The Official Average Boy Podcast

Guest (Female): When I'm taking a break from screens, I make sure I have other activities on hand. My favorite activity is reading an issue of Brio magazine from Focus on the Family. It's perfect for teen girls and full of fun quizzes, tips on fashion and beauty, and articles from a biblical worldview. Check out what Brio has to offer, including past issues, when you visit FocusontheFamily.com/growingfaith. That's FocusontheFamily.com/growingfaith.

Jesse: Welcome to episode 124 of the Official Average Boy Podcast. As always, I'm Jesse from Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine.

Bob Smiley: And as always, but not all the time, I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, aka the—

Jesse: Hold on, AB. You can't always be something but not all the time. I hate to be the editor guy here, but the literal definition of always is at all times and on all occasions.

Bob Smiley: Right, but I'm always Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy. But then sometimes... Okay, I see your point. Let's start over.

Jesse: No, I think we should leave this part in so people can appreciate what I bring to our podcast.

Bob Smiley: Okay, but how about I just tell them what you bring to the podcast? Today, Jesse brought donuts.

Jesse: No, I mean what role I play in keeping you on topic and adding editorial expertise.

Bob Smiley: And today, they were chocolate-covered. Those are my favorite. Thanks, Jesse. Yummy!

Jesse: Okay, let's just get back to whatever you call this thing that we're doing today.

Bob Smiley: I think everyone calls it an award-winning podcast with me, Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, aka the fantastically fun, friendly, famous, fancy farmer of hilarious hopping hares.

Jesse: Hilarious hopping hares? Your hair does stick up quite a bit, but I wouldn't exactly call it hopping.

Bob Smiley: You're going to like this though, because I'm talking about a different kind of hare. It involves wordplay and spelling and stuff, so I knew you were going to like this. Here's the deal. When I say hare, I didn't mean the hair on top of my head that is spelled H-A-I-R. Everyone knows how to spell that word, but I'm talking about a hare like a rabbit spelled H-A-R-E. I even looked it up so I could impress you with that.

Jesse: Nicely done. But I'd be more impressed if you could spell both kinds of hair.

Bob Smiley: It's H-A-I-R, right? For some reason, I got nervous and I blanked for a second.

Jesse: Now I am impressed because that is the proper spelling for that kind of hair. But I'm also curious. When did you start farming hilarious hopping hares?

Bob Smiley: A few days ago in Ag class.

Jesse: With Mr. Clark. I don't think we've heard about him in a long time.

Bob Smiley: That's because I like talking about funny or encouraging stuff. I don't know if you remember, but Mr. Clark isn't exactly either of—

Jesse: AB, be nice.

Bob Smiley: He doesn't exactly be nice all that time. He always, and I do mean the literal meaning always, he always seems like he's in a bad mood.

Jesse: Have you ever asked him why he always seems to be in a bad mood?

Bob Smiley: That's a great question, and yes, I did one time. I don't think he heard me though, because he just pointed at me and he raised his eyebrows.

Jesse: Let me get this straight. You asked him why he always seems to be in a bad mood, and he just pointed at you?

Bob Smiley: That's right. So I thought he couldn't hear me and was just pointing at me so I'd say it louder. But when I did, I guess he forgot something in his back office because he just rolled his eyes and walked back there. But I don't let Mr. Clark's attitude or his forgetfulness get me down because I really love Ag class.

Jesse: For our new listeners, we should let them know that Mr. Clark is your Ag teacher. For those that don't know, can you explain what Ag is?

Bob Smiley: Absolutely. Ag stands for Aggravated Grown-up, and boy, is Mr. Clark an aggravated grown-up.

Jesse: Bob, that's not what Ag stands for. Ag is short for agricultural.

Bob Smiley: Short, like Mr. Clark's fuse for getting upset at things. That's very short. But like I said, I really do like Ag class. We learn about food and farming and all kinds of animals. In fact, yesterday we learned about ants, but I think that was only because Mr. Clark left a sandwich laying out on his desk overnight.

Jesse: It sounds like a fun class. Do you also get to grow plants?

