Telling the Truth

Guest (Male): This is Telling the Truth, the ministry of Stuart and Jill Briscoe. Today we have a special treat for you as guest speaker Charles Price begins his message, Christians and Sexual Behavior. Stay tuned. Charles will get started with that insightful message in a minute, but first, a word from Stuart.

Stuart Briscoe: Charles Price came into our lives as a young teenager in England. He was an outstanding young man with a great heart for God and a great desire to get into ministry, which is precisely what he did. In addition to his Bible school leadership and his international preaching, he then became the senior pastor, the lead pastor of People's Church in Toronto, Canada. Now I hope you will welcome him into your hearing opportunities and your meditation on God's word. Welcome, Charles Price.

Guest (Male): In their two-message series, Worry Less, Stuart and Jill Briscoe help you break free from worry and experience the joy and peace God wants for you. We'll send you a copy of this resource plus Jill's booklet, Me Worry?, as thanks for your gift today to help others experience life in Christ. So call today to request your copy of Worry Less and Me Worry? at 1-800-889-5388. That's 1-800-889-5388, or you can give online at tellingthetruth.org. Now here's Charles Price.

Charles Price: If you've got your Bible, I'm going to read to you from Matthew chapter 5. I'm going to read just four verses from verse 27 down to verse 30. This is part of Jesus' teaching in the Sermon on the Mount, which is the most concentrated record we have of Jesus' teaching, his public teaching. I want to look at one particular issue he talks about, and I want to put it back into the context of the whole theme of this address that Jesus gave as well.

Matthew chapter 5 and verse 27: "You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."

That's as far as I'm going to read. The context is that Jesus is talking here about the law of God that he had given to Moses on Mount Sinai. Our ability to live according to the law of God is the indwelling presence of the Spirit of God. As Jesus said in verse 17, "I've not come to abolish the law; I've come to fulfill it." That is, his role in us is to restore the character of God that the law of God expresses.

That means that the commandments of the Old Covenant become promises under the New Covenant. It's not simply "you shall not steal" as an external command, but "you will not steal" because the Spirit of God living in your heart does not steal. He writes the law in our hearts, and it becomes to us a promise. But that doesn't mean that we simply sit back passively and say, "Well, it's the work of God in my life; I don't do anything." Because along with dependence on God is the need for disciplined living.

I remind you of what I've already said: that discipline does not get godliness into our lives. Godliness is sourced in God himself living within us, but he needs to live in a body that obeys orders. To get the life and the character of God expressed through our lives, that's why we need to be disciplined people. This, of course, was the big downfall of the Pharisees. They thought that if you disciplined yourself, you would become godly. If you do the right things, you become the right person. It's the other way around.

That's why Jesus must be Savior before he is Teacher. If he is not Savior indwelling you, his teaching will be unrealistic, it won't make sense, and it'll be completely impractical. Now there are several areas in this part of Matthew 5 when Jesus talks about disciplined living. We talked about Christians and their relationships: "You've heard it was said, you must not murder, but I say to you, if you're angry with your brother, you're already guilty of murder."

Jesus said, "If you're offering your gift at the altar, and remember your brother has something against you, leave that gift, first go and be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." We talked about the need of keeping our relationships right. Now following on from that, I want to talk, as Jesus does here, about Christians and their sexual behavior.

Guest (Male): Guest speaker Charles Price with us today on Telling the Truth. He'll return in a moment. Anxiety, fear, and worry can keep you in a painful state of uneasiness and limit you from truly experiencing the incredible joy and peace God wants you to have. We want to help you break free from worry and embrace God's abiding peace with Stuart and Jill Briscoe's encouraging two-message series, Worry Less.

This powerful series shines a critical light on the root cause of worry and gives you practical guidance on how to rule your anxieties instead of having them rule you. It's fresh encouragement straight from God's Word to help you overcome the stresses of life, whatever they may be, so you can start living with more joy.

We'll send you the Worry Less series as well as Jill's booklet, Me Worry?, as our thanks for your gift today to help you share the healing truth of God's love with people around the world through the resources and teaching of Telling the Truth. So call today to request your copy of these resources when you give. 1-800-889-5388. That's 1-800-889-5388, or you can give online at tellingthetruth.org.

