Sound Doctrine

Guest (Male): Today on Sound Doctrine, Pastor Jeff urges parents to be a good example to their children.

Jeff Johnson: Before the Lord, my life was a wreck. I was into drugs and everything, and it wasn't the greatest example. But that was B.C. days, wasn't it? That was before Christ. For when Christ came into my life, he gave me forgiveness of sins, and he totally extinguished my sins as far as the east is from the west.

And he caused me to have a new beginning, a new start. And now, I could be the father that he wanted me to be. I could be an example. I can do my best now to raise my children in God's way.

Guest (Male): Calvary Chapel Downey welcomes you now to Sound Doctrine with Pastor Jeff Johnson. Today we look again at 2nd Samuel chapter 13. It's remarkable that a man named Absalom will draw the hearts of a nation away from King David and become king himself.

Absalom was handsome and winsome, but that's all he was. Today we'll hear that Absalom was nothing like his public image. He takes revenge and commits murder. Will this sin and great crime be dealt with in a right and godly way? Let's find out from 2nd Samuel chapter 13. Here's Pastor Jeff.

Jeff Johnson: This morning we're in 2nd Samuel chapter 13. 2nd Samuel chapter 13, and I know we're dealing with an issue that is hard to hear and there's some heavy things going on here, but we're talking about an example of someone we can learn from. We learn by their examples, and hopefully through this period of David's falling out and through this period of him reaping what he had sown, we're going to be learning and growing from this. It's hard to hear, but it's reality.

So we're going to continue on now with sin and its consequences in our lives as we look at David's life, starting in 2nd Samuel chapter 13 with verse... we left off with verse 22. Now, last week we saw the wages of sin, and the Bible says the wages of sin is death. Even though David had repented and said, "I am really and truly sorry," and God did forgive David, David would still have to reap what he had sown.

And so the judgment came down and his little child died. Sin not only affects us, and we've seen this over and over again, but it also affects those close to us. They are also the ones that sometimes pay for what we've gotten into. I think a good example of this is a pregnant mother who gets busted for drugs or for sale of drugs. Not only is the baby going to be born with possibly birth defects, but then that baby is going to be taken from its mother, probably forever.

When you sow into the flesh, you reap corruption. The Bible says you sow to the flesh, you reap corruption. You sow into the things of this world, you're going to reap havoc of this world. And it's sad, but it's true, that the sins of the father do go on to the children at times. We see it over and over again. Now, there is an interesting question, and here it is: Is it true that the greatest misfortune that can befall a child is to have parents?

One of the last day prophecies that we are given in the Bible, as far as one of the things that are going to be taking place in the last days and the latter times, is children going to be disobedient to their parents. We are seeing today a generation of rebellion that is unprecedented in all of the world. We are now seeing a generation of kids growing up killing kids. We have never seen this. This is serious.

We see it over and over on the news. All the anger and the hatred and the rebellion is coming out, and everybody is wondering what we can do. "Let's do three strikes you're out, let's do this, let's do that." They're just groping for answers, hoping that it's right, but every one of them is wrong. I don't think the problem is juvenile delinquency. I think it is parent delinquency.

It's been the problem ever since day one when parents fail to be there to nurture their children, to train their children, to be an example and to love their children. And that's what kids are crying for today on the streets. Instead, many parents are too busy making money, and they say, "Well, it's for the kids," but that's a lie. It's for yourself. A lot of times we're wanting more toys, a bigger this and a bigger that, and we just work our tails off.

No time to spend with them. Arguing all the time about money. Always wanting, and the kids are listening, the kids are watching, failing to be examples to them. I think the way that they say it is parental neglect. I think that might be the key. Parental neglect is not taking care of business at all. I've lived long enough to see sin's devastation and the consequences of sin to hate it.

Most of us that are watching the news today and have the consequences of sin in our own homes, we hate it. It's terrible, but it's real. It has to be dealt with, and God help us to see it for what it is. David's past sin would affect his future home, and his kids would be affected and they would suffer tremendously because of his sin. But more than just they would suffer, David's going to suffer too.

