The Alternative

Dr. Tony Evans: There has been a divine selection of you, mister. That is to fulfill God’s purposes in history. In other words, you have a destiny.

Guest (Male): Dr. Tony Evans says destiny begins with leading your family toward faith.

Dr. Tony Evans: You said you wanted to be the man? Man up! Own the responsibility if you’re going to call yourself a man.

Guest (Male): This is The Alternative broadcast, featuring the timeless biblical teachings from the archives of Dr. Tony Evans. Fathers, if your kids are failing or floundering, Dr. Evans says you not only have the power but also the responsibility to do something about it. Today, he’ll explain what that something is as he paints us a portrait of a kingdom dad. Let’s join him.

Dr. Tony Evans: I want to challenge the men in particular, all of us in general, from pulpit to pew and back again, what it means to be a kingdom dad. These are difficult times. These are times of crisis, and they can be attributed to the absenteeism of fathers as the single greatest crisis. No wonder the devil wants to get rid of dads, because if he can get rid of dads, he can destroy tomorrow.

In Genesis chapter 18, those were bad times. Those were tough times because Genesis 18 and 19 deals with Sodom and Gomorrah, where men had given up their roles and responsibilities. But in the middle of the mess, in the midst of the chaos, in the context of the confusion, God makes a statement in verse 19: "For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him."

God speaks about a man, Abraham, and he speaks through that man to the men here today, starting with me, about what it means to be a kingdom dad. He says three things that I want to share with you. First of all, he wants you to know you have a destiny. He begins verse 19 with the phrase, "I have chosen him." He’s been divinely selected. He’s not just here; he’s here for a divine purpose because God says, "I have chosen him."

If you’re a man here and you’re a Christian, you have been selected and elected for a reason. You’re not just supposed to live here, pass out, and die. He says, "I have chosen him, and I have a reason for choosing him." To be chosen in the Bible is to be selected to fulfill a task. To be chosen doesn’t simply mean I’m going to heaven when I die. To be chosen means God has a work for you on earth until you die.

To be chosen means that there is a divinely ordained reason for being, that God has purposed for you as a man, something in spite of the degradation of the culture in which you find your manhood located. He says, "I have chosen you." You have a purpose to fulfill. You have a job to complete. You have a responsibility.

The definition of a kingdom man is a male who has learned to operate under the rule of God in his life. I have chosen him to be that kind of man. He’s been selected. You have been created and chosen, mister, for a divinely ordained purpose because God has chosen him. "I have chosen him," the King has chosen him to represent Him.

What did He choose him to do? Verse 18 tells you. It says, "Since Abraham will surely become a great nation, a mighty nation, and in him all the nations will be blessed." Guess what you’ve been chosen to do? You’ve been chosen to be blessed so that you might be a blessing. Because in the Bible, a blessing is what God does to you that He can also flow through you. If it can't flow through you, He’s not that interested in flowing to you.

You have been selected for a purpose that is divine in design, where heaven wants to visit history through you. He says, "I’m going to make of Abraham not something in some far by and by. I’m going to do something through him in the nasty here and now." Come on, enough of you watched Super Bowl 43. That’s when the Pittsburgh Steelers were driving the field with two minutes and 30 seconds left in the game.

As they got close to the end zone seeking to win the game, Ben Roethlisberger calls a play to Santonio Holmes in the end zone. Santonio Holmes comes to the edge of the end zone, reaches high, grabs the ball with his feet planted inbounds in the end zone to win Super Bowl 43. In order to win it, he had to stretch high but touch low. He had to go as high as he could to grab the ball without losing touch with the ground inbounds.

If he would have caught the ball with his feet not touching below, it would have been no good. If he were touching below but didn't catch the ball, it would have been no good. Because in order to be a winner, he had to reach high while simultaneously touching low. What God is looking for is a group of kingdom men who reach heaven while touching earth so that they score touchdowns for the kingdom of God, who go high but don’t leave low, who are not so heavenly minded they’re no earthly good, but who are not so earthly minded they’re no heavenly good.

