The Official Average Boy Podcast

Guest (Female): In an age of screens and social media, looking through a physical magazine feels extra fancy. But so many magazines for teen girls are iffy, to say the least. That's why I subscribe to Brio Magazine from Focus on the Family. It's full of fashion and beauty tips, inspiring stories, and articles on things like body image and spiritual growth, all from a biblical worldview. Subscribe to Brio at focusonthefamily.com/magazinesforkids. That's focusonthefamily.com/magazinesforkids.

Jesse: Welcome to episode 129 of the official Average Boy Podcast. I'm Jesse from Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine.

Bob Smiley: And I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, aka the blank, babbling, baffled, basically briefly burned out boy of boredom.

Jesse: Wait. Burned out boy of boredom? AB, just two episodes ago, you gave our listeners an entire list of activities they could do to keep from getting bored. What happened to that?

Bob Smiley: Really? I did? Well, I haven't really listened to that episode yet.

Jesse: You don't have to have listened to it because you were the one who said it. Let's just move on. Don't you have a story for us today?

Bob Smiley: No, actually, I don't, Jesse. Nothing strange or exciting has happened to me recently. My brother and I were still mowing lawns, but we already talked about that. We actually tried to start a hair styling business, but that didn't last very long.

Jesse: A hair styling business?

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah. While we were out mowing lawns, we thought we could stop by some houses and style people's hair.

Jesse: That sounds odd, but okay. And it didn't work out?

Bob Smiley: Not at all. People didn't like sitting on their front porch in front of our leaf blower, and they claimed it dried out their eyes. As I'm saying that, maybe we should have offered complimentary sunglasses. Anyway, that didn't work, and my water ski school was a total bust.

Jesse: Water ski school? I thought you knew how to water ski.

Bob Smiley: Come on, Jesse, I'm great at water skiing. And I have the clear nasal passages to prove it. Both Billy and I are super good at water skiing, so that's why we decided to start a water ski school where we teach people how to water ski.

Jesse: So you and Billy were the teachers. But don't you need an adult to drive the boat? Wait, you said that didn't go well either.

Bob Smiley: No, not at all. Nobody signed up for our ski school.

Jesse: Even though I think I know the answer, history has taught me to ask you. Why do you think no one signed up?

Bob Smiley: I don't know. I guess maybe because to take our course, you had to provide your own boat and skis, and you had to give Billy and me a ride to the lake.

Jesse: That's exactly what I was expecting. So basically, you wanted people to pay to take you and Billy water skiing.

Bob Smiley: We did offer a discount if you provided us lunch.

Jesse: Well, it doesn't sound like your life has really been that dull lately.

Bob Smiley: I guess. But I like to come into our show with more than a fifth-place story.

Jesse: Come on, AB, I thought you were over that.

Bob Smiley: Over what?

Jesse: Well played.

Bob Smiley: And not only do I like to come in here with a story, I like to give our listeners some encouragement, but nothing really cool has happened lately. Sarah's back from her mission trip, but her family's visiting relatives. Billy is playing summer baseball. Mr. Povedo put new locks on his house. So the past two weeks have been really boring.

Jesse: How was Sarah's missions trip?

Bob Smiley: Oh, she said it was amazing. She got to tell so many people about Jesus. They built a school for kids, and she said she enjoyed the break from having to listen to someone talk all the time. I'm assuming she means Billy.

Jesse: I'm sure that's who she was referring to. But that reminds me of a story I don't think you've shared on here before.

Bob Smiley: Was that the time I got my hair caught in the eggbeater? Wow, I never should have looked that deeply into the cookie dough bowl while the beaters were running like that.

Jesse: Now you have two stories that you haven't shared with everyone. No, I was talking about that first missions trip that you ever went on.

Bob Smiley: Oh, to Chicago.

Jesse: Yes, the Windy City, the City of Big Shoulders. I remember that being a great story.

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah, it was a great experience. But the City of Big Shoulders? The only person I remember with broad shoulders was the guy behind me at the airport counter when we flew to Chicago. Man, I wish he was part of our trip because even though there were only 12 of us kids and four brave adults, Jesse, we had about 4,000 pounds of luggage.

Jesse: AB, that sounds like a huge exaggeration.

Bob Smiley: Well, okay, maybe his shoulders weren't that broad, but I'm pretty sure the luggage guess was accurate. But that was such a great trip. I arrived at the airport with a gleam in my eye, dedication in my heart, and one backpack full of clothes. However, the girls on the trip must have thought we were going to Chicago for Fashion Week because they packed all kinds of trunks and suitcases.

