The Official Average Boy Podcast

Bob Smiley: Episode 120. Let's go! Hey everyone, I'm Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy.

Jesse: And I'm Jesse from Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine. Welcome to the official Adventures in Odyssey Podcast.

Bob Smiley: What? Jesse, what are you doing? This is the official Average Boy Podcast. I know you host the Odyssey podcast with that other Bob, but come on. Jesse, hang on. Is that a new coffee cup?

Jesse: Yes, it is. But please finish what you were saying.

Bob Smiley: What was I saying? Oh, you need to focus more, like knowing which Bob and which podcast you're actually doing.

Jesse: You're right, Bob. But you can understand how this could get confusing for me, especially today when there's this big news coming out about Adventures in Odyssey.

Bob Smiley: Wait, there's big news about Adventures in Odyssey? Nobody tells me anything around here, and I'm a huge AIO fan. What's the news? Can you tell us? You said it was big. How big? Is it Donnie big?

Jesse: Oh, it's Donnie big. It's Hollywood movie blockbuster big because Adventures in Odyssey, the award-winning audio drama...

Bob Smiley: They won an award too, like I did?

Jesse: Yes, like we did. But as I was saying, Adventures in Odyssey, another award-winning audio program with more than a thousand episodes, is finally hitting the big screen. A full-length animated movie will be in theaters this fall, and it's called Journey into the Impossible.

Bob Smiley: That is awesome! Yes, I'll do it.

Jesse: Do what?

Bob Smiley: Jesse, yes, I'll be in the movie. I don't even have to be a main character. That's probably going to be Mr. Whittaker, but I can be the next-to-the-main-character guy, or maybe make a cameo. I can do a cameo.

Jesse: AB, I love this enthusiasm, but I don't think they're in need of your talents right now.

Bob Smiley: Oh, I could be the kid that pulls back the curtain, like I did when I started my third-grade play as the kid who opened and closed the curtain for the play. I don't know if you remember that, but I had the most important role. Without me, no one would have seen anything.

Jesse: True, and I do remember that. But I think the Odyssey people are good for now.

Bob Smiley: Okay, well, I'm here if they need me. Hang on, what did you say the name of the movie was?

Jesse: Journey into the Impossible.

Bob Smiley: Well, that doesn't sound impossible. It actually sounds possible because you just told me about it. I'm definitely planning on being one of the first to journey into the theater to see it. Unless the impossible part is that it's not really happening. It's really happening, right, Jesse?

Jesse: The movie is definitely happening, and everyone can find out more details and behind-the-scenes information at odysseystudioinsiders.com.

Bob Smiley: Okay, I'm going to it now. That is so cool. I want to be an Odyssey studio insider, so I'm definitely signing up. And maybe if this movie does well, Focus on the Family's next movie will be The Adventures of Average Boy, starring me, Bob Smiley, aka Average Boy. Aka the golden, gregarious, gifted, goal-oriented, go-to golfer of gladness, grown in the galaxy.

Jesse: Okay, I don't know what that means, but way to get us back on track with our podcast, AB.

Bob Smiley: Thanks, Jesse. You know, that's probably why they gave me an award. And I do have a story to tell, so I thought we should eventually get to it.

Jesse: Well, let's act like me in front of my bed after I've stayed up late for a church retreat.

Bob Smiley: Oh, jump right in!

Jesse: Yep, let's jump right in. And I'm assuming your story has something to do with golf since you said go-to golfer, but honestly, I can never be sure where we're going.

Bob Smiley: Oh, it does. You see, last week was our youth group golf tournament. We do it every year to raise money for mission trips. We get sponsors and then we break into pairs and have a competition against other kid-duo teams. It's so fun. And we get to raise tons of money for missions, which is the best part.

Jesse: Wow, that does sound like fun. Your youth group seems to do a lot. You guys do a lot of activities together. One of my favorites was the trust fall you told us about in episode 100.

Bob Smiley: I love that episode, Jesse. And actually, so did Jesse from Arizona. Jesse sent us a message recently from the website averageboypodcast.com, which should be everyone's homepage. Jesse's letter said, "I liked episode 100 because there were almost no Jesse jokes." That's ironic, isn't it?