Sin touches everyone in the home. Already, one son has died now. And now, his second-born, Amnon, would brutally rape his daughter, Tamar. We're talking in the home here. We're talking incest. We're talking things that take place in the home and the family today that are tearing apart the home and the structure of the home. When David found out, it says that he was angry, he was enraged, but really that's as far as it went.

He was just angry about it. "I can't believe this is happening in my home. This is terrible, I hate it." But he didn't do anything about it. He didn't take care of the situation, and the reason is because of his own sin. He just looked at himself and he said, "How can I deal with my kids when I've got a problem in my own life?" And so he dropped the ball and he failed to punish his son.

He spared the rod. You spare the rod, you'll spoil the child. Now, you might say, "Well, yeah, but David probably realized that in Leviticus chapter 20, verse 17, for this sin that he had done is death." He didn't want to kill his son. But wait a minute. Isn't it true also that when David was getting busted for his sin, that Nathan the prophet said, "The Lord forgives you and you're not going to die, David. You deserve to die, the law says you're supposed to die, but you're not going to die."

So couldn't David then turn around to his own son and give him at least a lesser punishment than taking his life? In Deuteronomy chapter 22, verses 28 and 29, it says that the law allows that to take place. But he didn't even do that. And so just because you sin as a parent doesn't relieve you of your responsibility as a parent to deal with your children, especially in your own home. It's true that David wasn't a good example.

It's true that his lifestyle was wrong, and he wasn't doing the best he could do. But that doesn't minimize what Amnon had done to his sister, and it needed to be dealt with and David didn't deal with it. If you listen to my testimony, I wasn't the greatest witness for my children either. Before the Lord, my life was a wreck. I was into drugs and everything, and it wasn't the greatest example for them.

But that was B.C. days, wasn't it? That was before Christ. For when Christ came into my life, he gave me forgiveness of sins, and he totally extinguished my sins as far as the east is from the west. And he caused me to have a new beginning, a new start. And now, I could be the father that he wanted me to be. I could be an example. I can do my best now to raise my children in God's way.

Then when they are old enough, I can just commit them to the Lord and say, "Lord, I've done my best, now I commit the rest." But before Christ, I was a lousy father. After Christ, I could now be that witness and that example. I could be a positive father figure to my children because Christ in me made me that. And that's a blessing. But here, David drops the ball. He fails to deal with the rape in his own home.

If you fail to deal with your children, if you let things slide, you've got problems coming. Well, they might not happen right away, but it's building for that day. We need to just do our best under the scriptures, seeking Proverbs, seeking direction on what it is to raise children, how it is to train them, to raise them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. To pray with them before they go to bed, to spend time with them, give them Bible stories and have devotional times with them.

Let the word of the Lord dwell within them. Share your testimony with them. I actually heard of a friend of mine who goes way back with me in those drug days, who got saved at the same time I did, who today is living in denial of his past, and he will not tell his children. He will not tell anybody his testimony because he fears it's detrimental to his job. He's a fire chief.

But why wasn't he giving his testimony all along? God's done some great things to some of us. Paul said it five times through the book of Acts. We need to share our testimony, especially with our kids. "Yes, I was doing this, but look what God has done. Yes, I was burning my life out, but look what God has done." They need to hear that. They need to not only hear about the power of God but see it in your own life.

See that it affected you and that it can affect them for the positive. To know his power, not just to know of him, but to know his power. David didn't deal with the situation. Verse 23 now of 2nd Samuel 13. And it came to pass after two full years that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is beside Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king's sons.

Absalom was the third-born of David, who waited for two years just brooding over what his brother did to his sister Tamar. He was full of anger in his heart. He was full of bitterness and unforgiveness. In fact, in verse 22 it says he hated Amnon. There was a hatred towards him. You just can't carry something like this around with you and have an effective, beautiful life. Their little meals together must have been really tense.

"I hate your guts." There's just all kinds of lashing out and looks. If looks could kill, you know. He figured, "Hey, if Dad's not going to deal with this guy, I'm going to deal with him." And so he figured that he would just wait for his time. He sought vengeance for his sister, but he also had something else in his mind. He had another hidden agenda, which we'll talk about in a little bit.