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Charles Price: Because he says in verse 27, the same pattern as we saw earlier: "You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery." That was the law of Moses. "But I say unto you, anyone who lusts after a woman is already guilty of adultery." In a couple of verses later, verse 31 and 32, he talks about divorce, marital unfaithfulness, and again about adultery.

I want to talk about this because Jesus talked about it. I want to talk about it sensitively, but I trust honestly and directly. Although our sex lives are a very private part of our lives, our sexuality is an important part of our total human constitution, and we need to understand God's purpose in this and what he has to say about it.

I'm going to talk about three things. First of all, I'm going to talk about sex as an expression of love. Then secondly, what Jesus implies here: sex as an expression of lust. And then thirdly, we'll talk about sex as an expression of life; that is, how do I get this into right perspective in the whole context of my life?

First of all, let's talk about sex as an expression of love that Jesus implies here. Because he says, you see, in verse 27, "You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery." There are certain things that are wrong about sexual behavior. But they'd also heard before that there were certain things that were right about sexual behavior. When he said, "You have heard that it was said," he is quoting from the book of Exodus. In the commandments there, he talks about illegitimate sexual relationships.

Previously in the book of Genesis, the Scripture talks about legitimate sexual relationships, and we must understand the illegitimate in the light of the legitimate, what is right. In Genesis chapter 1 and 2, I want to just briefly give you three positives as the background to this negative. The three things are these: First of all, sex is a divine creation. That's in Genesis 1:27: "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them."

Different but complementary and codependent. He created us male and female; sex is a divine creation. Secondly, in Genesis 1:28, sex is a divine command because it says, "God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in number." The first command that God gave humanity was to go and make babies. He blessed them in so doing and still does bless us in so doing.

All societies, whether primitive or modern, regulate to some extent their sexual behavior. There are laws in this land about sexual behavior. Every society does that because unrestrained sexual activity, which is driven by lust rather than by love, inevitably leads to pain rather than pleasure. Inevitably. Both personally but also corporately in society.

We live in a culture where sensual pleasure has a very high value. Restraint is often considered to be unhealthy, and discipline is often considered to be unnecessary. If it feels good, do it. There have been times in the past when the reverse has been the case, when pleasure has been suspect and restraint has been a very high value.

The early centuries of the church, for instance, developed a very restricted view of sex. It was necessary in order to procreate and produce babies, but the general tenor was: don't do it too often and don't enjoy it too much. In fact, one of the well-known leaders of the fourth century, Jerome, who translated the Bible into Latin—we know it as the Vulgate—and also wrote many biblical commentaries which are still available, wrote: "Anyone who is too passionate a lover with his own wife is himself in danger of being an adulterer."

Well, that sort of put the cap on things, didn't it? However, the Bible not only affirms the place and the importance of the sexual relationship, but in the New Testament, Paul speaks of it as being an obligation in marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:3, he says, "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." Now it sounds a bit cold calling it a "marital duty."

But the point is that this is to be an integral part of the marriage relationship: nurtured, developed, and built into the marriage as an important part of it. Incidentally, in 1 Corinthians 7 when Paul says that, he also says that the wife does not belong to herself but to her husband, and the husband does not belong to himself but to his wife. Which, of course, is what marriage is: it is a surrender of yourself to the other person, which outside of marriage you're not.

That a wedding is: a wedding is a public surrender. "I no longer belong to myself." That's how it's described there in 1 Corinthians 7. In that context of surrender to one another, the sexual relationship is designed to function and to function as a fulfilling, satisfying, important part of the marriage. So sex is a divine creation, sex is a divine command.

The third thing in Genesis is that sex is a divine concern. God is concerned about this because in Genesis 2:18, the Lord God said, "It's not good for the man to be alone. I'll make a helper suitable for him." And then he goes on to say in verse 24, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh."

God says it's not good for man to be alone. He's speaking there of the need for sexual relationship, for which he provided marriage where a man or woman leave the old order, their father and mother, and they cleave to their partner and they become one flesh. This is the normal way of life ordained by God. Sexual relationship is God-intended within marriage.

For this reason, we need to be very clear about a couple of things. Number one: premarital sexual relationships are outside the will of God. Please be absolutely clear about that. It is not with the blessing of God that you sleep with your girlfriend or your boyfriend if you're not married. The sexual relationship is meant to be the consummation of the total relationship, which is not just physical; it is spiritual first and foremost, social secondly, physical thirdly.