They’re able to do both at the same time: touch heaven while being grounded on earth. Our challenge today is the absence of men who fail at the biblical definition of manhood, which at its core means you’re responsible even if you’re not to blame. If you call yourself the man, you’re responsible even if it’s not your fault.

Manhood equals responsibility. God didn't say, "Adam and Eve, where are y'all?" He said, "Adam, where are you? I’m holding you responsible, even though your wife started this mess. You said you wanted to be the man? Man up! Own the responsibility if you’re going to call yourself a man."

He says, "Abraham, I have chosen you," because God’s covenant was passed down from father to son. Not because women were not important. It was because the man was responsible. "I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." Wherever you see it, that’s how it comes out: man to son to grandson, because the men would be responsible. That’s why hell wants to remove the men, to remove those who would ultimately be responsible.

So that women would have to fend for themselves, try to be mother and father, being overloaded. Praise God some have stood up to the task. A divine destiny, God-built destiny. Now, what are you supposed to do with this calling, this sense of destiny? He tells you in verse 19, "So that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice."

He says your responsibility is to command your children and your household after you, because you the man. You are to command your children and your household after you. It’s called follow the leader. Our problem is we have a generation of kids with no man to follow. So what they do is either follow themselves or follow fools.

He says the father’s job is to command his children and his household after him, to lead his sons and daughters so that his boys know what a man looks like and his girls know which men to fool with and which men not to. Because he commands his children after him. He sets in motion a kingdom-based understanding of manhood so that his kids can observe it, see it, watch it, follow it. Not that you’re perfect—we’re not—it’s just that you’re responsible.

Notice the word "command." Command is you call the shots. You lead the way. Let’s get this straight. If you’re a man and you have kids, you are responsible to set in motion the pattern that they follow. So, if your kids are fools, that’s your responsibility. If they go on crazy, that’s your responsibility. If they are rebelling, that’s your responsibility, because you are to command your kids after you.

"My kids don’t want to do what I tell them." Excuse me, why did they have a choice if it was legitimate? But what we’re talking about is we’re having a generation of children who are telling their parents what to do. He says it’s the father’s job. He commands his children after him. He sets a standard by which they’re to operate.

Guest (Male): Dr. Evans will give us an example of what happens when that standard isn’t set when he continues our message in just a moment. Don’t go away.

Guest (Female): Get ready to set sail for spiritual renewal. Join Dr. Tony Evans on a relaxing seven-day Caribbean cruise departing February 28th. You’ll experience powerful teaching, meaningful worship, and the beauty of unforgettable destinations, from the turquoise waters of the Bahamas to the shores of the Dominican Republic. Each stop and every day at sea offers time to relax, reflect, and be renewed. Don’t miss this unforgettable journey. Find out how to book your passage today at tonyevans.org.

Guest (Male): Before we return to our message, I’d like to tell you about a pair of resources that can help you build a stronger spiritual foundation at home. The first is Tony’s two-volume, 13-message series, *Parenting on Purpose*. In these messages, Dr. Evans shares biblical wisdom for dealing with the real-world challenges families face today while helping parents raise children who know what they believe and why they believe it.

We’d like to send you this complete audio collection as our thank-you gift when you make a donation to support the Alternative broadcast ministry. Alongside the *Parenting on Purpose* messages, we’ll also include Tony’s highly-regarded book, *Raising Kingdom Kids*. It’s filled with practical insights that can help parents intentionally shape the character, values, and spiritual direction of their children. This special resource package is available when you visit tonyevans.org to get the details. Or call us anytime at 1-800-800-3222. That’s 1-800-800-3222. I’ll repeat that information for you a little later in the program. Right now, here’s Dr. Evans with more of today’s message.

Dr. Tony Evans: A father took his son to the toy store to get him something at Toys "R" Us. He told the proprietor, "Would you walk with my son and help him find a toy?" The proprietor said, "Yeah, I’d be glad to." He took the son up one aisle and said, "Hey, this would be nice." The son said, "No, I don’t like that." Took him up here—"No, I don’t like that." Took him down another aisle—"No, I don’t like that."