Jesse: That reminds me of another big reason you wanted to go. Can you tell everyone else what that was?

Bob Smiley: Okay, fine. I also wanted to go because Tracy Longburger was going. Tracy was awesome. She was the kind of girl who's fun to hang out with. You know, the kind of girl that's not all weird.

Jesse: Just so we don't get a bunch of negative emails from our female listeners, can you be more specific? Or maybe better yet, just completely change what you just said.

Bob Smiley: Tracy wasn't all emotional and weird about everything.

Jesse: That's not better. And I think you actually made it worse. And it's sort of my fault because I knew I shouldn't have asked for more clarification.

Bob Smiley: Come on, Jesse, it's not all your fault. But you know what I mean. Some boys don't like to hang out with girls at all. They think they're gross, but I'm not like that. Sarah and Everly are two of my best friends.

Some girls, though, they're just too girly for me. I like friends who don't mind tromping through the creek or climbing trees, or helping me get out of the mud when I get stuck in the creek or help me get out of a tree on the off chance that I might climb too high.

Jesse: I think those are all things Sarah and Everly have done for you.

Bob Smiley: Right. So no offense to all the girly girls out there, but Tracy was the first girl that I met who was actually fun to hang out with. So I wanted to be friends with her, and she was going on that mission trip, so I wanted to go. Plus, Tracy really wanted me to go as well.

Jesse: How do you know that she wanted you to go?

Bob Smiley: Oh, I knew because of what she said.

Jesse: I can't wait to hear this, but what did she say?

Bob Smiley: Tracy said, "You're not going, are you? Please tell me you're not going."

Jesse: And that made you think that she wanted you to go? It doesn't sound that way. It sounds like she didn't want you to go.

Bob Smiley: Right, but I'd been told that girls pretend not to like you if they really do like you. So Tracy must have really liked me because she was totally acting like she didn't like me. You get it?

Jesse: Not really. But let's move on. So that's how you ended up going on the missions trip. Now tell everyone how it went.

Bob Smiley: Well, I felt like I was really ready. I felt like God was urging me to step out in faith, but I didn't realize there'd be so many obstacles and lots of trick questions.

Jesse: Oh, yeah, I forgot about the trouble you had at the airport. You got to meet that one guy. Do you remember his name?

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah, I do. He was called Mr. Security Guard. And wow, he was not a happy guarder. But Jesse, it was the first time I ever flew anywhere, so I didn't know all the rules.

Jesse: What rules are you talking about?

Bob Smiley: So when I got to the airport counter, the lady asked me, "Has anyone unknown to you asked you to carry anything on the plane?"

Jesse: That sounds normal, really. You're only supposed to carry your own stuff on a plane, not something that a random person just hands to you.

Bob Smiley: Right. And I don't like carrying my own bags, much less someone else's stuff. So when she asked me that, I was about to say no, I didn't know we could do that. Can I ask someone to carry my stuff on the plane?

Jesse, just four people behind me in line was that dude I mentioned earlier. He looked like he could have carried everyone's stuff on the plane. I mean, this guy was huge. He probably couldn't shake his head no because his shoulder meat wouldn't let him turn his head side to side. He was giant. This guy must have gotten his mail at the gym because that's where he lives. I mean, this guy was huge. He was so broad—

Jesse: AB, I think we're getting off track here.

Bob Smiley: Oh, okay. I mean, you're the one who brought up the big shoulder guy. But anyway, she asked me if anyone unknown to me has given me anything to carry on the plane. And I was about to say no, but then I remembered this was a missions trip. We were out there to help people, so I decided to change my attitude.

Jesse: So what did you say?

Bob Smiley: I said, "No one has asked me yet, but I'm willing to help anyway I can." Jesse, I thought that was a great missions trip answer, but it was not the answer the check-in lady was expecting.

Jesse: I'm sure.

Bob Smiley: Yeah. This lady looked at me like I'd said something really awful. I mean, something really bad. Something like, "Here's a free cat," or, "You can have extra broccoli with your meal." Really bad.

Jesse: And now we've offended cat owners and vegetarians, too. Bob, you've got a lot of people to apologize to before they send in a complaint.

Bob Smiley: Oh, I wouldn't worry about our vegan vegetable-loving listeners. I mean, if you think about it, they probably don't have enough strength to type out a complaint letter.

Jesse: Oh, AB, come on.

Bob Smiley: Jesse, you know I'm just joking. I'm just joking, everyone. Vegetables are cool and cats are totally—anyway, this lady looked at me real stern-like.

