genuineness of their religion in their own homes by repaying their parents for what has been done for them. Is not what it says? Repaying their parents.

I do not know whether it is just because I started to pay university tuition bills or not, but this strikes me with real impetus this week. I am not so sure that there is not express instruction here about how it is supposed to be.

Because when you get married, by and large, you have no money. Some people have money. I did not have any money. Sue had a little. I had none. But I was with her, so it was okay. But basically, you have no money.

Then you get a little bit of money. And it is a parabola, that is mathematical. And then it goes down the other side, then you have no money at all. And while you're coming down on the far side of the curve, the Smith Barney guys are talking to you when you're watching the golf tournaments, giving you a really bad feeling because you do not have enough money now to give to these people, dependents, all the stuff that you already gave to them.

What am I supposed to do? Give them everything and then try and save up another lifetime's income and then die and give them that as well. Get lost! Get serious! I am not doing that. I decided this week. I mean, I have not told the girls yet. But there is going to come a day when I'm coming like this and one of the two of them is by me breakfast in Denny's. I do not care. They are buying because they are going to repay their dad.

I am buying everything at the moment. Do you realize how well off I would be? Goodness gracious. We got this thing all monkeyed up. Because if you think about it, if it works in China, it works in Africa, it is just a level of is the level of greed that monkeys it.

Because if you understand if you understand financial independence in Pauline terms, it is if we have enough for food and for clothes, with that we will be content. At that level, you can be financially independent. There is hardly a soul on the face of the North American continent that can live with financial independence in that respect. And there is probably very little difficulty for children in the old age of their parents for providing for their mom and dad in relationship to food and some clothes, and a bowl of soup, and a place to lie down at night.

And one of the reasons for the for the acquisitiveness that is so pervasive in many of our minds is because we have bought a completely secular model of financial structures which have been sold to us by the world and which we have completely adopted.

But the idea of family life and extended family living is supposed to ensure that children can lay their heads on the pillow at night without concern for whether they will have breakfast in the morning because their mom will care for them. And in her dotage, the mother is supposed to be able to lie her head on the pillow at night in the assurance that her daughter will repay all the debt she owes for all the times she was on the receiving end of such kindness.

You want to fulfill your religious duty? We want to fulfill our religious duties? Then do not be indifferent to this. Do not be reluctant when it comes to fulfilling this responsibility. Do not pass this off to the church, do not give this to the social services, do not give this to somebody else. In fact, if we do, he says in verse eight, if we choose to neglect this responsibility, then we deny the faith and we are actually worse than the pagans.

That is a striking statement. What does he mean? He means this, that even pagans know they have a responsibility for their parents. Even pagans without the love and the law of Christ within their lives still care for their loved ones. And indeed, in many cases, they are a far more wonderful expression of that care than many who are so busy giving their money to some coalition or another and can not look after their folks or send them a plane ticket or something.

Christian faith ought to make us more concerned about natural practical matters and not less concerned. And those of you who are classic examples of the fulfillment of this principle to which I am alluding, know who you are, and in every right sense, you should be greatly encouraged.

Now, let me give a word of exhortation to some others of us. So you are the only person amongst your siblings that has professed faith in Jesus Christ. You have a justifiable concern for the salvation not only of your brothers and sisters but also of your parents. That is good. You want to seize every opportunity and use every means to introduce your parents to the faith you have come to discover in the Lord Jesus Christ. That is good and that is right. So what do you do? You invite them to things, you give them tapes, you buy them stuff that is religious and will hopefully move them in that direction.

But who is it cuts their grass? Your pagan brother. Who is it goes over in the middle of the night when the roof leaks? Who takes care of the natural practical responsibilities of life? If it is our unbelieving siblings, and we think that an invitation to the children's choir program, or the Easter event is the practice of our religion, maybe it is the practice of our religion and maybe our religion is worthless.

If our Christianity does not work at home, it does not work. Provision for one's own relatives is an undisputable Christian duty. Verse 16 reiterates it. The responsibility is not to be passed off to the church. Indeed, he says if the church is busy taking care of matters that should be handled by the family, then those who have no such support system will be deprived of the help that they require.