The proprietor said, "Well, I think you’d enjoy this. This is for kids your age." "No, I don’t like that." This went on for an hour and a half. "Why can't you find something for my child?" The proprietor said, "Because what your child needs, we don’t sell here." But what we have done, what too many men have done, is we’ve outsourced fathering. We’ve outsourced it to television and video games. We’ve outsourced it to government. We’ve outsourced it to the church. We’ve outsourced it.

So instead of owning it, how could you think of having another man raise your kids? That I’m going to let another man invest 18 years of his life into the kids I birthed? He says it is his responsibility to care for his children, to command them. Nobody should date your daughter and not come through you. Because 1 Corinthians 7 says that the father must okay the male in her life.

She doesn’t get to okay it if she’s under your provision and protection apart from you. Why? Because you're supposed to know how a man thinks, how a man works, how a man talks, how a man walks, and how a man lies. That’s your responsibility. But how can you take it if you’re nowhere to be located? To command his children after him. But watch this, it goes on to say, "and his household," his children and his household.

Look at chapter 17, verses 25 to 27. "And Ishmael his son was 13 years old when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin. In the very same day, Abraham was circumcised and Ishmael his son. All the men of his household who were born in the house or bought with money from a foreigner were circumcised with him." Because circumcision was the covering. Because it was through the man that the generations would come.

He says, "I want you to train them in righteousness and justice." For far too many men, making the team is more important than making the kingdom. You’ll make sure you’re at the game but not make sure you’re at the PTA meeting because our priorities are messed up. Yes, go to the game, love the game, but don’t skip the education, don’t skip the responsibility.

And then finally he says, "that I might bring upon Abraham that which I have spoken about him" in verse 19. "That I might bring upon Abraham that which I have spoken about him." What did he speak about Abraham? Verse 18: "I’m going to make of him a great nation." That’s what he said. He said, "I’m speaking greatness into his life." So let me speak some greatness.

Mister, in case you didn't know it, let me inform you, you were created to be great. Let me tell you something. God’s calling on your life is always bigger than you can see. Because if all you see is what you see, you do not see all there is to be seen. God’s calling on your life is bigger than you can see. And Abraham was a rich man. Abraham was filthy rich, the Bible tells us.

He was filthy rich and fully lost until God got a hold of him. So your destiny is bigger than your bank account, is bigger than your title, is bigger than your job description. He had plenty of money, but you can be an educated fool and a rich idiot. He says, "I have chosen you to be a great nation under Me. I have chosen to build the nation Israel off of you."

When God calls a man to something, He calls a man to something bigger than the man can see. Now, it’s not going to all be the same thing or be at the same level. That’s why I like what Martin Luther King says. Martin Luther King says even if you are a trash collector, be the best one. Be a great trash collector because you’ve been called to greatness.

He tells Abraham, "I’m going to make you great." He told David, "I’m going to make you great." Jesus told his disciples, "If you want to be great..." He didn't tell them not to be great. You’re to think great, want to be great, not to be satisfied to be less than great. It’s just greatness under God, not greatness independent of God. Not worldly greatness so that people give you 15 minutes of fame and they kick you to the curb when you can't help them anymore.

That’s not what he’s talking about. He’s talking about greatness for eternity and for the benefit of history. And you have been called to be great, and that’s called dominion. He told Adam, "I’ve called you to rule." He told Joseph, "I’m going to make you second in command in Egypt." He told Daniel that he was going to be the man in Babylon. He’s told man after man in Scripture, "I’m going to make something of you."

"Peter, I know you only know fish. Follow Me. I’m going to make you fishers of men. I’m going to do something greater with you." So don’t you tell me, "I’m just another man." You’re not another man. You’ve been chosen. That means greatness rests on your head. You have been crowned with glory, the Bible says. As a man, what God is after is men becoming men of the kingdom, of men who are representing something bigger than yourself.

But notice how he says it: "that I might bring upon Abraham that which I have spoken to him." In other words, "I’m not going to bring it to him until he’s ready for it. I’m not going to bring it to him just because I have it for him. I’m not going to bring it to him until he mans up and takes responsibility for the stuff he knows to do, starting with his children and his household. Because if he’s not even going to take care of the folk in his house, why should I be talking to him about getting to the White House?"

