Shabbat Shalom

Candace Long: Good morning and welcome to Shabbat Shalom. I'm Candace Long, your host and producer. In just a few minutes, Pastor Matt will bring us today's Torah portion, Sh'mini, as we return to study Leviticus 9 through 11. I pray that you had a meaningful Pesach. I couldn't help but think of our Jewish brothers and sisters keeping this festival in Israel with the skies lit up by incoming missiles.

The sound that most Israelis are hearing are the sirens calling them to the bomb shelters. But the sound that devout Jews were hearing was the call to celebrate Pesach as an everlasting ordinance throughout their generations as it is written in the Torah. These have learned to live out Psalm 91 by running into the shelter of the Most High and abiding in the shadow of the Almighty no matter where they are. They have learned to always be aware of the angels who have charge of them, guarding them in all of their ways. Do we have this level of faith?

There's another sound that many Jews are also hearing right now, and that's the sound of the Master of the universe calling them to come home. Just the other day, I read an internet article with the headline, "Aliyah Soars Despite Hamas War." And the article opened by saying, "Even as rockets streak across the Israeli sky and the echoes of war reverberate, North American Jews are continuing to make Aliyah, immigrating to Israel in numbers that defy the anxieties of the moment. This isn't simply a relocation. It's a profound statement of faith, resilience, and an unshakable belief in the future of the Jewish homeland."

This article bears witness to several prophecies that we are seeing being fulfilled. Ezekiel 11:17 tells us, "Though I have cast them far off among the Gentiles and scattered them among the countries, yet will I be to them as a little sanctuary in the countries where they have come." Now let's just stop here a minute. While in these countries, such as the United States, God promised to be a sanctuary for them. The Hebrew word for sanctuary is the word Mikdash, which is what we're studying now in Leviticus, the Tabernacle.

Jews felt safe here because they sensed the Mikdash here. But no longer. The cloud of God's presence has left, and His people are sensing with their spiritual ears that HaShem has moved. This should be a huge warning sign for us who live here. Let's fast forward to Ezekiel 36:23, which foretells what God will do at the end of this exile, saying, "I will sanctify My great name, which was profaned among the Gentiles, which you have profaned in the midst of them.

And the Gentiles shall know that I am the Lord, says the Lord God, when I will be sanctified in you before their eyes. For I will take you from among the Gentiles and gather you out of all countries and will bring you into your own land." What this is saying is that the mere fact that so many Jews are leaving our country is the sanctification or setting apart of the God of Israel.

We are about to see our God in a whole new way because they are leaving. We think we're okay because we're in America. No, we're not okay. God is going to make His name great because the Jews are leaving. We are going to feel the absence of the Commonwealth of Israel, and I believe we are about to be plunged into the most difficult season of our lives. Our safe place is learning all about the Mikdash and how we are to learn to dwell there. Let's recite the Shema together.

Shema Yisrael, Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai Echad. Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one. Baruch shem kavod malchuto l'olam va'ed. Blessed be the name of His glorious kingdom for all eternity. And the last section: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words which I set up for you this day shall be upon your heart.

And you shall teach them diligently to your children. You shall speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk on the way, when you lie down and when you rise. And you shall bind them as a sign upon your arm and as frontlets between your eyes. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and in your gates.

Pastor Matt McKeown: Good morning once again, dear friends, and welcome to Shabbat Shalom, where we explore the Torah and discover the deep Jewish roots of our Christian faith. I'm Pastor Matt McKeown, and today we come to one of the most dramatic and powerful portions in the book of Leviticus, Parashat Sh'mini. Now, the word Sh'mini means eighth, and right away that word invites us to pay attention because in the Bible, numbers often carry meaning.

Seven represents completion, the cycle of creation, but eight represents something new—new beginnings, a step beyond the natural cycle. And that's exactly what we see in this Torah portion. For seven days, Aaron and his sons had been consecrated as priests. They had gone through the ordination process that we read about in Parashat Tzav. They were washed, clothed, anointed, prepared. And now, on the eighth day, their ministry officially begins.

This is their first day serving as priests before the Lord. Imagine the anticipation. The Tabernacle is ready, the altar is prepared, the priests are in place. The people are gathered. Everything has been building toward this moment. And Moses says something remarkable to Aaron: "Today, the Lord will appear to you." This is what the entire sacrificial system has been leading toward—not ritual, not religion, not performance, but presence.

