Sound Doctrine

Guest (Male): If you're married and happen to be in a rough spot in your marriage, who's to blame? Consider this from Pastor Jeff Johnson.

Jeff Johnson: Let's start taking the responsibility. Let's assume it on ourselves and do our part unto the Lord and get this going. Because I think sometimes we are looking in our mate for something that we'll never get, that only Jesus can give. It's a fulfillment and a peace and a joy that only the Lord gives.

We've got to quit blaming our mate because you don't have happiness or you don't have joy. "Well, he doesn't meet my needs." What do you mean, meet your needs? What do you want him to do? And then you go off and you're complaining. What about your Lord? Does he meet your needs?

Guest (Male): Welcome to Sound Doctrine. If you've been with us recently, you may recall how David beautifully handled his conflict with Saul. He had the perfect opportunity to retaliate against the man who was trying to kill him, but David chose the higher road.

Today we find him in a similar circumstance, but this time he tries to take matters into his own hands. Rather than getting all worked up and seeking vengeance, there's a much better course of action to take. Abigail gives it to us in 1 Samuel 25, and that's where we join Pastor Jeff Johnson now.

Jeff Johnson: Nabal is his name and folly is with him. But I, thine handmaid, saw not the young men of my lord whom thou didst send. David tries to justify what he's about to do. David is not trusting the Lord; he is leaning to his own hard heart. He comes down to a valley and sees Abigail. Abigail comes and says, "Listen, David, I know my husband is a fool. I'm not blind. I know he is a hard man. It's my fault, though. I am responsible for what is going on here."

She said, "I am the one that's in charge of the hospitality. I wasn't there when your men came down. If I would have been there, I would have given them everything that they need, because that's my place in the home, and I blew it. Forgive me."

Verse 26: "Now therefore, my lord, as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal, be as fools. And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord."

"I pray thee," she says, "forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the Lord, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days." So she bows, she calls him lord, she seeks to reason with David, and she says, "Forgive me and take this offering."

David, she says, "You fight the Lord's battles. This move is so unlike you." She heard of David and she's saying, "David, this is not the way you are. You're not normally cruel. I've heard of you, David. You fight for the Lord. You're not out to be an avenger trying to go out and take vengeance. This is not your way."

Remember how he wouldn't touch Saul in chapter 24? But in this situation, he's losing it. We all have our days where we lash out. We all have our days when we get into the flesh, when we blow it. David had justification. He could say, "Well, they insulted me in front of my men. He was rude and cruel." That's true. But to murder his whole house?

David, what are you doing? David, where is your God? Where is your rock of your salvation? Where is your strength, your hiding place, your deliverer, your provider now? Why are you taking all this upon yourself just to wipe this guy out? You say, "I would never do that. I would never get so mad I'd go kill somebody." Have you ever hated anyone? Jesus says if you've hated your brother, you've committed murder. We commit murder all the time. God help us.

God's concern is not only to knock the gun out of our hand, but to take the poison out of our hearts. That's the main thing. We're so quick on the draw, but the Lord's not only trying to knock the gun out, he's trying to take the poison out, which is the bitterness, the anger, and the hatred itself. That's what he is so good at removing from our lives if we'll just give it to him and trust him with it.

Abigail was very loyal to her husband and continues to intercede for him. He's a foolish husband, but she's interceding for him. She's standing by her man and David. She's saying, "David, I want you to understand he's a fool. He's handicapped, David. He's got a problem in his life. Would you understand that? He's foolish, he does weird things. Look at how she's interceding for him, making excuses for him, but saying, 'I know he's a fool. I married the guy. He's handicapped. Would you understand that too?'"

Verse 29: "Yet a man is risen," and she reminds David of Saul. "A man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the Lord thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling. And it shall come to pass, when the Lord shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; that this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offense of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid."

Abigail is given anointed common sense here to give to David. "David," she's saying, "look how God has protected you." She even throws in the sling. Does that ring a bell, David? Sling? Goliath? Remember that? Great big hairy guy. God gave him the victory over that monster. With a sling he gave you that victory. He can do it again. David's being reminded God's delivered him before. He can deliver him from this guy and from what he's saying. He's going to protect him.

"You're going to be king, David," she says. "You don't need this mistake. You don't need to make this mistake. It'll haunt you when you go into your kingdom. Listen, David, don't lower yourself to Nabal's level." Sometimes we do that, don't we? They're in the flesh, so it gives me the right to be in the flesh. Don't do that, David. Good counsel. Don't take things into your own hands. Don't seek to get back. God's your defense. He's always been your defense. He will always go out for you.