Bob Smiley: We do. We have a garden out back.

Jesse: Cool. Do you grow my favorite kind of vegetable?

Bob Smiley: Maybe. What's your favorite kind of vegetable?

Jesse: Beats me.

Bob Smiley: Okay, Jesse, if you're waiting for a laugh to turn up, I don't think anyone is going to crop up anytime soon.

Jesse: That's nice wordplay. But before we continue with your story, I have a riddle for you.

Bob Smiley: A riddle? Okay. I don't think we've ever had a Jesse riddle on here, but if it keeps you from telling another Jesse joke, then I'm like the last two rows in the garden behind the Ag building.

Jesse: Hang on. What's in the last two rows in the garden behind the Ag building?

Bob Smiley: We're growing corn.

Jesse: I don't get it.

Bob Smiley: Jesse, you say this all the time. I'm all ears. So let's hear the riddle.

Jesse: Well done. And yes, kind of gross. I do say that all the time. Okay, here's the riddle. What runs around a farm but doesn't move?

Bob Smiley: Oh, I know this one.

Jesse: I figured you might.

Bob Smiley: A rooster on an electric scooter. Man, when you first said you had a riddle, I thought it was going to be a really hard riddle. Anyway, yesterday, Mr. Clark asked Billy and me to go out to the Ag barn—

Jesse: AB, that's not the answer.

Bob Smiley: Sure it is. A rooster on an electric scooter can run around the farm without moving.

Jesse: AB, I can't believe I'm about to ask you this, but have you ever seen a rooster on an electric scooter?

Bob Smiley: No. But of course, you've got to keep in mind we live way out in the country, and so our chickens are poor. But I bet the rich chickens in fancy places like New York or Cleveland, I bet those rich chickens, they have rooster scooters for their fowl. Rooster scooters sound awesome.

Jesse: A fence.

Bob Smiley: Oh, come on, Jesse. Don't take offense just because I figured out your riddle so fast.

Jesse: No, the answer is a fence. That's what runs around a farm but doesn't move. A fence.

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah. That's right. A fence around... yeah. Well, that makes sense because I guess you need a fence to keep the roosters from taking their scooters out on the freeway.

Jesse: There are no rooster scooters. Okay, so you said something happened in Ag class recently.

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah. Mr. Clark asked Billy and me to feed the rabbits in the Ag barn.

Jesse: Oh, you have rabbits out there.

Bob Smiley: Oh, we do. We also have sheep, and we have the rabbits like we mentioned. We have goats. We have a very talkative pig, but I'll get to him a bit later. Oh, and we have one horse.

Jesse: Really? I love horses. I had a miniature pony when I was a kid and I would feed him hay, and then he would make this raspy sound when he tried to neigh.

Bob Smiley: A raspy sound? Did he have a cold?

Jesse: Not really. He was just a little hoarse. A little horse, because he's miniature and a horse. Anyway, this story and my great joke reminded me of a voicemail we recently received from Chloe. Let's play it.

Guest (Chloe): Hi, Average Boy. I'm Chloe. I was just wondering if someone is a bad influence on you, but maybe they really need to hear the Bible, what's the right thing to do? I don't have this problem personally; I just wanted to know if you had an opinion. Also, do you like horses? And Jesse or Bob, do you have any jokes about horses? Bye.

Bob Smiley: Wow. That's a very important question, Chloe. But sadly, the answer is no. Jesse doesn't have any good jokes about horses. But I do like horses, especially the kind that play music.

Jesse: Bob, horses can't play music.

Bob Smiley: Well, some can if they're a rocking horse. Okay, now that's a good horse joke.

Jesse: I'd like to say neigh, but it was good. And do you know why the horse ran out of the barn?

Bob Smiley: I can think of a lot of reasons. Maybe he was being chased by a rooster scooter. That could be one. But I don't know, Jesse. Why do you think the horse ran out of the barn?

Jesse: Because it wasn't stable.

Bob Smiley: Okay. I mean, I'm not falling down laughing, but that wasn't bad. However, why don't we stop horsing around and answer Chloe's question for real?

