The Official Average Boy Podcast

Jesse: 117 of the Official Average Boy Podcast. I'm Jesse from Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine.

Average Boy: Jesse, it snowed! It totally snowed! We got snow in Texas. It was amazing. I know you live in Colorado where there's only like two weeks out of the year that you can be outside without a snowsuit on, but here in Texas, it snows about once every never.

But boom, boom! Cold white stuff was just falling from the sky. So much of it. It was a white Christmas. Well, this happened after Christmas, but we keep Christmas in our hearts all year round, right? So it was like we did have a white Christmas. It was so amazing. You had a white Christmas, right? Anyway, how are you, Jesse?

Jesse: Okay, wow. Yeah, I'm good, AB. Thanks for asking. And I'm guessing you found where your dad hid all that leftover Christmas candy, because you seem really hyper today.

Average Boy: Oh yeah, I actually did find the candy sack in the attic. My dad tried to throw me off the trail there. He labeled the bag "coconut, broccoli, and homework assignment" in hopes that I wouldn't go anywhere near it, but I wasn't fooled. I knew it was Christmas candy. So yeah, I guess I have had some sugar, but also, it's just super cool that I got to play in the snow.

Jesse: Okay, well I promise let's get to your snow story soon here, but first, I think we need to stick to the format of this award-winning podcast and have you introduce yourself to everyone.

Average Boy: Oh, okay, great idea, Jesse. Hey everyone, I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, aka the super-sugared-up, serene, selfless, spellbinding storyteller and searcher of surreal, soothing subject matter. Searcher of surreal, soothing subject matter is a fancy way to say I'm always looking for adventure that makes people happy.

Jesse: Significant, successful, yet sincere description there, AB. And I think we can all agree that you are always looking for adventure. In fact, we have 116 previous episodes to back that up. So, do you want to tell us about this snowy adventure you just had?

Average Boy: I sure do. So the day started with me waking up. I guess that's how all days start, right?

Jesse: Yeah, that's how most of my days begin.

Average Boy: Yeah, but on this particular day, I woke up and noticed it was colder than normal in my room.

Jesse: Hang on, don't you guys have heat in your house? I mean, Texas has a lot of great—two words—the weather is good much of the time, but it can still get colder in the winter.

Average Boy: Oh yeah, we have heat in our houses in Texas, but my dad controls the thermostat based on how our bank account is doing. Plus, I don't think he knew it was going to snow, so he had it set pretty low. Plus, my blanket wasn't covering me. That's the main reason why I was shivering.

Jesse: Well, where was your blanket?

Average Boy: That was my first thought as well. The question got answered pretty quickly, though. I looked on the side of my bed and saw my dog curled up and snuggled really tight in there. He obviously came in and just helped himself to my big old fluffy blanket by pulling it off me while I was asleep.

So I needed to warm up quick, so I jumped out of bed, which startled my dog, who went running out of my room and down the hallway. And even though I had just woken up, I'm always down for a good chase, so I took off running after him, but then I stopped when I came into the living room. Jesse, I looked out our window, and guess what I saw?

Jesse: I'm going to say snow.

Average Boy: Well, I kind of feel like you were cheating there by listening to me earlier, but yes, you're completely right. Snow was falling from the sky.

Jesse: I never thought about it because we Coloradans usually have a white Christmas, but snow is pretty rare down there for you guys, huh?

Average Boy: Oh, totally rare. Most years, to get in the Christmas spirit, my brother and I will go outside, we'll lie down and make dirt angels. That's like snow angels, but in the dirt.

Jesse: I think our listeners would have figured that one out.

Average Boy: You're probably right. Our listeners are pretty smart, especially for how they listen to our show and how they follow Jesus.

Jesse: Speaking of Jesus, what other traditions do you guys have for celebrating His birth?

Average Boy: Well, sometimes we build a leaf man or sing Texas Christmas carols. Songs like, "Dashing through the gravel in a one-seat open tractor, over the fields we go, sweating both of us, laughing, ha ha ha!" Okay, actually I'm going to be honest, Jesse, I just made that one up. But life in Texas, it's way different.

Jesse: Yeah, I can totally see that. So how much of this candy do you have left?