Jesse: Why? Because Jesse doesn't like Jesse jokes?

Bob Smiley: No, because Arizona Jesse also sent in his own Jesse joke. This is the joke he sent in: "What do you get when a tortoise runs into a porcupine? A slowpoke." That's actually a good Jesse joke. So, thanks, Arizona Jesse.

Jesse: Yeah, well, anyway, my point was that your youth group does lots of things, like sports, games, and competitions. I hope you're being careful because games can be fun and all, but once my daughter got injured in a game of peek-a-boo.

Bob Smiley: Oh no, you didn't tell me about that. She got injured by playing peek-a-boo? What happened?

Jesse: Well, everything was okay when she went to the ICU. Peek-a-boo, I-C-U. So good.

Bob Smiley: I don't know about the "peek-a," but I definitely agree with the "boo" part. Boo!

Jesse: I know my fans are laughing.

Bob Smiley: Really? Well, I'm glad we can't hear both of them. And I'm pretty sure Arizona Jesse is probably not laughing. But let's get back to the golf story. Golf is really fun, but there are so many things that just don't make sense.

Jesse: Can you give us an example?

Bob Smiley: Okay, like this one time I yelled, "Eight!" right after I hit the ball off the tee.

Jesse: AB, I think you're supposed to yell, "Fore!" but that's only if your ball is headed toward someone.

Bob Smiley: Well, right, but my golf ball was headed toward a bunch of people, so I doubled the number just to be safe. And then Sarah, she actually told me exactly what you just said. She said I was supposed to just say "Fore," no matter how many people might get hit by the golf ball. But Jesse, I was getting so bored yelling the same number over and over every time I hit my drive off the tee box.

Jesse: Okay, well, that answers my next question because I was going to ask if you were a good golfer. But if you had to yell "fore" every time, I think that answers it. But speaking of things that don't make sense in golf, did you know golfers don't like butterflies?

Bob Smiley: They don't like—wait a minute. Do you mean angry butterflies, like the one in Buckingham Palace?

Jesse: No, no. AB, there are no angry butterflies in Bucking—okay, I think we went over that on our last show. No, golfers don't like butterflies because they prefer caterpillars. Cater-pillars, because caddies carry people's clubs while they're golfing.

Bob Smiley: Okay, I'm actually going to repeat something that Donnie said to me over and over on the golf course, Jesse: "A swing and a miss." That golf joke was not a hole-in-one. And I do have to disagree with you about one thing: I'm actually a great golfer.

Jesse: I didn't even know you'd ever played golf before.

Bob Smiley: Oh yeah, actually, Dad takes me golfing every time he doesn't see me hiding in the back seat after he leaves for the golf course. So, I've been getting really good at golf lately. In fact, the last time I golfed, Jesse, I caught an armadillo.

Jesse: You caught an armadillo? I don't think that's a good indicator of how good someone is at golf. But wait, how did you catch an armadillo?

Bob Smiley: Oh, with my hands mostly. You see, I hit the ball deep into the woods, and then Dad got on the tee box and he hit his ball straight down the fairway.

Jesse: The fairway?

Bob Smiley: Yeah, I guess it's a fairway to golf. I don't think it was cheating, but it definitely seemed to make the game easier for him but honestly more boring. You don't get to explore the woods if all you do is just keep hitting the ball out in the open like that.

Or actually, now that I'm saying this, maybe Dad's afraid of the woods. I never thought of that. But he was always very careful to always just hit his ball in the flat, open grassy area.

Jesse: Well, it sounds like your dad is just a really good golf—you know, never mind. Just please continue your story.

Bob Smiley: Okay, so Dad told me to go into the woods and look for my ball. He said that he would just wait in the golf cart. Actually, what he said is, "You go look for the ball. I'll get in the golf cart and maybe take a nap, do my taxes, grow a beard." My dad can be really sarcastic when he's golfing.

Jesse: Well, if he did take a nap, I hope your dad didn't have a golfing nightmare.

Bob Smiley: Oh no, wait a minute. What's a golfing nightmare?

Jesse: You know, it's the one where you're chased by the Bogeyman. Bogey, because a bogey in golf is where you score one over par.

Bob Smiley: Well, if I'm being honest, that joke was not up to par. Whatever par is, I never did figure out all those terms, except for eagle. I know what an eagle is because I love America.

