The Alternative

Dr. Tony Evans: The root cause of conflict with God is worldliness. Worldliness is basically any attitude or action that excludes God. It doesn't mean you can't go out and have fun at a ballgame. It means you can't go out and have fun at a ballgame without Him.

Guest (Male): This is the Alternative broadcast featuring the timeless biblical teachings from the archives of Dr. Tony Evans. How can we expect to have an intimate relationship with God when we're carrying on an affair with the world? Today, Dr. Evans talks about that dilemma and what we need to do about it. Let's join him in James chapter four.

Dr. Tony Evans: Worldliness reflects itself in conflict with others. A Christian who lives in perpetual conflict is reflecting their worldliness. He says in verse one, "What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?" They were battling one another as Christians.

That action of conflict reflected something deeper that was wrong, and that is a spirit of worldliness. The reason why we can't fix it is because we are fast to wrath rather than being slow to wrath, and we are secular in our thinking rather than biblical in our approach. All conflict among Christians can be boiled down to worldliness when it is uncontrolled conflict, not a reaction to sin.

That leads to a second point: worldliness stems from conflict within ourselves. Look at what he says in the second part of verse one: "Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel."

They're having all kinds of conflict, all kinds of battles between people, between parents, children, husbands and wives, men and women. James says you're looking in the wrong place. He says outward conflict is caused by inward carnality. The inward carnality is what he calls the source of your pleasures.

This is very important. The word "pleasure" here is where we get our English word "hedonism" from. The concept of pleasure means to be gratified. When we are hedonistic, we live for our own self-satisfaction. That is to be a hedonist. He says outward conflicts with others are designed to produce a pleasure in you.

You want to get this off of your chest. You want to let them know how you feel. "I'm not going to have anybody talking to me like that. He doesn't know who I am." What he says is, when you want to lash out to somebody else, be slow to do that because what you're just revealing is something that is wrong in you.

Now, we don't normally think that way, do we? We say something is wrong with you, and I'm going to help you find out what it is. James says, when you want to lash out in uncontrolled anger and conflict, it is revealing something in you that you want to satisfy. So you must be slow to anger to find out whether what you're trying to satisfy in you is something that ought to be satisfied.

Let me explain something because this gets deep. The proliferation of psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors, clinics, therapists, drug addiction, domestic violence, and abuse can all be traced to something wrong on the inside of the person who has the problem.

Most of the murders that take place are people who are related to somebody else who are in conflict. "I'm not going to have him talking to me that way." It can all be related, James says. Illegitimate conflict can all be related to worldliness within. Until we've identified the conflict within, we'll never fix the crisis without.

Until that husband and wife sit down and say, "Maybe both of us are being worldly, and we need to reassess how we're even approaching this thing." Why did Eve sin? It says in verse six of Genesis 3: "When she saw that the tree was good for food and when she saw that it was desirable to make one wise, she ate."

Eve committed the first sin because of her pleasure. That was a feel-good tree. "I'm going to feel better if I bite this apple, pear, orange, or whatever it was. I'm going to be better." She wanted to satisfy herself. He says it comes from a war within.

That concept of "war" refers to soldiers who are set up inside of you. You have an army set up inside of you, and you are battling with you even though you're taking it out on the world. When a person just cusses to make their point and has no control over their tongue, they're taking out what is messed up in them.

Until you see it's a mess in you, it'll never get fixed. As long as you can play the blame game—and I hope you know we live in a culture that way—the problem is always with somebody else. Hardly anyone is saying, "Let me check and see what's wrong with me." Because he says if you truly understood worldliness, you would understand that's where it grows from.

It comes from uncontrolled desires: hedonism. The Bible uses those kind of phrases to describe the nature of the unregenerate world. Look at 2nd Timothy chapter three, which kind of graphically displays and describes this kind of mentality. Realize this: that in the last days, difficult times will come.

Men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, and here it is: lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God.

Will they be religious? Absolutely, verse five. They hold a form of godliness; they still go to church. Although they have denied its power, avoid such men as these. How many people do we have here who have a form of godliness, but you have no power to control what you say out of your mouth when you get in your car right outside of this door?

But you've got a form of godliness because everybody in here looks godly. You've got godly ties on; ladies, you've got godly makeup on. You just look godly. Praise the Lord, Hallelujah. But there is no power. Why is there no power? Because you haven't started in the right place.

If you know Jesus Christ, you started with everybody out there. Men, as we talk about being men in the kingdom, if our homes are not where they ought to be, we've got to start with ourselves and say, "Now, where have my illegitimate desires caused me to respond to my family in a wrong way?"

It comes from selfish desires. Then he says in verse two, "You lust." That word "lust" has to do with coveting, wanting something and not having it, so you commit murder. They were destroying each other, crucifying each other.

