Shabbat Shalom

Candace Long: Good morning and welcome to Shabbat Shalom. I'm Candace Long, your host and producer. Before Pastor Matt McKeown comes to teach, I have a few comments on today's Torah portion, Pinchas. We read about a plot that was given by the false prophet Balaam to the king of Moab to seduce the men of Israel in two ways. Number one, lure them into fornication, and number two, make them bow down to a false god.

The leaders fell like rats on cheese. Now, to say that God was angry is an understatement. He was livid seeing this outbreak of perversion and idolatry and brought about a plague that ultimately killed 24,000 men. What is disturbing in this is that God told Moses to publicly hang all those who fell in order to turn away His anger. And Numbers 25:5 reads, "And Moses said to the judges of Israel, everyone of you slay his men who have yoked themselves to Baal."

Now, the word "slay" is the word "harag," which means to strike with deadly intent. Moses gave this divine charge to the judges. The Hebrew word is "shofetim," which refers to leaders that God sets up in every city charged with pronouncing judgment when a wrong is committed. Now, this is what many of us will be doing in the kingdom, by the way, enacting judgments in the geographical area that Messiah assigns us.

We need to learn how to enact divine justice, and this is a critically needed spiritual discipline. The New Testament tells us that we will be judging angels. But to qualify to be chosen as a shofetim, you have to have the Torah so burned into your soul that you feel what God feels. When He is furious, you are furious. Jesus demonstrated this zealous rage when He saw money changers in His Father's house. He acted with His tongue and His physical strength. Nothing was left standing.

So in our Torah portion, Pinchas lashed out in rage and pierced his sword through two people, Zimri, the leader of the tribe of Simeon, and the Midianite princess that he was sexually flaunting in front of the tent of meeting. God was not only pleased by his actions, but He elevated Pinchas by giving him an eternal covenant of a perpetual priesthood. So how in the world does this apply today?

When someone has been unfaithful to you, taken what belongs to you for themselves, betrayed you in the worst possible way, you tap into the rage that God feels when His people betray Him. I have learned never to act on such rage, but to make my complaint and get it all out before the heavenly court. I plead my case and ask for divine justice and leave the matter with God.

Now, in my case, it wasn't long before I was faced with a pending legal matter, and all of a sudden the Father showed me leverage that I had. I had not seen it before. I didn't hesitate. I acted swiftly and took back the part that belonged to me. Now, this is a word of wisdom. When right and wrong has been emblazoned in your spirit, you must have the courage to confront it head-on. This is the quality our Father is looking for in those who are called to be priests, shofetim in the kingdom. Let's recite the Shema together.

Shema Israel, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad. Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one. Baruch shem kavod malchuto l'olam va'ed. Blessed is the name of His glorious kingdom for all eternity. And the last section: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words which I set up for you this day shall be upon your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your children.

You shall speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk on the way, when you lie down and when you rise. And you shall bind them as a sign upon your arm and as frontlets between your eyes, and you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and in your gates.

Matt McKeown: Good morning and welcome back to Shabbat Shalom, where we explore the Jewish roots of our faith and discover how the Torah still speaks powerfully into our lives today. This week we come to Parshat Pinchas, a portion that begins with intensity but leads to restoration, covenant, and future hope. Now to understand this Torah portion, we have to remember what just happened at the end of last week's Torah portion.

Israel had fallen into sin. They had been drawn into idolatry and into immorality, into compromise with the surrounding nations. And it wasn't small; it was widespread. A plague had broken out. People were dying, and right in the middle of that chaos, one man stepped forward: Pinchas, Phinehas in English. He saw what was happening. He saw the open rebellion. He saw the dishonor toward God and he acted.

Now, this moment is difficult because Pinchas takes a spear and executes judgment on a man and woman who were openly defying God's command. And the plague stops. Now, we have to wrestle with this because this is not something that we read casually. This is intense. But here is what God says at the beginning of the portion: Pinchas has turned back My wrath from the people because he was zealous with My zeal among them.

Now, that word zealous is key. In Hebrew, it carries the idea of passion, intensity, burning concern. But it's not just any passion; it's passion aligned with God's heart. Now, that's important because zeal can go in two directions. There is a zeal that is self-driven, emotional, reactive, and then there is a zeal that's aligned with God. Pinchas is commended and not just because he acted, but because his action reflected God's heart in that moment.