Jesse: AB, we got off track there for a second, so let's get back to what you said at the flight check-in line, because they take security very seriously at airports.

Bob Smiley: Nice segue, Jesse, because that's exactly when I met Mr. Security Guard. Hey, hang on. I just realized you haven't thrown any Jesse jokes in today. Wow, thanks, buddy.

Jesse: Well, so far, all we've talked about on this episode is the airport, and I don't want to get that disease where you tell airport jokes all the time.

Bob Smiley: Wait, telling airport jokes is a disease?

Jesse: Yes, and sadly it's terminal. Because airports have terminals with the gates and stuff.

Bob Smiley: Wow, I flew right into that one. Okay, let me just make a note here to not bring it up when I notice that you're not telling Jesse jokes. Okay, good.

Jesse: I heard you laugh.

Bob Smiley: Well, I don't know, I was just winging it.

Jesse: I see what you did there—winging it about my airport joke. Pretty good add-on, even though it seemed kind of flighty. All right, let's get back to your story. So you flew to Chicago.

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah, we did. Our mission trip was in downtown Chicago. You know, Chi-town, the Big Apple, the Sister of Brotherly Love.

Jesse: AB? I went to college in Chicago and it's definitely not called the Big Apple. That's New York City. And second of all, the Sister of Brotherly Love? That isn't even a thing. I think you're thinking about Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Love.

Bob Smiley: Oh. Well, I really thought we went to Chicago, but I guess it could have been New York or Philadelphia. You know, when you live in the country like me, every big city looks the same.

Jesse: Well, if you were near a Great Lake, then it was Chicago.

Bob Smiley: Oh, then we were definitely in Chicago, because that lake was great. We didn't get to swim in it, though. We were there to help an inner-city church build a recreation center.

Jesse: I remember this. You guys were trying to make a safe place for children to play and learn about Jesus. You were working with a local church up there, I think.

Bob Smiley: Yeah, we were. Our group was building the playground. It was perfect because Tracy and I got assigned to work on the swing set together. Oh, man, she was so happy. Even though, she was still playing that game where she acted like I annoyed her.

Jesse: Well, what makes you think that?

Bob Smiley: Mostly because she kept saying, "You're so annoying." But I knew what she really meant.

Jesse: Yeah, I'm sure you do. So how did the actual construction go?

Bob Smiley: Oh, it was a blast. And we even had a crowd watching us. A group of neighborhood kids showed up to watch us build the playground. Actually, some of them were yelling at us to work faster because they were super excited to swing and slide.

Jesse: That makes sense. Think about growing up where you don't have a playground or any place to play. Then someone shows up to build one; you'd want them to hurry up, wouldn't you?

Bob Smiley: Totally. I thought about even planting a tree for them so they could build a tree house, but that would have taken even longer for the tree to grow big enough. Can you imagine how long they'd have to stand around that tree yelling, "Grow faster, grow faster!"

Jesse: Well, yeah, and that totally wouldn't work. But I do think it's great that you wanted to give more. It reminds me of 1 John chapter 3, verse 17 and 18, where it says:

"If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth."

Bob Smiley: Oh, that's so good. And we were doing that. We were showing love to those kids with our actions. And we tried sharing truth in words, but they may not have heard us over all that wind.

Jesse: Well, it's called the Windy City for a reason. But getting back to that Bible verse, if we're blessed, we should try to bless others. And a mission trip is a great way to serve and honor others. So you guys were able to finish the playground in time?

Bob Smiley: Come on, Jesse, you know I'm super great with time. That's why I always end my podcasts on time.

Jesse: Our podcast. So finish your story before we run out of time.

Bob Smiley: On it. So as I was finishing up the swing set, I saw a five-year-old girl standing at the edge of the group of kids, and Jesse, she was crying. Not like super sobbing, but just teary-eyed, so I went over there to check on her.

Jesse: Sorry to interrupt, AB, but that's another thing that God wants us to do—to notice others if they're sad and try to cheer them up.

Bob Smiley: Well, just give away the ending of my story, Jesse.

Jesse: Okay, yeah, sorry, Bob, keep going.

Bob Smiley: So I saw that she was sad, and I went over to cheer her up. I said to her, "Uh, please stop crying. I'll put my shirt back on." That made her laugh. Actually, a little too much. But then she said, "I'm crying because my two older brothers just told me that they weren't going to let me play on the playground when it opens."

Jesse: I never understand that when siblings are mean to each other. After all, they're family, and family is forever. So what did you do?