Average Boy: Oh, it's almost gone, but can we get back to my story?

Jesse: Please do.

Average Boy: So this morning, we in Texas had snow just like you Coloradans. It was so crazy. I mean, what's next? Pigs flying or no ants in Antarctica, or my dad saying, "No thank you, two donuts is enough"? I mean, what other crazy thing could happen?

Jesse: Well, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure Antarctica wasn't named because of its ant population. But I really do want to hear how you enjoyed being outside in the snow.

Average Boy: Well, okay, I realized I needed to write a story for Clubhouse Magazine, so I decided to do it outside. I walked out, I sat down on the back porch to start my article, which was about the new snow. That's what I was going to write about and everything that was happening right then.

But then I realized that I needed more for the article than me just sitting outside writing about looking at the snow. I wanted it to be more interesting than that. So, I knew I needed an adventure. I set my laptop down and I went out in the snow to have an adventure that I could write about.

Jesse: It sounds to me like you just wanted to play in the snow.

Average Boy: Well, maybe, but that turned out to be a bad idea for a couple of reasons.

Jesse: Wait, a bad idea? You were all excited. So tell us why it's a bad idea to go play in the snow.

Average Boy: Well, first of all, snow is much colder than you would think it would be. I always see people playing in the snow in movies all the time and their hands don't look red or shaking from frostbite. Plus, snow is really—hang on, I just realized we've been talking about snow and snowmen and you haven't tried once to slip in a Jesse joke.

I mean, we all know you have a lot of snow jokes. You've actually told a few on here, some would say too many, but no snow jokes right now? Are you telling me you don't have any Jesse jokes just about snow or the cold? I mean, this is turning out to be my favorite episode ever.

Jesse: Okay, I do have several here. For instance, what do you get when you combine a snowball and a shark?

Average Boy: A snowball and a shark? Oh, a frosted tip! You know, because of the fin.

Jesse: That's funny, but not the answer. When you combine a snowball and a shark, you get a bad case of frostbite.

Average Boy: Okay, that actually wasn't bad.

Jesse: Thanks. And do you know the names of Frosty's parents?

Average Boy: I don't know. Who were Frosty's parents?

Jesse: Mom and Popsicle, of course.

Average Boy: Okay, really? Why did I even bring up Jesse jokes? I mean, what was I thinking? Things were going so well. I'm going to blame the sugar on that one. Oh wait, Jesse, who is Frosty's favorite aunt?

Jesse: I have no idea.

Average Boy: Ant-arctica! That's funny and it's a good callback.

Jesse: It is a great callback, and that joke is going into the folder. But I have one more and I think you're going to like it. What did the tree say after a long winter?

Average Boy: I want this cold air to "leaf" me alone?

Jesse: So close! My answer is: "What a re-leaf!" Because the tree is making new leaves, it's spring, so it's "re-leafing."

Anyway, snow is cold. That's the point that I was trying to make, but I didn't realize it until it was too late. After setting my laptop down, I went running into the backyard and I dove face-first into the yard that was piled high with snow. I mean, it was so much snow, Jesse. I bet it was half an inch thick.

Jesse: Half an inch thick snow here in Colorado is what we call late September. But please continue.

Average Boy: Anyway, I dove into the snow, and that's when I learned two new things pretty quickly.

Jesse: And those were?

Average Boy: Well, the first one is, there's a reason my dad says to always put the water sprinkler back in the garage.

Jesse: Ouch. That sounds painful. But what was the second thing you learned?

Average Boy: I also learned that Mom keeps the Band-Aids in the pantry over by all the chips.

Jesse: With all the adventures and all the injuries you have, AB, I'm surprised you didn't already know where the Band-Aids are kept in the Smiley household.

Average Boy: Well, my mom started buying them in bulk, so she changed where she kept them. But that little mishap didn't stop me. Once Mom bandaged up my nose, I was right back out there in the snow. My brother had even gotten there by then, so naturally I knew it was the perfect time to try to make a big snowman.

Jesse: Oh, good. I like to hear these stories about how you and your brother do things together and get along. So were you two able to make an awesome snowman?

