The Official Average Boy Podcast

Bob Smiley: Welcome to episode 116 of the official Average Boy Podcast. I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy, aka the likable loud laughing lover of life, leader of loyal logic, and a leech for one lovely lady.

Jesse: I'm sure we'll get to the meaning behind all those words eventually, but let me introduce myself first. Hey everyone, I'm Jesse from Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine, aka the lighthearted lover of linguistics. But since I talked so much on our last episode, I'm going to let AB talk for most of this one.

Bob Smiley: Oh wow, thanks. Yeah, I remember last episode you went on and on about your Christmas vacation and some gorilla. It was a lot.

Jesse: Well played. But actually, I was making a joke about me talking so much on the last episode. I think I barely got out two sentences.

Bob Smiley: It seemed much longer. But hang on, I'm just now rethinking this. You're a lighthearted lover of that word you just said? Does that mean you love pasta?

Jesse: Linguistics has nothing to do with Italian food. I think you're thinking of linguine.

Bob Smiley: Maybe. So does that mean you're a master of those rubbery things that hold your bones together?

Jesse: Now you're thinking of a ligament. Linguistics is more interesting than that. Linguistics is the scientific study of language and its structure, including the study of morphology, syntax, phonetics, even semantics. It's fascinating.

Bob Smiley: Sorry, dozed off. Fasten me to the bed because I'm ready for a nap after listening to that definition. But that actually sounded mean and I didn't mean for it to sound mean. That's what makes this world so amazing, right? We're all different. That word that you keep saying, that can be interesting to you while for some of us listeners, they've already walked into the kitchen because now they're hungry for some linguine.

Jesse: Bob, I can tell you've been working on that Italian accent. That was really good. But what you said is true, too. God made us all in His own image and He gives each of us different talents and interests and abilities. It definitely makes this planet captivating. But I do want to get back to your introduction. Did you say you were a leech for one lovely lady?

Bob Smiley: I did. However, hearing you say it back to me, that would be a terrible name for a Valentine's movie. Can you imagine? "This February, you'll laugh, you'll cry. Don't miss 'A Leech for One Lovely Lady.'" That'd be ridiculous.

But I stand by that phrase for my introduction. My mom is the lovely lady and I'm the leech.

Jesse: That actually makes sense because to leech off someone is an idiom meaning to deliberately depend on another person's resources, such as money, food, or time, without giving anything substantial in return.

Bob Smiley: Wow, you really are a linguist. Let's move past this part of our episode and get into the story that I want to tell. I think it'll actually clear up the leaching part.

Jesse: Again, I'm all ears.

Bob Smiley: Gross. But let's move on. So last week, there I was yelling as loud as I could. Help! Hello! Can anyone hear me?

Jesse: Your story is starting right in the middle of the action. But can you give us some more details? Where were you? Why were you yelling for help?

Bob Smiley: I was at the bottom of a giant mountain. Even though I was yelling for help, it was like a double-eraser pencil. It was pointless.

Jesse: I think you mean analogy. It was a perfect analogy.

Bob Smiley: I don't think so because I'm not allergic to outside stuff. It's my brother that suffers from bad outdoor analogies.

Jesse: Now you're thinking of allergies, but I'm beginning to feel like we're moving really far away from your story.

Bob Smiley: I wish I'd been moving away from that mountain at the time. I took one more giant breath and yelled, "This is the worst!" And that's when I heard a faint whisper coming from the other side of the mountain. "AB!" It actually sounded like my mom.

Jesse: That's great, but we still have no idea where you are or why you're there or how much danger you're in.

Bob Smiley: I'm going to get to that part in a bit. Maybe episode 128.

Jesse: Come on, Bob.

Bob Smiley: I'm just kidding. I'll get to it in a bit. But right now, I need some help from our Producer Guy. Producer Guy, are you back there? Can I get some suspenseful music?

Producer Guy: I'm here.

Jesse: We don't know where you are because you won't tell us.

Bob Smiley: I meant where was I in this awesome story that I was telling.

Producer Guy: I think your mom had just said your name.

Bob Smiley: I heard my name from a voice that sounded like my mom's. It was sweeping up over the mountain and cascading down into the valley where I lay.

Jesse: And would you like to tell us where you were laying? Maybe a city? Even a state?

Bob Smiley: I was in the state of disarray. It sounded like my mom, but I had to make sure it was her voice and not a montage brought on by the heat and exhaustion I was having.

