The Alternative

Dr. Tony Evans: Do not repay evil for evil. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord.

Guest (Male): Dr. Tony Evans talks about what God expects of us when we've been wronged.

Dr. Tony Evans: Forgiveness is not pretending like it didn't happen. Forgiveness is the decision to release a debt in spite of how you feel.

Guest (Male): This is The Alternative broadcast, featuring the timeless biblical teachings from the archives of Dr. Tony Evans.

Of all the people we'd want to invest in, you'd think our adversaries would be at the bottom of our list. But today, Dr. Evans talks about the gift we give our enemies that turns out to be a gift that comes back to us. Let's join him as he explains.

Dr. Tony Evans: Romans chapter 12 starts off with the big gift to God. God says when the offering plate passes, you jump in it. Present your body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God, which is your spiritual service of worship. God wants all of you.

But he comes to this final message, and he's going to talk about something that is not going to be comfortable. Because now he's going to talk to us about giving to our enemies. Giving to our friends, that's pretty easy. Giving the folk you don't like, Houston, that's a problem.

Now, the reason why this comes last in the chapter is because if you haven't first given to God, you ain't going to do nothing for nobody who you don't like. But yet he concludes this chapter with an extensive section that when you are properly related to him, flowing out properly related to others, you can even give to the people who you are at odds with.

How many people here by the raising of your hands are still carrying the scars of a wound against you that's happened at some point in your life? You're still scarred from that pain, that wound. Hands going up all over. You're still bearing the scab of the mistreatment, of the abuse, of the desertion, of the betrayal. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair.

You didn't deserve it. You didn't ask for it, and yet it has wounded you. Not only has it affected you perhaps physically, but emotionally. Perhaps it's affected your relationships with other people because of what happened to you. You kind of now questioning everything and everybody. Maybe you're living with discouragement, depression, or anger.

It is in verse 14 that Jesus through the apostle Paul speaks these uncomfortable words. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. He says, I want you to bless them and not curse them, not condemn them, not call down judgment upon them. Now, that ain't natural.

The word bless here is the Greek word for eulogy, and it means to speak kindly concerning. It is praise rather than condemnation. Now, we shouldn't be surprised that Jesus would say that because it was Jesus who on the cross said, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do." It was Stephen in Acts 7 who was being stoned to death who said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Forgiveness is not pretending like it didn't happen. Forgiveness is not acting like it wasn't real and that it doesn't hurt. That's called lying. If it happened, it happened, and if it hurt, it hurt. But forgiveness is a decision of the will to no longer charge the bill.

Forgiveness is the decision to release a debt in spite of how you feel. Forgiveness does not start with a feeling. People often ask, "How do I know if I've really forgiven?" Simple: you're not continually charging the account. In other words, you're not relating to them based on what they did.

Now, there's a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. You can forgive people, but it may take a while to reconcile with them. That's different, and we'll explain that difference a little later. But right now, it is the decision of the will to release the debt incurred by the other person.

Why? Because until you release the debt, you're still carrying the charge. He says in verse 15, "Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep." He's telling you in verse 15 how to do verse 14. Most people quote verse 15 about people they like.

I don't mind rejoicing with your rejoicing if I like you, and I don't mind crying with your tears if I like you. But if you've been trying to do me in, if you've been trying to mess over me, if you've been trying to hurt me, then I'm going to get mad if you're happy. And if you're crying, I'm going to find another reason to get more tears.

And yet he says to the one who has persecuted you, who hasn't done right by you, I want you to be real practical. If something happens in their life that makes them happy, I want you to join them in their joy. And if something happens in their life that makes them sad, I want you to join them in their sorrow.

Now, you can't do this if you haven't done verse one and two. Because if you haven't given yourself to God, ain't no way you're going to give yourself to the enemy. He's not saying ignore the reality. He's not saying lie and pretend it didn't happen. He's talking about how you are treating them in spite of how they have treated you.

In fact, he goes on to say at the end of verse 16, "Do not be wise in your own estimation." Don't appeal to human opinion to address the situation, your own thoughts. Wise in your own estimation, don't think you know how to do this. Don't think you know how to deal with this.

I know you got your human emotions going. I know you've got the reality of the circumstance you're facing in, but don't lean to your own understanding here because we're operating on another plane. Remember, you've given yourself to God. You've got a sober self-assessment of yourself.

Remember, you're relating properly to other believers, people you like. But now there's another group of people out there that you don't want to have nothing to do with because of what they have done. They have persecuted you, they have harmed you, they have dishonored you, they have abused you. And yet he says, "Bless and don't curse."