You are envious and cannot obtain. The reason why you fight is because you can't get what you want. That wife won't bow to you, so you fight. That husband won't bow to you, so you fight. It is your way of venting the fact that "I want something I can't get," and what we do is throw spiritual temper tantrums.

Has anybody in here ever had kids throw a temper tantrum? God is saying we throw temper tantrums when we don't get what we want. Then look at what he says: "You have not because you did not ask." Now, that's deep.

God said, "If it's something legitimate and you want it, if you had asked me, I would have given it. But since you wanted it on your own terms, you went to take it." He says you don't ask. Here's the principle: the level of your prayer life will always determine the level of your spiritual success.

You spend three hours fuming that things didn't go your way and thirty seconds praying that God may do something. This is backward. Spend thirty seconds fuming and spend three hours praying, and you might have a solution to your problem.

You have not because you ask not. The worse the conflict gets, the more that's wrong on the inside. The more that's wrong on the inside ought to drive you before the presence of God to say, "God, you fix it. I can't. I'm asking."

You have not because you ask not. God says, "I've made this easy." James 1:5: "If a man lacks wisdom, let him ask of God."

Guest (Male): Dr. Evans will have more on the predicament of worldliness when he continues our message in just a moment. First, though, I want to tell you about a resource package that can help you stay focused on God when the world is pulling you in other directions.

"James: Time to Grow Up" is Tony's 16-message, two-volume series that takes the practical truths from the Book of James and shows us what genuine spiritual maturity looks like in everyday life. For a limited time, if you request the James audio series, we'll also send you Dr. Evans' 30-day devotional book, "Trusting God in Turbulent Times."

These resources offer biblical teaching and daily encouragement to help you strengthen your trust in God as He sees you through both good times and bad. We'd like to send you the package as our thank-you gift when you make a contribution to support The Alternative.

Request this featured package today at tonyevans.org. All the details are right on the homepage. Or give us a phone call at 1-800-800-3222, where one of our friendly team members is ready to help with your request. That's tonyevans.org or call 1-800-800-3222. We'll get back to Dr. Evans and part two of today's message right after this.

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Dr. Tony Evans: It is amazing the measure people will go through to satisfy their pleasures. Absalom was willing to kill his father to get the pleasure of power so that he could occupy the powerful throne over Israel.

Someone's going to say, "I'm in a battle with this coworker, this brother, or my family. I have prayed about this thing a lot. I have not just given a tertiary prayer; I have gone into God's presence, fasted, and prayed about this thing, and this thing is still as bad as ever."

Well, James has a verse for you: verse three. "You ask, and you still do not receive." How come? "Because you ask with wrong motives so that you may spend it on your pleasures."

He says you have one of two problems. You either don't ask—your prayer life is nonexistent—or you ask, but your motivation is wrong because what you're asking God to do is accommodate your sin.

In other words, what's motivating you isn't the righteous glory of God; it is your own selfish end. You don't want to come out of this what's right. If you get on your knees and say, "Lord, get me out of this marriage," He will not answer. That's the wrong prayer.

"Lord, change me so that I'm the right kind of mate in this marriage." Now He'll talk to you. If you pray the wrong prayer, you will not get an answer. You say, "How do I know the right prayer from the wrong prayer?" Very simple: what glory will God get out of it?

Simple as that. Every time you pray, you answer the question, "What glory will God get out of it?" I guarantee you, you will see answers to your prayers like you've never dreamed because God has included you in His family for His own glory, not to give you a feel-good deity.

God says, "I hear your prayers, but I don't hear where I'm going to get anything out of what you're asking for. It's all you, you, you, you, you." I don't mind blessing you; I just want to know that you're not wanting my blessing and not wanting me.

That my glory is not attached to it. God wants His glory attached to it. He says you have a diseased prayer life because it's only on your pleasures, what makes you feel good, what makes you better off.

It's not that I mind doing it, but every parent who helps their child wants to know it's appreciated. We don't mind helping our children, but you want to know it's appreciated. God feels very unappreciated.

That leads to a third point: worldliness results in conflict with God. When you have this worldly attitude of selfishness, you have a big problem. His name is God. "You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God."

If you've got this other love on the side called the world, God says, "How then can you expect Him to be intimate with you?" The root cause of conflict with God is worldliness, which He calls spiritual infidelity because it is breaking of a covenant.

Adultery in the Bible was always tied to idolatry: worship of another God. God wants to have not only a legal relationship with you; He wants to have an affectionate, intimate relationship with you.

But He says, "I can't be intimate with you when you are intimate with this other love called the world because this world wants to leave me out." Suppose you took your wife or your husband out to dinner and said, "Now look, I'm going to sit at this table, but you sit over there because I don't want anybody in here to know we're together. I'm going to pay for your food, but you just sit at that table and I'll sit at this table."

Well, suppose you're riding in the car and you say, "Honey, you sit in the back seat. I'm going to sit up front because people might think we're together if they see you sitting in the front seat." And on and on and on. That would not be appreciated.