Average Boy: No, my brother wouldn't stand still long enough for me to get all that snow on him. But then, that's when I started getting really cold, especially my hands. So I went back to the back porch to finish my Clubhouse article, and that didn't go well either.

Jesse: Why not?

Average Boy: Jesse, my hands were completely frozen. They were red and wet and they were acting like me after I go to the bottom of that bag of the Christmas candy.

Jesse: So a little shaky?

Average Boy: Exactly. I definitely shouldn't eat that much sugar. I sort of look like my dad after his third cup of coffee.

Jesse: Caffeine does that to many adults.

Average Boy: Anyway, I'd already typed the first couple of paragraphs before I left to play in the snow, but now I was struggling to keep my fingers on the keys. When I looked down to see what I had just typed, it just said "garsnoozle flopping." So I obviously had to go in and warm up my fingers, and maybe even have some hot cocoa that my mom was making.

Jesse: You make a good point. Snow is beautiful, but very cold. You can't really stay out in it for very long unless you have the right clothing.

Average Boy: That's exactly what I was thinking. I'd go in, I'd warm up, and maybe even put on some warmer clothes. So I closed my laptop and headed for the back door. Jesse, this is where I learned another important lesson.

Jesse: We can't wait to hear it.

Average Boy: Well, here it is: always carry a house key if your dad is a known prankster.

Jesse: Your dad locked you out of the house?

Average Boy: My dad locked me out of the house. I could see him through the glass door. He took a big sip of hot cocoa and then he goes, "Who is it?"

Jesse: Wait, you saw your dad through the glass door, which means he could also see you, yet he's asking "Who is it?"

Average Boy: A known prankster, I tell you. That's who's raising me, Jesse. So I replied, "It's your favorite son, now let me in." And Dad said, "Well, how can that be? Brian is right here in the living room by the toasty warm fireplace, ha ha ha!"

Jesse: I do love your dad's sense of humor.

Average Boy: Yeah, I wasn't a fan of it at the time. So I yelled, "Come on, Dad, let me in." And Jesse, you aren't going to believe what he said next.

Jesse: What did he say?

Average Boy: He looked at me through the glass door and he said, "No thank you, two donuts is enough."

Jesse: Okay, so wait, how did your dad know about that?

Average Boy: Jesse, here's another thing I learned: never leave your laptop unattended while you play in the snow. My dad must have come outside and read that on my laptop.

Jesse: So you actually wrote that in your Clubhouse article?

Average Boy: Yeah, I thought it was a funny way to start the article, but now it was like when Billy and I tried to repair that go-kart we found in the junkyard. It was totally backfiring on me.

Jesse: Well, this might be a good time to remind everyone that words have power, so you have to be very careful how you use them. Making a joke at someone else's expense is never a good idea, and it often comes back to bite you.

Average Boy: That's really true. But another truth popped in my head while I was standing outside. I remembered that Dad always leaves his keys in the car inside the garage, and I was thinking my chances were pretty good that there'd be a house key attached to those other keys.

Jesse: That's some hot thinking with a cold brain.

Average Boy: Wow, that's great wordplay, Jesse. So I headed around the side of the house when I noticed another thing. And honestly, this is the whole reason why I was excited to tell you about the snow.

When I got around to the driveway, I could see the front yard and it was covered in snow. My brother and I hadn't made it around to the front, so the whole front yard was just perfectly white. And that made me think of the old hymn, "What can make me white as snow? Nothing but the blood of Jesus." Jesse, you know that song?

Jesse: I do. It's actually one of my favorites, but when I hear it, it's normally sung in the right key.

Average Boy: I'll get to my dad's keys in a bit, but I'm trying to talk about this song. The words are so good. And now I was standing there looking at a perfect example. Our yard was nothing but a beautiful white snow color.

You know, Jesse—actually, I know you know, but I want to say it anyway. When Jesus died on the cross, His sacrifice covered our sins and covered all our sins, and it made us white as snow. Anyway, I couldn't stop thinking about that all morning as I was looking out the window at our beautiful white driveway.

Jesse: What a great point, AB. That song and your comments remind me of one of my favorite scriptures. In Isaiah chapter 1 verse 18, it says, "Come now and let us settle the matter, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow. Though they are red as crimson, they will be like wool."