Now, we need to be careful here. This is not a license for just blanket human aggression. This isn't permission for people to take judgment into their own hands because this moment is unique. It happens within a specific covenant context, at a specific time, under specific leadership. But what it does reveal is something about the seriousness of sin and the importance of alignment with God. Now, here's what happens next: God makes a covenant with Pinchas.

"I give him My covenant of peace." That's what the scripture says. Now, that's unexpected because the act was intense, and yet the result is peace. Now, let's think about that. Why peace? Because what Pinchas did restored order. He stopped the spread of destruction. He realigned the people with God's holiness, and that produced peace. Now, here's the deeper truth here: true peace is not just the absence of conflict; it's the presence of alignment.

When things are out of order, out of alignment, there's chaos. When things are brought back into alignment, there is peace. Now, let's connect this with the New Testament because zeal shows up again. In John's Gospel, when Yeshua cleanses the temple, it says, "Zeal for Your house will consume Me." Now, that's strong language. Yeshua isn't passive. He sees corruption, he sees compromise, he sees what is out of alignment with God's purpose and he responds.

But notice the difference: Yeshua's zeal is not destructive toward people; it's redemptive. It's aimed at restoring what has been lost. And that's the key for us because we are called to have zeal. But it must be shaped by God's heart: not reaction, not emotion, not frustration, but alignment. Let's bring this into our lives today. Where do you feel passionate? Where do you feel stirred? Where do you feel that something is not right?

Because that passion could be pointing toward something. And the question is, is it aligned with God? Because not all passion is holy. But when passion is aligned with God's heart and God's purpose, it becomes powerful. It becomes purposeful. It becomes something that brings life instead of destruction. Now, here's something that we need to see: Pinchas did not act for recognition. He acted because something in him could not tolerate what was happening.

And that's different because when your heart is aligned with God, you don't act for attention; you act out of conviction. Now, as we move into the next part, we're going to see something very different because the intensity of this opening moment shifts into something structured: a census, a counting of the people again. And we're going to see that even after failure, even after chaos, God is still preparing His people for what's next.

As we move forward in Parshat Pinchas, the tone shifts quite dramatically. We begin with intensity, zeal, and a decisive moment that stops a plague. But now, we enter into something that feels administrative, almost quiet by comparison. God commands Moses to take a census of the people of Israel. Now, at first glance, this might feel like a simple counting exercise. We've had census exercises before, but in scripture, a census is never just about numbers.

It's about identity. It's about inheritance. It's about preparing for what comes next. This actually is the second census in the book of Numbers. The first was taken at the beginning of the wilderness journey in Parshat Bamidbar. That census counted the generations that came out of Egypt, the generation that saw the miracles, the plagues, the Red Sea, and yet ultimately chose fear over faith at the edge of the Promised Land.

Now, almost 40 years later, that generation has passed away. The wilderness has done its work, and this new census is counting a new generation, the ones who will step into the promise. Now, this is significant because what we're witnessing here is not just a count of the people, but a transition of destiny. God is preparing a people who actually enter the land. And here's the powerful truth: even after failure, even after rebellion, even after an entire generation misses the moment, God is still moving forward.

His purposes are not canceled. His promises are not withdrawn. He continues. This census represents a fresh start, but it's not disconnected from the past. It carries the memory of what came before, and yet it looks forward with expectation. Each tribe is counted again, each family recognized, each name a part of something larger. But this time, there's an added layer: the land is about to be divided, and the census determines inheritance.

The larger the tribe, the larger the portion of land they will receive. And this is not just about who's present; it's about what they will possess. And that changes the weight of the moment. This is preparation for promise. This is organization for fulfillment. This is God aligning His people with what He has already declared. Now, there's something deeply personal in this as well because every person counted matters.

Every family has a place. Every tribe has a portion. No one is overlooked. No one is forgotten. And this speaks directly into our lives because it's easy to feel like just another person in the crowd. It's easy to feel like your life is small, unnoticed, or insignificant in the bigger picture. But this census reminds us that God sees individually even when He is working corporately. You're not just part of a group; you're part of a purpose.