God does not appreciate it when we are bringing this other entity into our relationship with Him. It produces hostility. There is a breakdown in our relationship with God, and God becomes our enemy.

Now, you don't want God as your enemy. Because if God is your enemy, everything you start, He's going to keep from you ever getting finished. Every time you try to go two steps forward, He's going to take you three steps back.

Every time you try to move ahead, something is going to go wrong because He's your enemy now. I believe He's clearly talking about Christians where Christians can place themselves where they are at enmity with God by their compromise in their lifestyle.

Jesus says in John 15, verses 13 to 19—read it when you get a chance—"I want to be your friend." I want this intimate association with you. He calls His disciples to friendship; He calls us to friendship.

He does not want us to leave the world; He does not want us to go out into some foreign place. But He wants us to be like fish in salty water. Fish can swim in salty water but come out not tasting salt. God expects us to swim in this world without tasting worldly.

2nd Timothy 4:10 talks about a friend of Paul who served with him in the ministry. But then Paul says Demas, having loved this present world, and God will repay him. He forsook Paul—we don't know why—but whatever it was, he left God for the world, and Paul says he will be repaid.

Friendship with the world leads us to be spotted by the world, resulting in us loving the world so that we're conformed to the world that we might be condemned with the world. Look at verse five: "Or do you think that the scripture speaks to no purpose?"

Do you think the scripture's just wasting its time when it teaches? "He jealously desires the spirit which He has made to dwell in us." God is a jealous lover. There is no room for anyone else. He wants you all to Himself. He paid for this deal on the life of His son, and He wants you all to Himself.

Does that mean you can't go out and enjoy something? No, it means you can't enjoy it without Him. Does that mean you can't go out and have fun at a ballgame? No, it means you can't go out and have fun at a ballgame without Him.

Does that mean you can't enjoy good music? No, it means you can't enjoy good music without Him. God doesn't mind music; even secular music isn't bad. The question is, can God listen to it too? Is He popping His fingers as much as I'm popping mine?

Because I see some of you driving down the street. The question is, is God popping His fingers as much as you're popping yours? The question is, is He included or is He excluded? Because He says, "I am jealous. The Holy Spirit, which I have made to live in you, is grieved when I am excluded."

And then He closes with the power-packed verse, verse six: "But on the other hand, He gives a greater grace." That's sweet. He gives a greater grace. Do you know what that means? Grace is God's unmerited favor.

Do you know what He does? To those people who will make Him their only love, He will open up the windows of heaven and let you experience His grace. He gives a greater grace. It means He's got more to give than you could ever imagine if you would love Him only.

Therefore, what's the bottom line? God is opposed to the proud, but He gives grace to the humble. That's the bottom line. Now he introduces the word "pride" because it's selfishness that's based on pride. Pride is self-love.

It's like the woodpecker who was pecking at a tree, lightning struck, knocked the tree over, and the woodpecker said, "Look what I did." Pride is taking credit for what God does. He is opposed to the proud.

It's a military term; He is setting up an army against you. Proverbs 6:16 and 17: pride ranks among the chief sins that God recognizes. Why? Because it was the first sin of Satan when he rebelled against God.

Every time we act independently of God, we remind God of the devil. Isaiah 13:11 says, "I will put an end to the arrogance of the proud." But He will give more grace. Satan is the ultimate do-it-yourselfer.

Many of us as Christians are like a bride who just gets married who is more in love with the ring than the bridegroom. What would you think about a wife who was more in love with the ring than the bridegroom? And we're more in love with the stuff than the God who gives it.

God doesn't give us stuff so that we can love the stuff more than Him. And let me tell you, one day you're going to need Him, and you won't be able to buy out the mess you're in. All the money in the bank won't fix it.

One day you're going to need Him for only what He can do. The question is, will there be something in your heart He can respond to?

Guest (Male): Dr. Tony Evans, wrapping up today's lesson with a reminder to stay focused on what's most important. Now, if you'd like to spend more time with the truths we've been learning, you can get Tony's complete two-volume, 16-message series, "James: Time to Grow Up," on CD, USB flash drive, or digital download.

The collection includes today's lesson in its full-length form, along with additional material we haven't had time to present on the broadcast. As I mentioned earlier, along with the complete James audio collection, we'll also include Dr. Evans' 30-day devotional, "Trusting God in Turbulent Times."

They're all yours as our thank-you gift when you make a contribution to support the ministry. Together, these resources will help you deepen your faith, expand your biblical perspective, and keep you anchored in God's truth, even when the world around you feels uncertain.

Visit tonyevans.org or call 1-800-800-3222 today to make your request. Again, that's tonyevans.org or by phone at 1-800-800-3222. The Declaration of Independence talks about the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

But pursuing something is no guarantee you'll get it. Tomorrow, Dr. Evans will help us find ways to make our pursuit of God more successful. Be sure to join us for that.