Vengeance is never sweet. It's never fulfilling. A lot of people want vengeance because they did this to us, we're going to do this to them. But it never is satisfied. It goes on and destroys and continues to destroy. That's why God says in Ephesians chapter 4, in verse 26, "Be ye angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down upon your wrath, your anger." And then he says, "Neither give place to the devil."

If you don't deal with your anger, if you don't deal with your bitterness, if you don't deal with it up front and do it immediately, then the devil's going to use it in your life to not only destroy you but those around you. You say, "Jeff, what are you talking about?" Over in Hebrews, the book of Hebrews, in chapter 12, it says here in chapter 12 of Hebrews, verse 14.

He says, "Follow peace with all men." Seek peace with everyone and holiness, without which no man is going to see the Lord. So go after peace, go after holiness. Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you and thereby many be defiled. He's saying here, "Hold on to God's grace, especially when you are abused, especially when somebody does something against you."

God has forgiven you so much, you should be able to turn around and forgive the same way he has forgiven you. In fact, we are commanded to do that. That's how we're to love, as he has loved us. And when you think about it, how much he's forgiven you, how much he's loved you, it's very easy to turn around then and say, "Well, then I've got to forgive them." My gosh, if I don't, then I'm wicked. And that's true. It's wrong.

There's another reason that not only will you fail to receive the grace of life, or God's grace in your life as far as forgiving somebody, but you'll then hold the root of bitterness will begin to grow in your heart. Not only will you have a dark cloud around you following you everywhere and you're bitter and angry, but whatever's in a man's heart will come out of his mouth.

So you can tell when people are bitter. They just jump right down your throat and they're angry. They got bitterness in them. Not only does it hurt them, but it hurts everybody around them. You don't even want to be around that person anymore because they're angry, they're full of bitterness and hatred. It's terrible, destroying people. Absalom's anger, though, is now ready to be unleashed upon his brother.

In verse 24 it says, "And Absalom came to the king," said David, his father, and said, "Behold now, thy servant has sheepshearers. Let the king, I beseech thee, and his servants go with thy servant." And they were having a party. They were setting up this party. It was at Baal Hazor, which is about 12 miles north of Jerusalem, which is about a 12,000-foot climb up to this Baal Hazor, this area there.

And they were shearing their sheep, and at the end of shearing their sheep, they'd have this big party. They do this in Australia all the time. After shearing the sheep, they call everybody together and have a big party. So everybody was invited. Verse 25, "And the king said to Absalom, 'Nay, my son, let us not all now go, lest we be chargeable unto thee.' And he pressed him, howbeit he would not go but blessed him."

David refused to go because he said, "I don't want to be a burden on you. I mean, I've got a lot of servants, I've got a lot of entourage. If I bring them up there, you're going to have to feed us all. We're talking about a lot of people. So I'll just pass on this one. I don't want to be a hardship on anybody and I won't go. But Lord bless you as you go to your party and have a good time," not knowing that his son had planned to kill his other son at this party.

Verse 26, "Then said Absalom, 'If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us.' And the king said unto him, 'Why should he go with thee?' But Absalom pressed him, and he let Amnon and all of the king's sons go with him." So Absalom just said, "Okay, Dad, if you're not going to come, but at least would you send Amnon? I want Amnon to come for sure."

David thought, "Hmm, that's strange. Why would you want Amnon to come with you?" All of a sudden he knew something's up. "What's going on about this party? I wonder what's going to happen there." And he started to then sense something's up here. As parents, we need to know where our kids are going. But we need to also have that kind of a sixth sense that when something's wrong, we need to do something about it.

We need to know where they're at, who they're going with, what movie they're seeing. I mean, we need to know a lot of things if we're going to be a good parent and if we're going to train them in the way that they should go. Don't just let them go and just do their own thing. They're too young. The prince of the power of the air is too awesome and strong.

He'll pull them in the way of the flesh. They need to be always... you need to know where they're at at all times and who they're with. This is not happening today. Everybody's just kicking back. They just want, "Well, they're kids, kids will be kids." You bet, if you let them. But you stay up on it. And it's work. Granted, it's not easy. They'll say, "You're bugging me."