God is about to reveal His glory in a visible way. This is the ultimate goal of worship: to encounter the living God. The people are not gathered out of routine; they are gathered with expectation. God is going to show up. Aaron begins by offering sacrifices for himself and for the people. This is important. Even the high priest must first address his own sin before he can represent others.

Holiness begins personally. Only then can it extend outward. The offerings follow a familiar pattern: a sin offering, a burnt offering, a peace offering. Each one represents a different aspect of relationship with God—repentance, surrender, fellowship. Aaron carries out the instructions exactly as God commanded, and the people watch, waiting, hoping, anticipating. Then it happens. Scripture says the glory of the Lord appeared to all the people.

Imagine that moment—the entire community gathered, eyes fixed on the Tabernacle, and suddenly the presence of God becomes visible. This is what they had been waiting for. This is what they had hoped for: the Creator of heaven and earth revealing Himself among His people. But the moment becomes even more dramatic. The Torah tells us fire came out from before the Lord and consumed the offering on the altar. This was no ordinary fire.

This was divine fire—fire from heaven. God Himself ignites the altar. And when the people see this, they respond in two ways: they shout and they fall on their faces. Joy, awe, worship—this is the proper response to encountering God's glory. Notice the reaction of the people. They shout in celebration, but they also fall on their faces in reverence.

This is an important balance. Worship includes joy, but it also includes awe. God is loving, but He is also holy. True worship holds both of these realities together. Parashat Sh'mini begins with a powerful reminder: the goal of everything we do in worship is not performance, it's presence. The sacrifice, the rituals, the preparation—all of it leads to this moment, God revealing Himself to His people. This is what makes worship meaningful—not what we bring, but who we encounter.

As we continue in Parashat Sh'mini, we move from one of the most glorious moments in the Torah to one of the most sobering. Just moments after fire comes down from heaven and the people rejoice in the presence of God, something goes terribly wrong. The Torah tells us, "Now Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu took their censers, put fire in them and added incense, and they offered unauthorized fire before the Lord, which He had not commanded them."

And then, suddenly, fire came out from before the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. This is a shocking moment. The same fire that had just consumed the offering on the altar now consumes two of the priests. Naturally, this raises a question, the question everyone asks: What did they do wrong? The Torah says that they offered unauthorized fire or, as some translations put it, strange fire. But what does that mean?

The text does not give a detailed explanation, and throughout Jewish history, scholars have wrestled with this question. Several interpretations have been offered in the Jewish tradition. Some suggest that Nadab and Abihu brought fire that did not come from the altar. Remember, the fire on the altar had been lit by God Himself. To bring a different fire may have been a way of disregarding God's provision.

Others suggest that they acted without being commanded. They took initiative in a moment that required obedience. Still others suggest that they entered a sacred space improperly or at the wrong time. Some even note that later in the chapter, priests are warned about serving while intoxicated, leading to speculation that they may not have been in a proper state of mind at that time.

But perhaps the most consistent theme across these interpretations is this: they approached God in a way that God had not intended. This moment reminds us of something very important. God is loving, God is gracious, but God is also holy. The presence of God is not something to approach casually. Nadab and Abihu were not outsiders; they were priests. They had just been consecrated.

They had seen the glory of God. And yet, in that moment, something shifted. Perhaps they became too comfortable, too familiar, too confident, and they crossed a line. After this shocking event, Moses speaks to Aaron and says, "This is what the Lord spoke of when He said: 'Among those who approach Me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.'" This statement is key. God's holiness must be recognized.

Those who serve Him must honor that holiness. Worship is not about self-expression; it's about responding to who God is. Then the Torah gives us a small but powerful detail: Aaron remained silent. Imagine the weight of that moment. There are few verses in Scripture that are more profound than that one. Aaron has just lost two sons in a moment, in the presence of God, at the very place where they had been consecrated to serve.

And the text says he was silent. Jewish tradition often reflects deeply on this moment, and some sages suggest that Aaron's silence was not empty. It was full—full of grief, full of shock, full of reverence. It was the silence of someone who recognizes that he is standing in the presence of something greater than he can fully understand. This is not indifference; this is not emotional numbness. This is a sacred silence—a moment where words fall short.