Jesse: Mirage. I think the word you're looking for is mirage. Although, if you ever make that "A Leech for One Lovely Lady" movie, I think you'd be able to put together some amazing montage of scenes in your life where your mom helped you.

Bob Smiley: Words are weird. Anyway, I agree. But right now, I had to make sure it was her and not a mirage brought on by the heat and exhaustion. So I let out a feeble, "Mother, is that you? I'm on the other side of the mountain. Please, help!" And then Mom peeked around the large pile of laundry in our living room and said, "Bob, stop joking around. Folding laundry is not the worst. Now get started."

Jesse: Hang on. So there was no real mountain and you're just in front of a pile of laundry this entire time?

Bob Smiley: It was a mountain. You couldn't even see the couch below it. And you know how big our living room couch is.

Jesse: Actually, I know that the couch has been part of a lot of your adventures, but you never really said how big it is.

Bob Smiley: Well, if it helps, it's smaller than that pile of laundry I had to fold.

Jesse: That doesn't help at all. But let's move on.

Bob Smiley: Mom did have a point. Folding laundry isn't the worst. There are lots of things that are worse than folding most of the clothes made in Texas.

Jesse: I'm sure the pile of laundry didn't contain most of the clothes in Texas. Actually, I think you're actually starting to make a good point that I want to focus on a little bit more here. I hear people say something is the worst all the time. Actually, it's not the worst.

Helping out your family around the house isn't really the worst. And it's not the worst not to get the part you wanted in a play. It's disappointing, but it's not the worst. We have so many blessings that we can take for granted. Instead of focusing on the bad, I think maybe we should focus on the good things because, honestly, I can always think of lots of things that would be worse.

Bob Smiley: I totally agree. And there's definitely worse things than folding laundry. For instance, I could have been folding laundry down in a dark pit. That would have been worse. Or I could have been folding laundry down in a dark pit full of snakes. Or even a hundred times worser, my brother could have been in the pit instead of the snakes.

Jesse: I think we're straying from the point now. And I don't want our listeners to miss this. The Bible contains many scriptures about how to handle tough times. One of the most famous, Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

And in Isaiah 41:10, it tells us, "Fear not, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." And of course there is James 1:2-3. That reminds us, it says, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Basically, trials and doing hard things in life strengthens us and should point us to relying on God more and more.

Bob Smiley: My dad is always telling me that doing hard things teaches and refines us. And I know it's got to be true, but I don't know what lesson I was supposed to be learning that day by having to fold that many clothes by myself. I mean, why couldn't my brother help out? Or the imaginary snakes that were down in that imaginary pit? Why did they help?

Jesse: They don't have arms. But I'm sure your mother had a reason as to why you needed to be the one to fold those clothes.

Bob Smiley: I don't know what that reason could have been.

Jesse: Did you ask her?

Bob Smiley: The reason was the pile was evidently full of all the clothes that I owned.

Jesse: Why would all of your clothes need to be folded at once?

Bob Smiley: I guess it was all my fault. I was supposed to put all my dirty clothes in the laundry basket in the laundry room. That's my mom's rule. But the basket is all the way down the hall, whereas under my bed is way closer. Under my bed has been my go-to place for dirty laundry lately. And by lately, I mean for the last one to four months.

Jesse: So going back to the Bible verses we just shared, you were facing a trial because you didn't do the right thing in the first place. And you were learning a lesson about not putting off your chores and letting them figuratively and literally pile up on you.

Bob Smiley: I guess you're right. A few days ago, I couldn't find any clean clothes to wear, so I had to wear my frog suit to breakfast. I didn't mind it. I liked my frog suit. But I couldn't figure out where all my clothes went and that's when I remembered about my under-the-bed system. It also kind of explained why my bed seemed to be higher off the ground than usual.

Jesse: I can't blame you for not wanting to do laundry. I'm terrible at doing laundry. I start off strong, but about halfway through, I throw in the towel.

Bob Smiley: That one got me. I actually think that's your best joke yet.

Jesse: Jokes about laundry are my favorite. I have a really dry sense of humor. Dry because you dry your laundry?

Bob Smiley: We're back to the lame jokes again.

Jesse: I bet most of them are probably groaning. Kind of like I was when I started in on that giant laundry mountain.