Well, tough. That's what I was here for. I'm here to bug you until you leave this home. But they're love bugs. Isn't it great, parents, when the Holy Spirit lets us know when the kids are trying to get something by us? It's always fun. You wonder what it is and you know that something's up. You know it's fishy. You know this is not kosher what they're about to do.

All of a sudden you just know. Maybe it's a note you found, maybe it's a phone call you got, or maybe it's just the Holy Spirit alarm went off in your heart. Danger, danger, something's wrong here. And David had this happen to him. My kids finally got to the point where they said, "Mom, Dad, we can't get away with anything. The Lord always tells you."

Because we always make sure that we tell them, "Hey, the Lord just put it in our hearts, we knew what was going on here." They get busted every single time. Finally, they just said, "Man, can't we get away with nothing?" No, you can't. It's just like with us as Christians. We can't get away with nothing. The heavenly Father knows exactly what you're doing, when you're doing it.

Everything's out in the open, and the Spirit has come to convict us and to guide us into all truth, thank God. So David, after being pressed by Absalom, he finally just gave in. He bugged him and just, "Come on, come on, come on, let Amnon come on. Let him come, let him come on," and just pressed him. Finally David's going, "Well, oh, well."

Yet he didn't have an ear to hear what the Spirit was trying to say and he didn't put a stop to it. He didn't say, "You know, there's something wrong here. No, he's not going." He didn't do that. He just said, "Okay, everybody can go, go ahead." He probably thought and he rationalized to himself, "Well, it's been two years since Amnon did this horrible thing, and Absalom hasn't put a hand on him yet. It's going to be all right."

You just kind of rationalize, it's going to be all right. Let it happen. Let them go to the river for a weekend. What? Are you nuts? Well, they're 15, okay. So we let them go. Verse 28, "Now Absalom had commanded his servants saying, 'Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine.'" I mean, we're going to party, but make sure Amnon gets a lot of the party.

"And when I say unto you, 'Smite Amnon,' then kill him. And don't be afraid. Have not I commanded you? Be courageous, be valiant." Oh, this is some courageous guys. Get the guy drunk and then let him have it. Be valiant. Oh, gosh. And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king's sons arose, and every man gat him upon his mule and fled.

Finally, the day of vengeance has arrived, and I'm sure Absalom can hardly wait. He told his faithful servants, "When Amnon's drunk, you kill him." So Absalom, following his father's footsteps, because after all, didn't good old Dad kill Uriah? Notice the similarities of both the deaths, and when you look at it, it's amazing. For first of all, you see that both deaths were carefully planned.

David carefully planned the death of Uriah. And so did Absalom for two years plan this murder of Amnon. It was premeditated murder as they planned it. Second thing, both were a means to an end. David in getting rid of Uriah would finally get his Bathsheba. And of course, Absalom, when he would kill Amnon, would finally get vengeance for what he did to his sister.

But more than that, see that hidden agenda was there. He would be now the next one to the throne. Ah, there's a little bit more involved here. Number three, as you look at this, you see that both were done by others. David had his servants kill Uriah. But did that set him free? No, he was the murderer, as if he had done it himself.

That's why they always go back to the one in charge. When you talk about Nazi criminal crimes, they always go back to the one that gave the orders instead of the ones that carried them out many of the times. And yet, in this situation, we see that Absalom assigned his servants to also do the dirty deed, and he said, "Well, I never touched anybody." You didn't touch anybody. You did it as you did it yourself. You assigned it.

And then number four, we see that both were involved with wine. Wine was involved in both of them. As Uriah was drunk twice, and then they got Amnon drunk. And the reason for that is so his guard would be let down, it would dull his senses, and he'd be vulnerable at the time they came at him so there wouldn't be a skirmish. They could just wipe him out.

Guest (Male): Well, we have to stop here for today as we're about out of time. Pastor Jeff Johnson will bring us the conclusion of this story next time here on Sound Doctrine. Hopefully, as you listen to these messages in 2nd Samuel, you'll have ears to hear what the Spirit is saying in these critical times. God's word is so practical, giving us direction, instruction, and wisdom to our lives.

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