And in that silence, Aaron acknowledges both his pain and God's holiness. This moment introduces to us one of the most difficult but important truths in Scripture: God is both near and holy. So far, we have seen the beauty of God's presence—fire from heaven, joy, worship, celebration. But now we see another side. God's holiness is not something to take lightly. There is a tension here. God invites us close, but He's not casual.

He is not common. He's not something we shape according to our preferences. He is holy, and true worship requires that we approach Him on His terms, not ours. After this event, Moses gives instructions that Aaron and his remaining sons are not to leave the Tabernacle or mourn in the usual way. This might seem harsh at first, but it reflects the seriousness of their role. The priests were called to represent God before the people.

Their service could not be interrupted. Their calling required them to remain focused on their responsibility, even in moments of personal pain. This reminds us that spiritual leadership often carries weight. It requires faithfulness, not only in moments of joy but also in moments of difficulty. Immediately following this incident, God gives a command to Aaron: "Do not drink wine or strong drink when you go into the tent of meeting, so that you can distinguish between the holy and the common, between the unclean and the clean."

This is significant. Right after the tragedy of Nadab and Abihu, God emphasizes the importance of discernment—the ability to distinguish, to recognize what is holy, to recognize what is appropriate, to understand the difference between what God has commanded and what God has not. This suggests that part of what went wrong was a failure of discernment—a failure to recognize the weight of the moment.

One of the subtle dangers in spiritual life is becoming too familiar. Nadab and Abihu had seen the glory of God. They had been set up as priests. They were part of the inner circle. And yet, in that familiarity, something went wrong. Sometimes the more we see and are around sacred things, it's easier to lose our sense of awe. We begin to treat holy things as ordinary.

We begin to assume instead of listen. We begin to act instead of wait. This passage calls us back to a posture of reverence—a reminder that God is not something we control, He's something we respond to. As Parashat Sh'mini continues, the focus shifts dramatically. We move from the dramatic moment of Nadab and Abihu to a long list of animals: clean animals, unclean animals, things that may be eaten, things that must be avoided.

At first glance, this section can feel disconnected from everything we've just read, but in reality, it's deeply connected because the same theme continues: holiness requires discernment. God begins by telling Moses and Aaron which animals are considered clean and which are considered unclean. Land animals must have split hooves and chew the cud. Fish must have both fins and scales.

Certain birds are prohibited. Creeping creatures are considered unclean. These distinctions form the foundation of what is often called Kashrut or the kosher dietary laws. But the purpose of these laws goes far beyond food. They are about learning to live with awareness, with intentionality, with discernment. For centuries, people have asked: Why these animals? Why these distinctions?

Various explanations have been offered. Some suggest health reasons; others point to cultural distinctions separating Israel from other surrounding nations. But within Jewish tradition, one of the most consistent explanations is this: these laws are about training the heart and mind to distinguish. Every meal becomes an opportunity to remember I belong to God. Even something as ordinary as eating becomes an act of awareness.

It's important for us to understand that the categories of clean and unclean in the Torah are not primarily about hygiene. They're about ritual and symbolic categories. Something that is unclean is not necessarily sinful; it's simply not appropriate for certain contexts, particularly in relation to worship. This helps us understand that the Torah is teaching a language of distinction—a way of seeing the world through the lens of holiness.

Many scholars have noted that the animals considered clean tend to fit into recognizable categories. They function in ways that align with their created order. For example, land animals walk on land, fish swim in water, birds fly in the air. Creatures that blur these categories often fall into the unclean category. This reflects a broader biblical theme: God is a God of order, and holiness often involves living in alignment with that order.

Parashat Sh'mini connects directly back to the tragedy of Nadab and Abihu. What was the issue there? A failure to distinguish—a failure to recognize what was appropriate in a holy moment. And immediately after that, God begins teaching Israel how to distinguish between clean and unclean, between holy and common, between appropriate and inappropriate. This isn't random; it's intentional.

God is training His people to become a community that lives with spiritual awareness. Discernment is not only about big decisions; it's about daily choices—what we allow into our lives, what we prioritize, what we value. The Torah teaches that even something as simple as eating can reflect deeper spiritual awareness. If that's true for food, how much more is it true for the rest of life?

