The Official Average Boy Podcast

Bob Smiley: Welcome to a very special episode of the Official Average Boy Podcast. I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, aka the lost lagging last listener in line and learner at sight.

Jesse: A special episode, huh? Well, we're off to an intriguing start. Also, that's quite a languishing, laudful, long list, little lad.

Bob Smiley: I don't like the little lad part, but I appreciate you running with the L alliteration.

Jesse: Well, it's better than running with scissors, I always say.

Bob Smiley: What? You always say that?

Jesse: Starting today, I do. And this is episode 132. You forgot to mention what episode we're on in your introduction.

Bob Smiley: Oh yeah, I guess I didn't say the number because again, Jesse, this isn't a math podcast. So yeah, I intentionally left that out just to change things up a little bit. Let them guess what number it is, or even better, have to go and do some legwork to find out what number it is.

Jesse: Well, I guess it's not a math podcast or a mystery podcast.

Bob Smiley: Donny says it's a mystery people listen to the podcast, but let's not focus on that negative Nellie. Our podcast is all...

Jesse: Our podcast. And be nice.

Bob Smiley: Okay, my podcast that Jesse is on is all about positivity. So we don't really need to focus on what a certain someone who has teeth that look like he just ate a yellow candle and has to shave right after he shaves... yeah, let's not worry about what he says about our award-winning podcast.

Jesse: Our award-winning podcast. But hang on, AB, what happened to the positivity? It's not very positive to call Donny names like that. It's better to be an example of kindness than to stoop down to a lower level.

Bob Smiley: I know, you're right. Sorry. It's just sometimes he really gets to me. And also your number thing is right as well. This is episode 132. I just forgot to say it. But really, is it that important?

Jesse: Studies show there are certain formats that work to make a successful podcast, and saying the number is one of them. And telling any new listeners who we are is another. For example, welcome everyone. I'm Jesse from Focus on the Family Clubhouse magazine.

Bob Smiley: Oh yeah, you forgot to say that part. But maybe just once we could do an episode where we don't introduce ourselves and let people guess who they're listening to. How about that? That sounds really fun.

Jesse: Well, they've already clicked on the link to listen, so they probably know who we... hang on, are you stalling because you don't want to get into whatever story you came in here to tell?

Bob Smiley: Well, I guess we're out of time. This has been the Official Average Boy Podcast.

Jesse: AB, we have plenty of time here. So what happened?

Bob Smiley: Okay, so this week I learned a pretty important lesson. In fact, I may have a lot...

Jesse: Two words.

Bob Smiley: Hey Jesse, have we explained why we do the "two words" thing when we say "a lot"? I think we should probably spend some time to tell them about it.

Jesse: We have, we've explained that. And you're stalling again.

Bob Smiley: Okay, fine. So I may have a lot of listeners to the show, but it turns out I'm actually not that good at listening myself.

Jesse: Oh, so that's why this is a special episode. You're going to be serious for a change and share something that you've learned.

Bob Smiley: Well, I'm not going to get too serious. I mean, this story does involve a sandwich-stealing dog. But I did learn an important lesson that listening is very important. I actually learned it on the field trip this week.

Jesse: Oh right, your class went to an art museum.

Bob Smiley: We did. At first I was excited, but then the field trip started with my least favorite phrase of all time.

Jesse: I'm afraid to ask, but I feel like I need to in order to continue your story. What's your least favorite phrase?

Bob Smiley: I know you're probably expecting my least favorite phrase to be something silly like, "I need you to keep my cat for a year," or "Would you like to enter a vegetable eating contest?" or even worse, "We had to switch to Donny's dentist, so try not to smile anymore because you'll frighten..."

Jesse: AB, positivity.

Bob Smiley: Okay, sorry again, Jesse. But Donny was really razzing me about our podcast this week. Anyway, my least favorite phrase to hear is, "Alright class, no talking." Jesse, my teacher didn't want us to talk during the entire art tour.

Jesse: Well, Bob, that's understandable. Art needs to be seen to be understood and felt. And it's hard to do that if someone is talking in your ear the entire time.