Bob Smiley: Well, I said, "Well, how would you like to play on it right now?" You know, before we opened it up. I told her I needed an official swing tester. Jesse, her eyes totally lit up and her face broke out in a huge grin.

Jesse: She must have been so excited.

Bob Smiley: She was, especially when she got to walk past her two mean old brothers as they watched her get on the new swing set and start swinging. We even held everyone back until she had time to test out each slide and each swing on the new playground. Jesse, it was awesome.

Jesse: And did Tracy see what a great thing you did?

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah, she did. Tracy even came up to me and said, "That was a really cool thing you did there." So I said, "Thanks, you want to be friends and hang out all the time?" And she said, "It wasn't that cool."

Jesse: Oh, AB, I'm so sorry.

Bob Smiley: Why? I mean, Tracy was still playing the game.

Jesse: Oh, yeah, the game. Well, it sounds like you went on that missions trip to make a friend and make a difference for God, and you ended up doing exactly that.

Bob Smiley: Well said. And speaking of well said, you know how I love accents, right, Jesse? Accents are so cool. I wish Texas had an accent, but I'll tell you what, we just talk normal. Anyway, we got a voicemail from a kid named David in Northern Ireland, and his accent is so cool. Check this out.

David: Hey, B. I'm David and I'm from Northern Ireland. I love reading your books and listening to your podcast. I've got a question and a joke. Question: Would you rather read the New Testament or the Old Testament? Joke: What do you call a Mandalorian that likes Indian food? A Nandalorian. Bye!

Bob Smiley: I've probably listened to this about 50 times. And I'm sure his joke is funny, but I don't get it. What's a Nandalorian?

Jesse: Well, being a joke master myself, I get it. Naan is a soft, fluffy flatbread from India. And since I love Indian food, I love naan. So he would be a Nandalorian.

Bob Smiley: Oh, okay, I get it now. Well done, David. That's funny and educational.

Jesse: Speaking of educational, let's answer David's question about the Bible because we're just about out of time.

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah, his question. Honestly, that's a tough one. The New Testament has Jesus showing up to save us, but the Old Testament gives us all the cool clues and prophecies about Jesus showing up and what He's going to do. Plus, the Old Testament has the best war stories.

But James in the New Testament is such an amazing short book. Man, James is full of all kinds of answers to life.

Jesse: Bob, we're running out of time.

Bob Smiley: Oh, okay. So I guess my answer is both. I don't think you should just read one. You should read both of them because they go together as one. So yeah, that's my answer. And I want to give a quick shout-out to David for reading my books and listening to my podcast all the way from Northern Ireland, which I think is in the north somewhere.

Jesse: You're actually getting better at geography. And I, too, would like to thank David. But unfortunately, we're out of time, so I won't be able to say, "Thank you, David." I hope you understand, David, that I can't say that.

You're really rubbing off on me, AB. Anyway, we hope that everyone enjoyed today's official Average Boy podcast, a presentation of Focus on the Family. If you haven't heard our other episodes, you can go back and listen to them all at averageboypodcast.com.

And parents, while you're on that website, click on the parents' page to subscribe to Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine. This award-winning magazine features an award-winning and humorous Adventures of Average Boy story every single month.

Bob Smiley: And just below the Clubhouse Magazine sign-up link, parents can also click on the link to buy my devotional books, Devotions for Super Average Kids, Books 1 and 2, or my two books, Average Boy's Above Average Year and Average Boy's Above Average Summer. All four books are filled with lots of laughs, encouragement, and ways to grow closer to God.

Jesse: And speaking of growing closer to God, I agree with AB. Read both the Old Testament and the New Testament. It's hard to pick a favorite because both are filled with amazing truth and stories of miracles. Plus, the whole Bible points to Jesus.

Bob Smiley: Absolutely. Well said, Jesse. All right, well, thanks for listening, everyone. I'm Bob.

Jesse: And I'm Jesse, telling you, don't be average.

Bob Smiley: Be super average. Now let's go get some naan. Yummy!

Guest (Female): Taking a break from screens and social media is so refreshing. I have extra time to hang out with friends, stay active, and work on my hobbies. But when I get that urge to grab my phone, I end up comparing myself to friends and influencers for hours. Ugh.

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Plus, it's all from a biblical worldview, so I never have to worry that my head is being filled with junk—just wholesome, fun content. Check out everything that Brio Magazine offers, including past issues. Just go to focusonthefamily.com/growingfaith. That's focusonthefamily.com/growingfaith.