Truth For Life

Bob Lepine: Sometimes forgiveness can feel impossible. Maybe you’ve been deeply wounded by someone, or the rift in the relationship is so long-standing that reconciliation seems out of reach. Today on Truth for Life, we’ll learn why we shouldn’t give up trying to forgive or seeking forgiveness from others. Alistair Begg is teaching from Genesis chapter 45.

Alistair Begg: The kingdom of heaven, he says, is like a king who wanted to settle accounts. And then you have the story right there before you. A guy who owes an incalculable debt is set free. And then he goes out and finds a friend of his who owes him a few dollars, and he says, "Hey, give me the money."

The chap says, "I can't repay you," so he starts to choke him. And then deciding it wouldn't be a good idea to choke him, presumably because he'd never get the money, he has him thrown in the jail until he can wait for his money. Despite the fact that he had been forgiven an incalculable debt, he's going to choke somebody to death for a few bucks.

The lesson here, the primary lesson is simply this. That is in Matthew 18, as an explanatory statement on Genesis 45. The forgiven sinner, prompted by gratitude, must always and in every case do everything in their power to forgive whoever has offended against them and must do all in their power to bring about complete reconciliation.

Now in seeking to unpack that principle or that lesson, there are, if you like, subsidiary lessons which are part and parcel of it. There are seven of them, and I want to give them to you. This would be a good time to take notes. Number one, we are all God's debtors. Number one, we are all God's debtors. You want a verse beside that, put Romans 3:23: "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." You want a unifying truth about everyone in this building this morning, here it is: We are all debtors to God.

We have all failed to make the pass mark. We have all missed the mark in terms of the target of his righteousness. And we have all overstepped the boundaries of his moral law. If you doubt that, take the Ten Commandments and read them through and see if you can get past number one without having to acknowledge that you fouled that up. That's the first thing.

Secondly, none of us is able to pay either our own or our brother's debt. That's what Paul is saying in Romans chapter 3 and in verse 20: "No one will be declared righteous in God's sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin." That's why you see moralism doesn't work. That's where the idea of external religion absolutely kills people because they think that by doing these things we will be justified in God's sight, and the fact of the matter is there is nothing that any of us can do to pay the debt.

Thirdly, by means of Christ's atoning sacrifice, the debt has been paid for all who believe in him. See how you have the bad news first and then the good news? Bad news, we're all in debt to God. Worse news, there is no way we can get ourselves out of it. Good news, someone has done something on our behalf so as to make possible a radical transformation in our circumstances.

Romans chapter 3 and verse 24: "We are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came through Christ Jesus." What was happening when Jesus, a sinless man, died upon the cross? Why would a sinless man die upon the cross? People sentimentalize the gospel in the Easter story. They watch films, Zeffirelli's film of Jesus, and it even makes them weep. They weep in their family room, but they're no closer to repentance and faith than ever they were before they watched the movie because it goes something like this: "Oh, look at what those horrible people did to that nice Jesus. Oh, I feel so sorry for Jesus. He was such a nice person."

And then, since I feel so sorry for Jesus, maybe I should do something for Jesus. And since he has a church, maybe I should go to church. And then maybe if I go to his church, Jesus will see me and then he'll be happy that I'm at church, and then he'll take me finally to his eternal church. So, driven by sentimentalism, we respond in moralism and we hope to end up in eternity in his church. It's never going to happen. Because the message of what Jesus was doing upon the cross was not in order to make us feel sorry for him, but he was bearing my debt.

See, that's when the lights go on. I am so in debt to God. Every day I live my life, it gets worse, says the sinner. I can't pay a dime back for drawing down another ten bucks. Every time I pay something on it, I draw down on it immediately again, and I am being buried under the weight of it. Oh, how am I going to get out of this? He himself, who had no sin, was made sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God in him. This is the gospel.

So what do you have to do? You have to accept it. You have to believe it. You have to trust unreservedly in it. You have to come to God and say, "I'm a bankrupt. I am in debt to you on account of my casual indifference, and my moral rebellion, and my pride, and my mouth, and my hands, and my feet are frankly filthy before your holiness."

And like Lady Macbeth, all the perfumes of Arabia cannot get out these damned spots. So I, foul, to the fountain fly. Wash me, Jesus, or I'm a dead man. I'm a dead woman. Because I can't go into eternity with all of this burden of debt on my back.

That is what we need to be telling our friends. Fourthly, only then can we be certain that our debts are canceled if we ourselves cancel the debts of those who are indebted to us. Now, I'm not talking money here. Only can we experience assurance of forgiveness if we are eager to forgive the sins committed against us. Now, don't get this the wrong way round. We recited together the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors."

If you took an average group of people and interviewed them concerning this, most would say that what this means is if we forgive other people's debts, God will forgive our debt. Totally the wrong way round. It is in our forgiveness of other people's sins against us that we reveal the fact that we have been forgiven. And that's the message of Matthew 18. This guy had never understood forgiveness; otherwise, he would have never tried to choke the life out of the young chap who owed him the cash.