In fact, he goes deeper in verse 17. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. What messes with me are the two bookends of that line: never and anyone. Because, God, you got to allow me sometimes. Sometimes I just got to get it out. I just got to get the words in my mind; you might as well let me say them. I just got to get it out.

But he comes with something that just doesn't seem real. He says, never. Never pay back. "I'm going to get you. You did that to me, I'm going to get you. You ain't going to know when." He says, "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone," which means your situation is not an exception.

So this is deep, uncomfortable, and if the truth be told, unfair. Because in this scenario, I've been the one messed over, not the one doing the messing. But God says to not do that. That is, what he doesn't want you to do is seek personal retaliation. That's what he's discussing: personal retaliation.

What he is not saying is don't use legal means to deal with the problem. If somebody stole from you, chapter 13 says that the government exists to deal with wrong. So he's not dealing with the things you've got to deal with legally to address a problem.

He's talking about getting even personally, seeking what he calls your own revenge. This is personal retaliation. He says don't seek personal retaliation. He goes on to say, but leave room for the wrath of God. For it is written, "Vengeance is mine. I will repay," says the Lord.

One of the reasons God may not have dealt with your enemy yet is you might be in the way. Don't seek your own revenge. Leave room for the wrath of God. Translation: God can get them better than you can. But if you seek your own revenge, you've canceled out room for the wrath of God. Because if you're going to take care of it, why should he?

Now, I know what you're feeling. God, you taking too long. And God, you ain't hurt them enough. Because if you let me at them, I would do double what you just did. I understand that. That is the natural human emotion. But yet God says, I want you to leave room.

Get out of the way. Stop blocking my involvement in addressing that person who did you in. He's not talking about not using the law if it's a legal problem or not using a legitimate structure. He's talking about your own revenge. That is personal retaliation. "I'm going to get you."

Repaying evil for evil, he says you are not to do that because God didn't miss what they did. He didn't miss how they did it, and he didn't miss how it affects you. He has not missed that. But you must not get in the way of God by your personal retaliation.

Guest (Male): Dr. Evans will return with a real-life illustration of that idea in just a moment. First, though, I want to tell you about a great pair of resources we put together as a way to follow up on what we're learning. It starts with all six full-length lessons in our current series, Return on Investment.

It also includes the companion study guide that makes it perfect for use with your small group or personal devotions. Best of all, we're offering this Return on Investment study package as our thank-you gift when you make a contribution to keep this listener-supported broadcast coming your way. But this offer will only be available for a few more days now.

So visit us right away at TonyEvans.org or call our 24-hour resource center at 1-800-800-3222 for details before time runs out. I'll have our contact information for you again after part two of today's lesson.

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Dr. Tony Evans: In football, in basketball, there are officials. Those are the legal representatives of the league to orderly oversee the play on the field or court. If a player fouls another player and the player who's fouled turns around and hits the one who fouled him, he will be judged too.

Wait a minute, he hit me first! He fouled me first! Why you going to get mad at me? Because the official's going to say, "That's why I'm here. If he messed over you, I'm here to take care of him." You are not to take matters into your own hand.

So you get penalized too, or you get put out with him even though he started it, because there has been an official on the court who has been assigned to assess the penalty. But if you take matters into your own hands because he hit you first, pushed you first, and tripped you first, not only will he get judged, but you'll get judged for being out of order.

Because there has been an authorized person to address that. When you take matters illegitimately into your own hands, you've taken the place of official God. And so you wind up in the same bucket as the person who messed over you because you've become evil like them, even though they started it.

He says, "Do not repay evil for evil. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord." I'd be interested to know how many of you have plotted to pay back. It's like the woman who found a jar coming off the ocean, and she opened it up, and out comes this fog and a genie pops out of the bottle.

And the genie says, "Because you let me out, I will grant you three wishes and then I will double whatever you ask for in the life of somebody else." She said, "Well, I want you to give me my three wishes and double it in the life of my husband who just left me."

She said, "Number one, I want a million dollars." Poof, a million dollars is right in front of her. And her husband looks down, and he's a long way away, and there are two million dollars that pops up in front of him. "What's your wish number two?"

"Number two, I want a 10-carat diamond." Poof, 10-carat diamond shows up. Husband a long way away, poof, he finds 20-carat diamond. He says, "Well, what is your third request?" She said, "My third request is to scare me half to death." Take your time. Take your time.

Gentleman who is sick, he went to the doctor. Doctor checked him out. He had been bitten by a dog only to discover he has rabies. He picks out a pad and starts writing on the pad in the doctor's office. Doctor says, "Oh no, no, no. We can heal you. You don't have to write out your will. We can heal you."