Bob Smiley: Basically when I pulled all the clothes out, my mom and I went on a two-day washing journey, but then Mom said that I needed to be the one to fold all the clothes kind of as a reminder to follow all the rules that she has in place to help my brother and me always have clean clothes to wear.

Jesse: She does make a good point.

Bob Smiley: She always does. But honestly, at that moment, I didn't have a positive outlook. In fact, I asked her if it was okay for me to do half of the folding right then, but then take a short break before I finished the rest and she wouldn't let me do that.

Jesse: Your mom seems to be very reasonable, so that doesn't really sound like her. What exactly did you say to her?

Bob Smiley: I said, "Hey Mom, how about I fold half now, take a small break to graduate from college, and then I come back and do all the rest?"

Jesse: There it is. And it's a good tip to all of our listeners about the importance of asking follow-up questions when you're talking to AB.

Bob Smiley: I'm not going to question your tip, but Jesse, you're going to love my mom's answer. She said, "Bob, aren't you always telling everyone on your podcast to keep a good attitude and always try your best at things you need to do?"

Jesse: She's spitting out some truth there, Bob.

Bob Smiley: I know, but at the time, I remember thinking, "Oh great. So now she decides to listen to our podcast." But deep down, I knew she was making a great point. My clothes were clean, but my attitude still needed a big wash. I needed to listen to my own advice and stay positive. After all, I should be grateful that I even have this many clothes, or that my mom helped me wash them, or that we don't live near a pit full of snakes. There's lots to be thankful for whenever you stop and think about it.

Jesse: It sounds like you didn't start off with the right attitude, but you changed your thinking and got on the right path.

Bob Smiley: I did. I even gave my mom a hug and I grabbed a shirt from the giant mountain with a new and more positive outlook. And I started folding clothes once Mom unburied me from the avalanche of clothes that fell on me. Jesse, never grab from the bottom.

Jesse: Well, I think we've learned several good pieces of advice on how to handle life a little better. First, don't take shortcuts, stuffing the stuff under your bed. Second, obey your parents' rules, which are there to make for a smoother life.

Bob Smiley: And C, never grab from the bottom. That's probably the most important one. It took my mom forever to dig me out. Of course, her laughing didn't help it go any faster.

Jesse: We actually have a few minutes left on our show today, which is good because I want to slow down a little bit and answer a very difficult but very important question we got a few days ago from a listener.

Bob Smiley: Is this a serious question?

Jesse: It is, and it's a tough one because it's also a question I think everyone has to deal with at some point in their life.

Bob Smiley: Let's hear it.

Jesse: We got a letter from Caleb and he wrote, "Hi AB. Someone special to me went home to be with Jesus and I feel a big emptiness. Can you help me know how to stop being sad?"

Bob Smiley: Caleb, I am so sorry to hear that. That's a very tough thing to go through. I've actually never talked about this, but a few years ago, my great-grandfather passed away and I was sad for a really long time. In fact, I still get sad sometimes when I think about it. My great-grandfather loved Jesus and he was a great man. He wasn't a pretty good grandfather; he was a great-grandfather.

Jesse: As a grandfather myself, Bob, I like how you mentioned that your great-grandfather loved Jesus. It's so cool his spiritual legacy has been passed down to you and you're living for Jesus.

Bob Smiley: Thanks Jesse. Yeah, you're exactly right. I do live for Jesus, but my great-grandfather is living with Jesus. I know he's in a better place and in a perfect body. When he was alive, his right hip was always hurting him and he was always fighting some kind of cough or sickness. So it makes me feel better knowing that he will never feel pain anymore.

However, that doesn't take away all the sadness. I miss being around him. I miss going fishing with him or walking out in the woods. We used to love to do that. And I even still see things that make me think of him and I get a little bit sad, but I think it's okay to miss him and to be a little sad.

Jesse: You can be happy for someone because they're with Jesus, but at the same time you can feel sadness because you really miss them.

Bob Smiley: As Christians, it's our ultimate goal in life to spread God's word and to be kind to others. And because we believe in Jesus as our Savior, we know one day we're going to get to be with our Creator, God. So when I get sad, I just remind myself that my great-grandfather did all of those things and now he gets to be with Jesus.

And I remind myself that he's so much better off now without any pain or sadness and that helps me feel better about losing him. So in the midst of your sadness, you also need to remind yourself that the person you lost has actually gained the best gift ever, eternal salvation. Anyway, that's my take on it. Jesse, do you have any advice?