And when you and I go out of church and into life and with our wives, or our brothers, or our sisters, or our employees, or the person who didn't return our car to us on time, or whatever the offense might be, and we begin to hold that as a grumbling source of resentment, in direct contrast to the illustration of Joseph, we call in question whether we have ever understood the doctrine of the forgiveness of our sins by the shed blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now, fifthly, it therefore follows that it shouldn't be too difficult for those who have been forgiven to forgive in turn, for what we owe God is infinitely more than what men owe us. It's a fundamental principle. If I live my life thinking I'm really quite a good guy, or I'm a really quite a nice lady, and that God frankly should be gratified at the prospect of having me in his group, and that there really is nothing very offensive about me, after all, my fingernails are clean, my cuffs are pressed, I keep my office tidy, I give to the United Way, and I'm a generally straight-up member of the community, if that's my perception of myself and I've never understood myself to be a bankrupt, then I will be very able to hold all kinds of grudges against everybody.

But if I know myself to be a wretched sinner before God... see, that's why this whole self-esteem thing is working against the message of the gospel. Because the whole prevailing emphasis of our culture is to tell people that the thing that's wrong with them is that they feel bad about themselves, and if they would feel better about themselves, then they would be cured of everything from adultery to pre-juvenile delinquency, anything if you just feel good about yourselves.

When, in point of fact, what the Bible says is you'll never feel good about yourself until you learn first to feel bad about yourself. When you realize how bad things really are, then you'll learn how to feel really good. And it won't be so much about yourself, but it will be about the one who forgave you that great debt so that you, in turn, can be a debt-forgiver to others all around you. Anytime I harbor an animosity against you as an individual, against my brother or my sister, it is because I have diminished the sense of debt that I owe to the living God.

That's why, number six, the unforgiving person is destined for everlasting punishment. Think that out. Because it is only the forgiving person who gives evidence of having been forgiven. And since it is only those who have been forgiven who will live in heaven with Jesus, then if I am unforgiving, I reveal myself as unforgiven and therefore I am destined to dwell in a Christless eternity.

And seventhly, when someone asks who should take the step in reconciliation, should it be the offender or the offended, the answer is both. Our forgiveness of others doesn't earn us the right to be forgiven. What it means is that God forgives the truly penitent, and one of the chief evidences of the fact that I am truly penitent is that I have a forgiving spirit towards others. Right. One or two words of application.

One question to be answered by you alone as if there were no one else in this building right now: Have I ever come to God in response to the wonder of his invitation, "Come close to me," and acknowledged the enormity of my sin? Have I ever come to God in response to the wonder of his invitation like Joseph's, "Come close to me," and acknowledged the enormity of my sin?

Or am I like the rich young ruler in Luke 19, who ran up to Jesus? "Good Master, what must I do to have eternal life?" Zealous, interested, asking all the right questions. Read the story for yourself when you go home, and it says and the man went away sorrowful because he had great possessions. What's the problem? It's what Jesus said: It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

Why? Because rich men tend to buy their way into everywhere, tend to rely upon what they have and what they've been able to amass, and they flat out aren't going to take it from some Galilean carpenter that the only way they can get where they want to go is to get down on their knees and acknowledge that there is no way to get where they want to go. And as it was in the first century, so it is in the 20th century. That's why it's a hard group to preach to, a group like this. This is all white-collar sin in here, you see. The masters of deception, even at the level of religious hypocrisy.

But God and you know your hearts. I ask you again: Have you ever come to God in response to his acknowledgment, "Come close to me," and said, "Lord God, I am a bankrupt before you. I may have a very good job, I may have a very nice home, I may be kind to my kids and generous to my grandchildren, I may have trust funds for them, but I've got to acknowledge the fact I never faced it before. I am totally in your debt and I cannot get out. And I ask you on the basis of the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive my indebtedness and to credit my account with all of the righteousness of Jesus Christ." Have you?

If you haven't, we'd sure love to help you. But you don't need to go anywhere, you don't need to say any special prayer, you don't need to stand up, walk up, or wave your hands. All you need to do is where you're seated in your heart say, "God Almighty, this guy knows me. But more than that, you know me. Save me." And then you just tell somebody afterwards. For in your heart you believe and with your mouth you confess and you're saved. That's Romans 10:9.

What, you mean you don't have to sign up, join up, show up? No, none of that. You just believe, you just trust. What do you think the thief on the cross did? What did he sign up for? He wasn't getting signed up for potlucks or any kind of lucks. It was, "Hey, Lord, will you remember me when you come into your kingdom?" Jesus said, "You flat out got it, buddy. Today you'll be with me in paradise." And there he was. I love it, and so should you.

Question number two: If we have come and acknowledged our debt towards God, are we then taking seriously the challenge of this instruction? Are we prepared to be involved in this kind of revolution even though our contemporary culture is totally obsessed with revenge? What is 2 Timothy 3 says? It says in the end times, men will be lovers of themselves and they will be devoid of natural affection. But not the Christians. We're the revolutionary party. We're supposed to be.

