Richard Ellis Talks

Richard Ellis: Well, God's got everything. He can't possibly want my blanky. He can't want me to give this too. I've got to keep something that's me, something that I can hold onto for those moments when I'm afraid and insecure, and I'll just, "You can have everything, God. Just let me have this." And He says, "No, you've got to come clean."

Guest (Male): You're listening to Richard Ellis Talks with Richard Ellis. Richard's style is unlike anyone else's, where he shares the life-changing message of the Gospel in a way that's real, refreshing, focused, and fun.

We know that life is pretty challenging these days, but these talks will help you meet those challenges head-on with biblical truth, encouragement, and endurance. Now, if you're not able to stick around with us for all of today's talk, you can always listen to, download, and even share this entire message with a friend right from our website, RichardEllis.com. So, let's jump right in with today's talk. Here is Richard Ellis.

Richard Ellis: The title today's message is Come Clean. Let's say you kind of get everything cleaned up in terms of what other people see and you think, "I'm getting real, I'm being honest, I'm telling the truth." The question then becomes, okay, maybe you've cleaned it up a little bit and everybody around you is believing a little more and going, "Yeah, let's keep it real. It looks like you're keeping it real."

You know you can get things a little bit better. I remember as a kid, I think what we used to do was Mom would say go take a bath and we didn't want to take a bath because we had fun getting dirty and being dirty. We'd go up and find some perfume of some kind. Maybe I don't wear any of that stuff now just because of this, but you get a little perfume and you kind of slap a little under your arms and put it on you. Then you go back down and your mom starts going, "You smell different, but you still smell bad."

Technically it's better maybe, but when it gets right down to it, even if you've got everybody fooled, what I'd like for us to do today is come clean with ourselves. There's stuff in this room and beyond here that wives don't know about their husbands. You think you know each other. Husbands don't know about their wives. You think you know each other. And there's stuff that each of us carry around. Maybe it's from the past, but maybe it's just an ongoing thing.

For all intents and purposes, it looks like you're firing on all cylinders. But if you really, really, really let God go really, really, really deep and get down inside of you and go, "Oh, you're not telling me you're coming after that too, and I've got to come clean about that." It's almost like we have little spiritual blankies. If you've ever had kids or you've got kids, everybody know what a blanky is. I play with little kids every once in a while. They're usually toddlers and they've got a thumb and a blanky.

They are rubbing on that blanky and you kind of reach up and say, "Can I have your blanky?" "Can't have my blanky. My blanky." Parents that are smart get three blankies. You've got backup blankies, because if you go on a trip and lose a blanky, it's blanky-de-blanky-de-blanky. It's almost like we, and I talk to people, people talk to me and they say, "Okay, well this," and they start unloading all this stuff. Then you get down to like this last little thing, and I don't think anybody even outs this stuff.

Nobody's going to out themselves. They say, "Well, God's got everything. He can't possibly want my blanky. He can't want me to give this too. I've got to keep something that's me, something that I can hold onto for those moments when I'm afraid and insecure, and I'll just, you can have everything God, just let me have this." And He says, "No, you've got to come clean."

I wasn't sure I was going to tell this at the beginning or the end, and I can't make you do this because I have trouble even getting myself to do this. A good friend of mine, probably one of the best friends I have on the entire planet that I meet with every Friday of my life. We sit in a little restaurant across from each other and some days we laugh and sometimes we cry, but it has taken me a very, very, very long time to come almost completely clean with him, but I am still getting there.

Every week that goes by, I open up a little bit more and a little bit more and a little bit more. You say, "Well, shouldn't you be doing that with your wife?" Let me just tell you my opinion on this. I think you've lost your ever-loving mind. If you sit down with your wife as a man and tell your wife what you would tell another man about your struggles, you should be shot or you're about to be. I know there are couples that disagree with this and maybe everything works out fine for you. I'm not geared that way, okay?

I'm going to say this as loud and clear as I can to the men especially today. You better find you one somebody, somewhere and have a consistent sit down and talk or you are going down the tubes. It's just a matter of time. My friend has said this the last few times we've met. He keeps throwing this phrase out out of Genesis and it's simply this: it is not good for man to be alone. And that's not just about marriage.

Men do not do well alone because what happens to a man is there are dark places, there is secrecy, there are sins that so easily beset us. I'm sure women got this too, but you know what, I don't want to hear your stuff either. Because what would be so bizarre hearing from a man what men struggle with, a woman starts talking about what she struggles with, we'd go, "Whatever, doesn't make any sense, but as long as that's your deal, good for you."

Somewhere sometime, and I'm going to move from left to right here if you want to go ahead and go to, just to give you a head start, go to Psalms, and these are not new passages, Psalm 51. I'm going to read a little bit here. I'm going to talk to you about confessing sin and about talking to God about stuff, but we're going to end up some other place where I believe that at a certain point and maybe you're not this way, maybe you are, for me, it is not enough to confess my sins to God.