Jesse: That's a great idea because we've heard this question a lot from our listeners quite a bit. After all, Jesus hung out with sinners to share the good news. Jesus even said he came to help the sick, not the healthy.

Bob Smiley: Totally true. It's also true that Jesus was God's son, so he never sinned. But we are all tempted to sin all the time. So if your friend is hanging out with someone who's a bad influence, they have to be really careful about who's influencing who.

Jesse: Exactly. The Bible even tells us that bad company corrupts good morals. But God's word also tells us to go into the world and spread the good news about Jesus. And if we're going to go into the world, we're going to meet people who don't follow God and do bad things.

Bob Smiley: That's really well said. So Chloe, here's what I'd do. Try to tell everybody about Jesus and the Bible, especially the kids who can be a bad influence. But then ask your friends and your parents to let you know if they see any changes in you, like if you're being pulled away from Jesus.

Jesse: Yeah. When you have godly people in your life who can keep you accountable to follow Jesus with your words and actions, they can make sure that you're not compromising your faith or changing from the person that God made you to be. Just like God made me a person with lots of horse jokes, such as: what's a horse's favorite pepper? Jalapenos. That's a hot one.

Bob Smiley: I'm just going to trot away from your horse joke there and try to get back to my story about the Ag barn. So as I said previously, we have tons of animals out there. In fact, some even just wander in for free food. I'll give you an example. There's a freeloading possum that showed up in the back stall last week.

It's full of animals and Mr. Clark, he picked Billy and me to go feed the rabbits during class. But of course, he said it in a very Mr. Clark sort of way.

Jesse: So how did he exactly say it?

Bob Smiley: He said, "Now you boys aren't the brightest bulb in the crayon shed, so you make sure them rabbits don't get out here by leaving that rabbit gate open. Now you hear?" And then he added, "You boys need to be diligent in your work." Jesse, that part was super confusing.

Jesse: Why was that part confusing?

Bob Smiley: Well, how could a man mix up so many metaphors like that, but yet still use a giant word like diligent?

Jesse: Just because people talk a little different, it doesn't mean that they're not smart.

Bob Smiley: Yeah, I guess so. But he didn't need to worry at all because Billy and I are super smart. So after we looked up the word diligent, we headed out to the Ag barn to feed the rabbits.

Jesse: And how did that go?

Bob Smiley: Well, everything was going fine until the pig walked over and he started grunting like crazy.

Jesse: He probably just wanted to be fed as well.

Bob Smiley: That's exactly what Billy said, but I knew what the pig was really trying to say to us. Billy doesn't speak pig as well as I do.

Jesse: What was the pig saying? Was he wanting some medicine?

Bob Smiley: No. Why would a pig want medicine?

Jesse: They just love ointment.

Bob Smiley: Anyway, to properly throw a curveball, you've got to have your fingers across the—

Jesse: Okay, I'm putting away the Jesse joke folder. Please continue with your story.

Bob Smiley: Okay. So this pig was obviously saying just one thing. Jesse, this pig wanted to be ridden. So I swung my leg over the sidewall and I jumped into the pen, and I landed right on top of that bucking beast of bacon.

Jesse: Hang on. If the pig wanted to be ridden, then why was it bucking? And please don't say it was from Buckingham Palace because we already covered that a few episodes ago.

Bob Smiley: I wasn't going to say that. I remember that episode. We all know that Buckingham Palace is full of angry butterflies.

Jesse: No, that's not what we learned. It's a place where... Okay, but back to your story. So what happened after you jumped on the pig? There's another sentence I never thought I'd say.

Bob Smiley: Well, like I said, this pig must have been speaking a different kind of language than the other standard Texas pig Latin, because it became very clear that this pig did not want to be ridden. This pig started jumping around all over the pen trying to throw me off.

Jesse: Why didn't you just jump off the pig?

Bob Smiley: Jump off the pig, Jesse? The hooves and teeth were down below. It was way safer on the back of the ham wagon. But I didn't know how long I could stay on. I started to get worried, and then that's when Billy jumped in the pen to help.

Jesse: Billy to the rescue.