Bob Smiley: That's another phrase that always sounds so strange to me. Of course you talk into someone's ear. You don't talk into their nostrils. I mean, come on, what if they had a cold? And no one says, "Hey, I got a secret, bring your armpit over here so I can whisper it to you."

I mean, that's a weird saying. There are so many strange sayings like that. Another one is "do some legwork." I know I just used that phrase, but what about the rest of the body? Does the rest of the body get to be lazy and the leg has to do all the work? What's another weird phrase?

Jesse: AB, I know you're stalling again.

Bob Smiley: Oh man. I wish you didn't know me so well. Anyway, our teacher said no talking. But Jesse, if I didn't talk, how would my classmates learn anything?

Jesse: So you thought you could teach your friends about the art you were viewing on the field trip?

Bob Smiley: Absolutely. I mean, come on, you know I'm somewhat of an art expert, mostly because I'm a famous artist myself.

Jesse: A famous artist? Come on, Bob.

Bob Smiley: What? It's true. I have several famous pieces of art hanging up in public places for tons of people to enjoy.

Jesse: Where are they? And how many art pieces is "several"?

Bob Smiley: Well, several can mean two. And I have two drawings prominently displayed on the side of our refrigerator facing the wall at home. And we have people at our house all the time, like every day.

Jesse: Okay, I caught the part about it facing the wall. And I really don't think that makes you an art expert. Besides, didn't you have someone from the museum there to actually tell you about all the works of art?

Bob Smiley: Yeah, we did, but she was covering all the boring facts. I had so many additional fun, interesting info to share that would have made the tour way more enjoyable.

Jesse: Like what?

Bob Smiley: Well, okay, for instance, did you know that Michelangelo was not only a famous painter, but he's also the most famous Ninja Turtle? That's a fact that I read online, but evidently my teacher didn't think that was important to share with my class.

Jesse: I'm guessing because that's not a true fact.

Bob Smiley: Not true? Oh, let me guess, you're a Raphael fan.

Jesse: No, I'm team Michelangelo all the way, especially because Townsend Coleman was the voice of Michelangelo in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja cartoons. And you know, Townsend has also been the voice of Jason Whittaker in Adventures in Odyssey for 30 years.

Bob Smiley: You're doing it again, Jesse. This isn't a math podcast and it's not the Adventures in Odyssey podcast either. So I don't want to talk about them again, at least not until they put me in their movie.

Jesse: You mean the movie coming out early 2027?

Bob Smiley: That's the one. Anyway, I tried sharing that interesting little tidbit and, oh, I got a big old "shhh." Sarah can be really annoying sometimes.

Jesse: Okay, so it was Sarah was the one who was shushing you?

Bob Smiley: Yeah. I mean, obviously she didn't want the other kids to learn anything super cool.

Jesse: Or maybe she was trying to listen to the tour director and actually learn some useful information.

Bob Smiley: Jesse, I had useful information. For instance, did you know that the first paintbrushes were made out of hog and squirrel hair?

Jesse: Actually, I did know that.

Bob Smiley: And that's interesting, right? I mean, can you imagine how hard it was to paint something while trying to hold onto the end of a squealing pig? They probably had to balance the swine on their shoulder. And squirrels, they can be really mean, you know. I don't know how artists back then ever got any painting done.

Jesse: Okay, please tell me you didn't share that with your class.

Bob Smiley: Well, I tried, but I don't think anyone heard me over all that shushing that Sarah was doing.

Jesse: You know, I'm just now realizing that I'm somewhat of an artist myself. In fact, I draw something every night.

Bob Smiley: What? Really? You draw something every night?

Jesse: Yep. Before I go to bed, I draw the curtains. Anyway, the main reason I was excited to be on this field trip was because I wanted to see Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper, or what I call the big picture. Jesse, are you familiar with it?

Jesse: I am. But I don't think it's in Texas... actually, please continue.

Bob Smiley: Well, it's a painting of Jesus eating with his disciples. It is so cool. See, the big picture, just like in life, seeing the big picture can really help us focus on what's actually important. I know things can sometimes feel like they're not going right or maybe you're just having a bad day.