I know I can confess them and He can forgive them, but if I really want to make change in my life, permanent change, be set free from things, the only way for me is to have someone else in my life that I sit down and come clean with. If I'm not doing that, I'm in trouble because I retreat into my secret little hole somewhere where nobody knows, nobody sees, nobody hears, and your mind, your body, whatever your struggle is, you start hiding. Whether it's drugs, alcohol, sex, whatever your deal is. If there is darkness, there is secrecy, usually there is sin.

Let me read you a few quotes. James Arthur Baldwin said this, "Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within." Nathaniel Hawthorne, "No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which one is true." Thomas Merton, "The first step toward finding God, who is truth, is to discover the truth about myself and if I have been in error, this first step to truth is the discovery of my error."

Pearl Bailey, "You never find yourself until you face the truth." Henry Louis Mencken said this, "The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth." Psalm 51, one of the most notorious people in the Bible who the reason I even cite this and I've used this passage tons of times is because it's just such a pure admission, just coming clean.

In Psalm 51, verse 1, David's committed adultery, been accomplice in getting Bathsheba's husband killed. It's just a disaster and he finally cries out, "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to your loving kindness, according to the multitude of your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions." And then look what he says in verse 2 and following. He basically says to God, "Come clean. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only have I sinned and done this evil in your sight, that you may be found just when you speak and blameless when you judge."

I find it fascinating that he doesn't say "I've sinned against Bathsheba, Uriah, anybody else." He said "God, it's against you." I'll argue this point with you. It is easier to get away with sinning against people than it is finally to get away with sinning against God. If it ever occurs to us that ultimately it is God that we sin against, it'll shut us down. If you have any respect, any reverence whatsoever for who God is, you'll say, "You know what, I can't do this anymore."

I don't think He's coming after a dirty bride. I've done a lot of weddings, I've participated in one, and I've been to a lot of weddings. It is just crazy amazing what happens to get a bride ready to come through that back door. A groom can play golf all day long, take a shower, maybe shave as long as he's up there doing the right thing, not falling over drunk, they'll take him. But the bride, oh my gosh, she's had her hair done, her nails done, her toes done, everything she's got on is probably brand new except some old thing.

Here she comes through the door and everybody's looking and waiting, "What's the dress going to look like?" And you say, "Well, what does that have to do with the Church?" Jesus has got a fiancee and we're it. And one day we're going to bust through the back door, either pure, holy, clean, or just this ragtag garage sale dress, threw something on, shuffled our hair around and come running through the door. "Oh, sorry I look like whatever."

You are that bride, I'm that bride. And beyond that, if He is going to use us, and I grew up going to church every day of my life, I've been in churches where nothing was going on, nothing happened, just dead as a doornail. Our country is filled with churches. Why is there nothing going on? Why doesn't the wind blow in America? Why isn't there great revival, the old word we use? Why didn't God move on America?

I think He has a hard time finding a clean scalpel. He'd go to work, He'd operate, not to hurt anybody but to help our country. He can't find many clean scalpels because we won't come clean and we won't ask Him to come clean all our junk. Now I've got probably, well, I may have stuff I don't even know about and I'm afraid that if I come clean on what I've got, He'll come after more stuff and I realize there's no end to this, and that's probably the truth.

You have to have a basic desire to say, "God, I don't want to live this way, I don't want to die this way, and good is not good enough. I want the best. And I want you to search me and try me. I want you going through me, I want you checking me out. I want to make sure I'm really coming clean and if I can't do it alone, I'm going to find somebody or a couple of people that I can trust and I'm going to sit down and I'm going to start talking and I'm going to start changing and I'm asking you to help me."

Go to Proverbs 28:13. This is a simple little verse in the Proverbs, but it is so powerful. Proverbs 28:13 simply says this: he who covers his sins will not prosper. Covered is simply just that: it means to cover, to conceal. You're hiding something. Now let me ask you this simple question. What are you hiding? It's not hard to figure out, is it? I think everybody in the room, everybody listening wherever you are knows exactly what you're hiding. What you hiding? You say "Nobody knows, I ain't telling you."

But somehow God knows and you say, "Well, why don't I get anywhere? Why don't I prosper?" It's right here: he who covers his sins will not prosper. The word prosper here means to make prosperous, bring to successful issue, cause to prosper, to show and experience prosperity. I don't know about you, I want the blessing of God. I don't want to just exist, I want God to bless me. You've got to come clean. You've got to quit hiding this stuff.

I'm not making this up. I'm telling you from personal experience and just reading straight out of the book. It ain't going to work without coming clean. You say, "Well, I'm afraid to sit down with somebody because if somebody heard what I am and what I think and what I do and what my issues are, they'll reject me." Who cares? It'd be better to prosper, whatever that means in your life and what God's trying to do.

The second part of this verse: but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. There's no way you can find this stuff unless you study, so I recommend digging a little deeper in the scriptures. This word here for confesses, the tense, the use here is to give thanks, laud, praise, to confess, confess the name of God. There is a confessing with almost built-in worship. It is coming to God not just saying, "Hey, look, I'm just telling you what's going on here."