At the end of this section, God says something very important: "I am the Lord your God. Consecrate yourselves and be holy because I am holy." This is the key to understanding everything in this chapter. The goal is not restriction; the goal is identity. God's people are called to reflect His character, to live different, to be set apart. Holiness is not about being strange; it's about being aligned with God.

As we continue in Parashat Sh'mini, all of the themes we've been exploring begin to come together: the glory of God appearing among His people, the tragedy of Nadab and Abihu, the call to discern between clean and unclean. And now, at the heart of it all, we hear this defining statement from God: "Be holy because I am holy." This is one of the most important commands in all of the Bible. It's repeated multiple times throughout the Torah, and it becomes a foundational principle for understanding what it means to live in relationship with God.

What does holy mean? When many people hear the word holy, they think of something distant, untouchable, reserved for religious leaders or special places. But in the Hebrew Bible, the word for holy, Qadosh, means set apart. It means something that's distinct, different, belonging to God. So when God says be holy, He's not asking His people to become distant or unreachable; He's calling them to live lives that are distinctly aligned with Him.

It's important to notice the command to be holy is rooted in God's own character. Be holy because I am holy. In other words, holiness is not about human effort alone; it's about reflecting the nature of God. The closer we draw to God, the more our lives begin to reflect His character—His compassion, His justice, His faithfulness, His purity. Holiness is not just a rule; it's a relationship.

Now, up to this point in Leviticus, most of the focus has been on the Tabernacle—the altar, the sacrifices, the priests. But now we see something important. Holiness is not confined to the Tabernacle. It extends to everyday life—what you eat, how you act, how you treat others, how you live. God is forming a people whose entire lives reflect His presence.

Parashat Sh'mini holds together two truths that we must never separate: God is near and God is holy. We saw the beauty of God's presence, we saw the seriousness of approaching Him incorrectly. These two realities must remain together. If we focus only on God's nearness, we risk becoming casual. If we focus only on His holiness, we risk becoming distant.

But when we hold both ideas together, we find the true heart of worship—a relationship marked by both love and reverence. Living a holy life today can feel challenging. We live in a world filled with distractions, competing values, constant noise. It can be easy to lose sight of what matters most. But Parashat Sh'mini reminds us that holiness begins with awareness—awareness of God's presence, awareness of our choices, awareness of how we live.

Holiness is not about withdrawing from the world; it's about living in the world with a different perspective. One of the key lessons from this portion is that small choices matter. What you eat, what you say, how you act—each decision becomes an opportunity to reflect your identity. The dietary laws may not apply to us as Gentiles in the same way that they do to Jewish people, but the principle remains: our daily choices shape our lives, and over time, these choices form our character.

Holiness is built one decision at a time. Ultimately, the call to holiness is a call to reflect God—to live in a way that reveals His character, to bring light into darkness, to bring peace into conflict, to bring truth into confusion. The people of Israel were called to be a visible representation of God's presence in the world, and that calling continues for all who seek Him.

As we come to the close of Parashat Sh'mini, we step back and see one of the most powerful contrasts in all of Scripture. A portion begins with glory—fire from heaven, God revealing Himself to the people, a moment of joy, awe, and celebration. And then, almost immediately, we encounter tragedy: Nadab and Abihu, two priests, consumed by that same fire. And from there, the Torah moves into something that seems much quieter: the laws of clean and unclean.

But when we step back, we realize that all of these moments are connected by one central theme: holiness. Parashat Sh'mini teaches us something essential about God. He is near. He reveals Himself. He invites His people into His presence. But He's also holy. He's not casual. He's not something we shape according to our preferences.

He is God, and this creates a tension that runs throughout all of the Bible. God invites us close, but He calls us to come with reverence. Today, we live between two realities: the joy of God's presence and the weight of His holiness. If we lean too far in one direction, we lose something important. If we focus only on joy, we risk becoming casual, and if we focus only on holiness, we risk becoming distant.

But as I've said, true worship holds both of these ideas together—joy and reverence, love and awe, celebration and humility. This is what the people of Israel experienced in this portion, and this is what we are called to experience as well. The fire in this portion is one of the most powerful images. In part one, the fire is a blessing—fire from heaven consuming the offering, a sign that God is present.