Then she says, "God's going to deal with my husband, and then when he does, will you remember me, David, when you go into your kingdom?" Notice how she trusted God with her husband. "God will deal with my lord, but remember me." Abigail was not only a very active and practical woman of God, she was a beautiful and loyal woman to her husband. She was also spiritual because she had discernment of what was going on in the matter, and she interceded for her husband. It's awesome when we begin to pray for our mate.

Wives, when was the last time you really interceded for your husband and prayed for him? You need to do this constantly, as Abigail gives us that example. In Mark chapter 8, there's a story about a blind man that was healed. When Jesus touched him, he said, "What do you see?" He said, "I see trees as men walking." Sometimes we see only trees. Then the Lord touched him again and opened his eyes, and he said, "I see all men clearly now."

They're people. That's what the Lord wants to do is open your eyes that he's a person. He's just an individual that's a fool, and he's made some mistakes, but he's a person. He's not just a tree. He wants to get us to see that this is an individual that he has given to us to pray for, our cross maybe, but to intercede for. God will give you a new vision that he's just a man that needs the Lord.

Verse 32: And David said to Abigail, "Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand. For in very deed, as the Lord God of Israel liveth, which hath kept me back from hurting thee, except thou hadst hasted and come to meet me, surely there had not been left unto Nabal any alive. I would have killed them all."

David received her hand, that which she had brought to him, and said to her, "Go up in peace to thine house; see, I have hearkened to thy voice, and have accepted thy person." Notice how David's heart is so open. He listened to that woman that came to him. When they met together, he listened to her. I've learned over the years that when I'm not listening to the Holy Spirit, my wife is the wisdom and the Holy Spirit to me.

I've learned over the years to listen to what she says, because what she says many times is the Lord speaking back to me. I thank God for her counsel and her wisdom. She has blessed me in my life tremendously. I know sometimes guys have a hard time listening to a woman, but the women of the Bible were more tuned in, it seems to me, than the men to spiritual things. We need as men to be listening to the women of God that we have around us because they are led of the Lord and they have wisdom to give to us.

Notice how David is so open; he repents immediately. He's grateful. "Many would have died," he says, "if you wouldn't have intervened here, if you wouldn't have hurried and talked to me. I was going to level the place, and yet you intervened. You became bold and went for it and took action and you spoke into my heart." Mothers, pray for your children. Wives, pray for your husbands. Through that intercession, you're going to save a life. What a difference you're going to make as you follow Abigail.

You say, "But Abigail ended up with such a jerk." Okay, but I like good endings. Don't you like happy endings? Don't you like when everything turns out all right? I do too, and so does the Lord. So let's see how this thing ends here.

Verse 36: So Abigail, after dealing with David and David calming down, Abigail came to Nabal and, behold, he had a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. Nabal's heart was merry within him, for he was very drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, until the morning light. You don't tell somebody that's been hitting the bottle anything. They'll forget it in the morning; they won't even hear you. This is why it's so hard to witness to somebody that is drunk.

Reason is out the window. So she saw him all drunken and she says, "I'm not even going to talk to him until the morning." In the morning, it came to pass when the wine was gone out of Nabal, that his wife had told him these things. Everything that had taken place, everything that had happened. His heart, notice here is his response, died within him and he became as a stone. Instead of waking up with a headache, he ended up with a heartache. More than a heartache, this guy had a stroke after hearing what she told him.

Verse 38: "And it came to pass about ten days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that he died." Actually, he lay in a coma for ten days, and then he just died. You don't know how God's going to answer your prayers, do you? You pray positive, you look positive, "God do a work," and look what God does sometimes. Who knows the ways of the Lord?

So he dies. Notice David's response: "And when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, 'Blessed be the Lord.'" But no, he was saying, "Blessed be the Lord, that hath pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and hath kept his servant from evil: for the Lord hath returned the wickedness of Nabal upon his own head." David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife.

When the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spoke unto her, saying, "David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife." She arose, she bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, "Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord." Abigail hasted and rose and rode upon a donkey with her five damsels and she went after the messengers of David and became his wife.

Abigail, a servant, marries David. So from Nabal to David, I think it's definitely a step up in her life. What a change, what an ending to a weird story. Look at how it turned out. I've seen God give second chances to many and renew their whole life. Abigail was a woman of beauty. She was a woman who was loyal to her husband; she stood by her jerk. She was a woman of spirituality; she prayed and interceded for her man. She was a woman of practicality; she had action. She put her faith to action.

She was a woman of humility. She said, "It is my fault. I blew it." She doesn't blame him. It's easy to blame your mate. What about your responsibility in the marriage? What about your part? "Well, when he gets his act together, maybe I will." We always throw it on the other and say, "Well, if he would start loving me, then I'd start to submit." We reverse it all the time. You're never going to get together.

