Sound Doctrine

Guest (Male): Coming up today on Sound Doctrine, a frank discussion on the dangers of lust.

Jeff Johnson: Well, there is a lot of weird stuff happening in the area and in the realm of sex and lust. Why? Because our whole society, our whole nation is filthy with it. It is flooding into the homes through a cable. It is coming through the movie houses. It is just flooding all around us, so that area of the flesh is being stirred constantly.

Guest (Male): When someone is caught in sin, part of us just wants to look the other way, and in effect, that just justifies them in their sin. A loving rebuke is what is called for. That is a challenge, and it is one we will consider today on Sound Doctrine with Pastor Jeff Johnson from Calvary Chapel Downey.

2 Samuel records the tragic story of Tamar, who was sexually assaulted by her half-brother Amnon. What led to this awful sin? In part, Amnon had a friend who was no friend at all. With the details from 2 Samuel chapter 13, here is Pastor Jeff.

Jeff Johnson: We are going to be talking about how lust always brings loss of life. David had sinned and thought he had gotten away with it, and then Nathan the prophet came with the word of the Lord and said, "David, you are the man." David realized that he was the man, that he had sinned, and David repented. He was truly sorry for what he had done.

God heard his prayer, and God said through Nathan, "You are forgiven, David. But also I want to let you know that the sword will never depart out of your family. You are going to have trials and tribulations." We know that his first son died. Now in chapter 13, David continues to reap the consequences of his sin.

One day I was out with my grandson sitting on our little swing we have in the front yard, and all of a sudden these two snails come tooling up. He looked at me and he said, "Saba," which is grandfather in Hebrew. He said, "Saba, what are those?" I said, "Those are snails, and they are coming to eat those beautiful flowers over there." He asked how to stop them. I said, "Well, I will show you how I would stop them." I picked up one and lobbed it into the street and it went splat. He said, "Oh, that is neat, Saba. Let me have one." So he started flinging them out there.

The little lesson is that the snails' desire caused them to go after the flowers, but that desire brought loss of life and they were snuffed out. It ended up being a big splash in the street. James says, "But every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed. Then when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin, and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death." Then James says, "Do not err, my beloved brethren."

In 2 Samuel chapter 13, verse one says that it came to pass after this that Absalom, the son of David, had a fair sister whose name was Tamar. And Amnon, the son of David, loved her. David was probably really up in age now. He had many wives, and from his wives he would have children. We know that Absalom and Tamar were both brother and sister of one wife.

But we also know that Amnon was his first son after his son that he had with Bathsheba died. He had another son, Amnon, born of another wife, who was the heir to the throne because he was the firstborn living. It says that Amnon loved his half-sister Tamar because she was a fox. It says she was beautiful to behold.

Verse two says, "And Amnon was so vexed that he fell sick for his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her." Amnon was captured by her beauty. He lusted after her and wanted to take her to bed. He said, "I don't understand how we can get together." He was trying to figure it out because in those times the women and the men were separated. The only time they came together was when it was arranged by the parents. There was very little interaction between men and women.

It says that he was lovesick, or I would rather say he was lust-sick over her. What is beautiful about the Greek especially when it comes to the word love is that in English we just do not have it together. We blow it a lot with our language. In English, we have one word for love.

You say, "I love tacos," and then you look at your wife and say, "But I love you too, honey." She asks, "You love me like you love tacos? Give me some description here of this love." The Greek is very helpful in this. The Greek has three words for love. The first one is eros, and that is what we are talking about here in the Hebrew. It is the lustful type of love.

That is the Hollywood version, how they are always lusting after one another in the movies and the videos. That word eros is never mentioned once in the Bible. Then there is phileo, which is a brotherly type of love mentioned twice in the New Testament. It is the most intimate type of love we as human beings can experience. Then there is agape. That is God's love.

That is experienced all throughout the Bible. That word is used everywhere. It is 1 Corinthians chapter 13-type love. It is patient and kind. Lust is always self-centered, always demanding, impatient, and very aggressive. There is a big difference between the two, and our culture has failed over and over again to show the difference. In movies and books, they say they were making love.

In reality, they were making lust. They do not know the difference. Amnon was lust-sick, and he did not know what to do with these urges and these feelings that he had for Tamar. Verse three says, "And Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David's brother, and Jonadab was a very subtle or deceitful man."

This is the type of friend we can do without. You do not need to be hanging around this guy. He is the deceitful type of friend that is always wheeling and dealing, always has a plan and a hidden agenda. I asked myself what this guy's hidden agenda was in giving Amnon a way to get to his half-sister.

I think he figured that if he could get Amnon out of the way, who was the firstborn to the throne, he could then deal with Absalom and get a political position. He needed to get Amnon out of the way, so to stumble him up with Tamar would be exactly what he needed to get this guy removed. Verse four says, "And he said unto him, Why art thou being the king's son, lean from day to day? Wilt thou not tell me?" Amnon said unto him, "I lust after Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister."

Notice what he says here. Lusting after his half-sister had taken its effect. It takes effect spiritually and also emotionally. You will be overwhelmed with just one thought and it consumes you, let alone physically how he looked. Jonadab said, "Boy, you are looking mighty peaked and weak, and you are miserable. And you are the king's son! I do not know what has got ahold of you, guy."

Verse five says, "And Jonadab said unto him, Listen, here's the plan. Lay yourself down on your bed and make like you are sick. And when your father comes and sees you, say to him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come and give me some meat and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it and eat it by her hand." He wanted Tamar to come and give it to him. This was the great deception to get her to come to Amnon.