Well, zooming out and looking at the big picture of life can really help you realize what's actually important. And looking at Leonardo's big picture of Jesus with his disciples, that always reminds me what is the most important thing in life. The most important thing is to live like Jesus and tell as many people about him as you can.

Also, it's important to surround yourself with good friends just like Jesus did. So that painting, it's always been an inspiration for me. And Jesse, I was about to see it in person.

Jesse: Wow, what you just said is really inspirational, but I still don't think you were going to see the painting... actually, never mind.

Bob Smiley: Plus, you know what? That painting makes a strong argument that everyone should eat on one side of the table. I keep suggesting that for our big Thanksgiving meals, but Dad never goes for it. He says there's not enough room, even though it would make the family photos easier.

Jesse: That's true. And in the painting, they are all on that one side.

Bob Smiley: Anyway, the first painting we saw was by an artist named Monet. It's actually spelled M-O-N-E-T, so it really should be pronounced "Monet," but the French, the French are super weird. They have a different way of saying everything.

Jesse: Yeah, they do. That's actually called having a different language.

Bob Smiley: Well, tomato, tomahto. But Jesse, do you know about the artist Monet?

Jesse: Yeah, I quite like Claude's paintings.

Bob Smiley: Me too. Jesse, it's not nice to call him a clod. I thought you'd know that.

Jesse: No, his first name is Claude. And he's really talented. I went to college outside of Chicago, so I got to see a bunch of Claude Monet's paintings at the Art Institute of Chicago.

Bob Smiley: Well, seeing his art that day made me realize what a great artist I am too. I mean, I'm no Claude, but I'm an art genius.

Jesse: Hang on, seeing a Monet painting made you think, wait, confirmed that you were a great artist? I'm confused.

Bob Smiley: Well, okay, for those who don't know, Monet's paintings look really good from far away, but when you get up close, they look super blurry. But he's crazy famous for that kind of stuff. Jesse, I have a ton of photos that I took that are exactly like that.

Jesse: Yeah, I'm still confused.

Bob Smiley: Well, last month I accidentally got butter on my mom's phone. If Mom didn't want butter on her phone, she shouldn't leave it on the breakfast table. Anyway, I took a ton of blurry photos of Billy and I down by the creek catching frogs. I didn't know there was butter smeared on the camera part.

But if you looked at those pictures from far away, like really far, like from another state or somewhere like Jupiter, you could tell what the pictures are. But if you get close up, like say in the same room, the pictures look very blurry. So, turns out I'm an art genius. Hey, maybe I'm also part French.

Jesse: Well, you are something.

Bob Smiley: Anyway, Sarah and my teacher didn't appreciate me sharing that story while we were looking at the Monet. In fact, I got double shushed. And the tour guide asked me to get my nose away from the Monet painting.

Jesse: Wait, you put your nose on it?

Bob Smiley: Well, not right on it, but I was really close. Jesse, the painting kept getting more and more blurry the closer I got, so I wanted to see how blurry it would go. Okay, well, the producer guy wants us to hurry this up. Anyway, we then rounded the corner and I saw a girl and a boy chasing a dog that had a sandwich in its mouth.

Jesse: There it is. I was waiting for the sandwich-stealing dog to come back into your story.

Bob Smiley: Well, the dog has appeared. Oh, and I should point out it was a painting. It wasn't like a real dog and kids, although that would have been really cool.

Jesse: And I think I know that this painting is called The Lost Supper because the dog stole the sandwich.

Bob Smiley: That's exactly right. Wow, Jesse, you really know your art. Anyway, the tour guide said, and I quote, "This is our final painting today. It's called The Lost Supper." Jesse, I couldn't have been more shocked if my parents painted my room pink again.

Jesse: Nice callback.

Bob Smiley: I said, "The Lost Supper?" I thought we were going to see The Last Supper. And that, of course, is when Sarah decided it was okay to break the no-talking rule.

Jesse: And I think I know what she was going to say.

Bob Smiley: She said The Last Supper is in Italy.

Jesse: I was trying not to ruin your story, but I kind of knew that. The Last Supper is painted directly on a wall in Milan, Italy, so it can't be moved to different museums.