Jesse: Wow, AB. That was beautifully said. So much so, I don't really think I can add much except maybe to reference a scripture that we already quoted today. The scripture from Isaiah 41:10 that says, "Fear not, I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." When you're sad, talk to God about it. He knows you're sad and He's there ready to comfort you.

Bob Smiley: That's a good point. Yeah, and talk to your parents or your youth leader. I remember telling my youth leader that I was sad about losing my great-grandfather and he didn't tell me to just get over it. He asked me to share some stories with him about some things that we did together and just kind of relive some memories that I had with my great-grandfather. And retelling those stories and spending some time thinking about just all the fun we had, that really helped me get past the sadness and made me feel grateful that I had my great-grandfather in my life for the time that I did.

Jesse: That's another great point, AB. It's a tough thing to go through, Caleb, but it's a part of life in this fallen world. So my advice would be to honor their memory, know that you're going to be sad from time to time, but also rejoice in the fact that the person we lost is absolutely in a better place. And hopefully that'll bring you some comfort.

Wow, that was a serious question.

Jesse: It was, but it's an important one because we all have to go through what Caleb is going through now. But I don't want to end on such a heavy note, so how about we end with this voicemail that we got from a grandfather?

Guest (Male): Me and my ten-year-old grandson, we drove across South Dakota over to Colorado, and we turned on Average Boy. And every time we would do something, all he ever wanted to do was listen to Average Boy. I would have some other things I wanted to listen to on the radio, but "Grandpa, Grandpa, can we listen to Average Boy?" We listened to all 116 Average Boys, starting with number one. He just absolutely loved it. I actually thought it was kind of squirrely at first, and then I realized how it was so right on for a ten-year-old. It was perfect.

Bob Smiley: Oh, that was awesome. That was really awesome. Except for the grandpa saying that he wanted to listen to something else at the beginning. What's up with that? And I didn't like the squirrely description that he gave us.

Anyway, I loved it. It was my favorite. And I'm so glad that our podcast is something that can be enjoyed together by grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, kids, cousins, friends, pets, even plants probably. Hey, Jesse, that's something we never get.

Jesse: Voicemails from pets and plants?

Bob Smiley: No, we never get voicemails from parents or grandparents. So grownups, listeners, if you know a kid who loves, you know what, forget about the kid. If you're a grownup and you are loving this podcast, send us a voicemail. We'd love to hear from the adults, right, Jesse?

Jesse: Right. We love hearing stories from people who enjoy the official Average Boy Podcast, which is a presentation of Focus on the Family. And if you haven't heard every episode, what's stopping you? You can go back, listen to them all at averageboypodcast.com. And parents, while you're on that website, click on the parents page to subscribe to Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine. This award-winning magazine features an award-winning and humorous Adventures of Average Boy story every month.

Bob Smiley: Hey, that's me. And just below the Clubhouse Magazine sign-up link, parents can also click on the link to buy my devotional books, Devotions for Super Average Kids Books 1 and 2, or my two new books, Average Boy's Above Average Year and Average Boy's Above Average Summer. All four books are filled with lots of laughs, encouragement, and ways to grow closer to God.

Jesse: Another cool feature on that website is the ability to send in your questions and comments. Anyone can send us a message at averageboypodcast.com by clicking on the Ask Average Boy link on the parents page.

Bob Smiley: And it's easy to leave a voicemail message by scrolling up a little bit and clicking on that green box that says Leave a Voicemail. Just make sure to get your parents' permission before calling. Unless you're a parent or a grandparent, then you can just call. Anyway, thanks for listening, everyone. I'm Bob.

Jesse: And I'm Jesse telling you, don't be average.

Bob Smiley: Be super average. You know, Jesse, in Texas we call squirrels "chicken of the tree."

Are you trying to cut back on your kids' screen time? Want biblically-based entertainment? Do you like it when people ask questions in groups of three? Well, check out Focus on the Family's Clubhouse Magazine. Each month, your eight to 12-year-old will get a magazine full of fiction stories, activities, comics, and more to help them grow closer to Jesus. Plus, every issue has a hilarious Adventures of Average Boy story written by me, Bob Smiley. Subscribe today at focusonthefamily.com/kidsmags. That's focusonthefamily.com/kidsmags.