People talking about the White House and ain't even taking care of their house. He says, "Then I will bring it to him." So don’t be going to God to bless you while you abandon your children. Don’t be going to God to bless you while you walk away from your family. Don’t be going to God to bless you while you don’t take care of your responsibility. He says, "Then I will bring upon Abraham that which I have promised to do for him."

Then and only then. So God had to wait till he got right to do right by him. And guess what? God will take as long as it takes. Because He does not want your opportunity to outstrip your character. He wants the person that He blesses to be worthy of the blessing that has been shared with them. And He has called you to greatness. You are supposed to be a leader. Your position calls for it.

"Well, I wasn't born to be a leader, and I never saw anybody be a leader, and I don’t know how to be a leader." Oh, shut up. That’s all true. You weren't born to be one, you didn't have one, your daddy left you. All that. Okay, now that we got that over with, let’s talk about your responsibility. Because we ain't going to spend years whining. You’ve been called to be great. God says you’ve been called to be great.

He’s called you to be great, and so you’re supposed to step out there and say, "As for me and my house," Joshua 24:15, "we going to serve the Lord." He told everybody else, "I don’t care what y'all do. That’s not how we roll up in here, up in here, up in here." So that I might bring upon Abraham even in the midst of a putrid Sodom and Gomorrah.

That’s why we’re such a focus on men. Ladies, we’re not going to leave you out. We got a plan that includes the ladies. But forgive me for starting with the men, because if I get them straight, you’ll want to be straight. When you become God’s man in your culture, you may not be the most popular guy. When you become God’s man holding God’s standard, everybody’s not going to applaud you, and you’re going to have a bunch of folk booing you.

But when you represent the right kingdom and use the resources that are available to you, you can stand in the midst of hell, and you can take off, and you can run, and you can accomplish great things for God. Because you have been created to be great. You’ve been called to be a kingdom man.

Guest (Male): Dr. Evans will return in a moment to wrap up our time together with a word of prayer. First, though, there’s a lot more to today’s lesson than we had time to present on the air. So check on getting a full-length copy of this lesson titled "Portrait of a Kingdom Dad." It’s just one part of Tony’s practical series called *Parenting on Purpose*. This two-volume, 13-message collection explores what it means to build a Christ-centered home and raise children who are equipped to stand strong in their faith.

And for a limited time, when you make a donation and request the *Parenting on Purpose* audio series, we’ll also include Tony’s popular companion book, *Raising Kingdom Kids*. Together, these resources can help you approach parenting with greater confidence, wisdom, and purpose. Find out more today at tonyevans.org or call our resource center at 1-800-800-3222. Team members are available 24 hours a day to assist you. That’s 1-800-800-3222.

And one final reminder: in addition to these daily lessons from Dr. Evans on the Alternative broadcast, he also leads meaningful, timely discussions with special guests on his Unbound podcast. You can listen to those conversations whenever and wherever you hear your favorite podcasts. It’s been said that true leadership is the art of guiding others with integrity, humility, and vision. And that’s part and parcel to the biblical instruction for spiritual leadership in the family. But tomorrow, Dr. Evans points out that merely calling yourself a leader is quite different from actually functioning as a leader. Right now, though, as promised, here’s Dr. Evans to wrap up our time together with a word of prayer.

Dr. Tony Evans: Let’s pray. Father, I thank You for the word of God that goes forth through this ministry and for every ear that hears it. I pray that You will use the word in the life of each person individually so that they know that they are hearing from You and are transformed by what they hear. I pray that transformation touches them at their place of need.

Wherever they’re hurting, struggling, wherever they’re in pain, or wherever they’re celebrating, may You be the center of that, and may they be able to say because of the word that they’ve heard and because of the true God that they’re interacting with right now, that You have showed up and showed off on their behalf, doing good by them no matter what their circumstances happen to be. Thank You for how You’re going to touch every listener today in Your own special way. In Jesus' name, amen.