Now that clearly was a list and that is the third thing I wrote down, qualifications for getting on the list. There is a list here in verse nine, no widow may be put on the list of widows. This is why I say this matter is existential in the sense that it relates to a moment in time. There are principles, but immediately we say, well, what is the list? We do not have a list, do we? And the people then say, oh, we have to have a list. Why do we have to have a list? Well, in First Timothy 5:9 says there was a list, so we got to get a list. No, first of all, we have to understand the Bible.

Why was there a list? Because there was a specific thing going on in Ephesus in the first century that demanded that they set themselves up in that way. This is not Ephesus. You will have noticed that. This is not the first century, right? But this list comprised individuals who were suitably qualified. And the requirements or the qualifications centered on maturity, fidelity, and charity. They could be included or excluded on the basis of age, attitude, or appetite. The age requirement, you will notice, was 60.

Now, obviously, this would not rule out helping a younger widow in the immediacy of her need. For example, a lady is 42, her husband dies in battle, she comes to the church and the church says, in 18 years we will get to you. That would not be good, right? Absolutely not, and that is not what is being taught, as you will see in just a moment. But that is the kind of wooden application of the scriptures that gets people into all kinds of difficulty.

This individual who is included in the list should have been a faithful wife. She should have had a reputation for goodness. And her qualities in goodness, verse 10, are delineated in part as being the way in which she raised her children, the way in which she showed hospitality to strangers, the way in which she displayed the heart of a servant in the washing of the feet of the saints, and the way in which she relieved those who were in distress. Indeed, the devotion of her life was to all kinds of good deeds. You do not get the impression that this lady was a talker, do you? You do not get the impression that this lady was a teacher, do you? You do not get the impression that this lady was somehow or another walking around with a fat notebook.

Not that there is anything wrong with fat notebooks or ladies who teach. But it is the intense practicality of her life. It is religion lived. Not talked about. That has made the impact. That is why people in the community will have identified her. That is why people in the church would have no problem in seeing support go to her. Because when they think about her, they say, she brought her children up well, she cared for them, she was kind, she was tenderhearted. Sure, put her name on the list.

Now, there is at least a hint that being on the list meant that the individual was not only on the receiving end of charity, but was also able to be engaged in ministry. Makes perfect sense, does not it? Here is a lady who is known for good deeds, bringing up her kids, showing hospitality, exercising a servant heart and helping people in trouble. Would not you like 100 women like that in your church? You think 100 women doing that, who are known for these things. Goodness, what an impact. That is what I keep telling people, do not go to Florida just when you're getting useful. You just turned 60, do not leave me. You just finally worked it out. Do not go away. We love you. We want you here.

The widow to be put on the list, says George Knight, is an elderly, faithful, godly Christian for whom the church should regularly and faithfully care and to whom the church could entrust, if the need arises, tasks she has already performed. Now, let me come to my last point. Before I do so, let me just summarize. The passage is teaching that the church only provides for widows when their families do not. Got it?

And then this is applications in pastoral care beyond this specific issue, incidentally. There is a lot of stuff for people phoning up, you know, hey, you take care of this for me, please? After all, this is a church. Thank you. Goodbye. I'm going to say, hey, wait a minute. Excuse me. No, take care of yourself. Thank you. Goodbye. Why? Because you're the family, we're not the family.

And there are people who have no support that we need to take care of, but if we're so busy running down your operation that you ought to be taken care of with your brothers and your sisters, then we will not have time, resources or talents in order to take care of the people who have genuine need. You see, people have a warped view of the church, you know, hey, I pay my dues, I'm in the organization, I've been paying into this like social security, you know. I've been paying into this for a long time, you know. I've been giving my offering for a long time, and by golly, I'm going to see some return from it. I'm going to see it now.

Well, you're thinking like a pagan, not like a Christian. You're thinking logically, you are not thinking biblically, and it is biblically that we need to be thinking. So whenever a widow is provided for by our family, there is no need for a list. If, however, a list has to exist, then the requirements are as noted.

Now, let me just say a final thing here in verse 11. As for younger widows, do not put them on the list. And this is the last thing I wrote in my notes, I wrote down two good reasons for not including younger widows on the list. And the two good reasons are there. Paul tells us what they are. Number one, they still have desires to get married, and number two, premature retirement may become the gateway to bad habits.