Average Boy: Well, I really could have used some wool for warmth that day. But yeah, Jesus went to the cross for all our sins, all of us, and He's given us a gift that if we accept it, we can be white as snow. When we pray to believe in and follow Jesus, He wipes our past clean. It's like a totally new start.

Jesse: It's amazing. And I'm so glad you get to see how us Coloradans feel with a few days of snow you had down there in Texas.

Average Boy: It was actually just one day. I think Texas finally remembered that it was Texas and the snow was gone by the next morning.

Jesse: Well, speaking of being gone, before we're gone, I'd like to answer this important question we got from a Spotify listener. Julie Sindenback wrote, "What do I do if I have friends that are bad influences on me? They're the only friends I have at school and I would have no other friends without them."

Average Boy: Oh, wow, that is a tough situation to be in.

Jesse: True, but I was thinking back to a previous episode when some kids who you knew were bad influences tried to get you to steal cotton candy at the mall. So I thought maybe you'd have some good advice for Julie.

Average Boy: Oh yeah, well, maybe, but I definitely have a question for her. If your friends are bad influences on you, are they really your friends? Because friends shouldn't try to get you to do bad stuff. Billy is my best friend, but if he was a bad influence on me or tried to get me to do stuff that goes against my faith in Jesus, I wouldn't be friends with him. It's just not worth it. So rather than giving you advice about these friends that you mentioned, I'd rather encourage you to find new friends.

I know you said that you wouldn't have any friends up at school if it wasn't for them, but have you really tried? Normally schools have a lot of kids. So have you tried to join a club or go out for a new sport or even just look for other kids who don't have many friends? Maybe somebody else is in your situation and they're looking for new friends and you can be that new friend for them. Or at your church. Like I said, it's a tough situation that you're in, Julie, but if these friends are really bad influences, then I think you should do exactly what your last name suggests.

Jesse: I knew you'd have great advice. But what do you mean about her last name?

Average Boy: Well, Jesse, her name is Julie Sindenback. And that's exactly what I'd do. I'd send them back and find new ones. Even if it takes some time to find real true friends, being lonely for just a little while, I think it's worth the wait.

Jesse: Good point, but "send them back" is not how you pronounce her last name, but your advice, like I said, is spot on. And I know we've used this verse before, but it fits here perfectly. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be deceived. Bad company corrupts good morals." In other words, your friends can have a big influence on what you believe and how you act, so it's important to have friends who build up your faith and not pull you away from God.

Average Boy: Yeah, just like I said.

Jesse: Exactly. And just like you said earlier, when you become a Christian, Jesus' sacrifice on the cross wipes away all of our sins and makes us as white as snow. We're a new creation, and we should act that way. And speaking of snow and Jesus' great gift, we need to wrap up this podcast.

Average Boy: Okay, I see what you did there.

Jesse: Well, thanks. As always, I'd like to remind everyone that the Official Average Boy Podcast is a presentation of Focus on the Family. If you haven't heard our other episodes, you can always go back and listen to them at averageboypodcast.com.

At that website, your parents can click on the "Parents Page" link, which is a little green box, and they can scroll down and click on the "Subscribe Now" button to sign up for Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine so you can read a brand new Adventures of Average Boy story every month.

Average Boy: Yeah, and parents can also click on the link to the Focus store to buy my devotional books, *Devotions for Super Average Kids* books one and two, or my two newest books, *Average Boy's Above Average Year* or *Average Boy's Above Average Summer*. And I have a story in *Average Boy's Above Average Year* about why it's important not to pick bad friends. Jesse, you remember the "terrible threesome"?

Jesse: I do. And while your parents are checking out AB's books on the website we just mentioned, they can also help you send in a question or comment. Anyone can send us a message at averageboypodcast.com by clicking on the "Ask a Question" at the bottom of the parents' page.

You can also leave a voice message by clicking on the "Leave a Voicemail" box. Just make sure to get your parents' permission before you call because we might use your message on a future episode. Well, thanks for listening, everyone. I'm Jesse. And I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, telling you: don't be average, be super average!