Let's start taking the responsibility. Let's assume it on ourselves and do our part unto the Lord. I think sometimes we are looking in our mate for something that we'll never get, that only Jesus can give. It's a fulfillment and a peace and a joy that only the Lord gives, and we've got to quit blaming our mate because you don't have happiness or you don't have joy.

Yes, he'll meet your needs and more. He will give you such a peace and such an ability to carry the cross and to minister to that fool. You'll be such a witness to him, but you've got to go this way. Quit depending on this. It goes both ways. But to take on and assume that is the key to a secret to a marriage that's going to last. Each one assumes the responsibility. Just takes one to start doing it, though.

Finally, verse 43: David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel; and they were also both of them his wives. But Saul had given Michal his daughter, David's wife, to Phalti. David continues here to yield to sin because he is doing something here that God does not okay, and that is choosing wives instead of singular wife. Remember, God in the beginning said a man will leave his father and mother and clean to his wife. Singular. This is going to catch up to him. He loses one wife, he marries another, and yet later on we're going to see that his son had 700 wives and concubines. David had many, too.

You say, "Well, the culture was in those days for kings to have a lot of wives." Okay, fine. I don't care what the culture is. What does God's word say? A lot of times we say, "These are the nineties, everybody's doing it." It doesn't matter. What does God say about living together? What does God say about being unequally yoked with an unbeliever? What is the word of God say about these things? It's going to catch up with you. There are problems with polygamy, and it's going to catch up with him and it's going to hurt him. When you go against the word of the Lord, it always does.

Galatians 3:3 says, "Having begun in the Spirit, are you going to try to perfect yourself in the flesh?" Listen, God has called us to a spiritual walk, a walk of victory, a walk of trusting the Lord, a walk of giving things to the Lord and not trying to get in there and do it ourselves. Once you come to the Lord, if you try to put your hands on your husband and try to change him in this and that, you can't do it. You've got to continue to give it to the Lord.

Jesus is saying, "I want a relationship with you. I want you to marry me. I want you to identify with me so you can experience verse 29." Look at verse 29 in the middle of the verse. This is what Abigail said to David: "But the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the Lord thy God." That our souls would be bound with God in the bundle of life. That we would be experiencing life and that much more abundantly with him so we can bless others. This has got to take place first.

There's something about the cross that is interesting. You've got to have the vertical before you can have the horizontal. You want to get along with other people, with your relationships, with your wives and your children? Then get this tight. Get it going because then you'll be able to have that, and God wants us to have it. But you've got to receive him. You've got to come to him. Jesus says, "You come to me, I'll give you rest for your soul."

Guest (Male): That's a great reminder, isn't it? You have to have the vertical before you can get the horizontal right. Pastor Jeff Johnson will be back in a moment with a closing thought here on Sound Doctrine.

If you enjoyed today's message from Pastor Jeff Johnson from the book of 1 Samuel, I'd like to remind you that you can hear it again on several different venues. First, you can go online to sounddoctrineradio.org where you can hear today's study as well as make a donation to this radio outreach. You can also listen at oneplace.com and through the Sound Doctrine Radio app. I should also mention Sound Doctrine can be heard wherever you enjoy podcasts, including Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

Man has been separated from God through sin, plain and simple. Jesus is the bridge that allows us to overcome that breach sin created. Here's Pastor Jeff to wrap up today's look at 1 Samuel 25.

Jeff Johnson: He's the bridge, isn't he? He's always been the bridge. He is the key. There is no other way to get to heaven but through Christ. There is no other way to have peace in your home but through Christ. There is no other way to have victory and to see answered prayer but through Christ. You've got to have the Lord.

Are you going to try to do it again yourself when the Lord's just saying, "You come, I'll give you rest. You come, and I'll give you victory"? It's going to take time, but you're going to learn to wait on the Lord and renew your strength. You're going to learn as David did how to love the foolish ones in this life and to minister to them and see victory happen, especially in your own heart. Because really, folks, isn't this where we need it?

It's always, "It's him, it's him. It's them. It's because of this, my parents." We're pointing everywhere. But you're troubled. Yes, you are. Well, Jesus came to give you peace. He wants to come and quiet the raging storm. He's the only one that can do it, but you've got to make the decision.

Guest (Male): We'll give you a surefire way to avoid defeat in your daily battle with Satan next time on Sound Doctrine when we dig into 1 Samuel 26. Read ahead and join us then. Sound Doctrine with Pastor Jeff is brought to you by Calvary Chapel Downey.