Now, there's another detail here that's easy to miss, but it's incredibly powerful. The daughters of Zelophehad come forward. Their father has died in the wilderness and he has no sons. And according to the existing system, his name and inheritance would be lost. But these daughters step forward and ask a question: "Why should our father's name disappear just because he had no sons? Give us a possession among our father's brothers."

This is bold. This is courageous. They're not rebelling against God; they're appealing to His justice. And Moses does something remarkable: he doesn't answer immediately. He brings their case before the Lord. He says the daughters are right. That statement is profound. God affirms them. He establishes a new precedent. He expands the application of inheritance so that their father's name will not be lost. This is a moment of restoration.

In a portion that deals with generational transition, God is making sure that identity is preserved, that legacy continues, that what seemed lost is restored. Now, this connects deeply with the heart of God. He's not just concerned with systems; He's concerned with people. He's not just organizing land; He's preserving identity. And this echoes forward into the New Testament because in Messiah, inheritance is not limited by natural categories.

It's expanded. It's opened. It's made available in ways that were previously understood. God is always moving toward inclusion without compromising His order. Now, let's bring this into our lives. There are moments where we feel lost, when it feels like something has slipped through the cracks, when circumstances seem to have closed a door permanently. But this passage reminds us that God is able to restore what seems overlooked.

He is able to make a way where there didn't appear to be one. He is able to preserve what matters. And sometimes, like the daughters of Zelophehad, it requires stepping forward, not in rebellion, but in faith. Not in defiance, but in trust. Bringing the situation before God and believing that He sees what is right. As this census unfolds, what we're really seeing is a people being repositioned. They're no longer wandering aimlessly.

They're being aligned with purpose. Their identity is being clarified. Their inheritance is being prepared. And this is what God does in our lives as well. There are seasons where things feel uncertain, undefined, or transitional. But those seasons aren't wasted. They're often the moments where God is quietly organizing, aligning, and preparing us for what comes next. In the next part, we're going to see the transition of leadership begin to take shape.

Because Moses, who has led these people through everything, is about to pass the mantle. And we're going to see how God establishes the next leader, not through ambition, but through appointment. As we continue in Parshat Pinchas, we now come to one of the most tender and significant moments in the entire Torah. After the census is taken, after the people are counted and prepared for the land, God speaks directly to Moses about something personal.

He tells him that he will not enter the Promised Land. Now, this isn't new information. We saw the roots of this earlier in the wilderness at the waters of Meribah, when Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it. But here, the reality settles in. The journey he has carried for so long will not end in the way he might have expected. And yet, what follows is not frustration, not argument, not self-defense.

Instead, Moses does something extraordinary: he turns his attention to the people. He says to the Lord, "Let the Lord, the God of the spirits of all flesh, appoint a man over His congregation who will go out before them and come in before them, who will lead them out and bring them in, so that the congregation of the Lord will not be like a sheep without a shepherd." This is the heart of a true leader.

Moses does not say, "What about me?" He doesn't say, "This isn't fair." He doesn't say, "After everything I've done." He says, "What about them?" He's concerned that the people will have guidance, that they'll be not left directionless, that they'll have someone to lead them into the promise. This is leadership shaped by God. It's not self-centered. It's not driven by position. It's driven by responsibility and care.

And God responds. He says, "Take Joshua son of Nun, a man in whom is the spirit, and lay your hand on him." Now, this is powerful. Joshua is not chosen randomly. He's already been walking with Moses. He's already been serving. He's already proven faithful in quiet places before stepping into a public role. He was there on the mountain. He was there in the tent of meeting. He was one of the two spies who trusted God when others feared.

Joshua didn't force his way into leadership. He was prepared for it. And this is an important principle: calling is not something you seize; it's something that's recognized and confirmed over time. God identifies Joshua as a man in whom is the spirit. That's the defining characteristic: not charisma, not influence, not popularity. The spirit. Because true leadership in the kingdom of God is not about external strength; it's about internal alignment.

Now, when Moses is instructed to lay hands on Joshua in the presence of the priest and the entire community, this is not a private transition. It's public. It's visible. It's unmistakable. Authority is being transferred. Responsibility is being given, and clarity is being established. Moses places some of his authority upon Joshua so that the people will listen to him. This is not about replacing Moses; it's about continuing the mission.