But to get back to my story, when I went to look for my golf ball, I heard some rustling noises to the right of me. At first, I thought it might be another smart golfer who hit their ball into the woods so they could have more fun. But when I looked over, Jesse, that's when I saw the armadillo.

Jesse: Okay, I have to stop you right there and remind all of our young listeners that it's not a good idea to catch wild animals.

Bob Smiley: Well, that armadillo would definitely agree with you, Jesse. He did not want to be caught. But I didn't realize that until after I caught him. So, I quickly let him go. However, no other golfer that day caught an armadillo, so I kind of feel like that makes me the best golfer.

Jesse: Yeah, and I'm glad it was just an armadillo. It can be dangerous to play golf in the woods, but of course, it's not as dangerous as playing in the jungle.

Bob Smiley: Oh really? Why is it bad to play golf in the jungle?

Jesse: Because of all the cheetahs.

Bob Smiley: Oh, come on! Jesse, how many golf jokes you have in that folder of yours?

Jesse: Oh, a whole bag full, but I'm putting it away for now. Well, let's just focus on this golf tournament here. So, how did they have it all set up?

Bob Smiley: Well, they set it up this way: So, each pair had a boy and a girl. Sarah picked me because of how good I am at golf.

Jesse: Did she know how good you were at golf?

Bob Smiley: No, not at all. Why do you ask?

Jesse: No reason. But please continue.

Bob Smiley: Anyway, Sarah's a good friend, so I knew we were going to have fun. But then—producer guy, get ready. But then, a dark shadow was cast over our day.

Jesse: Uh oh, that usually means Donnie is involved.

Bob Smiley: You guessed it! Sarah and I were warming up by swinging our golf clubs around in a circle, and when I came back to the tee box after retrieving my club—

Jesse: Wait, hang on. Retrieving your club? What happened to your golf club?

Bob Smiley: Well, Jesse—oh, what was the first part of the sentence that you just said?

Jesse: Hang on?

Bob Smiley: Yeah, that's it. I should have done that. When you swing a golf club to loosen up, you should really hang on to it.

Jesse: Yes, that's good advice. And keep going with your story.

Bob Smiley: Okay, so when I got back to the tee box, I saw Donnie and Jenny standing there talking to Sarah. They were obviously the other pair that we were going to be competing against that day.

Jesse: Well, maybe God put Donnie in your group so you could continue to be a godly influence in his life.

Bob Smiley: Yes, that's exactly what I'm thinking.

Jesse: Good for you. I'm proud that you're able to see it as an opportunity to be hands-on.

Bob Smiley: No, no, no. Sorry to interrupt, Jesse, but I meant that's exactly what I'm thinking right now. Unfortunately, I was not thinking about that when we were out on the golf course that day.

Jesse: But Bob, our last episode was all about looking for opportunities to bring joy and encouragement into people's lives. You remember?

Bob Smiley: Oh, I remember, but sports are different, right? I mean, you have to tromp on and beat down your competition.

Jesse: AB, come on.

Bob Smiley: Okay, Jesse, you're right. I really should have seen the opportunity to encourage Donnie, but honestly, even if that was my goal, it wouldn't have gone very well because Donnie was making rude comments the entire time.

Donnie: Hey AB, you hungry?

Bob Smiley: I said no, why?

Donnie: I just wondered why you hit your ball over toward those people eating lunch in their backyard. Heh heh heh.

Jesse: Well, come on, that's not exactly probably how Donnie sounds. But yeah, I get it. It can be frustrating when somebody's making fun of you. But I think this is the perfect time to quote Matthew chapter 5, verses 38 through 39, which says: "You have heard it said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also."

Bob Smiley: That's a good verse, but Donnie was slapping my confidence with his words. And honestly, I don't have another confidence to turn toward him. But I do get what you're saying, Jesse. God doesn't want us to take revenge or to be mean to other people.

But Donnie was being really mean with his words. I already mentioned this, but he kept saying, "A swing and a miss." He said it about 20 times because my ball kept moving around every time I tried to hit it. I think my ball was turning the other cheek and making me miss.