But in part two, that same fire becomes a fire of judgment. And this reminds us that God's presence is not something we control. It reveals. It reveals what is aligned with Him and it reveals what is not. The fire itself does not change; what changes is how people approach it. This is why the Torah moves into the laws of clean and unclean, because holiness requires discernment.

It requires the ability to recognize what God aligns with and what God does not. The tragedy of Nadab and Abihu was not simply a mistake; it was a failure to discern, a failure to recognize the weight of the moment. And so God begins to teach His people how to live with awareness, how to distinguish, how to live lives that reflect His holiness.

One of the greatest dangers in spiritual life is losing our sense of awe—becoming too familiar, too casual, assuming instead of listening. Nadab and Abihu had seen the glory of God. They had been set apart as priests. And yet, in that moment, something shifted. They approached God in a way that He had not commanded. This portion reminds us that familiarity should never replace reverence.

The more we encounter God, the more we should be in awe of Him. And yet, despite the seriousness of this portion, the invitation of God remains. He still calls His people to draw near. He still desires relationship. He still reveals His presence. The goal of holiness is not distance; it's deeper relationship. And God calls His people to live in a way that reflects who He is, so that they can experience His presence more fully.

Brothers and sisters, may the God who revealed His glory among His people reveal His presence in our lives. May we approach Him with both joy and reverence, with hearts that are open and attentive. And may we walk each day in holiness, reflecting His character in all that we do. May the presence of the Lord guide you, and may your life be filled with His peace, His wisdom, and His holy presence. My dear friends, Shabbat Shalom.

Candace Long: You can hear Pastor Matt teach the Torah every Saturday morning from 6:00 to 6:30. If you're a new listener and you want to start studying with us every week, be sure and download our Torah schedule that is available on our main ShabbatShalomRadio.com page. It tells you what passage we are studying every week.

Coming up next is part eight of Families Under Attack with mental health counselor Rajan Morrison. To learn more about her 50-year background pioneering Christ-centered rehabilitation, I refer you to her handout, which you'll find at the top of our main page. Last week, Rajan and I discussed the problem of depression that a lot of teens and young adults are struggling with.

And this week, we're going to discuss what could happen if depression is not addressed. Our topic is suicidality, which is every parent's nightmare. You're going to learn why the number of suicides among young people have risen so dramatically. What is going on? And how do parents and grandparents help our young people when so many of them shut us off and look to social media to tell them how they're doing?

What are the warning signs when an intervention is necessary, and how do we even do one? Join me in welcoming Rajan Morrison. I'm Candace Long. I want to welcome you to Families Under Attack with Rajan Morrison, giving you perspective on how to minister to the disruption that your family may be experiencing.

Last week we discussed depression, and today we're going to deal with one of its most feared offshoots, which is suicidality. Rajan, it's nice to be with you again.

Rajan Morrison: It's great to be here.

Candace Long: Well, we closed last week by sharing the emotional journey of a woman named Claire in her early 20s over a four-year period, and her primary presenting symptom throughout these years was depression. And I think the question that many parents have is: How can you know when an adolescent or young adult depression is not going to end up in a suicide attempt?

Rajan Morrison: I don't think we can know that it won't, and that's the scary part. When we see ongoing signs, particularly a pattern—I've got one father who has a 16-year-old son who has a history of some symptoms of anxiety and then really got in trouble about a year ago, a lot of trouble at school, started using drugs. What that father does is—and he's become more isolated, so he's gone through COVID.

Think about this young man, right? And the isolation there that has affected so many people. What the father is saying is, "Well, he's a normal teenager being disrespectful." So there's this what's normal today for a teen? It's a different normal, but it's a scary normal. So when we see ongoing patterns, some action needs to be taken.

And parents need to wake up. Don't excuse it away. The sooner we deal with an infection, the sooner our physical body can heal and move on. It's the same thing with mental illness. So we need to pay attention to the signs. And sometimes, I know of a case where this student was excelling, doing really, really, really well. Leadership... couldn't ask for what looked like a better kid.

Engaging with people, lots of friends, played sports, but he was doing some internet kinds of things and got in trouble with pornography and some threatened situations because of the doors he'd opened into. He only knew how to succeed; he didn't know how to fail. And he couldn't talk to his parents about those threats and what was happening. And this wonderful young man committed suicide.