Bob Smiley: Well, I know that now. But I was so disappointed. However, I quickly made a mental note to one day visit Italy. I mean, come on, I love naan, so I'm already a fan of their food.

Jesse: Yeah, I think we went over this already, but naan is from India and not Italian.

Bob Smiley: Well, pizza, pizzeer. Anyway, that's when I learned that listening is very important. If I'd been listening instead of trying to catch that fly, I might have heard "lost" instead of "last." So you see, listening is super important. That's what I learned and that's what I wanted to pass on to our listeners today.

Jesse: You were right about one thing, this was a special episode. I think you made a really good point for our listeners, because listening is very important.

Bob Smiley: Yeah, thanks. But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I'm preaching to the choir because our listeners are obviously good at listening because they listen to us all the time.

Jesse: Which is why I appreciate you giving them good advice. We can also find that advice in one of your favorite books of the Bible. In James 1:19 it says, "Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger." And listening is very important and it says so right there in God's word, right, AB?

Bob Smiley: Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening. Producer guy's pointing at his watch again. Look at his face.

Jesse: Okay, well, let's look at one listener comment before we have to leave. I like this one from Timothy. Timothy writes, "Dear Average Boy, I have a terrible habit of not completing my homework because I get distracted by little things like my dog. How can I stop this habit? And by the way, I think Average Boy should have a joke folder."

Bob Smiley: That's a great comment. Thanks, Timothy, for listening and writing in. But I'll be honest, I don't need a joke folder. I am a joke folder. You see, I'm just naturally funny all the time, where some people, they're not, they have to bring a folder with them to a studio.

Jesse: Okay, Bob, I agree that you don't need a joke folder, but I'm keeping mine. And what about the getting distracted part? Any advice for Timothy?

Bob Smiley: Oh yeah, that's a good question and this is going to be surprising to everyone, but I too sometimes struggle with getting distracted. I know I hide it well, but it does happen, especially when it comes to schoolwork. So what I do is I try to remove all the distractions and set some rules for myself before I sit down.

Jesse: This is a surprisingly good answer. Please elaborate.

Bob Smiley: Okay, so I tell myself I can't do anything else until I complete my homework. Then I go into my room, sit at my desk. My desk faces the wall, so that way there's very little things in front of me that might distract me. Then I just go to work.

Knowing that I'm there until I'm done helps keep my mind from wandering, and removing all the distractions before I start helps me stay there. So, I'd put your dog outside, find a desk that faces the wall, and then just take some pride in doing a good job on the task that's in front of you.

Jesse: I'm very impressed, AB. I don't think I could have said it better myself. Having a specific place to do homework like a desk in your room lets your brain know that it's time to get down to business. I used our family's dining room table to do homework when I was growing up, but I would like to add that...

Okay, okay, I got it. And I would like to add that we're at the end of today's Official Average Boy Podcast, a presentation of Focus on the Family. If you haven't heard our other episodes, you can go back and listen to them all at averageboypodcast.com.

And parents, while you're on that website, click on the parents page to subscribe to Focus on the Family Clubhouse magazine. This award-winning magazine features an award-winning and humorous Adventures of Average Boy story every month.

Bob Smiley: And just below the Clubhouse magazine sign-up link, parents can also click on the link to buy my devotion books, Devotions for Super Average Kids, Books 1 and 2, or you can get my two newest books, Average Boy's Above Average Year and Average Boy's Above Average Summer. All four books are filled with lots of laughs and encouragement, and most importantly, ways to grow closer to God.

Jesse: Also, we love hearing from our listeners. So if you want to leave a voicemail or a comment, just click the link in the show notes and ask us a question or leave a comment. But be sure to get your parents' permission because we might use your question or comment on a future episode.

We always appreciate the feedback we get, and don't forget, if you're listening on Spotify, leave a comment, rating, and you can now vote on our show poll. We'll try to have some new ones up there with each episode.

Bob Smiley: Well, thanks for listening, everyone. I'm Bob.

Jesse: And I'm Jesse.

Bob Smiley: Telling you, don't be average, be super average.