Old man said, "I wasn't writing out the will. I was just writing out the names to everybody I want to bite." Because we want vengeance. We want to get back at the people who have hurt us. Vengeance is mine. I know how to pay. And I know how to pay back, and I know when to pay.

Verse 20, he gets practical again. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. Don't tell him, "I hope you starve." If your enemy is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head. The principle of burning coals was an Egyptian habit of putting hot coals on a pan on the head of somebody to burn out wrong thinking.

That's where the picture comes from of these hot coals in a pan they would wear to burn out wrong thinking. If you want to burn out the wrong thinking of your enemy, put some coals on his head. And he says the coals you will put on his head is doing the opposite to what he would expect.

The opposite to what she expects. She expects, he expects for you to do them in. He says instead of that, you find out he's hungry, cook them a meal. He's thirsty, give them a drink. That's going to mess up his mind. That's putting hot coals on it. He won't know what to do with that kind of heat because that's not what he expects.

That's not what she expects. She expects you to go the other way. She expects you to throw a hissy fit. She expects you to be mad and not speak. That's what they expect given the problem. But you throw them a curveball. Now, he's already said, "As much as is within you."

Now, I know what you're saying. Ain't much. Ain't got much. As much as you can, you are to relate to your enemies this way. That is the extra effort. There are some people who have been wounded by other people. Perhaps they are here, perhaps they're in your house, perhaps on your job, perhaps in your neighborhood.

And God is asking you to change your approach. Why? He's asking you to change your approach because verse 21 says that you overcome evil with good. You don't overcome evil by being evil too. Those of us who grew up in the civil rights era are well aware there were two dominant forces fighting for rights. There was Martin Luther King and there were the Black Panthers.

The Black Panthers' position was we're going to fight fire with fire. We're going to fight back. We're going to put our arsenal in, only to discover that their arsenal only created a bigger arsenal over here. And here comes Martin Luther King Jr. preaching this thing called love, marching peacefully, breaking the back of a Jim Crow South.

There are Martin Luther King parades all over because he was able to break the back of evil by being good to bad people. In South Africa, Nelson Mandela, incarcerated for almost 30 years. He comes out and he's in a no-win position because the Blacks want revolution, the whites want to maintain segregation.

And he comes out using a soccer field to bring people together and says we will not live in anger and in animosity. We will overcome this. And as a result of his approach, South Africa achieved in a few years what it hadn't achieved in its whole history.

Because God knows what he will be involved with and God knows what he won't be involved with. And like it or not, God forgives. Don't burn a bridge over which one day you will need to cross. Somebody may have done something to you and that is terrible, that is wicked, that is evil.

I hurt for what they did and its effect on you. But look closely at you. Have you done anything to somebody else that's hurt them? And will you need the mercy that the other person who hurt you needed? Don't burn down a bridge you may need to cross over yourself.

And that's why when Jesus talked about forgiveness, he says if you want your heavenly Father to forgive you, then make sure you have given to others what you are going to need him to do for you.

Guest (Male): Dr. Evans will return in a moment with a final thought to wrap up today's message on giving to your enemy. The complete full-length version is available, including plenty of material we didn't have time to present on the air. So check with us for details on getting a copy.

Better yet, you can receive this lesson as a part of Tony's current series, Return on Investment. And as I mentioned earlier, if you contact us right away, you can get all six messages in this collection on CD, USB flash drive, or digital download along with the personal and group study guide that goes with it, all as our thank-you gift when you support Tony's ministry with a contribution.

Contact us at TonyEvans.org for the details. That's TonyEvans.org or call 1-800-800-3222 and let one of our team members help you. Again, that number 1-800-800-3222. And a quick reminder that you can hear Dr. Evans in a completely different setting on his Unbound podcast.

These candid conversations between Tony and his guests can be listened to anytime, wherever you get your podcasts. You can't grow what you don't sow. It's as simple as that. Tomorrow, Dr. Evans talks about planting grace seeds and the return God promises when we do. Right now though, he's back to wrap up today's message with his closing thought.

Dr. Tony Evans: Now, I know what I'm saying is not popular because it goes against our nature. But that's why he starts off with giving yourself to God because that allows you to live based on a new nature, based on a new reality. I am not suggesting you skip it, you ignore it, you don't talk to the person about it, you don't seek restoration from it.

I am not saying we're going to dismiss wrong. I am saying we're not to let it control our lives and our decisions. That what that person did to you five years ago ought not be ruining your life today. But if you're still holding on to it and trying to be God, even though you have no power to change it, then you're blocking God from doing what he wants to do for you.