It was a horrible shock. The family absolutely felt like, "We didn't know; we didn't see the symptoms." So as parents, we have to—we have to be on in a way now that when I was raising my kids, I'd let them go outside and play and ride their bike a mile away and knew they knew enough about how to keep themselves safe.

It's a very different world that we live in right now. So we talked in the first session about the "I'm responsible" that we can carry that creates codependency, kind of a helicopter parenting. We've got to know how to manage that. We can't carry that weight. That's not healthy. But we have to be more aware of the challenges that are out there.

Candace Long: Did those parents not have warning signals? Were they in denial to see how far down the young man was going?

Rajan Morrison: I think a warning signal—and I want to share this with people because this seems bizarre—but when our kids succeed and succeed and succeed, parents often who are aware of that pressure will say, "Hey, we don't expect you to do this." But at the same time we're bragging, we're constantly, "Oh, you're doing great."

Kind of the messages that we send are, "You have to do this." We're not talking to them or helping them with: What happens if you fail? What would you think? What do you think about God? This young man loved the Lord, but he had a view of the Lord obviously—I can't fail, I have to fix it for God.

So even success, we need to pay attention to that pressure. And parents can monitor internet time, and there are tracking systems that parents use. "Where are you? I want to know you're okay." And you work—there's a healthy way to work that out with your children that lets them know, one, you care, you're aware.

But again, I kind of want to put this back on us as parents. We've got to be doing our own work and modeling that so they can see how we deal with failure.

Candace Long: How would a parent even approach the subject with a teenage boy? "Are you doing porn?"

Rajan Morrison: Well, first of all, if you do it, they're going to say no, right? Right. Because it is so shameful. But to be able to just talk about that with them. It's everywhere, the temptations. And that, "Hey, if you find yourself struggling with something like this, let's talk about it." Or for a dad to say, "You know, I struggled with this when I was a teenager.

And I want to share what I went through and how the Lord helped me and the people I talked to." That's sharing your failures, right? In an appropriate way.

Candace Long: So when the young man was threatened, someone online was saying, "If you don't do such and such, I'm going to show your whole history to all of your school" or...

Rajan Morrison: That's right. That's what happened. Yeah.

Candace Long: And that would be a horrible, horrible, shameful—I mean, that's what happened with Epstein. He recorded all these famous people doing horrible things and hung it over their heads. When children shut us out, what does it look like to relinquish our fears about our child to the Lord?

Rajan Morrison: When our children shut us out, we need to have a healthy fear for them. Right? So let's talk about healthy fear and unhealthy fear. A healthy fear is also, "I've done all I can do." And this all is around the age of that child. You know, I've got children who are in their 50s. It's very different from when they're teenagers and still under my care, okay?

So when we've done—I come back to the Serenity Prayer. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." That's what can I really not change? "Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference." Courage to change the things I can. Right now, for instance, I've got a family—I'm not directly working with them, but I'm aware of their issues.

They've got a 15-year-old son who's struggling with substance abuse a lot. I mean, I would say he's probably addicted. He's not doing well in school. He's struggled with anxiety and depression, which is probably why he's medicating. He's socially more isolated except with the wrong crowd. Mom and dad both have addiction issues, don't really know the Lord.

The grandparents are the ones that are interceding and, "What can we do?" There's a divorce involved, so dad, natural bio dad, the child doesn't live with him; he lives with mom and stepdad. They don't want to deal with the son's addiction because they're addicted. It's almost like he's the sacrifice for their issues.

So there is a very real powerlessness that we have as grandparents. "To accept the things I can't change." It's like, "How do I have a voice? When do I have a voice? How do I do it in a godly way that also tries to speak truth? Do I even have that opportunity? Or am I relegated to intercessory prayer? Is that the only thing I can do?" That is a very real situation for probably a lot of people.

Candace Long: A lot of grandparents, because that generation is the one that still maintains faith here, and the others are kind of loosening in their reality with the Lord and their walk with the Lord. But if you're looking at a serious intercessor, because I'm thinking of friends that I have who are interceding for their family members, and they're very discouraged because they keep on praying, they're not seeing results like they want to.