This is the picture. A younger woman may have lost her husband. And as a result of that, she is tempted when she sees the maturity and loveliness of a number of these older women who no longer have any interest in being married or having a husband, she is tempted to say, oh, I'm going to be one of those women. I'm going to be unequivocally devoted to Jesus Christ. And so on the rebound in loss, and incidentally, when you come out of a divorce or the loss of a loved one through death, you ought to give yourself at least a 24-month cooling down period. At least.

Because there is no guarantee that what you are doing has anything marked by sanity in it at all. And if it is right, it will be right in 24 months, and if it is wrong, it would be better that you stayed away from it. And that is exactly the principle that Paul is delineating here because here is a lady who in her younger life is widowed. And so she says, well, I'm just going to be unequivocally committed to Jesus Christ. I'm going to be involved with the widows in the church. My life is over as far as marriage is concerned, and I will just commit myself to the services. And so she is committed to the services, and she attends all the services, and she is sitting in the service one morning, and she looks over, and two rows down in front of her on the right-hand side, she just sees a guy, a guy's profile. And just goes, ding. And it goes, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. And before she knows about being unequivocally committed to anything, she is unequivocally committed to finding out how tall the guy is. Because he is sitting down. And then she sees him standing up and she is even more committed to finding out who he is, and off she goes on her journey. Is there anything wrong with that? Absolutely not.

Her normal, natural, sensual desires will overrule in the majority of cases her avowed devotion to Jesus Christ. She thinks she is going to be a nun, she is crazy. Now, love, you've seen this come and go, have not you? Do not put younger women in that position, he says. Because if you do and they finally fall in love with Levi and he takes them out for coffee through the bazaar and then they come in for the pre-marital counseling, she is all shamefaced. Why is she shamefaced? Because it is only four months since she said, I'm unequivocally devoted to following Christ. And now she is unequivocally devoted to shacking up with Levi. So what happened here? She made a wrong commitment in the first place.

Do not put yourself in that position and do not put these women in the list. And if that does not happen to them and they actually get on the list and they start the business, he says, goodness gracious, if they do not find their sensual desires channeled in the right direction in terms of their human sexuality as a result of remarriage and the bearing of children and the ordering of her household, he says, you do not even want to know what they will get up to once you start sending them around people's houses. This might sound like chauvinism, but it is absolutely true.

There is a peculiar proclivity with a lot of time on your hands and a lot of places to go, with the best will in the world, you find yourself involved in gossip and involved instead of helping, in hindering, and instead of offering sustenance, involved in slander. So Paul says, verse 14, this is my advice, and I'm going to quote it from JB Phillips. My advice is that younger women should normally marry again, they should bear children and run their own households. They should certainly not be the means of lowering the reputation of the church, although some alas have already played into the enemy's hands.

And then he comes to verse 16, he ties it up with a bow. Right back to where he started. The people who are in genuine need, comes back to the people who are in genuine need. When a woman who is a believer has widows in her family, and I think there's may well be a link there between what he's just saying in verse 14. Let's say, what he has in mind is a younger woman who becomes a widow. And then she remarries, and so she now has a means of support and she and she has a structure. If she then has other people in her family who are widows and who are of an age to be included in this list, then that woman now is not to pass the responsibility off to the church, which would be a burden to the church, and the point is an unnecessary burden to the church. But instead, she is to help her immediate family and then the church can help those who are really in need.

Now, do not misunderstand this. The assumption throughout the whole passage is clear. The church, the congregation is ready to relieve need. Penniless, widows, old and young. When an obligated family member, the same member of the church, refuses to care for their widowed mother, then the congregation will step in and provide the care because they recognize the peculiar need that is there.

As a result of that, the congregation will be commended. And the disobedient believer will be condemned. As long as there are children and grandchildren, it should never be necessary for the church to step in.

One of the most influential churches in Southern California for the last 40 years, with thousands and thousands of square feet of building, was in its first surge of significant building, built by a man who was a small boy when his father died, and his mom, widowed in her early 30s, had absolutely no means of support at all. And so the men from the church came to that mother, to that widow, and to her small children, and