The physical expression in the sexual relationship is simply the symptom of the soulish and the spiritual oneness that you enjoy as a couple. Women know that better than men. A man can kid himself the physical act in itself might provide him with some satisfaction, which is why some men will pick up a prostitute whose name they don't even know, pay her some money, and kid themselves they're satisfying themselves.

But for a woman, if the spiritual and social relationship is not right, the sexual relationship will not function well. She might go through the act, but it won't be satisfying because it's the symptom and expression of a deeper oneness of spirit and soul. Sex is not a recreational sport. It is the deepest expression of love and commitment and surrender between a man and a woman.

It is actually God's wedding present when you get married. Good to see it that way. And it can be spoiled in advance. That's the first thing to be clear about. Second thing to be clear about is that extramarital sexual relationships are also outside the will of God. Marriage is an exclusive and permanent relationship until death parts.

In Matthew 5, Jesus teaches that sexual infidelity is not so much a reason that may lead to divorce; it is itself the breaking of the marriage bond. This is important to understand: this positive biblical understanding of the sexual relationship in marriage, where sex is an expression of love and commitment and surrender and care and protection of one another.

The second thing we'll talk about is what Jesus refers to here: sex as an expression of lust, not love. Because he says in verse 28, having talked about don't commit adultery, he says, "I tell you anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Now we need to define what lust is here. It's not simply sexual desire.

Jesus doesn't say anyone who looks at a woman with sexual desire has already committed adultery with her. We all recognize sexual attraction. When a guy and a girl start dating, there is sexual chemistry right from the beginning, otherwise they wouldn't be interested in each other. But sexual desire in itself does not constitute lust.

Lust is the selfish intention to satisfy my own desires that uses somebody else to satisfy my own ends. Actually, it was already mentioned in the Ten Commandments because the last commandment said you shall not covet your neighbor's wife. She does not belong to you. Until you are married to somebody, they do not belong to you. Lust is a million miles away from love; in fact, it's the opposite end of the spectrum.

There's a story in the Old Testament, 2 Samuel chapter 13, of a man called Amnon, who was a son of David. Amnon, it said, fell in love with a girl called Tamar, who actually happened to be a half-sister. I want to read you what it says in 2 Samuel 13: "In the course of time Amnon, son of David, fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom, son of David. Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her."

When you first read that, maybe it sounds fine: he's fallen in love with her. Forget the bit about the fact she's a half-sister. But he's fallen in love with her. But actually, it is not innocent at all. It says it seemed impossible to do anything to her. What did it mean? He wanted to actually sleep with her. He became utterly frustrated to the point of illness. It was a total self-absorption with this issue.

A friend of his called Jonadab said to him, "Why don't you pretend to get sick and go to bed and ask your father David to have Tamar come and make a meal for you in your bedroom, in your presence, and then feed it to you, and when you're there alone, make your move." Amnon did that. Tamar was sent. David became unwittingly involved in this process. Tamar came to make him a meal.

In verse 10, "Then Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand. And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, Come to bed with me. Don't, she said to him. Don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel. Don't do this wicked thing."

Verse 14 says, "But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her." He got what he wanted. He called it love earlier; it said he fell in love. It wasn't love at all. It was not about her; it was about him. Then it says this in verse 15, when he'd raped her: "Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, Get up and get out."

Can you believe the crudity and the cruelty of that? He starts off kidding himself, "Oh, I love her." What does he mean? He's sexually attracted to her. It's not her that you're interested in; it's actually you satisfying your own lust. It ended up becoming hatred. Lust can and will never lead to satisfaction. It always leads to disillusionment.

The sexual relationship was so designed that it only has meaning in the context of that loving, surrendered, committed, secure, protected relationship which is why God ordained it for marriage. When the sexual relationship is an expression of love, it is never demanding in itself. If it is, it's probably lust. It is about giving.

Guest (Male): Thank you, Charles. Before we go, just a reminder that when you give to support Telling the Truth broadcasts like this one, we'll send you the Briscoes' two-message series, Worry Less, and Jill's booklet, Me Worry? These encouraging resources will help you start to worry less and live with more joy.

So please request your resources when you call 1-800-889-5388. 1-800-889-5388, or you can give online when you visit tellingthetruth.org. Thanks for being with us today. Join us again tomorrow as guest speaker Charles Price concludes his message on Christians and sexual behavior.