And do they just continue going? If they're not seeing a result, what is the Lord saying? "I'm not powerful enough to deal with this," or "I'm teaching you about long-suffering"?

Rajan Morrison: I think it's long-suffering, and there are many elements to that. You know, when right now there is this wave of declaring and decreeing. Yes. And I get a little irritated with that, frankly. Me too. And let me clarify so that I'm not horrifying the listener. You know, the Lord is a gentleman. He honors our yes and our no. He gave us a will.

That was risky business, but Agape love requires a yes and a no, right? That's the highest form of love. And for the flesh to die, there's a sacrifice, because I'm saying, "Lord, I want more of You and less of me." And we all struggle with that. And so when we declare and decree, that's wonderful. Don't throw the baby out with the dirty bathwater, I'm going to call it.

But it's, "Lord, I'm praying over—" in there many ways we can pray over our families from ancestral sin prayer, praying the blessing, pleading the blood over our children, our grandchildren. But "Lord, You know this young man. You know my granddaughter. You know what they have said yes to. Convict them. Help them see You. Bring people into their life that speak truth because they may not be getting it from that parental system that they live under."

So we're praying for protection. And when we do that, and we can declare and decree all these truths over them, but we're still submitting. "Lord, let Your will be done in this," right? And we wear out. We do. I have felt the hopelessness, the strongholds that come in of "No matter what I do, it's not enough. I'm not enough." But Lord, You are.

And my job is to keep trusting Him in the midst of—that's the "yet shall I praise You, Lord." Even if this doesn't work out. And you know what? I have told people—we're talking about suicide—when their loved one who at some point in his or her life encountered the Lord, said yes to the Lord, looked like they walked away and they commit suicide.

I'm like: You don't know what happens when they meet Jesus face to face. You don't know. Don't quit praying for them. You don't know. And our hope has to be in Him, in the Lord and what He did on the cross. It has to be bigger than what we're looking at in our loved one, so that we don't become hopeless and jaded and apathetic, because that's the danger in our prayer life for our loved ones. We give up.

Candace Long: Well, I totally agree with that. How do you decide that it's time to do an intervention and how do you do an intervention?

Rajan Morrison: Well, it depends on what you're intervening upon. So for instance, I worked with a family whose son—he was in his 50s, very successful, artistic kind of guy, had left the faith—this is how they would describe it—to go into the gay lifestyle. Had huge substance abuse, addiction issues. Parents are now, let's say, in their mid-80s.

They've gone through a lot to get him in several treatment programs, so they're worn out. He's very dependent upon them, living in one of their homes—this is a wealthier family—but he's becoming more and more depressed. And I heard—I was actually working with the sister, the daughter of the parents, this is her brother.

And she had been a primary force in doing interventions and things hadn't worked and she started telling me about her brother and how worried she was and I said, "Well, he's at suicide risk now." He'd had an attempt, and that's one of the signs when there is an attempt, that person's more vulnerable. And I did a lot of work with the parents.

Candace Long: 80 years old?

Rajan Morrison: In their 80s. Yes. And they felt hopeless and done. I met with them three times, was very direct, told them how concerned I was. They finally got the interventionist. So when you work with somebody in an addiction, an active addiction, you really need to get somebody who specializes in that. And even though I had my—you know, I was an addiction counselor—what they will do is they will go do the family intervention, they work with the family, you have a designated program you've agreed upon, and they'll get on a plane and go with that person to make sure they get in treatment.

Because you've got to have that step in place or they might try to commit suicide at that point or go somewhere else to live and escape, right? So there's a lot of planning that is necessary. Unfortunately, and this happened, the parents started feeling like, "Well, this is too hard. He won't do it. We'll push him into suicide."

And I'm like, "They'll be with him the whole way through," right? We're trying to deal with that risk. So they delayed and sadly, in that interim—so this son didn't know what they were working on—he committed suicide.

Candace Long: Oh. So he didn't know that they were trying to intervene for him?

Rajan Morrison: He did not know that. And so you can imagine...

Candace Long: The guilt.

Rajan Morrison: This family—all of them—felt so guilty that, "Hey, we could have done something." And I'm like, "You were trying. You were working. You were doing what you felt like you needed to do." And he—he was very determined. So even if he had gone into treatment, he might have come out of treatment and done the same thing.