It's a confessing that comes with an attitude of thanks, of praise, like I get it, God. "I'm coming to you, I realize I can confess this to you. I'm tired of covering my sin and not prospering, so I know if I confess it and forsake them, you'll give me mercy." That's something to worship about. That's something to be thankful for. If all you're doing is going to God and saying, "Oh God, I did this stupid thing I've been doing for 30 years again, here I am again," and you're just "woe is me" in it the rest of your life.

If it ever dawns on you that built-in with confessing is mercy, you're going to get excited. If you would confess with some thanksgiving, with some praise, with some worship built into it, you're going to enjoy that more than the stupid sin you've been doing your whole life. Whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy. Now let me read the definition for this word forsake: to depart from, to leave behind, to leave, to let alone, to abandon, forsake, neglect, apostatize, to let loose, set free, let go. You forsake it. I give up my blanky.

It's gone. Now what we do is we confess our sin, but what we've done before we confess our sin is we went and hid our problem somewhere in the house so we know where to go back and get it. Because I have no intention of really forsaking this. I feel bad for a minute and I'm a Christian or whatever, so I got to go through this thing like I've been doing my whole life. "Oh God, have mercy." But as soon as I get done here and that desire comes back, I know where it's hidden. I'm going back.

If your problem is alcohol, let's start with anybody says "Oh, I'm not an alcoholic, I just, you know, start early," or whatever that means. A little Jack Daniel's breakfast never hurt anybody. You're laughing, but if that's your problem, it's not so funny. Go home, find your stash of Jack Daniel's, take the top off, find you a commode or a sink, and just pour it all down the toilet. Expensive. You don't think God wants me to do that?

I just agree and not to drink anymore, but I don't think we should waste this quality. Think how long it got to get this way. Yeah, think about that. How long did it take to get you this way? Why am I going after you? Because somebody's been going after me and I got to have somebody to go after. It's making a difference for me. I had one of the most amazing Friday afternoons with my buddy that I have ever had in my life because I finally went beyond just sitting there telling him stuff to getting into some details.

I'm telling you, I can breathe again. I told him, I said "We've been talking and we've been going to this point, but I've got to go further. I've got to tell you more of my junk because it's eating me up and I don't want to live this way, I don't want to die this way." So terrified, and I may trust him more than anybody on the planet, and I started giving him more details and I started getting more free almost simultaneously.

Am I done? Am I finished? I have no more temptation, no more problem? I wish I could say that were true. I doubt it. But it sure helps to do it that way. I'll read you a verse to back that up in a minute just in case you're feeling left out. You say, "Well, preacher, you just talking about drugs and alcohol and sex. I didn't make your list, so I guess I'm okay." I found this quote: Sam Jones used to have quitting meetings during his revivals.

He gave the people opportunity to confess their sins and to repent. Many quit swearing, drinking, smoking, gossiping. He asked one woman what she planned to quit and she replied, "I ain't been doing nothing and I'm going to quit that too." Okay, now, I think the eyes of the Lord run to and fro over the earth trying to find people who will come clean and ask Him to come clean all our junk.

I want to jump ahead to a verse in James chapter 5. In James chapter 5, this is what it says: "Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing psalms. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the sick and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven."

Look at verse 16: "Confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed." Now, one of the things that sometimes Protestants beat up on Catholics about is confessional. I don't believe that there is anyone that you have to go to before you go to God in terms of getting confession. Every believer can go straight to the throne of grace and get forgiveness.

There is a piece of what they have that is a person saying to another person out loud "This is what I did." And I'm not encouraging you to buy screen doors and confess to one another. I'm talking about eye to eye, one on one, sit down. I'm not saying do this randomly. And I'm telling you, it took me a very, very long time to get to the place where I trusted someone enough to just completely be able to talk about my stuff.

So I know this can take time. But my fear of trusting someone was trumped by my fear of going down with my sin. And I finally said, "I cannot take it anymore. I cannot live in my own head and in my own heart, in my own life without somebody helping me. I will risk calamity sharing my life before I will risk destruction going down because of some sin I was afraid to talk about." Okay? So I'm not telling you this is easy or fast, but I believe biblically it is necessary: confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed. You share your heart, you pray for each other, and I think there's healing. I think there's change. Personally, I know there is.

Guest (Male): Before Richard comes back to wrap things up for us today, I'd like to share a couple important things with you. Let me encourage you to take a minute and check out our website, RichardEllis.com. You'll find today's talk right there in the talks page along with all of Richard's audio and video messages. You can even forward them to a friend so they can hear them too.

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Richard Ellis: Let's pray. And our Father, first of all, I want to thank you for you and for your willingness to listen to the same old junk for so long in each of our lives. And it seems interesting, Lord, to me that we're so quick to confess all kind of sin sometimes, except for the one that you asked us to lay aside.

Father, you said that if we abide in you and your words abide in us, that we would know the truth and that truth would set us free. Lord, help us deal in the truth and put an end to the lies and into the secrecy and into the concealing, which leads to no prospering. But to be willing to confess and to forsake, Lord, and know that we will find mercy. Amen.