Verse six says, "So Amnon lay down, and he faked like he was sick. And when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand." David sent word to Tamar saying, "Go now to thy brother Amnon's house and dress him meat." Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house while he was lying down. She kneaded the flour and baked the cakes in his sight. She took a pan and poured them out before him, but he refused to eat. Amnon said, "Have everyone, all the men, from me," and they all went out.

He told everybody to get out of there. All the servants who were in the palace left. Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the meat into my chamber that I may eat of thine hand." Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them into the chamber where Amnon was lying. When she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her hand and said, "Come lie with me, my sister."

She answered and said, "No, my brother. Do not force me, for no such thing ought to be done in Israel. Do not this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? And as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king, for he will not withhold me from thee." However, it says he would not hearken unto her voice. Being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.

He forced himself on her while she was trying to reason with him. I have heard testimonies of Christian women whom men tried to rape, and one woman began to tell the man that Jesus loves him and about the blood of Jesus. The guy thought she had flipped and just let her alone and took off. It is hard to reason with these guys. You almost have to start praying in the name of Jesus for the Lord to supernaturally intervene and break it up. But she tried to naturally reason with her brother.

Notice in verse 13 she said, "Just speak to the king, Amnon, for he will not withhold me from thee." She was suggesting he speak to David, who could work it out. Some believe she was just trying to buy time to get away from him. It is interesting that in Leviticus 18 verse 11, it says you will not have relations with a close relative. That is against the law.

Maybe Amnon thought he could not have her according to the law, so he would take her outside of the law. It also says in the Talmud that Tamar was an illegitimate child. Some believe that Amnon, realizing she was not really his half-sister, went for her. Lust is not a logical thing, and you cannot reason with it. He would not listen to her. Lust is a fire that just begins to burn and seeks fulfillment. He raped her in what you might call a date-rape situation because they knew each other.

There is a lot of weird stuff happening in the realm of sex and lust. Our whole society and nation are filthy with it. It is flooding into the homes through cable and coming through the movie houses. It is flooding all around us, and that area of the flesh is being stirred constantly. We have men now that are out of control. There is a lot of incestuous stuff happening within families today, including child abuse and molestation. It is real and it is here, and we have to deal with it. So, girls, be careful, even if you know the guy's name.

Verse 15 says, "And Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her." Amnon said to her, "Arise and be gone." Note that this is not agape love, for agape love would not turn around and hate. This is lust, and lust turns to hatred. He got what he wanted, and now he was moving on.

Girls, do not be fooled by connivers who buy chocolates and flowers, open doors, and take you to nice places to wine and dine you. What do you think they want? Many times they are just trying to butter you up, so be careful. They are seeking sex, and once they have it, that is it. Many times they will say, "If you truly love me, you will let me." But do not give in.

Sex outside of marriage brings death in your own life and in that other person's life. God did not create it that way. He said the marriage bed is undefiled. It is beautiful and created by God to only be within marriage. In verse 16, she said there was no cause for this, and sending her away was a greater evil than what he had already done to her.

He would not listen to her again. He called his servant and said, "Put now this woman out from me and bolt the door after her." Tamar had a garment of diverse colors, which was how the king's virgin daughters dressed. The servant brought her out and bolted the door. After satisfying his lust, he suddenly hated her.

He told her to get out, which is very interesting because in our society today, after a woman is brutally raped, the man often kills her. He does that because he is angry for yielding to his own lust. He hates himself and vents that anger on the woman. To the singles here today, girls are known to give sex to secure love because they want to be loved and have attention. She gives herself in order to win her boyfriend's love.

If you give sex to get love, you are going to find that after he gets what he wants, he will end up hating you or losing respect for you because of the guilt he is feeling. He will lash out at you. You will be rejected and possibly despised because he hates himself. It is never wise to use sex to get love because it will often backfire. Guys are different; they use eros to get sex. Girls give sex to get love, and guys give love to get sex. They do the romantic Casanova stuff.

When they try to deceive to get what they want, both tactics always end in confusion and frustration. Then you will be hated. He blamed her and told her to get out. He made it her fault. That is how the courts are sometimes, asking what she was wearing that night. He told her she should never have come there and that it was her fault. They slammed the door behind her and wanted nothing to do with her.

In verse 19, Tamar put ashes on her head. Imagine the guilt and torment after being raped by her brother. She rent her garment of diverse colors and went on crying. Her brother Absalom asked her if Amnon had been with her. He told her to hold her peace because he was her brother and not to regard this thing. Tamar remained desolate in Absalom's house.

When King David heard of these things, he was very angry and enraged. In verse 20, Absalom told her not to worry about it because he was her brother. It seems like he was passing it off, but Absalom had a plan. David was outraged as a father, but that is as far as it got. He just got angry.

David did not even call Amnon on the carpet or nail him for what he had done. Why did David not bring in his son and nail him for it? I think the answer is that a few years earlier, David had committed the same sin. He was guilty of allowing lust to dominate his life. Now his son does it, and David got angry but also listened to the enemy and received condemnation.

Guest (Male): This is Sound Doctrine, and what you heard today is just a portion of Pastor Jeff Johnson's message based on the first half of 2 Samuel chapter 13. We house all of our 2 Samuel studies at sounddoctrineradio.org. This comes in handy should you miss a study or two on the radio or just want to hear something again or even share it with someone you know.

This study and more are available now at sounddoctrineradio.org under messages. You can also listen at oneplace.com and through the Sound Doctrine Radio podcast app. And of course, speaking of podcasts, Sound Doctrine can be heard wherever you enjoy podcasts, and that includes Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

This program is made possible through the support of our listeners. To make a contribution to the ministry, just visit sounddoctrineradio.org and click on giving. Be sure to join us next time when Pastor Jeff will return to 2 Samuel. You are on Sound Doctrine, a ministry of Calvary Chapel Downey.