We're not supposed to be known by a way of dressing. We're not supposed to be known by a kind of singing. We're not supposed to be known by a structure of seating. We're not supposed to be known by a kind of building. We're not supposed to be known by a way of talking. "By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, that you love one another." And when we love one another, we must forgive one another.

And forgiveness is the classic illustration of genuine love. That is what breaks the heart of a teenager. It is not the beating that comes from a father; it is the compassion, it is the tears, it is the tenderness that breaks a child's heart. I've been there. I've had my heart broken. I had my bottom whacked when I was younger. Spare the rod and spoil the child. But I had my heart broken in my teens by the tenderness of a father's forgiveness.

So what are we going to do about it? We're not going to become hypocritical pretenders. We're not going to do all this kissing and hugging stuff that is superficial. Forget that baloney. I am so tired of that jazz. I'll take a genuine kiss anytime from my kids and old ladies. But this... pleasant words and skin-deep smiles are not the same as forgiveness. Pleasant words and skin-deep smiles are not forgiveness.

Genuine smiles and real words accompany genuine forgiveness, but conservative evangelicalism is fantastic at using all the right phraseology, smiling at the right time and doing all the buzzwords, and it's not the same. I can tell from here to kingdom come when someone's giving me that line, and I know you can too. It needs to be from our hearts. Genuine, soul-searching, gut-wrenching, experiential forgiveness that doesn't keep dragging up the records of wrongs done against us.

If you, O Lord, Psalm 130, kept a record of our sins, who would stand? None of us. So then would we keep a record against our wives, our husbands, our brothers, sisters, employers, and employees? In seeking to decide whether confession of sin is to be public or private, there are certain biblical principles to be understood and applied.

Some zealous believers, in their anxiety to be open and honest, go too far in this matter. To say "I'm sorry I was rude to you" or "I'm sorry I showed off in front of you" is right. But not "I'm afraid I've had jealous thoughts about you all day." Have you had this? People come up to you and say, "I just want to confess to you that I've had jealous thoughts about you for six months." Uh-huh. Now, what are you trying to do in saying that? Or "I want you to know that I have been lusting after you." Uh-huh.

What is taking place here? You see, this kind of Tommyrot is not helpful. It is embarrassing and may even lead to the very sins that the person is apparently confessing. Such a confession doesn't help; it only embarrasses. If the sin remains secret in the mind and does not erupt into words or deeds, it must be confessed to God alone.

The rule is always that secret sins must be confessed secretly to God, and private sins must be confessed privately to the injured party. But we need to remember that men do not share the omniscience of God. They hear our words and see our works; they cannot read our hidden thoughts. It is therefore social sins of word and deed which we must confess to our fellow men and women, not the sinful thoughts we may have harbored about them.

The sinful thoughts that I have in my heart towards somebody else, they're my problem. They're not the other person's problem. And that's a problem between me and God; it's not a problem between them and me. Now, if I'd said something rude and abusive and unkind in a public forum, then that is between the two of us. That becomes social. That is something that was done publicly and needs to be responded to properly.

But goodness gracious, folks, if we're going to start taking everything that went through our minds in the last seven days about anybody and going to go and find them to confess all this stuff that we've been thinking about them, we're going to have to start the services about 3:00 in the morning with confessions, run that through to about 9:00, stop for a little bit of worship, and then start it up again around 10:30 so that we can deal with Wednesday through Saturday.

The issue is essentially this: Forgiveness is not skin-deep. It is a heart-changing experience first of God in Christ and then of us to one another. We are a community not of the perfect but of the imperfect. We're a community of sinners-saints simultaneously. Therefore, there is need for forgiveness. Let us not fail to do what we should, let us not be superficial, but let us not do what we shouldn't because I have a sneaking suspicion that some confessions of sins are not actually confessions of sins; they're simply a way to let the person know so that we might harm them by our words, having ourselves been harmed by our thoughts.

Bob Lepine: You’re listening to Truth for Life with Alistair Begg. You know, as we learned today, when we realized the extent of our own sin, how much we’ve been forgiven by God, it becomes easier for us to forgive those who have sinned against us. That’s why our mission at Truth for Life is to teach the gospel clearly in a way that makes it easy to apply to our lives. Our hope is that you in turn will tell others about Jesus and the good news of the gospel, and we’re happy to provide resources to help you do that.

One of the items you’ll find particularly helpful is a new gospel tract released last year from Alistair. It’s titled Ever Wonder Why Your World Feels Broken? This tract is designed for you to give to those who are unfamiliar with God’s plan of salvation, those who have yet to meet Jesus. And in this little booklet, Alistair explains the overarching story of the gospel in a simple, easy-to-understand way.

Now, we have priced these tracts at our cost of five for a dollar. You can get a pack of 25 for just $5. You can purchase as many as you need. Go to our website truthforlife.org/tract or you can call us at 888-588-7884.

And if you add a donation when you check out, be sure to ask for Alistair’s book, The Hand of God: Finding His Care in All Circumstances. The book is our way of saying thanks for your support. I'm Bob Lepine. Thanks for joining us today. As important as our physical health is, we will learn tomorrow why our spiritual health should be our greatest concern. The Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life, where the learning is for living.