Jesse: I like that. But like I said, it can be frustrating when you're trying to be nice to someone and they continue to be mean to you, but that's what sets us apart from those who don't follow God.

Bob Smiley: Donnie also said I should try out for the swim team since I got so much practice in the water out in the golf course.

Jesse: Well, he was obviously joking about that.

Bob Smiley: What? No, actually he wasn't. And now that I'm thinking about it, it wasn't a bad idea. I had actually dove in all three ponds on the golf course that day by the time he said that. And now that I'm thinking about it, our school swim team does seem to be full of fun kids.

Jesse: Yeah, swimming is great. My little brother is a great swimmer. But you actually went into the water after your golf ball?

Bob Smiley: Yeah, of course. Jesse, golf balls are expensive. And to think Sarah made fun of me for bringing a mask and snorkel when I showed up that morning. Jesse, I left with 28 extra golf balls, so I was already a winner even without an armadillo.

Jesse: And speaking of being a winner, how did you and Sarah actually do in the competition?

Bob Smiley: Okay, that's the part of the story I want to get to. So, we were down three strokes on the 16th hole, according to Sarah. I still didn't know what all that meant, except that I knew we were losing. And there were only two more holes to play.

Jesse: Yes, and just to remind everyone, in golf, the person or team with the lowest score wins.

Bob Smiley: That's right. Man, I wish that was the case for history tests too. I'd be the winner every time. But back to the golf, I was feeling pretty discouraged by the time we got to the 17th hole. And then Sarah said something that really cheered me up.

Jesse: Oh, did she remind you that it doesn't matter if you win or lose, but the whole point of this golf tournament was to have fun and raise money for missions for your church?

Bob Smiley: Oh, that's good. No, not at all. I don't even know if you know Sarah. She is very competitive. She always wants to win, no matter what. Huh, you know what? I wonder if that's why she's friends with me.

Jesse: AB, I don't think Sarah is friends with you so that she'll always win and you'll always lose.

Bob Smiley: Yeah, that's not what I was saying, Jesse. I meant she was friends with me because I'm a winner also. But now you're kind of making me think that maybe Sarah—

Jesse: Just forget what I said. Let's get back to the golf game. What did Sarah tell you that encouraged you?

Bob Smiley: Well, Donnie was getting ready to tee off and Sarah came up and whispered to me. She said, "You know AB, Donnie has too much pride. He thinks he's the best at everything. And people like that, they tend to make mistakes."

And then she added, "For instance, I don't think he realizes that par 3 hole, which is the hole that we were on..." She said, "I don't think he realizes that this par 3 is only 120 yards away. So, he's probably going to hit the ball way too far."

Donnie: Hey AB, get your long-distance running shoes on if you want to see where this ball lands!

Jesse: Ooh, it sounds like Sarah knew exactly what she was talking about.

Bob Smiley: Jesse, she totally called it. There's a huge difference between pride and confidence. And Donnie's pride was taking over and causing him to make mistakes. And sure enough, Donnie stepped up and he hit that ball somewhere—well, probably somewhere in Oklahoma.

Jesse: Donnie's actions remind me of a Bible verse from Proverbs 11. In verse 2, it says: "When pride comes, disgrace follows, but with humility comes wisdom."

Bob Smiley: Oh, that's good. Well, then I was very wise on that hole, Jesse. Sarah and I used our silver slanty clubs to hit our golf balls near the triangle flaggy thing on the green. But by the time we got to the 18th hole, we were only one stroke behind and we actually had a chance of winning this thing.

Jesse: Wow, so Donnie must have really overshot his ball for you guys to catch up that quickly.

Bob Smiley: Oh, he did. Or maybe an armadillo took it. They got lots of armadillos in Oklahoma. Anyway, then on the 18th hole, Sarah and Jenny, they made pretty good drives down the fairway.

Jesse: Fairway.

Bob Smiley: It was a fairway away, but because like I said, they had really good drives. And my drive was pretty good too. I actually got to meet several squirrels while looking for my ball.

But then, when we all finally got to the green, Jesse, it was just like in a movie. All Sarah and I had to do was sink one putt to actually win this thing. So, I was nervous, but I checked the air, I took a deep breath, and I made sure my feet were planted securely on the ground so I was super steady.