And this is something that we need to understand. God's work is bigger than any one person. Moses was essential, but he's not the end of the story. And neither are we. There's something humbling in that, and something freeing because it reminds us that we're part of a larger narrative. We're called to be faithful in our season, in our assignment, and then to release what God has entrusted to us when the time comes.

Now, let's connect this to the New Testament. This language of sheep without a shepherd appears again in the Gospels. When Yeshua looks at the crowds, he sees people who are lost, scattered, and in need of leadership. And he responds with compassion because the heart of God has not changed. He desires His people to be led, to be guided, to be cared for. And ultimately, Messiah becomes the good shepherd, the one who not only leads, but the one who lays down his life for the sheep.

Now, here's the takeaway for us. Where are you in this process? Are you in a season of being led? Are you in a season of preparation? Are you in a place where God is shaping your character before giving you responsibility? Or are you in a place where you're called to lead, to guide, and to care for others? Because each of those seasons matters, and none of them should be rushed. Joshua did not become Joshua overnight.

He became who he was through years of great faithfulness, through obedience in moments that no one else saw. And when the time came, he was ready: not because he forced the moment, but because God had formed him for it. There's also a challenge here for those who are leading. Moses shows what it looks like to release well: to think beyond yourself, to ensure that what God has started continues beyond your own involvement. And that requires humility.

It requires trust. It requires a deep understanding that the work belongs to God and not to me. In the next part, we're going to shift into something that might feel different, but it's actually deeply connected. God begins the outline for the daily, weekly, and yearly offerings: the rhythm of worship that will sustain the people once they enter the land. Because leadership alone is not enough. The people must also remain connected to God.

As we continue in Parshat Pinchas, the focus shifts now again, and at first glance it might sound like a sudden change in direction out of nowhere. We move from leadership transition into a detailed outline of offerings: the daily sacrifices, the Sabbath offerings, the new moon and the appointed times throughout the year. But this isn't a random insertion. It's connected to everything that we've just seen.

The people are about to enter the land. Leadership is being transferred. A new generation is rising. And God knows something essential. If they're going to remain aligned with Him, they will need more than just structure, more than leadership, more than inheritance. They will need rhythm. They will need consistent, repeated points of connection with Him. So God establishes a pattern: a daily offering in the morning and evening, every single day without exception.

This is not about emotion; it's not about waiting until you feel something. This is about daily faithfulness. It's about creating a life where God is not an occasional focus, but a constant presence. The day begins with Him, the day ends with Him, and there's no day that exists outside of that rhythm. Then comes the Sabbath, a weekly interruption of normal life, a reminder that everything does not depend on human effort, a call to rest, to trust, to realign.

And then the new moon, marking the passage of time, reminding the people that every cycle belongs to God. And that the appointed times, the festivals, the moments throughout the year that anchor people in remembrance, they have their identity and relationship bound up in him as well. What God is doing here is building a framework for sustained faith because moments alone are not enough.

A powerful experience, a dramatic encounter no matter how big, even a life-changing event, these are important, but they don't sustain life. What sustains life is rhythm, consistent return, repeated alignment. This is something that we understand in every other area of life. Growth doesn't come from one intense moment. It comes from consistent practice. Strength isn't built in a single effort; it's built over time.

And in the same way, spiritual life is not sustained by occasional passion; it's sustained by daily connection. Now, from a Jewish perspective, these offerings are not just rituals; they're relational because each sacrifice represents an approach, an acknowledgment, a dependence. And worship. The people were continually reminded that their lives were connected to God, that their time was not their own, that their provision was not self-generated. It all pointed back to God.

Now, when we move into the New Testament, we see that the sacrificial system, the temple worship, finds its ultimate fulfillment in Messiah. The offering has been made. The rhythm remains. The daily call to connection doesn't disappear just because Yeshua died and resurrected. Instead of bringing animals, now with no temple, we're bringing our lives. Instead of only external ritual, we're engaging in internal surrender.

The pattern of morning and evening, weekly rest, intentional remembrance, it still speaks to us today. And you can see this in the early believers. They prayed at the set times. They made the offerings. They gathered regularly. They structured their lives around connection with God. And this is where we need to be honest with ourselves. In a world that's constantly moving, constantly demanding, constantly distracted, it's very easy to lose rhythm.