I said, "You know, you were moving forward one more time."

Candace Long: What are the statistics saying about suicidality today?

Rajan Morrison: Right now, it is the highest risk for young adults. There are more suicides than we've ever seen in young adults. And about 20% of our young people are going into full-blown mental illness. So think about Claire that we talked about in our last session. And what's happening is parents and grandparents—I mean, I think it's as high as 30%, actually—are finding themselves taking care of adult children or grandchildren.

Which, when we think about what's happening in our world and the billions of dollars mental health costs and lack of worth and lives that aren't taking their place, of course, we see the enemy's having a heyday in our world.

Candace Long: He is having a heyday. So if you've got—if you've got a double situation here, where on one hand the parent feels they've got to let the child or the young person live with them because they're afraid they're going to go out and commit suicide. So the young person then is controlling the parents with substandard behavior and has a free bed and free food and doesn't have to do anything.

So you've got that on the one hand. So the young person is controlling the parents. On the other hand, you've got a parent that says, "We're going to do tough love here. You—we have done everything we know to do for you. You are capable of holding down a job. We're not going to support dysfunctional behavior and you continue to choose dysfunctional behavior."

At what point do you get to that point? I'm afraid that would probably be my method, which is why I'm not in your position, and God didn't call me there.

Rajan Morrison: There's surely a place for that. But think about how you said that. It's all on the young person. If we can make it a "we," where the parents come and get help and start working on being healthier themselves to set better boundaries and to stage that leaving the nest in a way that there are real opportunities.

And when you see that young person isn't stepping up: "Okay, if you want to stay, we've got to do some work and get some help. We're willing to do it. We want you to be willing to do it. If you're not, we can't keep doing this because we love you so much, we can't just stay in this place. So we're going to have to come up with some things ourselves."

Candace Long: I told you beforehand that I've suffered from many things; depression is not one of them. Because I have found in my life—and maybe it's because the Lord has led me to specialize in this area—that when you know what God has created you to do, the depression goes away. When you see all that He has put inside of you...

And I guess because I have spent my whole life staring at my navel in self-introspection and self-discovery, that has pressed me into that to where I have a good understanding of the gifts and talents God put inside of me. And I've not suffered from depression, thank God. But I really think that that is a key that young people today don't know what God created them to do.

So they don't have a sense of that the Lord is saying, "Look, I put this, this, this, and this inside of you. I'm waiting for it to come out. Once you begin to even step forward toward that thing, I'm going to shore up under you and encourage you in that." That's my experience with the Lord and how gracious He's been. But how do you communicate that with a young person who has all these negative messages of, "I'm worthless, I have to manipulate other people by my dysfunction"?

Rajan Morrison: We go back to one of the root issues that's happening culturally that, you know, the enemy is so—well, has helped orchestrate through social media. That disconnect of a sense of self, the lack of empathy that we talked about. You know, if listeners haven't listened from our beginning, I really want to encourage them to do that and the things we've talked about because it lays a foundation or a framework.

There's not the sense of self. So you're talking about, "I've learned about me and what I'm good at. I've risked failure. I've learned how to kind of have some of that emotional regulation where I'm not going to give up. I haven't been spoonfed. I've had to get some muscle for life and living." And our young people aren't—aren't getting that right now.

So I don't know how we do it without the Lord, because He—He is resurrection power. And yes, He does that, but we also have to exercise that. That's what spiritual growth and maturity is. That's what hearing and the calling... and I just think of Jeremiah 29:11: "For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, not of evil, to give you a future and hope."

Candace Long: This has been a great show and a great topic, and I pray that it encourages families in crisis. If you have a situation in your family that you'd like Rajan to discuss, go to ShabbatShalomRadio.com and look for the button at the top that says "Email the Show." I'm Candace Long, and you've been listening to Families Under Attack with Rajan Morrison. Join us next Saturday morning from 6:30 to 7:00. Shabbat Shalom.

If you'd like to listen to this program again, it's available in our archives at the bottom of our main Shabbat Shalom page. They're arranged by date, teacher, and topic. Coming up in the next hour is Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Michael Washer. Stay tuned for the second hour on WEZE-AM 590, our media partner for ShabbatShalomRadio.com.