The ball started rolling, and at first, I really thought it might swerve too far to the right. But then, at the last minute, it curved and it fell right into the hole, Jesse. We won!

Jesse: That's awesome, AB! I can totally see that. You hit the winning putt?

Bob Smiley: Yes—well, no, actually Sarah hit in the winning putt, but we won. That's the point.

Jesse: Hey, hang on. Then what was all that you talking about taking a deep breath, making sure your feet were planted securely on the ground?

Bob Smiley: Oh, that was because Sarah asked me to film it on her phone and to make sure the video wasn't shaky. I did a great job.

Jesse: I bet you did. And I guess this is a good lesson to always keep your cool even if someone is saying mean things to you. The best way to handle that situation is to ignore it and then just do the best you can.

Bob Smiley: That's right! And to whip Donnie at golf. But yeah, the other thing you said too. In fact, actually let me find this. We got a voicemail from a listener that sort of goes with this stuff that you just said. Oh, here it is. Okay, take a listen.

Carla: Hi Average Boy and Jesse, I love your podcast. I'm Carla from North Carolina, and I love hearing your podcast before I go to bed. Also, I have a funny joke for you that I invented on my own. What did the cow say to the other cow that won the milking contest? "You did udderly awesome." Also, I have a question for you: How can I have self-control and stop fighting with my little siblings? I love your podcast. Bye!

Jesse: Udderly awesome joke, Carla. And thanks for listening to us. AB, any advice for Carla about self-control and not fighting with her siblings?

Bob Smiley: Oh yeah, we get lots of questions about getting along with brothers and sisters. So, first off, here's my question: Are you being nice to your siblings or are you being a Donnie? If you're being a Donnie, then my first suggestion is to just stop.

But even if you are being nice and they're being mean, you can work on your self-control by continuing to be nice to them no matter what they do to you. Or if you find yourself starting to get really angry, my suggestion is just take a break.

I did that with Donnie on the golf course. Well, if I'm being honest, mostly because I had to keep going into the woods to get my ball. But removing yourself from a heated situation can really help you maintain your self-control and give you time to just calm down a bit.

And hopefully two things will slowly happen. One, you'll get better about not letting things bother you as much, like your siblings. And two, hopefully they'll see that you're always being kind to them, so they will hopefully stop being mean to you and maybe even start being nice back. Does that make sense?

Jesse: Yeah, it does. And something that helps me deal with other people is remembering how Jesus forgives me when I do something bad or lose control of my temper. And since we want to be like Jesus, I really need to forgive others just the way that Jesus forgives me.

Bob Smiley: Oh, that's so good. That's what I should have said. Carla, I'm going to go with Jesse's answer. And I hope that helps you.

Jesse: I hope so too. Well, I can see our producer pointing at his watch, so I'll take these last few seconds to remind everyone that the official Average Boy Podcast is a presentation of Focus on the Family.

If you haven't heard our other episodes, you can go back and listen to them all at averageboypodcast.com. And parents, while you're on that website, click on the parents' page to subscribe your Average Boy fan to Focus on the Family Clubhouse Magazine. This award-winning magazine features an award-winning humorous and new Adventures of Average Boy story every month.

Bob Smiley: And just below the Clubhouse Magazine sign-up link, parents can also click on the link to buy my devotional books: Devotions for Super Average Kids Books 1 and 2, or they can get my two new books: Average Boy's Above Average Year and Average Boy's Above Average Summer. All four books are filled with lots of laughs, a lot of funny stories, encouragement, and, most importantly, ways to grow closer to God.

Jesse: Another cool feature on that website is the ability to send in your questions and comments. Anyone can send a message at averageboypodcast.com by clicking on the Ask Average Boy link on the parents' page.

Bob Smiley: And if you're an Adventures in Odyssey fan like me, check out the odysseystudioinsiders.com website. Oh, and look for my cameo in the new film! I know I'm going to be looking for it.

Jesse: And you're going to have to look pretty hard, AB, because you're not going to be in the movie. Well, thanks for listening, everyone. I'm Cameo Bob.

Bob Smiley: And I'm Jesse telling you: Don't be average.

Jesse: Be super average!

Bob Smiley: Seriously, Jesse, I could just be in the background of one of the scenes.