It's easy to drift into a life where God becomes something we think about occasionally rather than someone we walk with daily. And that is dangerous. Let's connect this to our Messiah because this is where everything points. Yeshua embodies perfect alignment. As we saw at the beginning of the Torah portion with the zeal, his zeal is perfect. But it's never disconnected from the Father's will. His identity is secure.

He can be humble like Moses because he's rooted in who he is, not in what others say. His calling is clear and he walks in it without striving. And his life is marked by rhythm. He withdraws often to pray. He honors the appointed times, the holy times of the calendar. He lives in constant connection with the Father, and he tells us so. He is the picture of what a fully aligned life looks like.

And through him, we're invited into that same alignment: not by our own strength, not by perfect performance, but by walking into relationship, by allowing God to shape our hearts, our identity, our calling, and our rhythms. My friends, my prayer for you is that you will walk this week with alignment, not just in moments, but in every part of your life. May your passion be shaped by His heart, your identity rooted in His truth, your calling guided by His hand, and your daily rhythm anchored in His presence.

And may the peace that comes from that alignment settle deeply within you as you walk forward into everything that He has prepared. Shabbat Shalom.

Candace Long: You will hear Pastor Matt teach the Torah every Saturday morning from 6:00 to 6:30. He always begins hour one. Coming up next is Families Under Attack with Rejon Morrison. This week's episode is case history part two, which was inspired by a listener who wrote in for help with her son and gave us permission to use it as a teaching tool.

When you are suddenly faced with someone who needs ministry, what Rejon is doing with us here is teaching us how to assess a person's hurts and needs and help them. There's a lot of wisdom here. I'm Candace Long. I want to welcome you to Families Under Attack with Rejon Morrison, helping you make sense of the upheaval that you may be going through in your family.

Today, we're going to continue examining the case history that we began last week of a woman we're referring to as Diane, who is deeply troubled by the constant verbal attacks and threats that she's getting from her son, whom we'll call Sam. Last week, Rejon did an incredibly thorough job walking us through the fact-finding process that she recommended in order to develop a game plan on how best to minister to the trauma that Diane is going through first of all, and then the things to consider in bringing about healing within each of them, ultimately bringing about reconciliation between mother and son.

And one of our goals of this case history is to give you, the listener, some tools that you can use when you run across people who are deeply wounded and the Lord opens the door for you to minister to them. Where do you even begin? What kinds of information do you need to seek answers to first so that you can assess the situation? Most important, how do we bring the Lord into all of this? And today, Rejon is going to share some real-life examples of how these principles of fact-finding help formulate a game plan of deep ministry and inner healing.

Now, before bringing Rejon on, let me repeat what Diane originally wrote us, giving us permission to discuss her situation on the air with the hope that it can help others. So here's what Diane wrote. "Right now, after two years of blocking my son Sam due to highly vitriol and ugly evil texts directed at me personally, I need understanding and direction as to what happened. Mental illness, the devil, and things I don't know are at work within him. I want my son back, reconciled and thriving. He constantly threatens his life and my life, and I thank you for any help that you can give me."

Rejon, welcome back, first of all. Sum up for us how we ended things last time, and were there things we didn't have time to cover that you want to bring up?

Rejon Morrison: In that previous session, we talked a lot about what I called exploring the spiritual realm. And there were a lot of questions about her son, his birth, spiritual questions. Was he a believer? Had he committed his life to the Lord? Where was he spiritually? What kind of influences were happening? What we were doing was we were looking for doors that had been opened for the enemy to come in. And the last area that we addressed was the importance of asking the question about Masonic involvement in the family. We ended there.

We know how damaging that can be. It's a very real issue that must be dealt with, and we talked about some people may not know about their family history. But the importance of asking and being open to the Holy Spirit that if it's an issue, He's going to bring it up. He'll make that clear either through somebody they're working with and questions that come, or just within themselves there'll be a knowing.