Bob Smiley: Yeah, sort of. Billy wanted to be the hero, but he slipped on some mud when he ran at the pig and he fell down. But that made the pig stop bucking, and the pig made a sharp right turn and he started running straight at Billy.

Jesse: And were you still on its back?

Bob Smiley: I was, but only for a second because with the pig forgetting all about me, I was able to jump off its back and then give the pig a little bit of encouragement.

Jesse: Why would you give the pig some encouragement if it was running right at your best friend?

Bob Smiley: That is a good question and I would love to answer it. Jesse, I gave him a big old high-five on his back quarters. This made the pig stop and swing around to chase me, and that gave Billy time enough to stand up and hop over the wall to safety.

Jesse: So let me correct something that I said earlier. It turns out AB to the rescue, not Billy.

Bob Smiley: Exactly. Well, I do want to give props to Billy. He was pretty brave to jump in and try to save me, but I definitely was the hero.

Jesse: Actually, if you hadn't jumped on the pig's back in the first place, Billy wouldn't have had to jump in—

Bob Smiley: I was definitely the hero, just like you said.

Jesse: Okay, let's move on.

Bob Smiley: Anyway, once I was safely on the other side of the fence, Jesse, we had another problem.

Jesse: And what was that?

Bob Smiley: The hopping hares.

Jesse: Oh, I was wondering when we'd get to them.

Bob Smiley: Jesse, we accidentally left a gate open and the bunnies were bouncing around all over the place. Plus, we were running out of time because class was almost over. Billy looked at me really worried and he said, "We're not going to be able to get them all put up in time, are we?"

Jesse: So did you do it?

Bob Smiley: I guess you're going to have to fast-forward this episode if you want to jump to that answer.

Jesse: How can I jump forward when we're recording it right now?

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah. Anyway, we needed to prove to Mr. Clark that we were in fact very diligent. So I said, "Billy, we just got to do our best." And then Billy said something strange. He said, "Wow, I'm glad no one's here watching us." Jesse, I kind of really struggled with that because I knew God was watching us, but this was really no time to stop and give Billy a Bible lesson.

Jesse: Yeah, I would have to agree. As you said in the Clubhouse Magazine article, you had bigger fish to fry.

Bob Smiley: Yeah, but we actually had zero fish to fry. But I wanted to ask you about that because you know all the words and phrases and stuff, so I wanted to talk about that phrase, "we have bigger fish to fry." I think it's super confusing. Because wouldn't you just fry all the fish no matter what size they are? I mean, who catches and cleans a ton of fish but then says, "Sorry, little fellow, I have bigger fish to fry"?

Jesse: AB.

Bob Smiley: Yeah?

Jesse: I think we're getting off track, and I want you to have time to finish your story. But you do bring up a good point. Even if you didn't have time to tell Billy in the moment that God is always watching us, Hebrews chapter 4, verse 13 says, "Nothing God created is hidden from him. His eyes see everything. He will hold us responsible for everything we do."

Bob Smiley: Oh, that's a perfect verse. It's also a good reminder that we need to always do the right thing even when no one else is looking. And I mean the literal definition of always, like we covered at the start of this episode.

Jesse: I agree with that as well. So?

Bob Smiley: So, pardon the pun, but we hopped to it. We gathered up all the rabbits and we got them back in the pen, and we walked back into the classroom just before the bell rang.

Jesse: So it all worked out and you showed Mr. Clark that you and Billy are indeed diligent when it comes to completing a task.

Bob Smiley: Yep, that's what we did. Well, we did have to sneak back over during lunch and actually feed the rabbits, but yes, we were very diligent.

Jesse: Wait, hang on. You went through all of that and forgot to feed the rabbits?

Bob Smiley: No, we didn't forget. We just remembered later than we were supposed to.

Jesse: I guess that's one way to look at it. And it did make for a fun adventure for everyone to enjoy. And something I also enjoy is hearing from our fans.

Bob Smiley: Yeah, like we did from Chloe. So do you have another one or do you want me to find one?