We talked a lot about the importance of not feeling like I've got to figure all of this out. This is about the Lord bringing things to the surface in His time and way. And these questions are designed to just help the individual know, help this woman have a better sense of what kind of patterns are there, what do I see happening, Lord, how are you directing. So what we're going to do in this session is look more practically now at their relationship. And so some of the questions, I would kind of call this looking at the natural realm. What's actually been happening? And we have some questions that I think might be really helpful to again get that picture to get a game plan.

So let's just go back to when did struggles with him first begin? They might have begun in her mind when he was a baby with colic and that he wasn't able to really attach to her. That can happen with some of our children. One of my sons was born prematurely and just had a lot of struggles and it seemed like a difficult relationship from the beginning. He was also number two and only 18 months difference between my daughter and him. So there were a lot of dynamics around that that I can look back on. What does she see? So asking those questions.

She mentions mental illness. So obviously a question is: Has he been properly diagnosed by a counselor or a psychiatrist or a medical doctor? And if so, what was that diagnosis? That could be very telling. Now, when people tell me about a diagnosis, I'm always skeptical depending upon who made that diagnosis. And also we have seasons in counseling where there are very popular diagnoses where it's the easy out. Now, if clinicians are listening, that probably made them angry that I said that, but I just really want to make sure we have a good, full picture of what's going on and that the diagnosis doesn't become God. It's still very important information. Does that make sense?

Candace Long: If somebody has mental illness in their background, that means that there is a proclivity that the person may develop that, or that that is an open door that something was happening that was not right, that was not confessed on a spiritual level that you would go into inner healing that way?

Rejon Morrison: I think we need to suss that out. And I think you want to deal with both because if an individual, just think about this, if an individual has been given a diagnosis, there's shame with that. Whether it's a learning difference issue like attention deficit, with or without hyperactivity, there's something wrong with me. I'm not okay. I'm different. And so that stronghold is an open door for the enemy to come in. So we really want to look at it in a very holistic way, not compartmentalized. And I love the comment you made. We want to look at that for sure, both of those areas.

Candace Long: With my background, breast cancer was a huge deal in my family. My mother died very young and her sister died very young, which I understood I began to trace that back to the Masonic background because premature deaths is one of the symptoms of people with a Masonic background. As I was growing as a woman, of course I had this huge diagnosis: high risk to develop cancer. And then the doctors would say, "Well, do you want to take the test to see if you have the BRCA gene or whatever the gene is?" I said no, I don't want to take a test.

I don't want somebody to pronounce, "Oh gosh, you've got it all just getting ready to go," because that's where my faith would have a problem. I believe that the Lord can bypass anything once we have dealt with it and we've confessed whatever we needed to confess.

Rejon Morrison: Amen. And there will be people and listeners who, yes, I want to know. That's not a problem for me to know. It's what you do with the knowing. And I love how you spoke into that. Our faith, if we bring that to the Lord, where has this come from, do you want to show me something about my family background that I can have the power to break with You, Lord? Hallelujah. We're not victims either way.

He is the God who redeems. And that's the backdrop that we're looking at. If the listener could imagine me holding both of my hands out together, like they're together and open, imagine those hands. That's a problem in our family and we see it in our lineage, like the whole Masonic thing. We've got it in our hands, it's kind of been given to us generationally, let's say. Imagine taking your hands and putting them over your face like, oh God! And it's the total focus, this thing and the fear that comes in.

But an imagery, if you can follow this imagery of what you shared is you've got it, you see it, there's an ownership of this has come to me, not taking the hands and pushing it away, it's a godly this is going on in a way that we lift our hands to the Lord and look to Him as the redeemer, deliverer.

Candace Long: That's great. That's super.

Rejon Morrison: You know, because that's the whole power of: Yes, this is happening, but You, Lord.

Candace Long: But we have an opportunity to stand in the gap for our family.

Rejon Morrison: Amen.

Candace Long: Because we have family destinies too. And so when we step in there, because one of my ancestors was one of the founding fathers and he started Masonic lodges all over the United States. So, I've done a lot of repenting from that whole thing and I'm saying, Lord, I'm standing in the gap for that and to bring you in and heal this family.

Rejon Morrison: Amen. Think about that. The power that we have. Now, our children will still have choices, right? But we can break that power over them to enable their choice for God in a beautiful way. That's the power of intercession. So, as we go through this, as I've shared in the last session, some listeners will be triggered by the things we're talking about. And hallelujah because you can take what the Holy Spirit is bringing up in the way we're describing and bring it to the Lord and in the power of His blood and His grace we can see things begin to change in our family.

Amen. So again, hallelujah. Well let's go back to these questions that might help listeners. We talked about diagnosis. We talked about shame. Practically, when did Mom see these things begin? How old was he? That's important to know. And how did it present itself? Was it behaviorally? Was it just anger? Was that the pattern? And how did it show up in relationships? We shared a little bit about that in the previous session. Has he taken medication? And if he did, what was the result?

If he took a lot of medication, that in and of itself is shaming. It's a constant reminder of something is wrong with me. And was there benefit? Was it temporary benefit or did it require more meds later on in life? And if so, what happened? And what about just the practicality of physical health issues? I've heard and had clients who, growing up, had a lot of ear infections and ended up in the hospital, ended up with tubes. And that was traumatic for them.

And when I looked at the age that that happened, some very interesting spiritual things showed up as well as the practical of developmental issues and strongholds coming in. A lot of trauma can happen through hospitalizations, especially when we're younger or even older. So ongoing health issues is really important. Has he been willing to seek counseling? What is the pattern with that? Was it all his problem or did Mom engage in that process? It is so easy for us as parents when we see the issues with our children to: well, they need to get better, we need to get them help.

And then the family work isn't happening to support those changes. I ran a residential treatment center for teenagers from 13 to 19, a Christ-centered program. And we found that the more the family was involved, the better the long-term result. And that was a big challenge because it's hard for us as parents sometimes to look at what our struggles are with that child.

Candace Long: Especially with a divorce that I'm gathering is in this situation.

Rejon Morrison: Absolutely. It's really, really tough. And the dynamics in divorce can exacerbate the issues that are going on through loyalty, the child struggling with loyalty, taking sides, parents taking sides. There's all kinds of a myriad of issues that come in with that. So it's very important to see if the family will be involved. So for her, this mom, we're asking questions about their relationship. Our goal, remember, was to help her feel more healed and empowered, and then all she can do is offer that to her son. He may say yes to that or no. We can't control that. And that's very, very difficult when we know we've done our work and our children still won't come forward.

Now, I wondered if she has other children or if he's an only child. The whole family relationships are very important. Does he have issues if he does have siblings with them? What is his birth order? We know there can be a lot of what I've referred to as strongholds related to birth order that come in. So for instance, the oldest child or maybe the only child can struggle with a lot of pressure of: I'm the responsible one, I have to do it, I'm the reflection of the family.

Whereas if you're kind of in the middle, that pressure's very different. It's like: I can't compete with that guy. So I'm just sort of lost and, you know, I'm in my bedroom reading or studying. That's a safe place because there's no pressure.

Candace Long: Just curiosity point. What have you seen more in your practice? Who has more trouble: the firstborns or the second?

Rejon Morrison: Oh gosh, we all get to have our problems. It really is more about how we work with those people because they have some unique, I'll call it, features related to birth or strongholds. And, you know, I just shared the oldest is usually kind of the hero for the family, but many times you'll see them end up being the scapegoat because the pressure's too big. Scapegoat is like, "Well, I'm not going to do what you say." And so number two child or one of the other ones that come along will take that role.

There's some great work done, really pioneering early family therapy around alcoholic families and looking at children and the dysfunction that come: the hero is usually the firstborn, like "I gotta make the family proud, I gotta take care of everything." The second child can be kind of the lost child, I was just talking about that. I don't want to be that person, it's too much pressure. One of the children can be the mascot, which is supersensitive and, you know, I'm aware of all the drama, so I'll make everybody laugh or kind of get their minds off of that, kind of the class clown.

Candace Long: Then you've got the peacemaker that tries to come in.

Rejon Morrison: But then you've also and usually that's hero, lost child, and even the mascot doing it in his own way. But then the scapegoat is: you're not going to tell me what to do, and can have great negative leadership. But what's interesting is the scapegoat has really high standards, but always feels condemned. And being negative is the only way to kind of be. So that's very basic, you know, and you can change roles as you go through life.