Jesse: Well, no, I actually like this comment that we got from Jake. He wrote in and he said, "Bob, I have a question. Do you have any tips on scripture memorization? My youth group usually has us memorize chapters of the Bible, and right now we're working on James. I did chapter one, and now we're working on chapter two. Do you ever memorize whole chapters of the Bible? And like I said earlier, do you have any ideas?" He also said this, "I love your podcast and tell Jesse to keep up the hilarious Jesse jokes." He even put "hilarious Jesse jokes" in all caps.

Bob Smiley: All caps? Okay, Jake, there's no need to shout. And unfortunately, I don't think you're going to be able to memorize full chapters of the Bible there, buddy. I'm so sorry to say, but that's what I think.

Jesse: Wait, why would you say that, Bob? That's not very nice.

Bob Smiley: Well, Jake said your Jesse jokes are hilarious, so I'm kind of afraid his brain may be broken.

Jesse: Okay, AB, be serious because Jake is obviously a very intelligent young man.

Bob Smiley: Okay, I was just joking. But to answer his question, I have memorized several chapters of the Bible and James is one of my favorites. It's a short book, but it contains so much great advice. It talks about being careful what we say, how to act when going through bad times, and overall, it's just kind of a book about how to obey God's word.

Jesse: Yeah, that's true, but that's not what Jake was asking about.

Bob Smiley: Oh, what was he asking?

Jesse: He was asking if you had any tips on memorization.

Bob Smiley: Oh, yeah, that's right. Well, of course I do because I'm super smart and I'm always super focused. So here's what I do. I read through three sentences at a time and I do it out loud, and I do that five times. And then I start writing them out until I know them. So I write three sentences out five different times. And once I kind of get that down, then I add the next sentence in the book and I keep doing that until you have the entire chapter memorized. That's how I do it, repeating it over and over like that really helps it stay in the old brain suitcase. So that's my suggestion. What about you, Jesse?

Jesse: I like yours. And just like you, when I write things down, it really helps me remember that. So that's what I do. And this goes all the way back to when I was in college in my New Testament class. We had to memorize all of the Gospel of John chapter one. And so what I found that helped me too was I found a study buddy and then we took turns saying those verses back to each other out loud. So that really helps too, just to talk it out with somebody. But memorizing in those small chunks really helps it stick in my brain better too.

Bob Smiley: Oh, that's good. Anyway, I hope that helps, Jake, and thanks for listening to our podcast.

Jesse: Well, he won't be listening for too much longer today.

Bob Smiley: What? Why? Jesse, I was just joking about my comment about his brain being broken. Oh, wait a minute. We're out of time, aren't we?

Jesse: Sadly, yes. This is the end of today's Official Average Boy Podcast, a presentation of Focus on the Family. If you haven't heard all of our other episodes, you can go back and listen to them at AverageBoyPodcast.com. And parents, while you're on that website, click on the parents' page to subscribe to Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine. This award-winning publication features an award-winning and humorous Adventures of Average Boy story every single month.

Bob Smiley: Written by me! And just below the Clubhouse Magazine sign-up link, parents can also click on the link to buy my devotion books, Devotions for Super Average Kids Books One and Two, or you can get my two newest books, Average Boy's Above Average Year and Average Boy's Above Average Summer. All four books are filled with lots of laughs and encouragement and tons of ways to grow closer to God.

Jesse: Also, just like we said, we love hearing from our listeners. So if you want to leave a voicemail or comment, just click the link in the show notes and ask a question or leave us a comment. But be sure to get your parents' permission because we might use your question or comment on a future episode. Well, thanks for listening everyone. I'm Bob.

Jesse: And I'm Jesse, telling you, don't be average. Be super average. Hey, did you eat all the donuts?

Guest (Female): When I'm taking a break from screens, I make sure I have other activities on hand. My favorite activity is reading an issue of Brio magazine from Focus on the Family. It's perfect for teen girls and full of fun quizzes, tips on fashion and beauty, and articles from a biblical worldview. Check out what Brio has to offer, including past issues, when you visit FocusontheFamily.com/growingfaith. That's FocusontheFamily.com/growingfaith.