We teach this, we work with people with this on the retreat. It's very simple, but it's very profound because each one of these roles has these negative beliefs that impact them, affects relationships, and even distorts how they view the Lord. You know, this business of birth order and family dynamics that we've been talking about is really important to look at. And again, if you're an only child, if this young man or this man was an only child, he carried all of that with him.

Candace Long: I'm just thinking of a lot of blended families where you've got multiple parents here coming in and you may be the firstborn in your set, but now you've got stepbrothers and sisters that are older and all of a sudden you've been displaced.

Rejon Morrison: Absolutely. Good point. In blended families—and we have a blended family, we had two firstborns that were like competing. They were displaced in this new family. So that creates blended families, create a lot of issues that we see. So, if they're divorced, has there been a remarriage? So these are very practical, but do you hear again all the open doors that can come in spiritually?

One of the important questions is about disciplining. You know, how were you—this would be a question I would have for the mom—how were you disciplined as a child? How did this influence how you disciplined your son? I mean, many times we make vows of, "I'm not going to be like my mother, I'm not going to be like my father," and that creates its own path. Vows are never functional. They're always dysfunctional.

And when I talk about discipline, I want the listeners to think of a model of loving. What are we teaching our children about loving God as we discipline? And I know I love my dad and I would always get in trouble. I was that little hero who got tired of being the hero and so something was always happening. And he was a psychiatrist. He should have known better than this. But he would say—I got a lot of spankings, okay, but then he would also say—"Now go to your room, think about what you did and come back."

Later in life, I realized there was a huge stronghold message in that of: I'm alone. I have to figure it out myself and I have to make it right. I saw that when I watched my husband discipline my son and his daughter—so I mention we're a blended family. He took them up to the bedroom, he told them what they did wrong, he paddled both of them a little bit, gave them a little whack, okay, nothing abusive for listeners who are sensitive to that.

And then he said, "Come here," had one on one knee, one on another knee, put his arm around them and he said, "I love you very much and I just want you to learn that taking money out of our billfolds is not okay." And they were crying and being dramatic and I was mad as a hornet. He didn't do it right! And that's when the Holy Spirit—remember, the Holy Spirit is our teacher—it hit me. I never had that modeled for me.

Candace Long: Wow.

Rejon Morrison: And the beauty of that. So the disciplining question and reflecting on that and what were the love messages, how were you teaching them about conviction, grace, and comfort as we learn from our mistakes?

Candace Long: And accountability.

Rejon Morrison: Don't take money from our wallets, right? But the love, that's what hit me. I had never God gave me a love picture in my husband that I had never experienced and taught me a love lesson through that. So I want the listeners to be thinking about this. So, how did he deal with conflict generally? Did they ever have a relationship where they could work through things? That's about grace and forgiveness. Could he enter into that? How did she demonstrate that? And how is she experienced?

Candace Long: So let's bring this then to closure here because we've only got a minute. So once she finds all of these answers to these questions, then that would be the best way to come to a counselor and say, "These are the things that I have seen happening," and she would have a head start on the situation of at least healing what she has been struggling with.

Rejon Morrison: Oh my goodness, if somebody came to me with that information, I'd be like: Yes, and amen! We can rock and roll. Are you willing to do some work yourself to be prepared for Holy Spirit, what are you saying to me now about my son as a next step?

Candace Long: That is perfect. Well, I pray that we have given Diane some guidance and also our listeners. And again, she is welcome to reach out to you individually as our listeners. But if you want to get in touch with Healing for the Nations, go to Rejon Morrison's handout on our main page and that has the address of the contact information of how to reach out to her. But if you have a question or situation going on in your family that you'd like Rejon to discuss, please submit it.

Go to ShabbatShalomRadio.com and look for the button at the top that says Email the Show. I'm Candace Long and you've been listening to Families Under Attack with Rejon Morrison. Join us next Saturday morning from 6:30 to 7:00. Shabbat Shalom. If you'd like to learn more about Rejon and her ministry, Healing for the Nations, click on the Rejon Morrison handout at the top of our main ShabbatShalomRadio.com page.

Coming up in the next hour is Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Michael Washer, followed by a foundational teaching on the season that we're in right now on God's timetable. We are entering the most dangerous period for God's people. Stay tuned for the second hour on WEZE AM 590, our media partner for ShabbatShalomRadio.com.